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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 28, 2015 3:00:17 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Big Salad” (S6, E2)
Best Character
JT: I really enjoyed Jerry here and Newman was great in his brief scenes, but I have to go with Kramer this time around. The way he popped in and out all episode with updates on the Gendason situation was great and watching it all unfold and payoff with the police chase was well done. The final scene was great too with them bickering over which roads to take while evading a monster police brigade.
Aaron: There’s a lot to love here but Elaine slayed me in this one. From her all encompassing job description to the pure loathing she shows George while in the back of the taxi it all kills. By the time she accepts a date with the slow talking stationary guy with absolute disgust on her face she’s already wormed her way into all of our hearts.
Andrew: No one jumps out as an obvious choice, but I think George was the best. He’s pretty great at conveying the discomfort of dating someone smarter than you, right down to his attempt to break through the uncomfortable tension with some inane trivia. I also enjoy remembering Bobby Hebert. And George’s cheapness is always good for a solid storyline.
Jordan: I was set to give this to George with the whole salad ordeal, but Kramer won it with the final scene. He was solid throughout with his paranoia and fear that his golf ruling may have led to a murder, but the phone call and Bronco chase at the end puts him over the top. Sorry George!
Jason: No one had a breakthrough performance here, but I’ll go with Jerry. His obsession with finding out why Newman dumped Margaret was quite enjoyable.
Best Storyline
JT: I will stick with Kramer and Gendason. The big salad was really good but the Kramer stuff just stood out more to me as the episode wore on. I almost lost it when they found out the guy was murdered with a golf tee. George’s eventual meltdown and rant about the salad after being so arrogant about buying everyone lunch was really great too.
Aaron: The slow eating away at George’s brain by the often mentioned Big Salad. The sad saga over something so banal manages to destroy a relationship and strain an already awkward friendship, perhaps beyond repair…
Andrew: Definitely Jerry’s obsession with Margaret’s past relationship with Newman. Dwelling on your girlfriend’s previous sexual partners is never a good idea, but I can certainly see why Jerry was having trouble letting that one go. I understand his obsessing over what made her unworthy in Newman’s eyes, but I would have been way more worried about the implications of a woman being attracted to both Newman and myself. To each their own, I guess.
Jordan: Since George did such a good job but didn’t get best character, I’ll give his story the W here. The big salad was a fun one, with George getting agitated over the tiniest detail and making it into a huge ordeal. And of course he blames Elaine for it all at the end.
Jason: The big salad stuff had it’s moments as did the Kramer & Gendason’s OJ parody stuff, which was better than I remembered. But, Jerry finding out Newman dated Margaret takes it for me.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: Should Kramer really feel guilty about the murder of poor little Pinkus? Gendason seemed like a loose cannon that could pop at any moment and he obviously had long brewing issues with Pinkus. The K-Man was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sure, he didn’t help things but Pinkus was probably destined to meet a tee-induced end either way.
Aaron: If your fat fuck of an mailman bangs your girlfriend before you should you continue your planned courtship? Nope.
Andrew: So Julie is upset that George told Elaine he bought the salad. But in noticing that, she reveals that she is perfectly aware of the fact that handing over the salad implied that she had paid for it. In effect, she really was trying to take credit all along, and is only mad because George spoke up for himself. Seems to me like she’s the monster here.
Jordan: If you are awarded a penalty stroke at the golf course, is that reason enough to murder a dry cleaner? I say yes. Yes it is.
Jason: If you pay for someone’s to-go meal and another person takes credit for it, is that worth arguing over? C’mon Georgie Boy! Julie is way above your league to begin with.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: Julie was…not someone I want to see more of. She was both annoying but also way above George so it didn’t fit on either level. I did like that she easily outsmarted George at the end, proving his mind tricks don’t always work. Margaret was fine, but the stank of Newman was just much for Jerry to get past. And really, can you blame him? Relationship Grade: Rat’s Nest/10
Aaron: George had no business dating Julie. Sure she’s not as breathtakingly out of his league as most women on the show, but his attempt to discuss quarterbacks with his intellectual girlfriend should have probably been a warning sign that a break up was imminent. Jerry’s right to cut and run on Margaret. I guess it’s up to Elaine to brave the stationary store guy if anyone has a hope of happiness here. Relationship Grade: Let’s stop doing this one.
Andrew: As previously discussed, Julie is a credit-stealing monster. The stationary store guy is a creep. And while I liked Margaret, I can’t blame Jerry for having an issue with the Newman thing. No one’s love life is going well here. Relationship Grade: I think he’s got ideas/10
Jordan: You know, I don’t think anyone PLANS to sell stationary for a living, sometimes it just happens. What led him to this path? At what point did he lose his passion for life? Elaine looks down upon him, but I feel she is just the spark that Stiles needs to rekindle his high school bravado. I like to imagine their date was just like when Stiles and Scott would cruise the town before big games, with Elaine dancing on the roof of the van as Stiles rode down the street past the hardware store. Thank you, Elaine. You may have reignited this mans passion in life. Relationship Grade: TEEN WOLF/10
Jason: As I mentioned earlier, Julie was way above George’s league. On the other hand, Margaret was was below Jerry’s. Regardless if she dated Newman or not, she wasn’t Jerome material. Poor Laney. Stationary guy was a major creep from the get go. Relationship Grade: Bobby Hebert/10
What Worked:
JT: The Rollamech 1000; I love how Mr. Pitt’s eccentricities are already coming out; Gendason; Kramer’s telling of the fight was tremendous; Bobby Hebert; The whole big salad fiasco was vintage Costanza and a very Larry David type issue; Jerry’s smarmy “bye bye” to Julie made me chuckle; The guy constantly calling to update the pencil order was great; The Newman/Margaret web was tremendous; Gendason killing the dry cleaner with the tee was a nice tie-in; Jerry and Elaine talking about Newman in the coffee shop was great and the Twinkie line is one of my favorites; Newman’s digs about Margaret were so well delivered; Poor little Pinkus; Elaine breaking the heart of the clerk and his guilt trip; Jerry being unable to kiss Margaret wrapped that story up well; The OJ spoof was timely and well done and didn’t feel forced at all
Aaron: I love that they keep saying “Big Salad.” It’s funny to say and funnier when it’s repeated every time they talk about it. Stationary slow talker was pretty great especially when he threatened Elaine with “You’ll be hearing from me.” George drawing out ownership over the big salad in the back of the taxi is only outdone by Elaine being completely done with him and tearing at her face. Kramer causing the brutal golf induced murder of a dry cleaner is wildly absurd and entertaining. His obsession of the rules based on possibly being abused after 9PM as a child is wonderfully dark. Newman is glorious in his gloating, giggling and glee. Elaine’s line reading of “You want me to give you the money for the big salad?” is pretty much perfect. As is George’s BIG SALAD mini dance. I think the show as a whole can be summed up in two moments here: the first is when George asks, “Did you see what just happened here?” And Jerry replies, “Well that depends…” It perfectly sums up the sheer joy the writers find in the minutia of life. When that minutia is infused with the absurdity of “He was so mad from the penalty stroke that he murdered the dry cleaner.” You have a classic on your hand.
Andrew: I enjoyed the creepiness of the stationary store guy. Elaine’s face when George is going on about the salad is fantastic. Kramer gets to do some quality storytelling in this episode, and has some great lines as well (“Poor little Pinkus”). Jerry has some good moments as well, and I especially enjoyed his Larry David-esque peer into Margaret’s face, followed by an epic wince.
Jordan: Elaine wanting a “big salad” from the diner was funny enough – the fact it is then mentioned 50 times and leads to a George meltdown and breakup is just icing on the…salad? I did like George trying to convince Julie he knew anything she was talking about. Stiles from Teen Wolf was great as the creepy salesman, and Elaine winding up dating him anyway was a nice twist. Jerry was good throughout, unable to come to grips with the fact that he was interest in Newman’s leftovers. Newman KNOWING that Jerry was irked by it was an even better layer to it, he finally got to put the screws to old Jerome. Kramer and Gendason and the unraveling of the murder story was a lot of fun.
Jason: A smart move by Elaine by giving stationary creep Jerry’s phone number and not dropping her last name to him. Kramer’s Gendason story from the golf course and tying in everything with OJ was brilliant. Jerry’s gag about what’s in a big salad was tremendous; tomatoes like volleyballs. Jerry’s bit about not going out in public on a date was great. Kramer’s, “without rules, there’s chaos” and “poor little Pinkus”. Having Newman previously date a girl Jerry is currently dating was brilliant writing. Jerry’s rant about how Newman will see anyone willing to see him. Jerry refusing to kiss Margaret because he sees Newman’s face in hers; Newman found her face unacceptable. The OJ/Bronco parody at the end with Kramer and Gendason. No other way you could have ended the episode.
What Didn’t Work
JT: Elaine’s point to the door when Kramer bangs around annoyed me for some reason; Julie is pretty annoying but is also much too smart for George;
Aaron: I hated that they ended with the god damn OJ chase. Wasn’t Roddy Piper doing it enough?
Andrew: Jerry is dating a new woman just about every week, but suddenly he’s too self-conscious to go out on a first date? What happened to the ultra-confident “Even Steven” from last season? Also, I don’t remember this bothering me at the time, but the OJ references were a bit unpleasant. It may just be that knowing the result of the trial, and the ugly years since, makes it all a little less funny. It’s the opposite of “too soon”, I guess.
Jordan: This one really bugged me – this episode takes place in the mid-90s, and Elaine lists her number as KL5? Everyone knows 555 are the TV phone numbers, but the KL instead of 55 just seemed SO dated, even for then. It just really bothered me.
Jason: I know it’s the main plot, but I think George’s obsession with Julie taking credit for the salad was a little too much. George should have swallowed his pride with this one.
Key Character Debuts
N/A
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “You’re name is?” – Clerk “Elaine.” – Elaine “Elaine…and your last name?” – Clerk “It’s just Elaine, like Cher.” – Elaine
– “Is that what I ask for? The BIG salad?” – George “It’s okay, you don’t…” – Elaine “No, no, Hey I’ll get it. What’s in the BIG salad?” – George “Big lettuce, big carrots, tomatoes like volleyballs.” – Jerry
– “A rule is a rule. And let’s face it. Without rules there’s chaos.” – Kramer
– “Yes. Yes. You know what’s interesting. The quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons is Bobby Hebert. No “r” which I find fascinating. You know it’s Herbert h-e-r-b-e-r-t, Hebert h-e-b-e-r-t. “Hebert” it’s a fun name to pronounce. Try and say it Hebert. Take a shot. All right.” – George
– “No, you go Guggenheim. I’m not much of a Guggenheimer.” – George
– “Imagine, her taking credit for your big salad. ” – Jerry “You know you buy a big salad for somebody it would be nice if they knew it.” – George
– “Well, generally speaking you don’t need any extra incentive to murder a dry cleaner. I wouldn’t worry about that.” – Jerry
– “It’s just that I was the one who actually paid for the big salad. She just happened to hand it to you. But it’s no big deal.” – George “You want the money for the big salad, George?” – Elaine “No, no,” – George “What is the problem?” – Elaine “There is no problem. . . just a small miscommunication. Whereby you thanked her instead of the person actually responsible for purchasing the big salad.” – George
– “No. It isn’t and the most distressing part of it is, not that she went out with him but that HE stopped seeing her. Do you understand? He, Newman; Newman stopped seeing her. Newman never stopped seeing anybody. Newman will see whoever is willing to see him. Not so much why she did see him as disturbing as that is. But why, did HE, Newman, stop seeing her?” – Jerry “Perhaps there’s more to him than meets the eye.” – Elaine “No, there’s less.” – Jerry “It’s possible.” – Elaine “No it isn’t. I’ve looked into his eyes. He’s pure evil.” – Jerry “He’s an enigma, a mystery wrapped in a riddle.” – Elaine “Yeah, he’s a mystery wrapped in a Twinkie.” – Jerry
– “No, we can’t. My skin is crawling just being inside your little rat’s nest.” – Jerry
– We see Newman’s apartment for the first time
– “Because that’s the way I weas raised. You know when I was growing up I had to be in bed every night by nine o’clock. And if I wasn’t, well I don’t have to tell you what happened.” – Kramer
– “Poor Pinkus, poor little Pinkus.” – Kramer
– “You know, I think I could have played with dolls if their were dolls in the house. It seems like fun to me. It doesn’t seem like a gender thing. I think I would like to play with dolls. What’s so terrible?” – George
– “All I could think of was when I was looking at her face was; Newman found this unacceptable.” – Jerry
– “You know, if it was a regular salad I wouldn’t have said anything. But you had to have the BIG SALAD.” – George
Oddities & Fun Facts
N/A
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: Similar to the premier, this was a really solid episode with lots of laughs and well developed, cohesive storylines that all tied up nicely at the end. Still, something is just missing to bump it into the highest tier and maybe I am just waiting for the spark from season five to reemerge. It may also be that we are still getting readjusted to a successful George and watching him suddenly become cocky about his success after having been so pathetic is a fun twist. The big salad is certainly a big pop culture catchphrase and George being George is always really good, but this one comes up just short in a few ways. Final Grade: 6/10
Aaron: I really dug this one on re-watch and was consistently laughing throughout. It was a complete blast. I never thought of this one as a classic but I laughed more here than in most I’ve seen to date. Final Grade: 9/10
Andrew: I enjoyed parts of this episode, and the Newman/Margaret relationship was a particularly good bit. But overall, it was just OK, and we’re at a point now where “OK” is a pretty big letdown. And it may be unfair to ding the episode for the OJ stuff 20-plus years later, but it bummed me out. Final Grade: 4/10
Jordan: I remember liking this a lot more in my head. I think it boils down to me expecting George to be a little more ridiculous than he actually was. Still, it was fine and a decent effort. But it’s season six of Seinfeld, a decent effort is definitely subpar for this show. I’ll throw it right in the middle Final Grade: 5/10
Jason: It doesn’t get any better than a woman getting dumped by Newman and then dating Jerry. The big salad stuff had it’s moments, but not one of my favorite main storylines in the series. Yes, it’s one of the bigger pop culture references to come from the show, but it didn’t hold up as good as I remembered. A middle of the road episode overall as we are just getting warmed up in this season. Final Grade: 5/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 28, 2015 3:07:23 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Pledge Drive” (S6, E3)
Best Character
JT: A lot of strong performances in this one, but Kramer takes it for me. He is at his best when his meddling leads to mayhem, and that was on full display here. Plus he had the best line of the episode (and of all time in my mind) when he trashed Nana for passing out bum checks. And then he clinched it at the end by bitching about the tote bags and getting Nana to dole out a donation.
Aaron: It was tight but I’ve got to go with Kramer once again. It could have easily been Elaine but Kramer assuring Dan that he can come out since “WE here at PBS support…” is fantastically presumptuous. Now that I look over my notes for the third time I have to give it to Elaine. Her telling Nana to drop dead was incredible. Now that I look at my note again I have to go with Kramer for claiming that not cashing the cheques was “tantamount to a slap in the face.” This is so hard. Why does this have to be so hard? It’s twenty to two in the morning. If I don’t say Elaine I’ll be labeled a sexist and potentially a homophobe. It’s Elaine.
Andrew: It’s a tough call, as everyone is similarly good, including the guest stars. But I think I enjoyed Elaine the most. Her incredulity regarding Jerry’s story of Noreen flirting with him makes for a good opening scene. And I enjoyed her selling Noreen on Dan’s masculine qualities (“I know he belches a lot”). But watching her sheepishly realize she had just told off Jerry’s Nana is the best.
Jordan: This gets more difficult as the show goes on, they’ve really found a way to make all four main characters get some showcase. Having said that, I’ll go with Elaine. I enjoy her disgust at the silverware usage and telling off Nana was a great moment. I also genuinely think she was the best, and didn’t pick her to hide my sexism like someone. COUGH COUGH AARON GEORGE.
Jason: Hell, I can’t decide. Screw it, everyone wins! The core four, Noreen, high talker Dan, Nana, Uncle Leo, Danny Tartabull, the street tough. Non-stop laughs the entire way through from all. STOP THE SHOW!
Best Storyline
JT: I will go with the check cashing only because Kramer was a force throughout it, plus Elaine and Kramer mixing up Nana for Dan was a good touch. It also brought us the funny scene of Nana being up and ready to roll at 5:30AM.
Aaron: Elaine fighting society is always fun. Elaine shouting down a bunch of “mad” people as they ridiculously cut their desserts into tiny pieces is double fun. Getting to see Mr. Pitt start a booming trend is triple fun. George shaming his fellow employees is… you get the idea.
Andrew: I’d say Dan’s high voice makes for the best storyline. I really enjoy the farce aspect, with Dan, Noreen, and Nana continually being mistaken for each other. They do a good job of continuing to raise the stakes with each misunderstanding, and Elaine telling Nana to “drop dead” was especially great. And having Dan mistaken for Danny Tartabull adds a nice touch of absurdity.
Jordan: I’ll go with Dan’s feminine voice. It played into other stories, got Elaine to tell Jerry’s nana to drop dead and was a lot of fun. I liked the goofiness of showing Dan talking with that voice dubbed over too. A close second is the candy bar cutting.
Jason: Again, a very hard decision here. The pledge drive stuff had an unforgettable payoff with Leo. The middle finger gag was very well done. The Dan, Noreen and Nana voice confusion stuff was brilliant. But, I gotta go with the candy bar cutting. So simple yet so effective by everyone involved. It was referenced by every storyline from Mr. Pitt to Danny Tartabull.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: Enough with the greeting cards! What is the obligation to always have to give a card with every gift? Some birthdays I received like six of the same card! Unless it is given as a nice thoughtful gesture and has a personal message written inside, do we need to waste the money and effort? What is the point? Why must I drop $4.99 just to attach a useless poem with my name on it to a gift? Just print a poem from the internet. Or write one yourself. I am taking a stand against the greeting card industry.
Aaron: If Elaine is fully aware that her friend’s husband sounds like a woman, shouldn’t she be a little more discerning before blabbing about said friend’s burgeoning infidelity? Yes. You’re god damn right she should be.
Andrew: Are PBS pledge drives ethical? Based on the evidence here, it’s just a bunch of overeager salesmen manipulating elderly women into spending money they can’t afford, so I’ll say no. We should probably defund PBS just to be safe.
Jordan: Who uses their middle finger to point at things? The waitress may have been unknowingly giving George the finger, but if that’s the case, use your index finger, weirdo. We’re trying to live in a society, people!
