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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:35:28 GMT
Peggy: Listen, Honey, I'm having a little trouble with the insurance company. Did you know that the French claim that the real Mona Lisa is theirs, just like we did? Al: You know, it's a dark day when someone will believe the French over me!.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:35:42 GMT
Ironhead Haynes' Nine Commandments: 1. It's okay to call hooters "knockers" and sometimes "snack trays." 2. It is wrong to be French. 3. It's okay to put all bad people in a giant meat grinder. 4. Lawyers: see rule three. 5. It is okay to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes. 6. Everyone should car pool but me. 7. Bring back the word "stewardesses" 8. Synchronized Swimming is not a sport. 9. Mudwrestling is a sport.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:37:58 GMT
Revenge is great. It's phenomenal! It's the only thing that separates us from the animals. It's why I stay with your mother."
"Yes, lying, owing money and beer. The only thing that separates us from the Kennedys is that they have money."
"When one of us is embarrassed, the rest of us feel better about ourselves."
"A Bundy never wins, but a Bundy never quits."
"Hooters, hooters, yum, yum, yum. Hooters, hooters on a girl that's dumb."
"So you think I'm a loser? Just because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every morning when I wake up, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered down Tang and still-frozen Pop Tart, get in my car with no upholstery, no gas and six more payments to fight traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes on the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I thought I would, I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman, and I'll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head. But I'm not a loser. 'Cause despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what he wanted to be, are still out there, being what we don't wanna be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I haven't put a gun to my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner!"
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:38:22 GMT
I'll nominate the NO MA'AM Clan as well.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:38:25 GMT
Bud: He said use your wits Kelly, with a 'w' Kelly: Dad, Bud's spelling at me again
Kelly: That's the second time this week some guy's chained me to a fence and walked away
Kelly: Get in the car, get outta the car, get in the car... you're starting to sound like one of my dates
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:38:51 GMT
Bud: He said use your wits Kelly, with a 'w' Kelly: Dad, Bud's spelling at me again
Kelly: That's the second time this week some guy's chained me to a fence and walked away
Kelly: Get in the car, get outta the car, get in the car... you're starting to sound like one of my dates
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:39:00 GMT
peg- al you never listen to me. al- why would i? i hava a tv. peg- right, its the only thing you've turned on in the past 20 years. al- i'd turn you on too, if you came with a remote and a mute button.
i love that one!
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:39:12 GMT
"Peg, if your life were any easier you'd be in an urn on the mantle." - Al.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:40:32 GMT
Al: "...I shall be...'Bazooka Joe'."
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:40:36 GMT
Jefferson: "Wish I had picked that instead of 'Anheiser Busch'."
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:40:43 GMT
Peg: What's that toilet got that I don't? Al: a job (from "A Dump Of My Own")
Al: names Bundy...Al Bundy, I'm with the national food market supervision council, name's Bundy. I carry a whistle. ("You better shop around. Part 1")
Peggy: That just shows that you guys have no life, we on the other hand have a reciept...and no lives. ("You better shop around. Part 2")
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:40:54 GMT
I definently am for a Married...With Children section. It was and still is my favorite show.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:41:00 GMT
Peg: "Aaaaal, let's have seeeeex!"
Al: "Um, no, Peg."
*flushes the toilet next to the couch*
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:41:48 GMT
I definently am for a Married...With Children section. It was and still is my favorite show.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 29, 2013 14:41:57 GMT
If it wasn't for beer, there would be at least three people, who probably wouldn't be married - Me, Jefferson, and probably Lisa Marie Presley. Number two - since men buy beer, advertisers have to cater to what we want. And hold on to your corncob pipe - we like pretty women. Pretty women sell beer, ugly women sell tennis rackets. Pretty women - cars; ugly women - minivans. Pretty women make us buy beer, and ugly women make us *drink beer*.
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