Jason: How long should you hold on to a card for before tossing it? I say it all depends what the occasion is. Birthday, holiday, sympathy, I say a week. Thank you card, a day or two.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: Dan and Noreen are a hot mess. Maybe they should just talk things out and maybe Dan should get an opetation so he doesn’t sound like a fucking Disney Junior character. Also, Jerry should have tossed Kristen in the trash along with her useless card. Relationship Grade: $4.99/10
Aaron: Why does Cheryl David stay married to Larry as long as she does on Curb Your Enthusiasm? She clearly hates the man and he barely tolerates her. It’s astounding. Relationship Grade: 250,000,000/10
Andrew: I’m sure Kristin has some nice qualities, but they certainly aren’t on display in this episode. And Dan needs to work on his jealousy, that’s a far bigger problem than his voice. Relationship Grade: Tantamount to a Slap in the Face/10
Jordan: We’ve only got Dan and Noreen here, and it’s gross. Dan is a lump of silly putty and Jerry shouldn’t be all that impressed that Noreen was hitting on him. He talks like a girl, she is oblivious to it, and they’re both average looking at best. It is the height of mediocrity. GEORGE would be an upgrade for Noreen, let alone Jerry! Also, Dan has a temper. If you lived next door to them, the high pitched shrills and squeaks you would hear would be hard to distinguish if they were having a fight or having sex. Either way, I am disgusted. Relationship Grade: 0/10
Jason: What an odd ball mess Dan and Noreen are. She’s not the most attractive woman, but I think she can do better than Dan. If Jerry had any chance with Kristen, he blew it the second she found the card in his trash. Relationship Grade: Channel 11/10
What Worked:
JT: I enjoyed Kramer getting excited that the greeting card was from Hallmark; Also, the K-Man thinking he got a slice of the PBS donation pie was a good laugh, as was Jerry’s aluminum siding retort; Elaine’s botched Noreen phone call was great, especially her panicked disengagement, and the follow up shell game with both of them bitching out Elaine was funny too; Mr. Pitt wanting the gossip while carving up a candy bar; Jerry’s stilted delivery during the PBS practice read; I am 100% with Jerome on the card situation, we have gone overboard with the cards; Kramer pushing Jerry to cash the checks was done in such a perfect Kramer way; I loved Jerry dismissing George’s attempts to secure a Yankee as “do your thing where you lie to everyone”; The indirect flipping off was a funny thread throughout; Great debut for Mr. Morgan and I love George derisively asking how he eats his candy; I love how Nana is up and dressed at 5:30AM so she has plenty of time to get to the bank before it opens; The tease with the thug and Nana was well done; Uncle Leo is awesome is always and I liked how Kramer kept chiming in during the phone call; Kramer’s line about Nana’s bum checks is one of my all time favorites; I dug the chain of eating candy and cookies with utensils leading to more and more characters doing it; George & Danny’s wild ride; Elaine telling Nana to drop dead; Kramer shutting down Dan was aces; The payoff with the broken middle finger was solid writing as was everyone eating their desserts with forks at the end
Aaron: I love the tiny “twisting” gesture that Mr. Pitt throws at Elaine when he orders her back to work. It’s also wonderful any time we’re invited into Justin Pitt’s eccentric home/office. I’m usually not a fan of arrogant George, but there was a great contrast between him “big timing” Jerry in the coffee shop and George clearly overcompensating cutting his Snickers bar in front of his higher status colleagues. Uncle Leo is his usual tornado of bad luck and yelling. George’s quest to not be given the finger is pretty classic. Is there anything more Seinfeldian than Elaine breaking down the differences between a loud talker and a high talker to her friend? WHERE IS NANA’S BANK???
Andrew: Mr. Pitt is still great, from his “get back to pencil-sharpening” gesture to his demand to know who was crying. George’s decision to class himself up by eating candy bars with a knife and fork is great, and his obsession with being flipped off is perfect. I also liked the callback to him helping Danny Tartabull with his swing. Kramer has some great moments, especially when talking Jerry into cashing Nana’s checks. Uncle Leo is great as always. And Jerry is particularly good here, pulling off his own ridiculousness (“Asked me where the ‘humor’ section was? Humor? Come on”) while also playing straight man to everyone else’s (“Alright, Do your thing, where you lie to everyone”).
Jordan: For me, just about everything. I loved Kramer here and his great desire to be on a PBS telethon. He goes from thinking he gets part of the proceeds by answering phones to being thrilled about a tote bag, and by the end of the episode he tries to hold up the whole thing until he gets it. Give the man his tote bag! Then he pushes Jerry to cash all of Nana’s checks, which may have lead to her murder if a more evil man had stopped her while she was looking for Chemical Bank. I also liked his comment to George in the diner about the waitress knowing what she was doing. Jerry wasn’t too bad here either, I don’t blame him for stammering about the greeting card in the trash. I thought him reading Danny Tartabull’s lines on the cue cards was funny too. Elaine was the best, but I’ve already discussed her. George and his obsession with being given the finger was awesome, and I liked the payoff at the end with the guy in the cast. Mr. Pitt starting a snack and dessert eating phenomenon is really funny, and the gang’s reactions to seeing it is always fun, I especially like George giving Tartabull a look of disgust as he eats a doughnut. Best part of the show was Elaine happily telling Jerry’s nana to die. Is it sad that I found her even more attractive in doing so? Uncle Leo is a can’t miss cameo every time. Noreen not being aware that Dan sounded like her was a great touch. Also, I like George being given some respect because of how he eats his candy bar. In fact, George working for the Yankees has been a huge hit so far.
Jason: Kramer and Elaine’s hello my dear/hello darling exchange. Kramer’s obsession over the tote bags and thinking he gets to pocket a percentage of the pledges he gets. Kristen’s trendy mid-90s wardrobe. Jerry telling George to do that thing he does when he lies to everyone in order to get a Yankee for the pledge drive. Kramer convinced that the waitress knows what she’s doing by pointing at George with her middle finger. NO ONE GIVES US THE FINGER, WE’RE YANKEES! Street tough guy was so great, angrily telling Nana the bank burnt down and it’s gone to being a gentleman and giving her directions to the main customer branch. Elaine telling Nana to drop dead is one of my favorite bits from the entire series. Kramer’s expressions towards Dan and namedropping alternative lifestyle shows on PBS. Leo showing up at PBS. Jerry’s Ken Burns Baseball reference. George’s road rage is always a treat. The payoff with the guy having a broken middle finger. The payoff at the end with everyone at Monk’s eating candy bars with a fork and knife.
What Didn’t Work
JT: Minor quibble, but Jerry acts like he has been getting $10 checks for decades but it only amounted to $60? Get that math straight!; I hate how Jerry says “Nana”; The end with Leo freaking out about Nana’s donation felt a bit unneeded
Aaron: Arrogant George really doesn’t do it for me. Jerry’s cue card reading reminds me of an NHL player hosting Saturday Night Live.
Andrew: Some of the mistaken incidents get a little too convenient, but that’s to be expected in a farce storyline, I think.
Jordan: I am pretty grossed out that the woman in the diner was using a knife and fork to eat an Almond Joy. Who eats Almond Joys?
Jason: Why the heck is Nana leaving her house at 5:30am to go to the bank? Jerry’s striped polo shirt wasn’t his best look.
Key Character Debuts
Nana
Danny Tartabull
Dan, the High Talker
Mr. Morgan
Noreen
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “If I was flattering myself, I think I’d come up with someone a little less annoying than Noreen.” – Jerry
– “Oh, who sent you a card?” – Kramer “I don’t know.” – Jerry “Open it, it’s from Hallmark.” – Kramer
– “Giddy-up! Alright! So now, how does that work? Now, what, I get a percentage of every pledge I bring in, right?” – Kramer “No, it’s not aluminum siding, it’s volunteer work. All the money goes to the station.” – Jerry “Okay, yeah, alright, that sounds good, but I still get a tote bag though, right?” – Kramer “Yeah, and one of those foam beer can holders.” – Jerry
– “Jerry, your grandmother gave you this gift. She wants you to spend the money, to have the fun that she can’t have. Oh, this is tantamount to a slap in the face.” – Kramer “Oh, get out of here.” – Jerry “Jerry, a gift not enjoyed is like a flower that doesn’t blossom.” – Kramer
– “Oh, well, a mantel’s a whole different story.” – George “Absolutely.” Jerry “If my parents had a mantel, I might be a completely different person.” – George
– “Alright. I’ll run it by a few people.” – George “Alright, Do your thing, where you lie to everyone.” – Jerry
– “He probably doesn’t want to get chocolate on his fingers. That’s the way these society types eat their candy bars.” – George
– “A PBS fundraiser? I’m not gonna waste any of the players’ time with that, besides the team already does so much promotion for channel eleven.” – Mr. Morgan “Channel eleven? Forgive me for trying to class up this place, for trying to have the Yankees reach another strata of society that might not watch channel eleven.” – George
– “Hey, the Bull owes me one, I helped him with his swing.” – George
– “Absolutely. Pending approval of the script.” – George “Excuse me?” – Jerry “Jerry, I’m Yankee management.” – George “Yeah, I’d like to see the script too.” – Kramer “You’re just answering phones!” – Jerry “It would put me at ease.” – Kramer
– “Your grandmother’s on a very fixed income. What, are you broke?” – Uncle Leo
– “My fault? Your Nana is missing because she’s been passing those bum checks all over town and she finally pissed off the wrong people.” – Kramer
– “No one gives us the finger! We’re Yankees!” – George
– “Well, I’m not leaving the premises without tote bags. I was promised tote bags and tote bags I shall have.” – Kramer
– “I’m sorry. I mean, I know what it’s like to be in love. Ties you up in knots. And Jerry is a very sexy man.” – Kramer “What?” – Dan “Look, I’m not judging you. In fact, we here at PBS, we have many programs celebrating your lifestyle. Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City, Gender Bending and Swinging in San Francisco. Before Stonewall about those dark ages when you couldn’t come out of the closet, lest you be persecuted because of your, you know.” – Kramer
– “As long as you’ve got your checkbook out, how about forking a little over to PBS? You watch the station, don’t you? You don’t want to be a freeloader.” – Kramer
Oddities & Fun Facts
– Kramer subscribes to Fortune Magazine
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: This one really surprised me. I remembered it being pretty good but I ended up laughing the whole way through. The weaving of stories and bits was masterful and it all paid off well in the end. The Nana scenes are some of my favorites of the entire series and I loved how nobody could tell her, Dan or Noreen apart. The PBS stuff was well done too as those pledge drives were such a big thing at the time. I continue to enjoy how George’s Yankee job ties into various stories and we also got the debut of Mr. Morgan. There was lots to like here with plenty of laughs and good storytelling as this was definitely a very welcomed surprise. Now, drop dead! Final Grade: 8/10
Aaron: I LIKED this one quite a bit but I didn’t love it. Kramer and Elaine carried it for me but it was a little devoid of the belly laughs of the past few episodes. The writing was tight and everything was seamlessly tied in. It was a very, very good episode. Just shy of great. Final Grade: 7/10
Andrew: This isn’t quite on the level of the more memorable, instant classics, but is still a really good episode. Well-crafted writing is always a joy to watch, and the performances were uniformly excellent. Even so, this episode is just a notch below the best. Final Grade: 8/10
Jordan: This was a really fun episode with a lot of unique stories. The high talker, the dessert cutting, cashing checks and discussion over greeting card etiquette? I’ll take it all please. I really feel like putting George with the Yankees is a genius move as it’s paid of already in just three episodes. The callback to helping Tartabull with his swing was a fun touch and the cherry on top to a terrific episode. Final Grade: 8/10
Jason: Man, what a leap we have taken from the first two episodes of this season. Every storyline worked well and blended in together. Great to see Danny Tartabull back, as well a Leo appearance and the debut of Nana. This episode falls just shy of perfect, but I highly recommend checking it out for a ton of laughs all the way through. It holds up as good as I remembered and will grade it as such. Final Grade: 9/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 28, 2015 3:09:57 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Chinese Woman” (S6, E4)
Best Character
JT: Kramer was at his best here, a force that takes over scenes and had multiple issues going on. The stuff with the Jockeys was really well done and him possibly knocking up Noreen was a good payoff to this mini arc. Honorable mention to the Costanzas, who were tremendous in their brief spurts. The cape argument and final fight were perfect.
Aaron: Imagine you’re sitting at your favorite coffee shop and you hear a crazed man screaming and clapping his hands, his heart full of sadness and rage over having being snubbed in the street; imagine said man throwing down the gauntlet of divorce to his wife in front of a room full of people including a stranger. This statement may not stand the test of this re-watch but this is the quintessential Frank Costanza episode for me. He destroys every scene and I’ve been quoting him since I first saw the episode twenty years ago.
Andrew: I think it has to be Kramer. The terror at the thought of not being able to reproduce, acting out the comfort/discomfort of his various undergarments, “calling the shots” for Noreen: he’s really a cut above everyone else in the episode.
Jordan: Kramer was a lot of fun in this one. His underwear dilemma was hilarious, and becoming Noreen’s adviser and lover at the end was a good turn. I liked him shouting out into the streets that his new girlfriend was late!
Jason: A great showing from everyone here, but I gotta go with the K-Man. He was flipping and flopping all over the episode, topped off with him yelling out of the window that Noreen was late!
Best Storyline
JT: The divorce. It featured all the great Costanza scenes plus the man in the cape. George’s fretting and the oven scene were great and I love that final fight when Estelle learns the truth about Chang.
Aaron: I guess I’ve got to go with the Costanza divorce after my lauding of Frank’s performance but I’d like to give a strong honorable mention to Kramer’s war with underwear culminating with him being free and loving every minute of it. I’ve never seen a man so content to be unfettered.
Andrew: Again, I think it has to be Kramer and his fertility. This storyline has the best lines of the episode by far, from Jerry’s “slipped one past the goalie”, to Elaine wondering if Kramer’s discomfort with providing a sperm sample is because it “conflict with your regular schedule”, to Kramer being “out there and loving every minute of it!”
Jordan: The Donna Chang story is it for me. I like the idea of a woman secretly wanting to be Chinese and immersing herself kn the culture, even letting people think she is. Calling herself Donna Chang and not just Donna is awesome. Jordan Duncan likes this idea.
Jason: Kramer’s sperm count was excellent and the Costanzas stuff was top shelf as always, but I gotta go with Donna Chang not being Chinese. Her misleading people because the rines were crossed was brilliant. A Larry David special that delivered all throughout the episode.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: Donna Chang knew what she was doing. It was sneaky and deceitful. But, advice is advice right? Estelle’s reverse racism may be admirable to some, but at the end of the day this crazy girl from Long Island clearly struck a chord. Listen to your heart, Estelle.
Aaron: Are the Chinese truly wise? I don’t feel comfortable answering that question as I really am unprepared for the wild storm of “You’re a racist!” and ” How dare you compliment anyone!” Man this episode would not fly in 2015.
Andrew: Is it racist to say you like Asian women? Asking for a friend. Joking aside, I think this ranks as a tad worse than the “Asian people are good at math” stereotype. Even if it’s a “compliment”, it’s not cool to ascribe a person’s qualities to his racial makeup, rather than his individual character.
Jordan: We live in a world full of people who are socially unaware. If you are a long talker, seek immediate help. Look for the signs. When chatting in person, does the other person look at you with the dull gaze of a dairy cow? Do they seem uninterested!? While on the phone, are all of your long and elaborate tales met with short grunt responses such as “uh huh”, “wow” or “cool”? If so, do us all a favor and shut up.
Jason: If you’re over ten years old, please stop wearing Jockeys. Boxers help you breath much better down there. Your boys can still have a home, but with boxers it’s more spacious living.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: Frank and Estelle are meant for each other. Who else will deal with either of them? Does Frank just want his own space? Is Estelle looking for some strange? Suck it up and make it work, for the sake of your fans. True love at its most Queens finest. Relationship Grade: Costanza/10
Aaron: Donna Chang is simply lovely and Jerry’s a bit of a dick for chastising her for his unreasonable Chinese expectations. You hang on to that perky girl from Long Island. She’s hot AND wise. Also Kramer clearly drove Noreen to suicide. Relationship Grade: Might as well Jump/10
Andrew: Not much chemistry between Jerry and Donna. His reason for dating her (“Well, she is a woman”) just about sums up the relationship. And poor Noreen has had a rough time with relationships. It seemed like Kramer might be a good move for her, but even then she ended considering jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge. Relationship Grade: Well, she didn’t seem to be having so much fun/10
Jordan: Noreen has some real baggage. High talkers, long talkers and Kramer? And through all of them, she goes to Elaine for her approval! Perhaps we have a single white female situation on our hands. Relationship Grade: Jennifer Jason Leigh/10
Jason: Donna Chang is pretty good looking for a Chi…girl from Long Island. Noreen is an absolute train wreck. Kramer should be double bagging it with her. Relationship Grade: Supercilious/10
What Worked:
JT: I like that Noreen hung around and has another awful boyfriend; The man with the cape!; I like Jerry & Elaine dodging Frank and also the reveal that Elaine was schlepping Jerry’s groceries; Kramer’s water line always makes me chuckle; Phone lines getting crossed sounds so weird in retrospect; George being perplexed about the cape is great; Really anything with the cape is awesome; Elaine dodging Paul is funny, whether is hanging up or talking for hours with the hair dryer to the phone in a true commitment to a lie; The second hand smoke dig by Jerry made me laugh; Kramer trying to pawn his Jockeys on Jerry was fantastic, just throw them away!; Frank’s anger about Jerry and Elaine’s snub; I loved how Donna broke the news of the divorce to George and that followed by him sticking his head in the oven was great too; The slow revelation that Kramer was free ballin’ was well done; Elaine destroying two straight relationships for Noreen; While I didn’t care for the mispronounced words, I did like the acupuncture and Confucius bits; Jerry tossing Elaine under the bus with Frank was great as was Estelle getting pissed that Donna wasn’t Chinese; Kramer taking control of Noreen’s life was a nice payoff; The final scene with Frank and Estelle deciding on the divorce was tremendous; I want footage of Frank and George playing Clue
Aaron: ELAINE I CAN SEE NOT SAYING HELLO, SHE’S WHAT’S THE WORD? SUPERCILLIOUS…HOW COULD JERRY NOT SAY HELLO!!!!! That is my favorite Seinfeld moment of all time. If you watch George closely you can see him turn his head away from the camera, presumably a laughing broken mess. YOU WANT A DIVORCE? YOU’VE GOT ONE!!!! That is my second favorite Seinfeld moment of all time. If only we had been blessed enough to see the scene where George and Frank play Clue…His obsession over not being told hello is marvelous as is his anger when his suspicion that it was all Elaine is confirmed. Poor Kramer’s dance of discomfort with the boxer shorts was sublime as was the dance of absolute comfort that followed. “I’m free and I’m loving every minute of it,” is a truly iconic Seinfeld moment. George’s reaction to his parents’ impending divorce is Biff Lowman on a platter. His insistence that the man in the cape is “somehow mixed up in this,” is just the right level of insanity for the character. Elaine is fantastic as she struggles to carry her groceries in the face of Jerry’s complete lack of human caring. She also excels while lamenting Jerry’s obvious disappointment that Donna Chang resembles her. I absolutely love how the blocking and setting for Elaine telling Noreen that her boyfriend is a long talker is exactly the same when she explained her last boyfriend was a high talker. Jerry’s depiction of Elaine’s destructive influence over Noreen is just the right amount of truth mixed with the right amount of spite. Larry David is King of the capes as “Frank Costanza’s Lawyer” is the King of the character names. Also “NOREEN’S LATE! SHE’S LATE!”
Andrew: I really enjoy (and relate to) Jerry’s comment about seeing Frank “out of context”. I also enjoy and relate to Jerry and Elaine blowing Frank off because they don’t want to get into a conversation with a man in a cape. And speaking of, Frank’s reaction to finding out they didn’t say hello is both predictable and perfect, and I hereby resolve to use the word “supercilious” more often. “Man in a cape” is such a perfect Seinfeld plot point, somehow both absurd and relatable all at once. And Larry David plays him just about perfectly; we probably should have known then that he deserved more screen time somewhere. Also, Frank’s explanation of the cape (“he doesn’t follow the trends”) is just about perfect too. And I loved George’s befuddled walkout when he hears about his father hanging out with a man in a cape. Finally, I covered this earlier, but so many of the lines about Kramer’s underpants situation are classics (“The only thing between him and us is a thin layer of gabardine”), and the message George leaves on the answering machine is right up there with them.
Jordan: I love that Jerry is ultimately just a douche. He doesn’t even care about Elaine lugging the groceries around. Frank’s lawyer strutting around town in a cape is excellent use of LD. The Costanzas’ divorce saga is awesome, and anytime they show up it ramps up the comedy factor. Kramer was terrific with the underwear choices, and the reveal (thankfully not literal) that he was swinging free was perfect. “I’m free and I’m loving every minute of it!” George wanting his parents to stay together simply because of his travel convenience fits him perfectly. I liked Jerry guilting Elaine as he lays out how awful of a friend she is to Noreen. And of course there is Donna Chang. I love her and her whole story. On paper it seems REDICUROUS, but in execution it works so well. Estelle changing her mind about taking Frank back because Donna is from Long Island is terrific.
Jason: Elaine humping Jerry’s groceries down the street. The distant shot of Frank and his lawyer on the street is so iconic in the series; Good cape weather. Cool. Breezy. Jerry seeing Frank in Manhattan being so out of context. I’m with Jerome, it’s not racist if you like the race. Kramer going through water like water. Kramer uneasy about rubbing one out during the day and Elaine asking if that conflicts with his regular schedule. Jerry being pumped about his first date with someone from the Pacific rim. Elaine hanging up on Paul because he’s boring. George asking if his father was in a cape. Frank losing his shit because Jerry and Elaine didn’t say hello; Oh, the hell with them! Kramer swinging into the apartment with a hand full of Jockeys. Jerry’s disappointment that Donna Chang isn’t Chinese; Changstein. Kramer going commando. George hopping in the oven after Donna says Frank and Estelle are getting divorced. Jerry thinking Donna Chang likes people thinking she’s Chinese; Acupuncture class and a few bits of wisdom from Confucius.Jerry calling out Donna Chang about not being Chinese. Elaine not making eye contact with Noreen while defending the Paul hang up’s and call him boring. Donna Chang saving the Costanza’s divorce because Estelle thinks she’s getting advise from a Chinese woman, then meeting Donna in person; She’s not taking advise from some girl from Long Island. Kramer hooking up with Noreen after Elaine ruins her life. Jerry blaming Elaine for not saying hello to Frank. George being worn out after spending the day with his parents. Kramer’s shout out from the window that Noreen is late. The payoff with Noreen being saved by Frank’s lawyer from jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge was perfect!
What Didn’t Work
JT: The whole discussion around Kramer, George and Jerry knocking up women is really odd, none of them used protection? Weird storyline; I didn’t think we needed Donna Chang blatantly mispronouncing words to get the point across, felt over the top; How often does Elaine call Noreen?
Aaron: I hate Jerry’s shirt that he wears on the date with Donna. It’s hideous and Frank would have surely screamed that Jerry had “NO EYE FOR FASHION” had he laid eyes on that piece of shit. Do lines every actually get crossed? I’ve never heard of that happening in real life. It was always perplexing to me.
Andrew: Something about the “Chinese Woman” storyline doesn’t quite work for me. In theory, I really like the idea of a plot involving a person misrepresenting their race, but it never really hits the right notes to make it enjoyable. Maybe it’s a simple as this: Jerry saying Donna “likes people thinking she’s Chinese” isn’t a substitute for actually showing her enjoying people thinking she’s Chinese.
Jordan: I am very nervous about the safety of our country if the Army takes Noreen. She is suicidal and cannot commit to anything. Is this who is protecting me from Al-Qaeda?
Jason: Kramer can do way better than Noreen. Let the Army try and get that whack job squared away.
Key Character Debuts
Donna Chang
Paul the Long Talker
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “Why is Mr. Costanza with a man in a cape?” – Elaine “Well, it is good cape weather. Cool. Breezy.” – Jerry “Yeah, why a cape? Who wears a cape? Where do you even get a cape?” – Elaine
– “Hey, it’s George. I got nothin’ to say…” – George
– “Should’ve talked to her. I love Chinese women.” – Jerry “Isn’t that a little racist?” – Elaine “If I like their race, how can that be racist?” – Jerry
– “Yeah, I think these Jockeys shrunk.” – Kramer “I thought you wore silk underwear.” – Elaine “No. Well, you know, I wore ’em for about a month but I couldn’t stay with it. Yeah, I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house.” – Kramer
– “Sperm count? Well how many sperm should I have?” – Kramer
– “She knew who I was! She saw me in a club one time! My first date ever with the Pacific Rim. I’m very excited.” – Jerry
– “Well, but what if I am? I’m the last male Kramer! We’re facing extinction!” – Kramer
– “No…go ahead…I second-hand smoke two packs a day.” – Jerry
– “Well, she’s…like you.” – Jerry “Oh, how…disappointed you must have been.” – Elaine “Well, it’s false advertising, see? And the thing is, I think she likes people thinking she’s Chinese. She suggests Chinese food. She always introduces herself as Donna Chang!” – Jerry “So why’re you seeing her again?” – Elaine “Well, she is a woman.” – Jerry
– “Boxers! How do you wear these things!! Look at that–they’re baggin’ up, they’re rising in! An’ there’s nothing holding me in place! I’m flippin’! I’m floppin’!” – Kramer
– “Queens is full of mosquitoes.” – Frank “So, Dad…” – George “Gnats, too. If I’m not mistaken.” – Frank
– “Elaine, I can see, not sayin’ hello. She’s very–what’s the word–supercilious.” – Frank “So Dad.” – George “How could Jerry not say Hello?!!” – Frank
– “Yeah, you know it’s a shame his parents didn’t get divorced thirty years ago. He could have been normal.” – Jerry
– “Have you ever spent any time with these people? – Jerry “You know what this has to do with? The man in the cape. I bet you he is mixed up in this! I don’t trust men in capes.” – George “You can’t cast aspersions on someone just because they’re wearing a cape… Superman wore a cape… And I’ll be damned if I’m gonna stand here and let you say something bad about him.” – Jerry “All right Superman’s the exception.” – George
– Jerry’s Superman obsession comes out for the first time in a while
– “The only thing between him and us is a thin layer of gabardine. Kramer, say it isn’t so.” – Jerry “Oh, it be so. I’m out there, Jerry, an’ I’m lovin’ every minute of it!!!” – Kramer “Don’t you need a little…help?” – Jerry “Surprisingly, no. I’m free, I’m unfettered…I’m like a naked innocent boy roamin’ the countryside!!” – Kramer
– “So she breaks up with him. Somehow picks up the pieces of her life. Miraculously meets: A New Guy! Ya bust that up! An’ then, just as they’re reconciling, you announce to the world: He’s Boring.” – Jerry
– “Who wears a cape?” – George “He’s very independent; doesn’t follow the trends.” – Frank “He looks ridiculous in that thing.” – Estelle “You have no eye for fashion!” – Frank “I have no eye for fashion?” – Estelle
Oddities & Fun Facts
– Larry David portrays the man with the cape
– Phone lines being crossed is a very 90s issue
– Boxers vs. Briefs is another very 90s issue
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: There were a lot of funny bits and moments and honestly many of them were classic ones. But…this was an odd case where tremendous parts didn’t equal a great sum for whatever reason. Like, the individual scenes were all really good but as a whole it just never seemed to click for me. Some of the Chang stuff was forced as well, which took away from things. I adored the man in the cape and all things Costanza and Kramer’s underwear foibles were fantastic. The pregnancy stuff was odd in many ways too. Like why are they proud about knocking up random women? Has Jerry done it before and then they have an abortion? A miscarriage? It was just an odd direction to go. Again, this grade feels low because of some of the classic moments here, but I just wasn’t feeling the total…ahem…package. Final Grade: 7/10
Aaron: A few months ago I sat down and tried to figure out what my favorite Seinfeld episode of all time was; after much consternation I landed on “The Chinese Woman.” After re-watching this one I love it even more. The Costanza stuff is brilliant, the Kramer stuff kills and the rest of the supporting players excel. The writing is tight and everything is wrapped up with a nice tidy pregnant bow. As of right now it’s still my favorite. Final Grade: 10/10
Andrew: There’s a lot to like about this episode, particularly some classic lines about the relative merits of men’s undergarments. But the overall episode doesn’t come together for me. I feel like it needed a better payoff; none of the closers (Estelle finding out Donna Chang isn’t Chinese, “She’s late!”, the bridge) got a laugh big enough to end the episode on a high note. High marks for memorability on this one, but I was still left wanting more. Final Grade: 7/10
Jordan: I love this one. It’s got a social quirk commentary with the high talker. It’s got Jerry being careless to the needs of others, Kramer is great, George is panicking, and Elaine is ruining lives. Throw in a really good guest star with Donna Chang, the return of the Costanzas and even a Larry David appearance, and I am sold. Final Grade: 9/10
Jason: Another episode with so much jam packed in it. A lot going on and everything tying in makes this episode a fun watch. The mystery of Frank’s lawyer, the Costanzas’ divorce. Kramer’s sperm count and Donna Chang all made for tons of laughs. The flame is starting to burn bright on this season after a slow start. Final Grade: 7/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Dec 28, 2015 3:10:44 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Couch” (S6, E5)
Best Character
JT: George takes this one for me. Jerry had a strong showing but George is at his best here, a whirlwind of lies as he takes any step possible to not read a book. The scenes at the Temple apartment are some of my favorites of all times, especially his closing, exasperated “Joe…” The pink eye lie was tremendous as was the last scene where he didn’t realize Fred was gay.
Aaron: It was going to be sweet unreasonable Poppy but I’ve got to go with George. Just read the damn book.
Andrew: I feel like I could make a case for anyone, but Jerry was my favorite. His throwaway response to “What kind of a person are you?”, “I don’t know”, always gets me. And his frozen-in-horror take when he first sees the puddle on his couch is perfect. But most of all, I love the way he keeps screwing with Elaine and her moral stances. I, too, have taken perverse pleasure in taking an offhanded comment to an argumentative extreme, so I really enjoy the delight in his eyes when he says the scene at Poppie’s “was pretty much all my fault.”
Jordan: Georgie boy runs away with this one. It takes a real slimeball to concoct a plan to lie about reading a book and go to the lengths that he did. If someone came to my home insisting on watching a movie with me, I would welcome them in, offer them the finest seat, then excuse myself to a room where I would promptly call 911 and weep until they arrived.
Jason: I was ready to chalk up Jerry for the win here until George showed up at the Temples’ apartment. This crazy schmuck was at his best! Using pink eye as the excuse why he couldn’t read the book, asking for something to nosh on, being frustrated by Joe’s wife interrupting the movie and arguing with Remy over seating arrangements. All topped of by him spilling grape juice their couch.
Best Storyline
JT: I am going to cop out and call this one a tie between George’s book club homework and the all time epic Poppie peeing on Jerry’s couch. I have no idea how someone even comes up with that scenario but only Seinfeld could make it work so believably on multiple levels without it being over the top and campy. Plus they leave it in such a way that you don’t know for sure if Poppie did it out of revenge or if he is just a crazy old man that pees wherever the hell he pleases.
Aaron: George going to the Temples’ house, sitting on their couch and weaseling his way out of reading a literary classic. He’s in their house and yet his demands popcorn, juice and a teenage girl to get the hell out of his seat. Even with his impassioned plea to Joe he still didn’t manage to get to the George Peppard homosexual scenes.
Andrew: I think it’s the couch. It’s not the most elaborate story: guy buys couch, other guy pees on it, first guy has to get rid of it, and that’s pretty much it. But it scores incredibly well on the memorability scale. The relief on Poppie’s face when he sits down is incredible.
Jordan: I know that Poppie and the couch is more memorable, but George’s quest to watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s is just great. The lengths he goes to in order to NOT read a book is legendary and resonates deep within my soul. Mr. Temple clearly hates him, it’s so fun to watch.
Jason: The abortion debate was something that was very rare for TV during this time and was well done, but I gotta go with Poppie pissing on Jerry’s couch. Jerry and the K-Man staring at the pee stain and Jerry’s disbelief about it was tremendous. IS IT?… COULD IT?… COULD HE HAVE?… IT IS!!! POPPIE PEED ON MY SOFA! is one of my favorite Jerry moments in the entire series.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: I feel like since Poppie didn’t promote his beliefs on abortion that the fallout shouldn’t have been so severe. Would you leave a restaurant if the owner admitting a stance on a certain topic after he was proactively asked? I guess he was a dick about it. But that Newfoundland duck!
Aaron: How many times can you flip over a couch cushion before you take the poor thing out back and burn it like the asshole that it is? Guys let’s face reality here; underneath all the stitching and artistry it’s just foam under there. Once the urine, blood or bats get in there it’s just no use any more. Take the couch out back light it ablaze and watch. Stare right into it and enjoy every second of that sweet, sweet fire. If tears of joy fill your eyes, don’t stop with the couch.
Andrew: If you own a couch that you know has been peed on, do you have to warn your guests about it? My theory on germs is that any number of people and objects I encounter in a given day could be indescribably filthy, so it’s best not to think about it, beyond taking basic hygiene precautions. So I’ll go with a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy on your pee couch.
Jordan: Are you required to save your seat when you are just refilling your juice? George was pretty rotten throughout the entire episode, but here is an instance where I am firmly on Team Costanza. Remy sliding over to steal his seat was total bush league! She knew he was sitting there!
Jason: There’s a lot to work with here. Should you not date someone or eat somewhere because of their stand on abortion? When is a pizza a pizza? I’m with Poppie here. The moment you put your fists in the dough it’s a pizza. If you don’t offer someone a drink after they hauled your new couch in, does that make you a shitty person? Yes it does. Bad move by Jerome here.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: I would have like to have seen more of Marie. Her teaching George to read would have been a nice story arc. Carl should have lied to ensure he got some from Elaine. I can’t imagine he was that passionate on the subject. Relationship Grade: George Peppard/10
Aaron:Spaceman came down to answer some things, the world gathered round from paupers to kings. I’ll answer your questions, I’ll answer them true, I’ll show you the way you know what to do. Who is wrong and who is right? Yellow, brown, black or white? Spaceman , he answered, “You’re no longer mind, I’ve opened your mind, you’re now color blind. Racial.” Relationship Grade: Season 1 Episode 4/10
Andrew: I was really enjoying Elaine’s romance with the moving guy, it’s a shame they weren’t compatible on the issue of abortion. Let that be a lesson to us all: do not have morals. Relationship Grade: And no intelligent person can think differently/10
Jordan: On the surface, the Temples seem like an average family. But something sinister lies deep beneath. Look at the clues. He lets strangers into his home to watch movies. They don’t keep popcorn in the house. Their daughter has no shame in stealing seats. Something is rotten here. ROTTEN TO THE CORE. Relationship Grade: MR. TEMPLE PROBABLY KILLS AND EATS THE HOMELESS/10
Jason: Elaine and Carl are a good looking couple, but of course that comes to a screeching halt with his anti-abortion stand. George and Marie didn’t stand a chance. The second he joined the book club, they were doomed. Relationship Grade: Grape Juice/10
What Worked:
JT: George and Jerry discussing Truman Capote was good; I enjoy Kramer’s excitement over the new couch; I also really enjoy the K-Man’s make your own pizza idea; Kramer’s dig about Jerry not offering the drink was good as was George’s immediate procrastination over reading Breakfast at Tiffany’s; Poppie’s story abou this mother was delivered perfectly; Jerry is at his asshole best with the abortion stuff, especially with the delight he takes in causing all the trouble; Jerry pressing George to admit not reading the book; Kramer’s verbal beating on Jerry and Elain at Monk’s was great; Elaine is at her flirty best with Carl; Poppie being angry that Jerry & Elaine aren’t aware of his gastro disorder is amazing; Newfoundland has top notch ducks; Jerry just torturing Elaine by asking about Carl’s stand on abortion was treacherous and I loved Elaine veering off her lipstick in confusion; George showing up at Joe Temple’s house to watch the movie is one of my favorite storylines of all time; So is Poppie peeing on the couch, including his sigh of relief when he sits down and Jerry and Kramer’s reaction to the stain, especially the water spill; “She was a delicate flower”; Remy is a tremendous asshole and George’s pink eye excuse was brilliant; The revelation of Carl’s pro life stance was excellently executed; Kramer making the pizza and pissing off Poppie was a strong payoff; Also, the clear riff on arguing when a pizza become a pizza as an allegory to abortion was definitely way over my head as a teenager; George is at his douchebag best when he gets mouthy with Joe and his wife while they talk about their ill friend during the movie; George’s “Joe…” after he spills the juice on the couch is one of my favorite lines in series history; Nice payoffs with the grape juice breaking on the old couch and George in the book club meeting
Aaron: This one’s all about the writing. It’s simply brilliant how they manage to weave the abortion debate into a story about two guys opening a pizza restaurant. The analogy of if a pizza becomes a pizza the minute your fists hit the dough or only once it comes out of the oven is inspired. Poppy is a great raving lunatic of an old man, Kramer is his usual strong self and George and his quest to not read one page of Breakfast at Tiffany’s is wonderful and iconic. Elaine’s intonation as she names Poppie is Benes on a platter.
Andrew: All the storylines are great. The callback to Kramer’s “make your own pizza” idea is fun, and I enjoy the way his argument with Poppie about pizza becomes a metaphor for the abortion debate. Elaine flirting with the mover is great, and the fights over abortion are more entertaining than you’d think possible, considering the subject. The couch stuff still makes me laugh, and George’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s saga is an all-timer.
Jordan: A whole lot, honestly. I’ve spent all my time so far singing the praises of George, but the Poppie story is a lot of fun too. It’s pretty clear he pissed all over the couch, but why? I get wanting to settle the score, but you are now marching around in urine soaked pants. The abortion topic being debated in the form of pizza creation is great stuff. Kramer tossing the pizza with glee was fun to watch. Elaine is gorgeous when her hair isn’t curly.
Jason: Jerry getting a couch that doesn’t fold out to avoid people from sleeping over. Kramer feeling like he’s getting a new couch. Kramer’s tumble into the new couch as the movers are bringing it in. George’s struggle to concentrate on reading something that doesn’t have to do with sports. Jerry’s hesitation to shake Poppie’s hand was a great throwback to, “The Pie”; DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT MY MOTHER? Elaine and Poppie’s abortion bickering. Kramer blaming Jerry and Elaine for Poppie ending up in the hospital. A bottle of wine and five-alarm chili as Poppie’s get well gift was brilliant. Jerry bursting Elaine’s bubble about being in love with Carl; What is his stand on abortion; Could be trouble. George grabbing the Temples’ address from the movie store computer system. George describing Audrey Hepburn as a delicate flower. Kramer rocking the chef hat and apron while making pizza. As noted earlier, George killed it at the Temples’. Asking for food, wanting the lights off, getting frustrated with Mrs. Temple, bitching about his spot on the couch. George wanting Jerry’s couch after Poppie pees on it; he’ll just flip the cushions. An excellent payoff at the end with Elaine offering Carl a drink, throwing a bottle of grape juice for him to catch, missing it and spilling on the couch.
What Didn’t Work
JT: Jerry’s new couch really isn’t anything special; It is weird how Jerry acts like he wasn’t there when Poppie got busted by the Board of Health; I was a little surprised that the moving guys would willingly schlep the couch to Elaine’s; These days George would have many more options to track down and watch his movie;
Aaron: The repartee with Elaine and the mover was absolutely painful to sit through. Poppy bragging about his money was strange and almost as off putting as him wetting the couch.
Andrew: Some of Elaine’s lines are a little off. What was the point of using a Southern accent to mock Kramer’s restaurant idea? Who says “your mother must be very proud” when someone tells you how well they’re doing? Also, why is Poppie’s puddle still so visible the next day? Did Jerry make no attempt to clean it? Or is that how pee stains work? Now I’m even more horrified.
Jordan: I wasn’t a fan of the David Puddy wannabe that Elaine dated. He can’t have furniture because he sees it all day? Good thing he doesn’t work with food!
Jason: Carl driving his dates around in his moving truck is a little awkward. Jerry and his damn striped polo shirts. Jerry’s new couch isn’t the best looking piece of furniture. Poppie did a favor by taking a leak on it.
Key Character Debuts
Joe Temple
Remy Temple
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– Poppie returns, he was last seen in The Pie
– “I love this couch. You know what the best part about it is? It doesn’t fold out, so no one can sleep over.” – Jerry
– “Ooh, I can’t wait to get me a fella and make mah own pie!” – Elaine
– “They got a duck there, you think you died and went to heaven.” – Kramer
– “So, anyone sweaty comes into your house has to be offered a drink?” – Jerry “Yes.” – Kramer
– “My mother…was taken from my house by the Communists in the middle of the night when I was ten years old. She was sent to a slave labor camp, where she labored for twelve years. Finally, they released her and she was on a boat to America to re-unite with us…but she was served some bad fish, and she died…on the high seas.” – Poppie “So, what’s good tonight?” – Jerry
– “Poppie, I was just curious…where do you stand on the abortion issue?” – Jerry “When my mother was abducted by the Communists, she was with child…” – Poppie “Oh, boy.” – Jerry “…but the Communists, they put an end to that! So, on this issue there is no debate! And no intelligent person can think differently.” – Poppie
– “What’s this? A bottle of wine and a five-alarm chili? They’re trying to kill Poppie?!” – Poppie “Why, what…?” – Kramer “Don’t they know I have a gastro-intestinal disorder? If I would have any of this, I would die. Then Poppie’s no good to anyone! This is a sick, sick joke on Poppie. How could you be friends with those two?” – Poppie “Well, we’re not very close.” – Kramer “They owe me for those ducks. They were flown in from Newfoundland.” – Poppie “Oh, they got good ducks there, huh?” – Kramer “Oh, very good ducks.” – Poppie
– “Well, you should probably ask, because if he’s gonna be coming over with those Paccino’s pizzas…could be trouble.” – Jerry
– “Yeah, you’re right. It’s just a natural human function…happens to be on my sofa, instead of in the toilet, where it would normally be.” – Jerry
– “Well, I was going to watch it with my daughter. She likes Audrey Hepburn very much.” – Joe “She was a delicate flower.” – George
– “Oh! Nuts! Excellent! You know what I love? How there’s two nuts named after people. Hazel…and Filbert.” – George
Oddities & Fun Facts
– Patton Oswalt plays the video store clerk
– Joe Temple’s wife is played by Denise Dowse, who also portrayed Mrs. Teasley in Beverly Hills, 90210
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: Now we are cooking! This one started off a bit slow but once it kicked into gear, it never looked back. The abortion stuff was very topical and the way they tied it into the argument over the pizza was brilliant. Equally as brilliant was the Poppie peeing concept, as again, only Seinfeld could execute that as well as it was done. George was at his absolute best here, conniving and lying his way into a stranger’s home just to avoid reading a 90 page book. Definitely a borderline Hall of Fame episode and a real classic. If it came out of the gates a little faster, I probably would go the full monty. Joe! Final Grade: 9/10
Aaron: This is a tough one. The writing is brilliant but I didn’t love many of the performances. George was great but everything else felt a bit hollow. Man if Kramer had been a bit stronger and Elaine had a love interest who could keep up with her acting chops this one might be an all timer. As it stands it’s a fantastic piece of writing and a fun half hour to sit through. Final Grade: 8/10
Andrew: This is fantastic stuff. I have some minor complaints, like I wish George’s storyline had intersected with the main plot a bit more. But there’s no reason to quibble over greatness.Final Grade: 9/10
Jordan: Just a terrific episode carried by the strength of George. Jerry’s reaction to Poppie leaving a stain on his couch was bad, but the story itself is really entertaining. The abortion stuff was really well done, and Elaine being so passionate fits her character. The Temples are terrific with their contempt for George and bump this one up a bit for me. Final Grade: 9/10
Jason: I’ve been looking forward to watching this episode for quite some time. One of my personal favorites that holds up as well as I remembered. The return of Poppie, the debut of Poppie’s bladder issues, the abortion debate and George showing up to a strangers house to watch a movie because he’s too lazy to read the book version. Everything comes together so well with great writing and storylines. I’ve come to a conclusion about something in the series as well. With Jerry being so protected about every knocking a woman up in last week’s episode and Elaine’s stand on abortion last week, there’s no doubt that Jerry slipped one past Elaine and she got an abortion while they dated. This episode is a succulent as Newfoundland duck! Final Grade: 10/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jan 24, 2016 2:16:19 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Gymnast” (S6, E6)
Best Character
JT: George takes this one for me as everything with Lindsey snowballed into a mess of fantastic misunderstandings and missteps. Eating trash, cleaning windshields, shitting bare chested… he did it all and he did it with whimsy as he wined and dined Lindsey’s family. A true star performance. I also want to shoutout Jerry here as he landed some really funny zingers throughout.
Aaron: From the moment the poor man descends down the 3D rabbit hole Mr. Pitt owns this one. What we lack in sheer number of scenes we more than make up with furious outbursts, moments of unbridled hope and Adolph Hitler impressions that would make Charlie Chaplin shit his pants with jealousy. In a way Mr. Pitt represents us children who grew up on the nineties – not only have we all felt the cruel trickery of modern art but we’ve been railing against ink in all forms for nearly two decades. Plus that jockey outfit was pretty boss.
Andrew: Kramer was my favorite. He was killing me in the opening scene: “that sex’ll melt your face … you should pay that price.” And I admire his lack of respect for social mores. Watching him act out having a kidney stone isn’t bad, either.
Jordan: I really liked both George and Kramer in this one, but if I can only choose one, I’ll say Kramer. His grilling Jerry over knowledge of the kama sutra and egging him on to sleep with the gymnast was really funny. I especially like when he brings over a copy of her routine, and knows every single move she does. Add to that the kidney stone and an opportunity for the K-Man to do some great physical comedy and I’m sold.
Jason: Mr. Pitt came very close to taking it here with his obsession over the 3D poster and the huge payoff at the end with the Hilter stuff. However, it wasn’t enough to top George eating pastries out of the trash, wiping off car windshields with newspaper and popping out of the bathroom shirtless at a dinner party.
Best Storyline
JT: I will go with George’s foibles. The 3D poster stuff with Mr. Pitt was funny and had a good payoff with the Hitler stuff, but George was so strong throughout and I love how they cut back to him explaining things to Lindsey again the second time. Great writing for him in this one.
Aaron: Mr. Pitt and the fiasco of the 3D picture. When childlike curiosity morphs into a fascist dictator screaming at a room full of businessmen you know you have a winner.
Andrew: I think I liked the gymnast storyline the most. There’s something very funny about Jerry liking the idea of sex with a gymnast, but not really being able to explain why. I wish they had gotten more laughs out of that idea. And I enjoy the various discussions on how much time people are obligated to put in after a sexual encounter. But I like the idea of this storyline more than the execution.
Jordan: Tempted to go with Mr. Pitt’s descent into madness over the picture simply because of the final scene with the ink mustache, but how can I go against George here? He’s eating eclairs from the garbage, he’s sauntering out of the bathroom topless; Georgie Boy and his constant screw ups in front of Lindsey’s family was a nice episode long build. I loved the payoff with him forgetting to put his shirt on because he got hooked on the 3D poster.
Jason: As someone who has gone through kidney stones twice, I felt for Kramer during is stone saga. Mr. Pitt’s 3D art poster obsession comes close again here, but George the bum is so iconic and gets the duke from me.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: Is it OK to shit topless? Hell yes. Settle in and enjoy yourself. We get so few true pleasures in life, why not take full advantage whenever you can?
Aaron: How much time do you have to put in after a night of boring listless sex? Perhaps this speaks to the disposable nature in which we approach sexual partners in our current time but the answer is and has always been none.
Andrew: Is it OK to casually toss hot coffee into the street? No. I still can’t figure out why the hell George thought that was appropriate.
Jordan: Should Jerry really have forced Kramer to go to the circus and face his fear of clowns just because sex with the woman he was dating wasn’t off the charts? I thought this was pretty mean, and the poor guy had to pass a stone in a public bathroom. Don’t punish Kramer, maybe it’s you Jerry! Maybe YOU ARE NO COMEDIAN.
Jason: Is it ever OK to eat something from the trash? The short answer here is no. The long answer is HELL NO!
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: I didn’t care much for Katya. Jerry could have just cut her loose right away and blamed it all on local customs. I certainly don’t blame him for taking things for a test drive though. When else would he have a shot at an Olympic gymnast? I like Lindsey. I don’t care for her judgmental mother though. Relationship Grade: 4.5/10
Aaron: I guess when you really look at it Mark Antony was really just feeding off Caesar’s scraps for his entire life and his dalliance with Cleopatra was no different. The poor Egyptian queen was no doubt pained by her obvious step down trading in the man who basically ruled the world for an uncompromising brute who once demanded to own a chariot pulled by lions. No wonder the God damned Empire fell… Relationship Grade: 2/10
Andrew: I do like Katya. I think it’s the accent. It’s too bad there’s no chemistry between these two. And not much with George and Lindsay, either. Relationship Grade: I wouldn’t drink anything called “Moland”/10
Jordan: Jerry and Katya have no chemistry, but I guess that’s the point. I did think it was odd Jerry had never heard of the kama sutra, and had no idea why Kramer would be turned on by the idea of a gymnast. Just makes me think more and more that the bad sex was all Jerome’s fault. I bet Katya gave it the ol’ Olympic try. Relationship Grade 8.2, 8.1, 9.3, 8.0, 8.5/10
Jason: Lindsay is too forgiving of a person to hang on to George for this long. She should have sent him packing after the Breakfast at Tiffany’s incident from last week. Jerry was over thinking the whole situation here with Katya. Jerome blew it big time. Misha is a snotty prick, but is a better fit than Jerry for Katya’s sweet Romanian ass. Relationship Grade: Pommel Horse/10
What Worked:
JT: George still dating Lindsey was a nice touch; Kramer’s magic eye poster is so mid-90s; Kramer yelling to George in the bathroom made me laugh; George taking his shirt off to take a dump is a perfect character trait; Mr. Pitt’s eccentricities are so on point and him getting sucked in to the picture was well done; Not many people could make eating trash work as well as George Costanza; Jerry & George’s garbage debate at the coffee shop was awesome; Jerry’s dry “oh that’s gotta hurt” after Kramer explains the kidney stone; Jerry’s dig to George about eating trash vs. talking trash is an all time favorite of mine; George getting caught cleaning the windshield was nice progression; Pitt’s polo outfit is beautifully absurd, as is the fact that is horse is named Jenny; Pitt’s Hitler stache and speech is an iconic moment; The payoff to the ink and fountain pen was tremendous; Jerry’s cape callback was nicely done; The payoff to George taking his shirt off was great too
Aaron: George Costanza: homeless man was a great through line… throughout. George and Jerry repeatedly taking to the phones together was a lovely addition which only emphasized George’s hole digging skills. Kramer’s physical stuff was great, especially when his shaking sent his popcorn cascading through the air with all the grace of a young Elaine Benes. Speaking of Elaine her immediate realization that Mr. Pitt is going to get completely derailed by the picture is wonderful as is her losing her shit and getting the old man to focus. I mentioned Mr. Pitt above but the moment where he paints the Hitler (Chaplin) moustache on himself is a perfectly executed piece of physical comedy. Finally I’m a complete sucker of the shots of the circus animals reacting to Kramer’s poor screams.
Andrew: I do think Kramer was the best part of this episode. Apart from all the gymnast and kidney stone stuff, I really enjoyed him no-selling the Ceausescu reference, and I love the line about people being “a little shy, a little reticent” the first time. His and Jerry’s reaction to George’s no-shirt bathroom policy is quality. Katya has some great lines, too, especially the one about her father ranting at elephants for causing all the ills of society. Her tale of the legend of the “comedian” is one of my favorite parts. The show ends on a high note, with George walking out of the bathroom shirtless, and Mr. Pitt as Hitler. (On a side note, I somehow never caught the “annex Poland by the Spring” joke until this viewing).
Jordan: I like that Lindsey is still with George despite his shenanigans last episode, and this episode he ratchets things up 20 notches. The eclair in the garbage scene perfectly sums up George Costanza to me -something nobody would do, but he has a rationalization for why it’s OK, and everyone else is wrong. I like Elaine inadvertently ruining Mr. Pitt’s big merger by mocking the name of Moland Springs. She’s right! It is a terrible name. Mr. Pitt was awesome in this one and he’s becoming a really excellent recurring character. That moment where he THINKS he sees a space ship for a brief second was awesome, as was Elaine breaking the poster at the end and smearing him with ink. I always like when Elaine needles Jerry about his love interest at the time, here forcing him to explain WHY the idea of sex with a gymnast was so enticing. Jerry’s sheepish confession was really well done. George not even offering an excuse to Kramer and Jerry about taking off his shirt in the bathroom is even better than if he panicked and lied about it. I really enjoy that he’s totally comfortable dumping topless. I also really liked Katya telling Jerry in her country, the comedian is a sexual animal that women dream about.
Jason: George’s idea of talking to the mothers and having sex with the daughters. George’s no shirt routine while dropping a deuce unfolding. George buttering up Lindsay’s family; Ni-ni-ni-ni-NANA! Jerry telling George he’s crossed the line that divides man and bum. Elaine shutting down the Moland Spring idea; Stock swaps. Jerry telling Kramer he can really talk some trash, which is better than eating it. Kramer’s commentary while watching Katya’s Olympic routine. Jerry and Elaine thinking Kramer passed his stone after his outburst and turning out he was trying to do a reverse hecht off his couch. Jerry’s Dr. Cyclops name drop towards Kramer. Kramer’s fear of clowns and flinch when they pass him at the circus. Kramer passing his stone while Misha was on the tight rope. Elaine’s rant over Mr. Pitt’s obsession over the 3D poster. Excellent writing at the end with the ink and Mr. Pitt, plus a 3D poster in Mrs. Enright’s bathroom brought everything together perfectly.
What Didn’t Work
JT: Why can’t anyone pronounce Nana normally on this show; How did Kramer so easily obtain a tape of the 1984 summer Olympics; Why would Jerry and Elaine bound into Kramer’s apartment as he is maybe pissing out a kidney stone
Aaron: There’s some pretty painful exposition right off the top as Jerry reminds us that George is still with the chick he lied to about Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I’m also not the biggest fan of the Jerry dating the gymnast storyline. Sure it had Kramer demanding that Jerry “pay that price,” and talk of sex that will melt one’s face but the rest fell flat to me.
Andrew: I usually enjoy the episodes that tend more towards the absurd, but in this case it detracts from my enjoyment. George’s windshield washing bit feels more forced than funny, and it seems odd that he would tell his girlfriend he’s only going in to the party to use the bathroom. And for a show that has been ingenious about getting away with some edgy sex jokes, Jerry’s description of his gymnast fantasies is pretty lame.
Jordan: I have a major gripe with Kramer’s kidney stone storyline. He seemed to be in the most agony when he was actually pissing out the stone, but having had a kidney stone – that part doesn’t even hurt. It’s when the stone is working it’s way through your body that you can barely stand and break out into sweats all day long. The actual passing is pretty nonchalant. Of course, I was also on plenty of pain meds by then, so I could be wrong. I also think the episode title was a bad choice, they should have gone with “The Eclair”, or “The Topless Crapper.”
Jason: Kramer’s reaction to kidney stones was good, but in reality the pain is much worse than he made it out to be. I feel like Lindsay shouldn’t have been brought over from last week’s episode. George should have had a new fling this week. It would have worked out just as well with everything he did this time.
Key Character Debuts
N/A
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “I cannot believe Lindsay’s still seeing you after that “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” thing.” – Jerry “I think she finds my stupidity charming.” – George “As we all do.” – Jerry
– “Well, if I could talk to the mothers and have sex with the daughters, then I’d really have something goin’.” -George
– “A gymnast, Jerry. Think of the flexibility. Mmm, that sex’ll melt your face.” – Kramer
– “Boy, I tell ya’, knowing you is like going out in the jungle. I never know what I’m going to find next, and I’m real scared.” – Jerry
– “Ya’ ever dream in 3-D? It’s like the boogeyman is comin’ right at you.” – Kramer
– “George, you are such a gentleman.” – Mrs. Enright “I’d argue if I could, Mrs. Enright.” – George
– “So lemme get this straight: you find yourself in the kitchen. You see an clair, in the receptacle. And you think to yourself, “What the hell, I’ll just eat some trash.”” – Jerry
– “Well, you, my friend, have crossed the line that divides Man and Bum. You are now a Bum.” – Jerry
– “No, Lindsay, it was not IN the garbage. It was above the garbage. Hovering. Like an angel. Of course I know your aunt bit it. I kissed her goodbye. Listen, can I tell you something else? In my family, we used to eat out of the garbage all the time.” – George
– “Yes, flowers. I will get her flowers, I will go to the florist!” – George
– “Boy, you can really talk some trash. I guess that’s better than eating it.” – Jerry
– “No, Lindsay, I had accidentally spilled coffee on the gentleman’s windshield. Why would I do that? I have a job! Well, did she see a squeegee? Well, you’re not going to make a dime without a squeegee.” – George
– “My father used to take me to the circus. When the elephants came by, he would scream curses at them, blaming them for all the ills of society.” – Katya “Well, they certainly take up a lot of space.” – Jerry
– “In my country, they speak of a man so virile, so potent, that to spend a night with such a man is to enter a world of such sensual delights most women dare not dream of. This man is known as the “Comedian”. You may tell jokes, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld, but you are no Comedian.” – Katya
Oddities & Fun Facts
– Jerry references how capes are making a comeback, which is a callback to The Chinese Woman (S6, E4)
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: This one was solid, but not much more. There was some strong laughs in there, mainly centered around George’s adventures and Jerry’s one liners, but it was a pretty up and down offering. I did think the writing was pretty sharp, with everything paying off well at the end, but the journey there didn’t fully click. I wasn’t totally into Kramer’s story and Elaine felt like nothing more than a plot mover for Jerry and Mr. Pitt. The Hitler mustache is an iconic moment and Jerry and George were sharp but those things weren’t quite enough to bump this to the next level. Final Grade: 6/10
Aaron: This is another one of many episodes where I’m floored by how much they fit into each episode. I remembered the Gymnast storyline, but I had completely forgotten it was the same one as the 3D painting… and the kidney stone …and the George becoming a bum bit. I really dug this one on rewatch and Mr. Pitt slamming his hands on the podium while convincing Moland nation of their superiority is one of my favorite moments in the history of the show. Great, great episode which is hurt a little by the gymnast stuff. Final Grade: 9/10
Andrew: This is definitely an episode that fared better in my memory than on rewatch. I think it’s the syndication effect: I’d catch the ending on TV, see shirtless George, Mr. Pitt’s Hitler impersonation, and the “comedian” speech, and feel good about the episode. But the journey to get there isn’t that great, and at this point in the show’s run, that just feels unsatisfying. Final Grade: 6/10
Jordan: Peek behind the curtain for the readers here, as I’m the last one submitting my score and I feel like this episode is better than a 6, but not as good as a 9. I can’t go with a 9 because I think the Jerry and Katya story fell a little flat overall – it had potential but didn’t live up to expectations. On the flip side, George’s story was awesome. I liked that with the eclair, he was just gross and had to lie, but the second time, he was telling the truth and wasn’t, in fact, homeless and cleaning windows for money. Kramer was a solid background character her, and the Elaine/Mr. Pitt dynamic is always really good. I’m closer to a 9 than a 6. Final Grade: 8/10
Jason: George and Mr. Pitt stole the show, but everyone else kind fell in the middle. The payoff with Mr. Pitt at the end grabs a few extra points from me, but overall this episode as a whole was lacking. George eating trash is iconic, but the episode could have been better. Final Grade: 6/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jan 24, 2016 2:16:43 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Soup” (S6, E7)
Best Character
JT: Jerry and Kenny. All day. Jerry was on point and I really think this may be one of his best performances to date. He was sharp, witty and alternated between being tortured and then zinging both Elaine and George whenever possible. And Bania? What a debut. The pest, while kind of right, just tortured Jerry over that damn suit. Calling to ask about cashing in on the dinner was a real baller move.
Aaron: Throughout the course of this rewatch, I think I’ve made my views on unreasonable people quite clear. The King of unreason though seems to be Kenny Bania. What starts as a wonderful gesture quickly descends into a pissing contest where gratitude and entitlement smash their smug faces into one another until their rotted husks lay smoking by a bay of inequity.
Andrew: I liked Jerry the most. He’s really nailing the exasperated-with-everyone-around-him routine. Whether he’s ignoring George to contemplate an omelet or comparing Elaine to his Aunt Sylvia, his responses to everyone else’s nonsense really add a lot. I’m enjoying his performance a lot more on the rewatch than I would have guessed.
Jordan: Kenny Bania, Jerry! He just wants his meal. He really nails the annoying character perfectly, in that you get the characters’ reason for hating him, but you also like to laugh at him. Too often, annoying characters are actually annoying to the viewers. Kenny hits a home run.
Jason: From the second he showed up until he went fleeing after Simon at the end, Kenny Bania was a force of nature. What an enjoyable debut from this obnoxious piece of work.
Best Storyline
JT: Easily, Bania’s suit. It was a brilliantly unique storyline that was both relatable and absurd at the same time. Bania was so brazen and you could argue both were completely in the right. The main question is whether or not Bania is aware of how fucking crazy he is.
Aaron: Bania and Jerry’s war on attrition. I’m unsure if I’m using that phrase correctly but you guys know what I’m talking about.
Andrew: I love the meal storyline. Any plot that digs into frustration of social obligations is a winner for me. The story does a good job of exploring the whole idea of owing someone a meal. How much does just going out and sitting down with someone count for? Isn’t that experience the whole objective, to the point that it shouldn’t really matter what you order? All these years later, I still spend a lot of time thinking about this one.
Jordan: Kenny’s quest for a meal dominates this one. I love him springing the soup on Jerry and claiming he isn’t hungry. It’s a bold move bordering on full douche. Jerry then turning the tables by insisting his tuna sandwich is the meal is a nice response to Bania’s initial surprise attack. Everything in between just clicks with these two, and I can’t wait to see more Bania. HE’S HUGE!
Jason: Without a doubt, everything with Jerry and Kenny dominated here. Kenny weaseling his way into getting a meal from Jerry for the suit was so well done. Both characters delivered big time with excellent lines all throughout. All topped off with the payoff that had Jerry giving the suit to Simon to get Kenny off his ass about the meal.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: I feel like Hildy should have brought her own food over to Kramer’s house. I mean, she clearly visited multiple times. She knows he doesn’t have a fridge. If you are a dominant eater that needs to graze constantly, be prepared. Poor K-Man is just trying to be healthy.
Aaron: If violence was still permitted in our modern society would Bania and Simon still be alive? Simon would probably be murdered instantly. Instantly. From the moment you meet him everything about him screams Prick. He would be smashed, DDT’d and underneath a snake within minutes. Bania on the other hand walks a fine line between a welcome Santa Claus and a despised Steve Urkel-like intruder. You want what he has but are completely unwilling to pay the price to get it. Best to just take the baseball bat to his head and be done with it. Wait what’s this one about again?
Andrew: Is it OK to “save the meal for another time”? No, that’s messed up. Bania was already on thin ice by choosing the date and time himself, and now he’s decided to just have soup? Who is this guy?
Jordan: The soup as a meal debate rages on, but I’m going with this: Did Kenny have the right to demand the suit back because Jerry wasn’t grateful enough, or didn’t provide the proper food in thanks? I feel like we covered this issue in “The Cigar Store Indian” but let’s revisit it. Once you have given something away, can you demand it back? No, that makes you a…term I am unfamiliar with.
Jason: Is soup a meal? I say yes! The second you order something in a restaurant and someone else is paying for your meal, it doesn’t matter what it is, it’s a meal.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: Kelly was next level. George never stood a chance. She was a pro and he was a novice, a lamb led straight to slaughter. Relationship Grade: Horseshit/10
Aaron:Olivia clearly has many suitors to chose from but who really is best? Does she go with Orsino, the Duke of Illyria? Perhaps she should go with the very pretty little Cesario. My solid money though is on the head of her household Malvolio. He’s stern, loyal and looks great in a pair of yellow tights. Relationship Grade: 12th/10
Andrew: George screwed up what seemed like a great chance with Kelly; maybe he was overconfident because of the day date. Simon sucks, which is obviously the point, but it’s not helping the relationship score. Kramer and Hildy, on the other hand, have real some passion; any relationship that gets someone fired is a memorable one. Relationship Grade: One of those bounders/10
Jordan: Kelly really threw ol’ Georgie boy for a loop. Of course, the big question is did she have a boyfriend or not? I have to assume she did. She was nice looking, had a good personality, and was striving to be successful in life. People like that don’t stay available for long. TRUST ME, I AM ONE. But I have to hand it to her, she went to great lengths to make George a happy customer. Anything for those precious tip dollars. Relationship Grade: 20%/10
Jason: Kelly was playing George all along. She knew how to play the flirty waitress game in order to get good tips and returning customers. Kramer’s fear of Hildy when she’s hungry was quite enjoyable. Simon and Laney were doomed from the second he landed in the states. He ranks towards the bottom of Elaine’s boy toys. What a pile of British crap. Relationship Grade: Swordfish/10
What Worked:
JT: Kelly may be the best flirter we have seen so far; I enjoy George not knowing Elaine was in England; Kenny. Bania.; Those Monk’s sandwiches looked damn tasty; Jerry’s “she’s not putting them on the glass” line was fantastic; I love that Bania refers to himself as KB; Bania’s everything when he delivers the suit is top notch; Kelly is a fucking pro, working in the boyfriend line like a champ; Jerry dissecting George’s date foibles was a good scene; Mendy’s!; Kenny calling Jerry to ask about the dinner is so great, as is their first dinner date and Bania’s soup ordering; Jerry getting the salmon to avoid ever agreeing with Bania in any way; Jerry and Elaine breaking down the meal is what Seinfeld is all about; George and Jerry sliding in the booth to block Bania; Jerry’s growing frustration in his war with Bania was well executed on the phone; Hildy is a brilliantly casted hoss; The callback to the big salad is awesome; The scene in Reggie’s is so relatable, the torture you suffer outside of your favorite restaurant; George instantly picking up the phone when Kramer gives him the idea of how to get Kelly fired
Aaron: I love that Jerry immediately sees the consequence of taking the suit from Bania. Elaine has two great little moments: the first is how she over pronounces PITT when she’s reminding George where she was for the last five days. The other is her absolute conviction when she declares Simon to be “one of those bounders.” They’re both small moments but great little snapshots of how great an actress she is. Poor starving Kramer is also consistently entertaining. One last little thing: I love how we get a scene where Jerry counsels George for his problems juxtaposed with Elaine helping out Jerry with his. They both take the time to break down very mundane social situations and is a great little capsule of what the show is all about.
Andrew: Jerry’s omelet obsession … Kenny Bania is instantly perfect at being annoying … “Yeah, I’m huge” … Jerry with a Sir Mix-a-Lot reference: “She’s not gonna put them on the glass” … Calling an audible is a good dating metaphor, and Jerry shooting down George’s “manure” bit is pretty great … Jerry taking a hard line on the meal … Hilde demanding food … The Big Salad callback … Jerry and George’s wordless plan to get Kelly fired, and the plan backfiring … “One of those bounders”.
Jordan: For starters, Bania debuts with a big home run. I’ve hyped him enough, so let’s talk about the other great guest here: Kelly! Wish she became a regular that just toyed with George’s emotions, flirting with him, but never actually being interested in him. She really nailed every scene she was in. George’s manure talk while on a date is great, and him stepping in it as he finds out she has a boyfriend is a nice touch. Jerry being completely unaffected by everyone else’s plights is nothing new, but he really stepped it up a notch. I liked him completely ignoring George’s complaints as he laments not getting an omelet. The debate about what constitutes a dinner with Elaine and Jerry was a perfect Seinfeld scene, with Elaine citing several soups that would qualify, then raising the issue of cracker usage. I really enjoyed the gang going to Reggie’s and totally hating everything about it. Kramer’s decision to go without a refrigerator was an underrated storyline that didn’t go too far. I loved Elaine’s increasing hatred for Simon throughout the episode and the ending with Bania chasing him down for his suit worked well.
Jason: Kenny’s I’M HUGE line. Jerry’s line about Kelly not putting them on the glass, when he talks George into asking Kelly out. Kramer getting rid of his refrigerator after getting kidney stones. Elaine and Simon’s “What” vs “Pardon” exchange worked well as it was the beginning of their downfall. Jerry’s suggestion that Kelly called an audible after she didn’t like what George brought to the line of scrimmage. Everything at Reggie’s was fantastic; no egg white omelettes, big salads or decaf. Kenny suggesting the swordfish to Jerry and Jerry getting the salmon instead. Kenny eating a hot dog before he and Jerry got to Mendy’s. STOCK UP, BUDDY BOY! Kenny’s constant guilt trips he feeds Jerry about what an actual meal is. Jerry and Elaine’s toast to each other after they get rid of Simon and Kenny. George eating alone at Reggie’s to close the episode.
What Didn’t Work
JT: Simon is a prick, a very unlikeable limey prick
Aaron: I’m always loathed the MA NEWER bit. Loathed. As a consequence I’m not really a fan of the entire George odyssey.
Andrew: Is Elaine wearing crucifix earrings? Seems like that causes some continuity issues for the Jesus Fish episode.
Jordan: I am not a Hildy fan at all. I liked the original idea of Kramer dumping his fridge, but the payoff of getting a girlfriend who really wants food was lame. I was hoping he started growing his own food in the apartment or something.
Jason: If Kramer got Hildy fired from Reggie’s for calling up there too many times, why does she continue to date him? Funny how Hildy and Kelly know each other, although they work at different places. Do all waitresses know each other?
Key Character Debuts
Kenny Bania
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “Great. I’ve been working out. Went from a size 40, to a 42.” – Kenny “No kidding.” – Jerry “Yeah, I’m huge.” – Kenny
– “Well, go in there and talk to her. She’s not going to put them on glass.” – Jerry
– “Well after that Kidney Stone I only want fresh food. It’s gotta be fresh. I’m not eating any more stored food. Plus you know I want the space.” – Kramer “Well, what for?” – Jerry “Well I could put a, dresser in there. I could get dressed while I’m making breakfast.” – Kramer
– “Yeah, that’s a deal. That’s a horrible deal. I don’t want to go out to dinner with him. I’d rather make my own suit.” – Jerry
– “I love the day date. No wine, No shower.” – Jerry
– “Oh. It’s just horse manure. Horse manure’s not that bad. I don’t even mind the word “manure.” You know, it’s, it’s “nure,” which is good. and a “ma” in front of it. MA-NURE. When you consider the other choices, “manure” is actually pretty refreshing.” – George
– “You know there is always the possibility, that she called an audible.” – Jerry “What do you mean?” – George “Well she got up to the line of scrimmage, didn’t like the looks of the defense and changed the play.” – Jerry
– “Ahh, no, no, no. You got me all wrong buddy. I am loving this no refrigerator. You know what I discovered? I really like depriving myself of things. It’s fun. Very monastic.” – Kramer “Well what do you eat?” – George “It’s all fresh. Fresh fish, fresh foul, fresh fruit. I buy it, I omniga nominga, I eat it.” – Kramer
– “You know, I was thinking if you’re not busy, maybe I could get my meal today?” – Kenny
– “You work out with weights?” – Kenny “No I don’t.” – Jerry “You should.” – Kenny “Why?” – Bania
– “Well, that’s not really a meal Jerry. I mean if he had gotten Chicken Gumbo, or Matzah Ball, or Mushroom Barley. Then I would agree with you. Those are very hardy soups.” – Elaine
– “You worn the suit yet?” – Kenny “Actually, I did. I put it on last night and slept in it.” – Jerry
– “Hello? No, I’m sorry Bania … I’m not going over this again. Well who told you to order soup? … No! There’s no dinner. There’s not going to be any dinner. You’ve had a sandwich and 2 bowls of soup and that’s it. Good-bye.” – Jerry
– “It’s not for me. It’s for Hildy — the waitress I was telling you about. She’s hungry, she wants food. If I go back in there without any food … there’s gonna be trouble.” – Kramer
– “There’s no “Big Salad.”” – Elaine “They’ll make you a “Big Salad.” What do you think, they’re the only one’s that make a “Big Salad”?” – George
– “So what! Have a yoke. It won’t kill you.” – George
– “HEY! Yeah. I got a message for you. You tell your friend George, that the next time I see him around here, I’m going to turn him into my Own, Personal, Hand-Puppet.” – Manager
Oddities & Fun Facts
– Reggie’s diner is the same set as the diner Jerry and Elaine visited in “The Bubble Boy” (S4, E7)
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: This episode has always held a special place in my heart. I first discovered Seinfeld late in season six and immediately began taping the episodes. This is one of the first I recorded during the summer reruns and thus was in a prominent slot on “Seinfeld 1”. So I have seen it many, many times. Objectively, it certainly is missing a little something to kick up to a top box grade. It was really good though and the dance between Kenny and Jerry was phenomenal. It was clear that Bania needed to be a recurring visitor to our fantastic world. The other stories were good enough even though nothing really popped. But they all just existed as window dressing for the deadlifting, suit gifting, meal grifting son of a bitch Kenny Bania. What a guy. Final Grade: 7/10
Aaron: This one was pretty good. Far from the best but far from the worst. It’s memorable for Banya, and he’s great, but the rest falls a little flat for me. Still a very decent way to spend a half hour. Final Grade: 7/10
Andrew: Jerry owing Bania “a meal”, and the subsequent negotiations over what that means, will always be one of my favorite storylines. It’s just a simple, unique, and brilliant idea. The rest of the episode is solid, but the soup stuff takes it to another level for me. Final Grade: 8/10
Jordan: This one moves pretty quick and is a lot of fun. I would like to have seen Mr. Pitt and Elaine in England more than Simon in the US, though. I also thought Kramer’s story was a dud with Hildy. To contrast those misses, we had the great dinner debate and George’s quest to get Kelly fired. This feels like a solid 7 for me, but…BANIA! HE’S HUGE! Final Grade: 8/10
Jason: This was pure domination for Jerry and Kenny for twenty-three minutes. I wasn’t a big fan of the subplots involving Elaine & Simon and George & Kelly, but in the end it all tied together and the result made for another above average showing in this season. Final Grade: 7/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jan 24, 2016 2:17:12 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Mom & Pop Store” (S6, E8)
Best Character
JT: I will go with Jerome here. He was a real asshole to George, taking delight in his foibles over Voight’s car. But, for once, it all caught up to Jerry and he ended up being the jackass in the end. His cowboy boots, mockery of George, spelling names wrong, and destroying a beloved holiday tradition were all very well executed. EVERYBODY’S TALKIN’ AT ME!
Aaron: This is the rarest of episodes for me. Much like the appearance of a unicorn or a black astronaut it’s extremely rare that I enjoy Jerry the most of the bunch. When it came right down to it he gave me two solid laughs; first as he outright laughs in George’s face when they’re driving in Voight’s care and second when he declares, “No it’s stupid, ” in the face of the arm/pencil matching game. Throw in him sneaking around the party mumbling “Dentist?” and the driest Woody Woodpecker laugh in the history of television and he squeaks this one out.
Andrew: I think it’s Gerri. You just can’t beat the glee with which he openly mocks George in his own car (“Sometimes I spell Jerry with a G … and an i!”). I also like that his idea of surreptitiously finding someone to look at this tooth is to just walk around whispering “dentist” at people.
Jordan: I’m going with Jerry. This may sound odd, the cowboy boots sealed it for me. I am a sucker for Jerry ripping on George, and the Jon Voight car was perfect material for him. Throw in his sneaking into Tim’s party, snooping around locking for a dentist, and breaking the Woody Woodpecker balloon, and this episode belonged to Gerome.
Jason: There’s no way in hell I can choose one person here. The entire freakin’ cast takes it! The core four were all on their A Game. Mom & Pop heading for the hills and selling Jerry’s sneakers at a garage sale was fantastic. Jon Voight biting the K-Man is so iconic and Tim Whatley nailed it in his debut.
Best Storyline
JT: The Jon Voight Car. It had it all, including George desperately trying to trick the Yankees into celebrating Jon Voight Day just so he can ask about his car. A true mastermind. And it all paid off in the end. I DON’T HEAR A WORD THEY’RE SAYIN!
Aaron: It’s short but I’m a big fan of Mr. Pitt’s quest to take part in the parade. Seeing the dignified Pitt in peril is always fantastic, and as he struggled to maintain his sanity while griping a giant balloon my heart filled with a glee usually reserved for punishing insects.
Andrew: I like the car storyline the most. George’s vanity wins out over research in his car choice, and when his decision is questioned, he goes overboard trying to prove he wasn’t foolish to believe a used car salesman. Throw in Jon Voight biting Kramer, and that’s an excellent storyline.
Jordan: I feel like it could have been the Mom and Pop Store, but we didn’t quite get enough. On the other side of things, the Jon Voight car stuff was everywhere, and it all delivered. Easy choice for me.
Jason: Everything with George’s car takes it here. His excitement over the LeBaron being Jon Voight’s. Matching the pencil teeth marks up with teeth marks from getting bit. All topped off with the car belonging to John Voight the Periodonist. Brilliant writing all around with everything tying in perfectly.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: Should Mr. Pitt have allowed his children some enjoyment? Any? I understand he was upper crust at a time when that meant you had to blow your nose on the poor, but still. He could have built his own Woody Woodpecker balloon and allowed his poor son to ride on it or something. Live a little! ONLY THE ECHOES OF MY MIND!
Aaron: Who would win a fist fight between Liam Neeson and Jon Voight? I think at the time this thing was filmed you’d have to go with Voight, almost on Deliverance alone. The years have been kind though to Neeson’s tough guy image. Let’s face reality here: Taken was a game changer. Under no circumstances would you want to fight the Taken guy. In fact if I had the choice between fighting that guy (whose name I’m too lazy to look up) and getting raped by anyone from Deliverance I’m probably taking the rape. Bryan Mills would laugh off any attack that Voight could possibly throw at him all the while maintaining a steely expression that would make James Bond erect with envy.
Andrew: What’s the right way to have a conversation when you can’t hear? Asking someone to repeat something more than once is far too nerve-wracking, and the episode makes a pretty good argument that just trying to guess what people are saying is a bad idea. I guess all you can do is explain the situation and ask people to write things down. This is yet another reason texting makes life so much easier.
Jordan: Should mom and pop have sold Jerry’s shoes at a garage sale? No, they are greedy, soulless monsters.
Jason: Is it Ok to ask for someone’s address from another person and not invite that person to your party? Sure is! Should you try and sell something and beef up the value because it belonged to a celebrity? Absolutley!
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: Jerry and Elaine. It is meant to be. If only she had moved her chair to a different table, they would be married right now. PEOPLE STOP AND STARE! Relationship Grade: Honeysuckle Jump/10
Aaron: I want to believe in my heart when I see two dogs together that they’re husband and wife and will never get divorced. Relationship Grade: 10/10
Andrew: Elaine and Tim didn’t even make it to the first date; that’s got to be some kind of record for shortest relationship. Just tell him you can’t hear! Relationship Grade: Look at me, I’m fallin’ apart here/10
Jordan: Mom and Pop are madly in love… WITH COLD HARD CASH!!! These two money hungry vultures are made for each other. Relationship Grade: $$$/10
Jason: Poor Tim Whatley got cock blocked big time. He’s interested in Elaine and she couldn’t hear a damn word he was saying. What was Tim’s beef with Jerry? The K-Man trying to help out Mom & Pop by bringing them Jerry’s sneakers was a nice gesture. Relationship Grade: 48 Years/10
What Worked:
JT: George being hoodwinked into Jon Voight’s Lebaron and then defending it to Jerry and Elaine; I like how Jerry’s main concern with dating a dentist is about a critique of brushing technique; I enjoy how Kramer will jam a dig at Jerry whenever he is around other people; Pitt making Elaine pick the salt of his pretzels is so good and I also love how pumped he gets about the parade contest and then Elaine telling him to shutup so she can hear the song; George singing “Everybody’s Talkin” with remade lyrics; The electrician’s delivery and cadence always makes me laugh; Poor Kramer, just trying to help Mom & Pop and he gets hosed; Jerry and George’s showdown in the car is one of my favorite all time scenes, especially Jerry’s “With a G…and an I!”; Also, the street toughs calling Jerry “cowboy”; Jerry trying to decipher the emphasis from Whatley is a classic line both times around; I love the scene where Kramer explains Mom & Pop’s scheme to Elaine and she blows it out of the water; The crew at the deli is something else; Kramer, bloodied, accosting Jon Voight and getting bit; I love Kramer and George’s celebration when Whatley says he knows Voight; The Woody Woodpecker running gag at the party was pretty good and it was funny seeing Jerry be the fool for once, crashing a party and then destroying a beloved balloon; ARVID ENGEN!; The closing scene is tremendous; I CAN’T SEE THEIR FACES!
Aaron: I found this one a little light on the great individual moments but the writing was extremely tight. Every single second moved the story forward in a believable and plausible way. No wasted words or motion here, just slick, slick writing. I am always a fan of when the gang breaks down some sort of social norm or faux pas so when they begin to discuss the rules of being invited to a party my ears perked up a little. Elaine sitting down with the big band nerds was great as you know these people exist and are just waiting to be murdered. Elaine’s analysis of Kramer and Jerry’s Mom and Pop conspiracy is wonderfully delivered in a way that only she can. Finally few things make me smile as much as an impassioned Mr. Pitt childishly accepting a request that he “shut up,” before gleefully dancing around his office.
Andrew: George trying to justify his new convertible by driving with the top down in November … All the discussion of which word is emphasized … Elaine’s sarcastically laying out Mom and Pop’s long con … The instigator/troublemaker conversation … Jerry and Kramer riding out to dispense street justice on Mom and Pop … and I enjoyed the Midnight Cowboy references.
Jordan: George getting talked into an 89 LeBaron because of Jon Voight is legendary. I like Jerry being confused about if he is invited to the party or not, and him sneaking around is funny. Jon Voight biting Kramer seemed excessive, but also worked. I like to think if I ever get famous, I will bite anyone who comes near me. Mr. Pitt’s “Next Stop, Pottersville” dance celebration was good, as was Elaine sitting with the band geeks. I enjoyed them scoffing at her guessing an easy one. Kramer’s bloody nose causing a family business to close up shop was a nice twist. I love Jerry spotting Gregory Peck’s bicycle, and getting mocked for wearing cowboy boots was a good visual as he tries to run away.
Jason: Elaine’s joy dance when she finds out Tim invited her to his party. Jerry’s bit about why dating a dentist isn’t good; Away from the gums… Kramer calling George “Bogambo” and Jerry, Elaine & George “yuppies”; Jerry’s reaction to George getting the LeBaron; WHAT CONSUMER? I’M THE CONSUMER!; Kramer telling Mom & Pop that Jerry has Peter Pan complex; THIS PLACE COULD BLOW ANY MINUTE!; Mr. Pitt making Elaine take the salt off of his pretzels; Mr. Pitt’s rant about how his father prohibited him to participate in an activities associated with the common man; NEXT STOP POTTERSVILLE! NEXT STOP POTTERSVILLE!; Jerry rocking the cowboy boots is one of my favorite moments from the entire series; I DON’T WANNA BE A COWBOY; Jerry giving George shit when he finds the car paperwork shows the previous owner was John Voight and not Jon Voight; JERRY WITH A “G” AND AN “I”; “Everybody’s talkin’ at me…I can’t hear a word they’re sayin’…just drivin’ around in Jon Voight’s car…”; The street toughs crapping on Jerry’s boots; HEY COWBOY, WHERE’S YOUR HORSE?; Mom & Pop shutting down shop; MOM & POP AREN’T EVEN A MOM & POP?; Everything with the word emphasizing was excellent; George suggesting Jon Voight Day at Yankee Stadium; Kramer getting bit by Jon Voight and trying to match up the pencil marks with the mark on Kramer’s arm; Some great warbrode going on here; Kramer’s phenomenal trench coat and contest winner at the Dixieland Deli with the Member’s Only jacket; Jerry quietly asking party guests if they’re a dentist; Whatley putting the pencil in his mouth, ruining the teeth marks; The payoff with Whatley saying George’s car belonged to a periodontist and not the actor; Jerry bumping Elaine’s trophy off the window ledge and popping Woody Woodpecker; The Mignight Cowboy parody at the end was absolutely perfect!
What Didn’t Work
JT: Why would Tim call Jerry for George and Elaine’s addresses when he wasn’t planning on inviting Jerry? Douche move; The dubbed in Woody Woodpecker laugh from Elaine always bothered me; Why wouldn’t Elaine move her seat at the deli as opposed to going deaf?; Why are mom & pop having a yard sale on Thanksgiving morning?; ONLY THE SHADOWS OF THEIR EYES!
Aaron: There was nothing I didn’t like per se.
Andrew: This never bothered me before, but: Tim Whatley has an apartment overlooking the spot where they inflate the Thanksgiving parade balloons, and has a party the night before to … watch the inflation I guess? And Woody gets punctured the night before, then collapses on Mr. Pitt the next day? Seems like a lot of setup for a so-so joke.
Jordan: I actually didn’t get the reference at the end, with Kramer and Jerry on the bus. Other than that, not much.
Jason: Nothing this time around. NEXT!
Key Character Debuts
Tim Whatley
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “You bought a car because it belonged to Jon Voight?” – Jerry “No, no…” – George “I think yes, yes. You like the idea of telling people you’re driving Jon Voight’s car.” – Jerry “Alright, maybe I do. So what.” – George “I’ve never even seen him in a car. I mean, look at his movies. No cars. Deliverance – canoe. Midnight Cowboy – boots. Runaway Train…runaway train.” – Elaine
– “Yeah, of course you do. And do you know why? Because you’re a bunch of yuppies. It’s your go-go corporate takeover lifestyles that are driving out these Mom and Pop stores and destroying the fabric of this neighborhood.” – Kramer “Well, what’s so great about a Mom and Pop store? Let me tell you something. If my Mom and Pop ran a store, I wouldn’t shop there.” – George “Hey, Bogambo – they’ve been in the neighborhood for 48 years. Now, come on, Jerry. You’ve gotta have a pair of shoes in need of a cobblin.'” – Kramer “I really don’t wear the kind of shoes that have to be cobbled.” – Jerry
– Kramer first uses the nickname “Bogambo”
– “So many sneakers!” – Mom “Well, he’s got a Peter Pan complex.” – Kramer
– “My father was a stern man. He forbad us to participate in any activities that he thought were associated with the common man. The Thanksgiving Day Parade was first on the list.” – Mr. Pitt
– ” Next Stop Pottersville, Next Stop Pottersville! You are a genius!” – Mr. Pitt
– “Everybody’s talkin’ at me…I can’t hear a word they’re sayin’…just drivin’ around in Jon Voight’s car…” – George
– “Except Jon is spelled with an H. J-O-H-N.” – Jerry “So?” – George “Doesn’t Jon Voight spell his name J-O-N?” – Jerry “So, what are you saying?” – George “Nothing. I’m sure “Jon” probably mispelled his own name. I know sometimes I spell Jerry with a G…and an I!” – Jerry “Get out of the car!” – George “What?” – Jerry “That’s right, you heard me. Get out! You are ruining this whole experience for me!” – George “Oh, look! There’s Gregory Peck’s bicycle!” – Jerry “Get out!” – George “And Barbara Mandrell’s skateboard!” – Jerry
– “How would you find out something like that…wait a minute, what am I thinking? I’ve got the entire Yankee organization at my disposal.” – Elaine “He’ll dispose of it.” – Jerry
– “I’m afraid so. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve been asking around – they didn’t even have any kids.” – Kramer “Mom and Pop aren’t even a Mom and Pop?!” – Jerry “It was all an act, Jerry. They conned us, and they scored, big time.” – Kramer “So. Mom and Pop’s plan was to move into the neighborhood…establish trust…for 48 years. And then, run off with Jerry’s sneakers.” – Elaine “Apparently.” – Kramer
– ” Jerry, for all I know this guy went out of his way to not invite you. How am I gonna feel if I show up with an uninvited, unwelcome intruder?” – George “The way I feel when I go places with you?” – Jerry
– “So you’re gonna show up at that party with a chewed-up pencil and Kramer’s gnarled arm.” – Jerry
– “Are you the one who bought his LeBaron convertible?” – Tim “Yes! Yes, I’m the one! Hey! So, you know Jon Voight!” – George “Yes! Yes, I went to dental school with him.” – Tim “Jon Voight, the actor?” – George “No. The periodontist.” – Tim
Oddities & Fun Facts
– Bryan Cranston portrays Tim Whatley, DDS
– Jon Voight portrays himself
– This was a timely topic as the battle between mega stores and local mom & pop shops was raging throughout the decade
– When George sings the song about his car, he sings to the tune of “Everybody’s Talkin'”, which was sung by Harry Nilsson for Midnight Cowboy, a movie staring Jon Voight
– Jerry calls Elaine “Lois” after her investigative work, a reference to Superman’s Lois Lane
– The gentleman who calls Jerry about finding his sneakers was portrayed by Dan Frischman, who also played Arvid Engen in Head of the Class
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: This episode has my heart I have seen it so many times and it completely holds up. Jon Voight’s car! Only Costanza would go through those lengths to prove he wasn’t duped and that moment of pure elation from he and Kramer before the dreams were dashed made it all worth it. I dug Jerry getting clowned as well as Elaine being a savant of dixieland music. And of course, we get the big debut of Tim Whatley plus a cameo from Arvid. I also fully believe that Mom & Pop scammed the K-Man. Who else holds a hastily organized yard sale on Thanksgiving morning in Parsippany? This isn’t quite a pantheon episode, but it has enough for me to push it quite close as it is one of my all time faves and a highlight of the season. I’M GOIN WHERE THE SUN KEEPS SHININ, THROUGH THE POURIN RAIN! Final Grade: 9/10
Aaron: This is a hard one to rank. Like I mentioned there was nothing I didn’t like but there wasn’t a ton that I really loved either. I was expecting to enjoy George a lot more on this rewatch but lately he’s fallen short for me. This is a good episode that while memorable for Jon Voight and the excellence of Bryan Cranston’s debut feels a little empty when compared to what’s around it. Final Grade: 7/10
Andrew: I didn’t enjoy the plot of this episode as much as I remembered; it seems like there’s more setup than payoff to a lot of the storylines. But I really enjoy the dialogue, especially throwaway stuff like George calling Woody Woodpecker an “instigator”. It’s a good sign that we’re at the point in the series where episodes can get by on the strength of the characters alone, but I do wish the writing had been better in a few places. Final Grade: 8/10
Jordan: Man, this one just flew by. Nothing dragged and a couple of the stories came together in classic Seinfeld fashion. I didn’t love the mom and pop storyline, but it didnt drag anything down. I am feeling generous as I write this on Paul Rudd’s old laptop! Final Grade: 10/10
Jason: I’ve been waiting to watch this episode for this column and damn it, it holds up as good as the first time I watched it 20 years ago. Perfect writing, a great debut by Tim Whatley and a memorable cameo from Jon Voight. The entire episode tied together excellent. This was great timing as we are right around the corner from Thanksgiving. What am I thankful for? This episode! Quite possibly a top ten episode in the series. Final Grade: 10/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jan 24, 2016 2:17:48 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Secretary” (S6, E9)
Best Character
JT: I really enjoyed Jerry and Kramer but I think I am actually going to go with Big Kenny Bania. He was only in a few scenes but he slayed them all yet again. His delivery is so damn perfect and his obsession with wanting to dine with Jerry is so endearing. YOUR NANCY BOY CREAM!
Aaron: Do you go with the guy who can’t go three days without harassing or banging his secretary? Or do you go with a man so naive and innocent that he ends up naked and scaling the walls of a women’s changing room? It’s a tough choice. Like choosing which of my cats to eat. I guess “I’m giving you a raise,” is more iconic so let’s go with George.
Andrew: I liked Kramer the most. He has some of the best lines, including his reaction to Elaine returning the dress (“Good idea”), and his justification for using the women’s dressing room (“There’s nothing in there that I haven’t seen before”). But more importantly, I like his impromptu decision to sell Bania the clothes off his back. A man stranding himself nude in the women’s dressing room with no prearranged plan to get clothes would be a really annoying plot point for any other character, but it works for Kramer, and that counts for something.
Jordan: I was dead set on George, but man did Kramer make a nice push at the end, selling his suit to Bania without an exit strategy. It was a nice effort to catch up, but ultimately not enough-George wins this one with the secretary story. His motives were pure and noble, but his mind is wretched and disgusting. He sleeps with the secretary anyway, and then flips over her getting paid more than he does. He’s really running the gambit of emotions this week.
Jason: The K-Man gets the duke from me this week. The return of his Kavorka in getting Uma Thurman’s number. His negotiation with Bania about selling his pimp suit. All topped off with the pay off at the end with him walking down the street in Helen’s fur coat with no pants.
Best Storyline
JT: I will go with the dry cleaner stuff since the storyline concept was really pretty inspired. Plus the payoff at the end when Jerry yanks the coat off that fat hot dog munching wife of Willie.
Aaron: Since I went with George above I’ll go with “Kramer strands himself by selling the clothing off his back.” Imagine you’re poor Elaine, jamming herself into a plethora of overpriced dresses while seeing a tall naked man attempting to make his way over the partition. Imagine you’re Jerry, trying to make sense of the absurdity of it all.
Andrew: I think it’s the dry cleaner storyline. It’s not a classic, but it covers some of the best parts of the episode, and the idea of a dry cleaner borrowing his customer’s clothes is pretty ingenious.
Jordan: I’ll throw a sympathy vote to Elaine’s battle against Barney’s mirrors that are laced with lies. I actually thought every story this time around was fun, and am fine with picking basically anything here. So why Elaine? She looked truly ridiculous in that first dress.
Jason: Easily Wille and Donna wearing customers dry cleaning out in public.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: Should you hire a secretary that is ugly so you won’t have sex with her? If you are single? Hell no! Georgie Boy only needed to pull that stunt if he was trying to protect himself while in a relationship. But he is always looking to score and this was a potential way to land a hot tomato. Of course, the odds of him nailing someone like Ada are much higher than any of the other candidates that his strategy may have paid off in the end anyway.
Aaron: Is moisturizer girl’s stuff? I can’t believe that in a our gender neutral word this little piece of dialogue hasn’t permanently been stricken from the DVD. How dare they? How dare Elaine shame Kramer for having the good sense to moisturize his hands. Every single person who collaborated on this script should be shot in the face with some kind of experimental fish gun.
Andrew: So everything said in the throes of passion is a verbal contract? That sounds like a terrible idea. You’ve got to play that off as a joke, George.
Jordan: If you are walking out of the movies and there is a large line, should you openly discuss the major twist and ending? No. You’re a monster if you do that. Elaine deserves every ugly dress she buys!
Jason: Is it right for a dry cleaner to wear their customers clothes out in public? HELL NO!
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: The tension between Jerome and Bania continues here as Kenny is still trying his best to woo Jerry via nice dates at fancy restaurants. Jerry is wavering a bit but still adamant about not going to the next level. Relationship Grade: 2 (Mendys)/10
Aaron:Ted Danson and Mary Steenbergen really seem to have stumbled on something that works. Relationship Grade: 10/10
Andrew: I love the chemistry between Ada and George. Even the classic “put glasses on a woman to make her unattractive” trope couldn’t keep them apart. Relationship Grade: It’s definitely doable/10
Jordan: Bania. Uma. Uma. Bania. Unlike that scumbag Jerry, the wonderful Ms. Thurman probably enjoyed the swordfish and laughed so hard ovaltine came out of her nose. Relationship Grade: Their couple name is Umia/10
Jason: George’s plan of hiring the less than attractive Ada blowing up in his face was brilliant. He thought he’d be able to focus more by hiring her, that is until he realized she was doable. Relationship Grade: $2.25/10
What Worked:
JT: George referring to a hot woman as a “tomato” made me laugh; I also loved George’s brutal honesty during the job interviews; The Demi pronunciation conversation was good; Kramer’s “good idea” was awesome; George falling for Ada after rejecting the tomatoes was a nice twist; Elaine spoiling the movie outside the theatre was awesome; Kramer meeting Uma Thurman is so random; “I’m giving you a raise!” was fantastic as was Jerry questioning his authorization; Jerry’s “it’s almost a week” in response to George saying Ada worked there for three days; A dry cleaner wearing people’s clothes is a pretty damn good idea for a story; Kenny Bania returning and immediately getting back into the suit game was awesome and his negotiating with the K-Man was well done; Kramer selling the suit he was wearing with no backup plan is perfect booking; The random guy telling Elaine she could never pull the dress off; Bania continues to kill it throughout the whole episode; Mendy’s; Jerry stealing back his mother’s coat and Kramer wearing it on the street and then Bania getting the date with Uma was a nice payoff to everything
Aaron: I’m unsure why I find George saying, “I could go the tomato route,” when discussing hiring a hot secretary funny, but I do. All of Kramer and George is completely wonderful here, but a special distinction should be given to George blatantly telling women they can’t have the job due to their beauty. Elaine’s fall from sanctimoniously declaring “That’s preposterous,” to sheepishly admitting she stained the dress and crying is perfect Benes. As soon as Kenny Bania entered the scene I knew we were in for some unreason and I was not disappointed. He basically is the textbook definition of “What the fuck’s wrong with this guy?” Above all else the final shot of Kramer strutting down the street wearing nothing but a fur coat over his socks and shoes is a true thing of beauty.
Andrew: The best part of this episode is Larry David’s Steinbrenner impression, which is one of my all-time favorite things. George is great in those scenes as well, with his slow, tentative walk toward the desk when asking for a favor, and the defeated arm gestures when he realizes he’s not getting what he wants. The boss-secretary flirting is off the charts, too, and the sex scene is pretty funny. I imagine the writers chose Uma Thurman as Kramer’s love interest just to give him the opportunity to say her name in a funny way, and I thank them for it. The return of Bania is also really good, and I enjoy all the callbacks to his last appearance.
Jordan: As I said earlier, I enjoyed everyone’s storyline this time around. Jerry’s suspicion of his dry cleaner wearing his clothes was completely warranted, and I like that he busted both of them. Kramer selling his suit to Bania then not taking it back because it was covered in moisturizer was fitting for his character. The moisturizer ruined the very pants he was trying to buy back! Elaine buying dresses that made her look gorgeous in the store only to look like a frumpy weirdo outside was good, and I liked her defeated admission to the employee when she was caught with salt stains. And of course, George hires an uggo (who isn’t really ugly at all, especially compared to George!) and can’t go three days without having sex with her. Beyond that, I loved Steinbrenner and Bania as always, and I got a big kick out of the dry cleaner’s wife wolfing down a hot dog in Helen’s fur coat.
Jason: George’s line about Elaine’s arms looking like something hanging in a Kosher deli. Barney’s using skinny mirrors to make people look better in their clothes. Jerry seeing Wille walking into the movies with his jacket on. Ada shouting out instructions to George on how to undress her; I’M GIVING YOU A RAISE! The return of Big Stein. Jerry telling George that he’s so grateful to have sex that he’ll shout anything out. Jerry suggesting that George have sex with Ada again to tell her she can’t get the raise. Jerry finding Wille’s movie stub in the jacket pocket. Jerry confronting Wille about the stub; SEEN ANY GOOD MOVIES LATELY, WILLE?!?! Kramer’s amazing polka dot shirt; WAIT ‘TIL THAT UMA SMELLS THIS UVA. Bania hitting up Barney’s to find a new suit was an excellent reference to the ending of “The Soup”. Elaine getting caught wearing the Calvin Klein dress outside. Bania wanting his money back because Kramer’s “Nancy-boy cream leaked all over the pockets.” Jerry negotiating with Bania to get the dry cleaning ticket back; YOU WANT TO GO TO MENDY’S, I’LL TAKE YOU TO MENDY’S! Bania with the balls to ask Jerry to go to Mendy’s twice. Jerry catching Donna in his mother’s fur coat. Jerry’s bickering at Bania at Mendy’s about going to another place for their second meal.
What Didn’t Work
JT: What happened to Jerry’s old dry cleaner?; I hate the way Ada talks and pronounces Costanza; The Barney’s saleslady is a real piece of work
Aaron: What’s with the bitchy staff and customers at the department store? Elaine’s dress, funky mirrors or no, is a war crime. It looks like a paper cut up snowflake that a child makes in kindergarten.
Andrew: There’s not much payoff to George’s storyline; his final scene with Steinbrenner is great, but it doesn’t bring much conclusion to anything. The payoff with Bania getting Uma’s number is pretty weak, too. He memorizes phone numbers from random slips of paper and just calls them? I guess I admire the gumption, but that’s not great plot-wise. And what’s with Jerry’s hatred of menu specials? Specials are great.
Jordan: Once again, it’s weird that George Costanza is supposed to be a character who is unlucky with women, yet continually sleeps with them and they are almost always out of his league. It was funny, but I wonder if her rejecting him would have played out better. It’s also odd when we don’t have any scenes at Monk’s.
Jason: Donna shoving a hot dog down her fat throat while wearing Helen’s fur coat. Shouldn’t Barney’s have security tags on all of their clothes so that they’re alarmed if someone tries to walk out of the store?
Key Character Debuts
Willie the Dry Cleaner
Ada the Secretary
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “Well I am actually going to have a secretary and I get to do the interview.” – George “That’s incredible. Six months ago you were taking messages for your mother.” – Jerry
– “Whoa, this is a beauty. Great cut. It’s probably very flattering.” – Willie “Oh yes, it really accentuates my bust line.” – Jerry
– “You’re luscious. You’re ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra.” – George
– “I’m telling you Jerry, having a secretary is incredible. I don’t know why I didn’t have one before.” – George “Because you didn’t have a job?” – Jerry
– “You arms look like something hanging in a kosher deli.” – George
– “Oh I’m returning this dress to Barney’s.” – Elaine “Good idea.” – Kramer
– “Just a quick sidebar here, are you in anyway authorized to give raises?” – Jerry “Not that I’m aware of, no.” – George
– “Look at the stitching. This is old world craftsmanship.” – Kramer “300 dollars.” – Bania “Sold. Follow me into the dressing room.” – Kramer “You throw the shirt in?” – Bania “Bania, you’re killing me.” – Kramer “Hey that’s the women’s dressing room.” – Bania “There’s nothing in there that I haven’t seen before.” – Kramer
– “Yes, In fact, her mother is in the hospital right now. It’s some kind of a Diverticulitis.” – George “I had a bout of that myself one time, knocked me right on my ass.” – Steinbrenner
– ” Kramer, I want my money back for this suit. You’re nancy-boy cream leaked all over the pockets. Suits ruined.” – Bania
– “Can we go back to Mendy’s?” – Bania “You want to go to Mendy’s, I’ll take you to Mendy’s.” – Jerry “Twice? I wanna go twice.” – Bania “All right let’s be reasonable, Bania. I’m taking you out for a nice dinner. All I want is a little ticket in that pocket. I think it’s a pretty good deal.” – Jerry “Two Mendys.” – Bania
Oddities & Fun Facts
– Jerry referencing Kramer’s kavorka is a callback to The Conversion (S5, E11)
– Newsradio’s Vicki Lewis portrays Ada
– Jerry and Bania discussing dinner at Mendy’s is a callback to The Soup (S6, E7)
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: I liked this one much more than I remember thanks to some really sharp dialogue from the whole crew and a killer showing from Bania. The whole dry cleaner story was really funny and Kramer’s Barney’s escapades were well done too. George and Ada were funny but all of that felt a bit jammed in and didn’t quite have room to breathe. There are definitely plenty of laughs stuffed into this one but it slots in just under the highest level episode for me. Final Grade: 7/10
Aaron: I laughed a lot during this one. It has at least two solid iconic moments, and strong performance all around. Fantastic stuff here. Final Grade: 8/10
Andrew: This is a solid episode, with some great clip show material, particularly Kramer in the dressing room, and the group’s defeated walk out of Barney’s. But the storylines aren’t the best, and I found the conclusion pretty unsatisfying. It’s an enjoyable watch, but clearly not one of the best. Final Grade: 6/10
Jordan: Unlike the pea soup at Mendy’s, this was NOT the best episode in town. It wasn’t bad, but nothing had me rolling, and nothing stands out as ultra memorable. A fairly weak ending hurts it a bit too. Final Grade: 6/10
Jason: This episode as a whole didn’t hold up as well as I remembered. It was great to see Bania and Big Stein back. Two of the best secondary characters in the series. The dry cleaning stuff was domination, but everything else kind of fell flat. Overall, this was slightly above average. Final Grade: 6/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jan 24, 2016 2:19:39 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Race” (S6, E10)
Best Character
JT: I am going with the Original Three in a giant tie here. Jerry was on point throughout, really selling his legend and making us understand why he wouldn’t run. George was aces in both his attempts to find love and his assistance in continuing to keep Jerry’s legend alive. And Kramer! The disgruntled, red department store Santa was great too. Tremendous output from all three here.
Aaron: Angry Chinese delivery guy is the only one who really got a pop out of me. He’s a screaming, yelling, unreasonable man. NO MORE DELIVERIES!!!!
Andrew: Jerry was my favorite. He’s the focal point of the episode, the grandstanding about the race is fun, and I really enjoy his Clark Kent/Superman impression. I think it’s the obvious joy he gets out of doing it that I like the most.
Jordan: It’s a close race this time around, but you know Jerry always wins when he is in a race! From being smitten not with Lois, but the idea he was dating someone named Lois, to his retelling of the race, along with the excellent, “I choose NOT to run!” line, he was superb the entire episode. Bonus points for being disgusted with George trying to hype himself up in the diner.
Jason: Tough chose here. Jerry was fabulous with his Superman references all throughout the episode, but I’m gonna go with George. Meeting women from The Daily Worker and heading to Cuba to scout ball players because Big Stein thinks he’s a communist. But, he sealed the deal for me with the scene at Monk’s when he sees Jerry and Duncan. IT STARTS WITH A…DUNCAN!
Best Storyline
JT: I loved the Communist stuff but the Race destroys all. They built up a legendary flushed out story that you bought into hard within such a short time frame and it was amazing. The scene at Monk’s with George running into Duncan & Jerry was an all timer and the final race was Seinfeld at its best tying everything together in one big shot.
Aaron: The race story was very well integrated into every aspect of the show. While I personally don’t understand the obsession one might have about a race whose result is twenty years old, I can certainly see the fine craftsmanship it took to weave it into the story.
Andrew: The Race storyline is so good. The backstory build-up is so well done that it feels like there are real stakes to the climactic rematch, to the point that I actually feel emotionally invested when the Superman theme kicks in. It’s one of the more memorable plots, and surprisingly quotable too.
Jordan: It’s the race. It has a backstory, some fun twists with Duncan threatening to fire Lois, the George run in at the diner, and of course the big rematch where Jerry wins in the same fashion.
Jason: Elaine dating Ned the communist was really good, but there’s no way to top the race stuff. Jerry finding out that his girlfriends boss is he old high school rival was incredible.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: Can Duncan really fire Lois if Jerry refuses to run? Probably not without some other justifiable cause. Jerry should have advised Lois to get canned and then filed a lawsuit and put Duncan on the street. Finish him for good.
Aaron: If you’ve had sex with your boss and gotten a huge raise out of it, is it uncouth to act angry and report him for being a communist? Yes. It’s very uncouth. When last we saw her she seemed very happy with her lot in life but now she seems to have fallen into an Elsa-like frost from which there is surely no return. Time to give Ada the boot, Georgie boy.
Andrew: Should Jerry have just come clean about the head start? Probably. Maintaining a lie for twenty years can’t be good for your mental health. Although, after seeing Duncan’s behavior, I can’t blame Jerry for digging in. What good is your emotional well-being when weighed against a shallow victory for some jerk? My point here is Duncan sucks.
Jordan: I know he was lying, but if the homeroom teacher at George’s high school is really having sex with students, she is a sex predator. Chris Hansen needs to know about this.
Jason: What’s the damage that has to be done for someone to get blacklisted from a restaurant? Hop Sing’s is way out of line here. Must little people always play the elf during the holidays? You damn betcha!
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: I like Ned. I don’t care what his beliefs are, he seems like a nice guy that sticks to his guns and helps spread the word wherever he can. We Want More Ned! Relationship Grade: Ability/Means
Aaron: Has anyone else ever gotten a homosexual vibe from Cobra Commander? If he were gay I could totally see him nailing Major Bludd up against a Hiss tank. Relationship Grade: 10/10
Andrew: I find Lois kind of unpleasant. She seems awfully quick to side with her boss against Jerry, which can’t be a good sign for their future. On the other hand, a great name counts for a lot. Ned, for example, is not a great name. Relationship Grade: Each according to his ability, to each according to his needs/10
Jordan: Jerry has found his Lois, and…she’s only alright. I feel like Jerry is really just in love with the IDEA of Lois, and not Lois herself. Eventually the novelty will wear off, and Jerry will realize he has been wasting his time on an unremarkable woman with a great name. Relationship Grade: Better than Lana/10
Jason: Jerry and Lois were made for each other. On the other hand, the second Elaine found out Ned was a communist, she should have sent him packing. Relationship Grade: Chicken Cashew/10
What Worked:
JT: Jerry dating a Lois is awesome; Duncan Meyer is also a great heel; The Ned is very well red line is one of my all time favorites; Also, Elaine dating a Communist is pretty funny, as is George hitting up the personal ads of the commie rag; The race story still kills it; Mr. Bevilacqua; The tart cider line made me chuckle; Elaine straight out asking Ned about being a Communist was perfect; Kramer and Mickey’s Christmas gig and the ensuing chaos as we get some good physical K-Man humor in addition to speaking gibberish; I love George toasting Elaine’s glass and spilling it everywhere; Mickey attacking Ned after he insults the store was tremendous and Ned pushing his commie propaganda within the mall Santa racket is so absurdly great; I love that Duncan can’t let go of the Race decades later; George’s acting at Monk’s and the jabs he and Jerry throw are tremendous and the whole thing is an all time classic scene; Ned’s ties to Hop Sing’s and the eventual payoff was really well done too; The Coleman’s manager telling Santa to “get your skinny ass outta here” in front of all the kids; Nice payoff to George being a commie; The Big Race is about as perfect a complete Seinfeld scene as you will find and I love how they dug up Mr. Bevilacqua to officiate; The final scene is funny too with the Cuban commandant mirroring Big Stein
Aaron: I like that Duncan and Jerry hate each other IMMEDIATELY. Kramer as Santa is good for a few chuckles and his insistence that there’s s reindeer named Donna is as endearing as his speaking the language of children. Dorchie, Dorchie do indeed. Elaine doing a tickle fest before blurting out “Are you a communist?” also got a bit of a rise out of me. Two moments stand out for me here as being quite tremendous: George pretending to “run into” Jerry and Duncan at the coffee shop is really fantastic. The fantasy that he and Jerry create in between their mounting hostilities is so engrossing that George nearly leaves before even discussing the race. Or course he’s an architect, of course he needs to cut down Jerry’s “did you ever notice” comedy. The closing Superman montage is also a thing of beauty. Perhaps I’m being moved by one of the greatest soundtracks in film history but even Jerry casually shoving a cheering Elaine to the ground feels heroic when done in slow motion.
Andrew: The communist B-story is really solid. It’s like a reverse of the race storyline, taking a serious issue like McCarthyism/blacklisting and turning it into a low-stakes battle over Chinese delivery. The battles between Mickey and Kramer over communism are great, especially when the kid starts delivering his hot political takes. George trying out The Daily Worker personal ads is solid, and I really like the Steinbrenner/Castro dictator parallels. But the race storyline is the best part here. George and Jerry battling over George’s made-up backstory in the diner is fantastic, Jerry’s speeches throughout are great, and the final scene is just about perfect.
Jordan: I feel like I could say everything here. I’ve covered the race mostly, but Elaine and Kramer had great stories happening too. Elaine sadly naming names on her commie boyfriend is a heck of a way to end a relationship. Kramer buying into Ned’s communism and selling kids on it as Santa Claus is brilliant. Duncan still being bitter 20 years later over a race is ridiculous, yet believable. George running into Jerry to support his story is classic George, especially since he uses it to tell people he had sex. The race is so fun, with Jerry inadvertantly cheating again and winning. Elaine running to Jerry only to be shoved away so he could hug Lois is great. I also liked George meeting Castro at the end.
Jason: Jerry dating a woman named Lois was brilliant as well as Duncan being Jerry’s Lex Luthor. Ned being very well READ and RED. Jerry’s tale about the race and how he got a head start. I CHOSE NOT TO RUN! George getting calls at work from woman in the personal ads of The Daily Worker. Ada ratting George out to Big Stein that he’s a communist and Stein sending George to Cuba to scout ball players. Kramer as a mall Santa and Mickey as the elf. The two of them walking down the street in costume talking about communist literature. George’s phone flip to Jerry. Elaine introducing Ned as her boyfriend the communist. The kid calling out Santa Kramer as a communist. HE’S SPREADING PROPAGANDA! The entire scene at Monk’s where George shows up and pretends the he hasn’t seen Jerry in years. Elaine getting Ned blacklisted at Hop Sing’s. SHE NAMED NAME! The payoff at the end at the race with Kramer’s car backfiring, Jerry getting a head start again and the Superman theme playing in the background.
What Didn’t Work
JT: The Hop Sing’s delivery man had quite the short fuse; Why would George give his work number out when shopping the commie personal ads?; What is Ada’s problem? George gave her a hot ride and a raise and she dimes him out to Steinbrenner? Get outta here!; Why doesn’t Ned just go pick up the food? Lazy Communist
Aaron: Why would Lois care so much about a race in high school that she wasn’t even a part of to begin with? Why would the manager of the department store take the kid’s word that Santa was a communist? Why are we still worried about communists?
Andrew: Kramer shouting gibberish at a child that doesn’t speak English wasn’t great. He clearly doesn’t mean it as mocking, but it’s not exactly charming, either.
Jordan: I guess I wish we would have seen the woman George was calling from the personal ads.
Jason: George’s flashy sweater at Elaine’s apartment was pretty bad. Duncan (Lois’ boss, not Jordan) is a complete dick. Get over it pal, you lost the race!
Key Character Debuts
Lois
Duncan Meyer
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “Would you be able to come all the way downtown again in rush hour to pick me up?”- Lois “Well, I’d have to be Superman to do that Lois.” – Jerry
– “You really like to say my name? Don’t you?” – Lois “Excuse me Lois. Stand back Lois. Jimmy’s in trouble Lois.” – Jerry
– “Your boyfriend reads the Daily Worker? What is he? A communist?” – George “He reads everything, you know, Ned’s very well read.” – Elaine “Maybe he’s just very well RED?” – George “Communist? Don’t you think he probably would have told me?” – Elaine “Well, does he wear bland, drab, olive colored clothing?” – George “Yes, yes he does dress a little drab.” – Elaine
– “I never did. In four years of high school I would never race anyone again. Not even to the end of the block to catch a bus. And so the legend grew. Everyone wanted me to race. They begged me. The track coach called my parents. Pleading. Telling them it was a sin to waste my god given talent. But I answered him in the same way I answered everyone. I chose not to run.” – Jerry
– “So you WERE the fastest kid in school.” – Lois “Faster than a speeding bullet Lois.” – Jerry
– “Wow, gee, man it must be a bummer for you guys what with the fall of the soviet empire and everything.” – Elaine “Yeah, well, we still got China, and Cuba…” – Ned “Yeah, but come on…” – Elaine “I know it’s not the same.” – Ned “Well, you had a good run, what was it 75, 80 years? Wreaking havoc, making everybody nervous.” – Elaine “Yeah, we had a good run.” – Ned
– “I couldn’t tell her the truth. I don’t know what’s going to happen between us. What if we have a bad breakup. She’ll go straight to Duncan. And I want him to go to his grave never being certain I got that head start.” – Jerry
– “The Daily Worker has personal ads?” – Jerry “And they say appearance is not important.” – George “Yours or hers?” – Jerry
– “On Prancer on Dasher, on Donna.” – Kramer “Not Donna, it’s Donner.” – Mickey “Donna!” – Kramer “Yeah, right!. On Prancer, on Dancer, on Donna, on Ethyl, on Harriet.” – Mickey
– “Hey, Mickey when do we get a break? My lap is killing me.” – Kramer “There is no break.” – Mickey “this is like a sweatshop.” – Kramer
– “Anyone who works here is a sap.” – Ned “Watch it!” – Mickey “Woah, woah, come on.” – Kramer Ned: You understand the Santas at Bloomfields are making double what you are?” – Ned “Double?” – Kramer “I bet the beard itches doesn’t it?” – Ned “You got that straight.” – Kramer “So when you get a rash all over your face in January do you think Coleman’s will be there with a medical plan?” – Ned “Look, you take that commie crap out into the street.” – Mickey “Kramer, I’ve got some literature in my car that will change your whole way of thinking.” – Ned “Talk to me baby.” – Kramer
– ” Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, don’t tell me, don’t tell me. It starts with a…Duncan” – George
– “So what do you do, a lot of that “did you ever notice?” this kind of stuff.” – George “Yeah, yeah…” – Jerry “It strikes me a lot of guys are doing that kind of humor now.” – George “Yeah, yeah, Well, you really got bald there, didn’t you?” – Jerry
– “Well, one cannot help, but wonder what brings you into a crummy little coffee shop like this.” – Jerry “Well, I like to stay in touch with the people.” – George “Ah, you know you have a hole in your sneaker there. What is that canvas?” – Jerry “You know my driver’s waiting, I really should get running.” – Jerry
– “And he’s calling all these people from High School to come and watch. I knew this day would come. I can’t do it. I can’t go through with it. I’m calling it off. I can’t let the legend die. It’s like a kid finding out there’s no Santa Claus.” – Jerry
– “Each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.” – Kramer “What does that mean?” – Mickey “Well, if you’ve got needs and abilities that’s a pretty good combination.” – Kramer
– “Fine, you want to be a Communist, be a Communist. Can’t you at least look like a successful Communist?” – Elaine
– “Ho ho ho ho A racing car set! Those are assembled in Tai Wan by kids like you. And these Coleman pigs, they sell it at triple the cost.” – Kramer “But I want a racing car set.” – Kid “You see kid, you’re being bamboozaled. These capitalist fat cats are inflating the profit margin and reducing your total number of toys.” – Kramer “Hey, this guy’s a COMMIE!” – Kid
– “Communism, You didn’t realize Communism was a sensitive issue? What do you think has been going on in the world for the past 60 years? Wake up and smell the coffee.” – Mickey
Oddities & Fun Facts
– Mickey has two kids in college
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: I am shocked it took Jerry this long to work in a Superman theme but once he finally did, it really delivered. This is one of all time favorite episodes that clicks immediately and cruises through the end at warp speed. Every scene ties into the overall story and the writing was really clever throughout. The Communist stuff could have been throwaway or hokey but it was executed so absurdly with the mall Santas and the blacklisting that it popped well. The Race is amazing across the board, right down to the Superman theme over the final showdown and Jerry’s embrace of Lois and wink to close it out. Tremendous stuff and a Hall of Famer in my eyes. Final Grade: 10/10
Aaron: The scuttlebutt in one of our group discussions about this one was that it was an all time classic so going in my expectations were quite high. Unfortunately this one fell way short for me. It has two great, great moments but everything else was pretty mediocre in my eyes. Communist Ned didn’t work for me and the pettiness (That I usually love) over the result of a two decades old race felt very forced. It’s by no means a bad episode but next to what’s around it I just don’t see the love. Final Grade: 7/10
Andrew: This is a great episode. So many lines and scenes are burned into my memory, which says a lot for its staying power. It’s not as groundbreaking as some of the other classics, but sometimes making greatness out of simple idea is even more impressive. Final Grade: 9/10
Jordan: One of my all time favorite episodes. Jerry has the ability to bring an episode down, but every once in a while, he hits a home run that surpasses the other three. When that happens, it is always great. This is no exception. Great, great stuff. Final Grade: 10/10
Jason: Another nice tie in here with Christmas right around the corner. The episode as a whole has always been a favorite of mine and held up nicely watching again. Communism, Santa Kramer and Jerry dating a Lois. An excellent twenty three minutes of television here with great writing, the Superman stuff and everything blending together very well. Final Grade: 9/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Feb 2, 2016 8:09:48 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Switch” (S6, E11)
Best Character
JT: George is my choice this time around. He had lots of irons in the fire, with his bursting into the women’s room and helping Jerry plot the switch and discovering Kramer’s name, it all clicked. And his absolute peak was freaking out when he found out the results of Jerry’s experiment. IT’S LIKE DISCOVERING PLUTONIUM… BY ACCIDENT!
Aaron: While I may not be on my knees thanking god that I have access to his dementia, I’m going with George here. His conspiracy laced face as he attempts to conquer the switch is as inspired as his absolute freak out when Jerry turns down the orgy. Also no one sells an ‘AH HA!” quite like Mr. Costanza.
Andrew: I thought George would be the obvious winner here, but I wasn’t crazy about his bulimia subplot, so I’ll go with Jerry. He’s on par with George during the planning scenes, and I’ve always liked his “orgy guy” speech. I may not agree with his decision, but he makes a compelling case.
Jordan: George. Once again, he has a woman way out of his league that he finds issue with. But that’s not why he gets this one – George is the mind behind the near foolproof switch plan. It was all his idea. You could say…he’s the architect.
Jason: Lots of choices here. Jerry delivered big time, especially with his orgy rant, but I have to go with George. His dedication in helping Jerry pull off the roommate switch and obsession with finding out if Nina was bulimic were terrific. He’s paying for those meals, damn it!
Best Storyline
JT: The roommate switch. The plotting scenes were so good and the music was the cherry on top. I also love how it all played out. If only Jerry wasn’t so soft and just banged the two chicks and called it a day.
Aaron: The actual switch gave us no less than two montages which admittedly is about three short of Rocky 4, but keep in mind that this isn’t being written by the laziest writer in the world.
Andrew: The Switch is such a great storyline. I love the way it parallels an art heist movie: the objective so audacious that George can’t resist, the plotting scenes set to dramatic music, the unforeseen complication that threatens the entire plan. It’s brilliant. The fact that the storyline pivots into a “could you participate in a threesome” referendum only makes me like it more.
Jordan: It’s the switch. Jerry has a true dilemma, and he foolishly goes to George. The planning stage was fun, the portrayal of it was good and the final twist where both girls were into it was awesome.
Jason: Ladies and gentleman, we have a tie! The revealing of Kramer’s first name and the roommate switch. Both are iconic plots and both hold up just as good 20 years later.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: Does having one threesome make you an orgy guy? Jerome’s insight on this one is weird. He isn’t filming a gang bang. It is a romantic evening with two lovely ladies that both happen to want to screw him. How do you turn that down Jerry? You are single, live a little!
Aaron: How do we feel about people who say “that’s funny” rather than laugh? Is this acceptable human behavior or are they the scum of the earth? I’ve got to believe there’s some sort of middle ground I’m missing here but let’s say at worst they’re humorless bores and a best they are functioning robots. Question for you the reader: if they were robots would you sleep with them? Spoiler: I would.
Andrew: If presented with the opportunity for a threesome, are you obligated to go through with it, if only because it’s the default male fantasy? Nah. Honestly, I kind of admire Jerry for having the courage of his convictions. But are your friends allowed to be mad at you? Absolutely. You can’t deprive us of a vicarious thrill like that and expect to get off easy.
Jordan: Jerry’s girl being into the threeway is one thing, but the roommate being game is odd. She has met Jerry, what, one time? This is the 90s and we are still in the HIV/AIDS scare, only a couple years removed from Magic Johnson. If it can happen to Earvin, it can happen to you. Don’t sleep with relative strangers.
Jason: Should you dump someone because they don’t laugh? YOU DAMN BET YOU DO!
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: HE TURNED DOWN A THREESOME. Relationship Grade: Lame/10
Aaron: Sandy sucks, the roommate is hot and the bulimic model is somewhat disturbing. Let’s get back to sex with robots. Relationship Grade: C3PO, R2D2, BB8 = Threesome
Andrew: I can totally see why dating a girl who never laughs would be unsatisfying. But Sandy seems open to some pretty adventurous stuff; it’s probably worth riding that relationship out a little longer. The Babs/Newman pairing, on the other hand, is an abomination. Relationship Grade: You’ll never get into trouble that way/10
Jordan: Babs and Newman are getting hot and heavy. I wonder if Newman wrote about it for Penthouse Forum, only to be read later by Kramer. “I ran into my friends mom on the street. I offered her a smoke…” What would their couple name be? Relationship Grade: Newbs/10
Jason: Jerry and Sandy were doomed from the get go. He makes people laugh for a living and she no sells all over his jokes. Laura is everything that Sandy isn’t. Nina is way above George’s league. Relationship Grade: Glitteratti/10
What Worked:
JT: I love Elaine’s dig about not getting the job when talking to Landis; Jerry mentioning Newman’s tennis skills are a great random throwaway line; Kramer plants the seeds to destroy yet another George relationship; Having Jerry date a non-laugher is a funny angle; I love that George is more concerned about his meals being wasted than his girlfriend being bulimic; Kramer’s reaction when revealing Babs’ occupation is fantastic; Just take the racket Laney!; The Cosmo reveal is so awesome and random and George’s reaction is amazing; The follow up scene in the apartment where George spills the beans and Kramer walks in followed by the gang exploding and George doing a spit take is top notch; Laura is way hotter than Sandy, I can’t blame Jerry for trying the switch; All of the switch planning scenes are some of my all time favorites, including the long explanation of the plan and especially the caper saxophone music in the background; I love when they come back from commercial and they have ordered a pizza and Jerry just starts into the “menage-a-tois” line; The twist with Sandy being into the threesome was great; Kramer & Babs strutting down the street; Newman seducing Babs with the sax music blaring over it; George flipping out about the threesome was tremendous; The throwaway line about Newman vacationing in Baltimore made me chuckle; The final scene was a great close
Aaron: I always love when Kramer just casually breaks someone’s spirit. He flippantly drops that George’s girlfriend may be bulimic which sends George down a deep, deep rabbit hole. I LOVE that George finally sits opposite from someone who eats just like him. I mean she’s just shoveling food into her mouth. It’s disgusting. Just like him.
Andrew: The “Cosmo” reveal can’t have the same impact it did when it first aired, but a lot of it holds up really well, especially the rest of the crew being unable to control their laughter in front of Kramer. And Babs is pretty great, especially when angrily declaring she’s “been clean for two years!” Elaine gets a really solid plot; I can’t really find fault in any of her choices, which makes the injustice of it all that much funnier. And as I said, I love everything about The Switch.
Jordan: As mentioned, the switch is done really well with it being plotted out like a bank heist. It’s important that Laura is a much better choice than Sandy, and she is. Learning Kramer’s name is an iconic moment even though it’s not that funny. I enjoyed George spilling the beans and the reaction, followed by his spit take when it is said in front of Kramer. Elaine’s racket story isn’t the best, but its a perfectly fine subplot that keeps the episode moving along.
Jason: Newman being ‘fantastic’ at tennis. Ms. Landis telling Elaine she has grace on the tennis court. Jerry’s jokes bouncing off Sandy like Superman. George hearing a BLAAAH in the bathroom. George being pissed because he’s paying for those meals. Jerry asking why Mr. Pitt needs a $300 Bruline to beat Ethyl Kennedy. Babs’, “COSMO!”, followed by Kramer’s blank stare back at her. George’s, I got the first name…” Jerry and Elaine’s uncontrollable laughter after George drops Kramer’s first name on them. Kramer being proud of his first name; “What do you say, Cosmo?” “Hey, everything my man!” The discussion of if there were roommates in the middle ages. The montage of Jerry and George drinking coffee and wondering the streets coming up with the switch strategy with 1940’s movie music in the background; “I GOT IT!!!” George dipping his finger in peanut butter; “This is what I do.” The switch backfiring on Jerry; “That’s a wild idea.” Babs bumping into Newman on the street with the same 1940’s music in the background. SHE’S INTO IT! and “Oh, it’s a scene man.” Jerry’s rant about not being an orgy guy. George saying it’s like discovering Plutonium by accident. Newman and Babs making out, followed by Newman’s, “COSMO?” was the perfect payoff at the end.
What Didn’t Work
JT: Ms. Landis sucks; I hate the way Nina says “George”; Why would a model date George?; Ms. Landis’ assistant is a jackass as well, that whole office sucks; It was kind of shitty for Babs to quit her job the day of the big sting; Jerry has no reason to pass on the threesome except for just being an overthinking pussy
Aaron: I’m not a fan of George bursting into a room with Jerry and Elaine in it screaming “Well! I heard a noise!” as though he had spoken to them about it before when he had not. It’s also preposterous that Jerry not only refuses the threesome but is openly upset about the offer. Come on Jerry. Grow the mustache and get out there champ.
Andrew: Why does George care that his girlfriend might have bulimia? I get that it would be out of character for him to be concerned for her welfare, but I’m not crazy about it just being about his cheapness.
Jordan: Landis sucks. I wasn’t a big fan of the bulimia storyline, and the payoff was weak.
Jason: Ms. Landis is still a raging bitch. I’m glad she might not be able to play tennis again. Shouldn’t Cosmo have beat the shit out of Newman for making out with Babs?
Key Character Debuts
Babs Kramer
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “Oh, Bruline. Newman’s got the same one.” – Jerry “Newman plays tennis?” – Elaine “He’s fantastic.” – Jerry
– “George, you’re becoming one of the gliterratti.” – Kramer “What’s that.” – George “Ya’ know, people who glitter. She’s a slim gal.” – Kramer
– “Yes, full. I love to be full … love to sit back, loosen the old belt and digest away for hours. Let those enzymes do their work.” – George
– “Elaine, of course I’m concerned. I’m payin’ for those meals. It’s like throwing money down the toilet.” – George “In a manner of speaking.” – Jerry “Let me digest it. Let me get my money’s worth. Y’know what would be good is if there was someone else in the bathroom that could tell me.” – George
– “Let me go. let me go. Because I haven’t talked to my mother in five years. We just don’t see eye to eye. I don’t even want to get into my childhood. I’m still carrying a lot of pain. A LOT of pain.” – Kramer
– We finally discover Kramer’s first name: Cosmo
– “He’s got a big match tomorrow with Ethyl Kennedy.” – Elaine “He needs a three hundred-dollar Bruline to beat Ethyl Kennedy?” – Jerry
– “Well you know all my life I’ve been running away from that name. That’s why I wouldn’t tell anybody. But I’ve been thinking about it. All this time I’m trying not to be me. I’m afraid to face who I was. But I’m Cosmo Jerry. I’m Cosmo Kramer. And that’s who I’m going to be. From now on that’s who I’m going to be. I’m Cosmo!” – Kramer
– “Well, if I hear you correctly–and I think that I do–my advice to you is to finish your meal, pay your check, leave here, and never mention this to anyone again.” – George
– “Do you realize in the entire history of western civilization no one has successfully accomplished the Roommate Switch? In the Middle Ages you could get locked up for even suggesting it!” – George “They didn’t have roommates in the Middle Ages.” – Jerry “Well, I’m sure at some point between the years 800 and 1200 –somewhere — there were two women living together.” – George
– “It’s a perfect plan. So inspired. So devious. Yet so simple.” – George
– “Oh, it’s a scene man.” – Jerry “Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia?” – George “What are you talking about? I’m not goin’ to do it.” – Jerry “You’re not goin to do it? What do you mean, You’re not going to do it?” – George “I can’t. I’m not an orgy guy.” – Jerry “Are you crazy? This is like discovering Plutonium … by accident.” – George “Don’t you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I’d have to dress different. I’d have to act different. I’d have to grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I’d need a new bedspread and new curtains I’d have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I’d have to get new friends. I’d have to get orgy friends… Naw, I’m not ready for it.” – Jerry “If only something like that could happen to me.” – George “Oh, shut up you couldn’t do it either.” – Jerry “I know.” – George
Oddities & Fun Facts
– Newman is great at tennis
– Jerry makes another Superman reference
– Larry David provides one of the voices that says hello to Cosmo & Babs
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: Our hot streak continues with another really fun episode. The big Cosmo reveal was earth shattering at the time and the scene still holds up today. All of the switch stuff was very good too. Elaine’s story was a bit soft, but we do get the visual of Mr. Pitt playing tennis with Ethyl Kennedy out of it. George was a force of nature here and despite the big time storyline with Cosmo, he just about carried this one on his back. I think it is a couple of steps back from the race but still holds up very well. Final Grade: 8/10
Aaron: The episode relied way too much on the reveal of Kramer’s name to my liking. Sure a few things were funny here and there but it felt very gimmicky as a whole. Like the writers settled on Cosmo then got lazy about the rest of the script this week. Maybe they COULD write a Rocky? I need to stop watching these so late. Final Grade: 5/10
Andrew: I didn’t like this one quite as much as I thought I would. I’ve never been a fan of the bulimia subplot, and revealing Kramer’s first name feels less impactful with the passing years. But The Switch storyline is an all-timer, and that makes up for a lot. Final Grade: 8/10
Jordan: This one almost feels like two episodes. The switch and the Cosmo name reveal are fun and iconic, but the bulimia and tennis racket stories range from average to bad. I’ll go 10 for the first two and 4 for the other two, then even it out for my grade. Final Grade: 7/10
Jason: This episode included two of my favorite plots in the entire series. The roommate switch and finding out Kramer’s first name. Babs being a matron was a great way to tie in everything with the suspicion of Nina being bulimic. Although the subplot with Elaine, Landis and the tennis racket wasn’t really anything special, Cosmo and threesomes made this episode shine…BIG TIME! Final Grade: 10/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Feb 2, 2016 8:10:09 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Label Maker” (S6, E12)
Best Character
JT: Jerry was sharp and totally on point in this episode. His digs at Newman, the Risk game, Kramer, Whatley and George were all top notch and watching him navigate through all the deceit only to get the tickets back while ending up at the game with Newman was a fantastic payoff.
Aaron: There’s a lot of good to choose from here but I think I have to go with Jerry as the straight man to all the madness surrounding him. He creates and gets over re-gifting and de-gifting while also teaching George about the nature of giving. Being the straight man is much more difficult than it appears and Jerry nails it here. Label it nailed (that worked so much better for Jerry).
Andrew: I don’t think there is an obvious choice, but I thought Kramer was the funniest. He gets some of the best lines (“And you know who’s gonna suffer? The little people; you and George”), and his chemistry with Newman is always good. And his preference for Canadian football is a perfect hipster affectation.
Jordan: Good God! That’s Newman’s music! Everyone’s favorite antagonist was on fire here, trying desperately to cheat at Risk, going to the Superbowl and scoring a ton of FREEBIES!
Jason: George takes it for me. His displeasure with Scott working from the inside was tremendous. All topped off with his threesome idea audible backfiring on him.
Best Storyline
JT: Risk all the way. I was an avid Risk player right around this time so it was a perfect storyline that I could easily relate to. I loved Newman trying to break into the apartment, Jerry’s digs at the whole scenario, Kramer’s threats about what could happen if Newman won and of course the final scene with the Ukrainian madman smashing the board. Also, I used “I’m taking the Congo as a penalty!” many times in my day.
Aaron: George’s quest to be ensconced in velvet destroys a woman’s life and leads to him participating in the greatest tag team since Strike Force. His unwitting major commitment does nothing but bury him in emptiness and a man all too excitedly saying “Oh really???”
Andrew: They all have their moments, but I like the Risk storyline the most. It’s a beautifully simple idea: two friends who can’t trust each other not to cheat getting overly invested in a multi-day board game session. They wrote some perfect lines for this one, and the “Ukraine not weak!” payoff is an all-timer.
Jordan: I’ll go Risk for two reasons. First, it is genuinely funny with Newman sneaking in through the fire escape, Kramer running down the street with his board and the Ukranian man ruining everything because of Kramer’s trash talk. Second, this story can’t be told in modern TV, Kramer would just snap a picture of the board with his phone and be done with worrying.
Jason: The Risk stuff with Cosmo and Newman was full of laughs as was the SuperBowl ticket shuffling, but I have to go with George being paranoid of his look-a-like Scott being Bonnie’s roommate. Vintage Costanza paranoia at it’s finest.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: Once George suggested the menage-a-tois is he officially committed to taking part in the action? Yes. Can’t back out once you get the buy-in from all the involved parties. Let your mind be free Georgie Boy. Lay down on that towel and let the Super Bowl be the background to your sexual enlightenment.
Aaron: How do we feel about gifts that end up costing more money in the long run? I think I’m with George in that they’re inappropriate and completely wrong. I want a gift, not another reason to plunge into more horrific, back breaking debt. If you’re going to invite someone to the Superbowl at least have the class to pay for their flight and consider romancing them as supplemental payment. It’s just such a slippery slope which is why the only gifts I ever give are cats.
Andrew: Is it fair that Bryan Cranston has a glorious mane in this episode, but had to play his career-defining role bald? No, but we all suffer for our art.
Jordan: Is a velvet couch really that great that it ruins your interest in a woman once it’s gone? I say no.
Jason: If you repeat the name of a gift after you open it does that mean you dislike it? Hell yes it does!
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: Bonnie is a catch and George should have shut his mouth and rode that velvet gravy train into Nirvana. Again, his paranoia ruins a good thing. Whatley and Elaine need to bang already. Relationship Grade: Velvet/10
Aaron: Scott looked deep into George’s eyes, longing permeating every pore of his body. George, nervous but excited, stepped towards his doppelganger with the trepidation of a lamb mounting a skunk. There was something in the air, a mist of love that warmed both their cold, cheap, shallow hearts. As they embraced sparks became fireworks, rivers became seas winding and flowing into an ocean of right. That night the world changed. The loneliest of Bonnie’s wretched borrowed life. Relationship Grade: You can’t put a number on art.
Andrew: Elaine and Tim Whatley: such passion! George is mainly interested in Bonnie for her apartment, but like Sandy in “The Switch”, she’s into some wild stuff; I think it’s worth seeing where that goes. Relationship Grade: Perhaps it’s an homage/10
Jordan: It is a relationship grounded in true love, commitment and faithfulness. That guy REALLY loves the Ukraine! Relationship Grade:Rat fur hat/10
Jason: Man, Bonnie is quite attractive and another one that’s way above George’s league. I really enjoyed Elaine playing mind games with that son of a bitch regifter, Whatley. Relationship Grade: SuperBowl Sex Romp/10
What Worked:
JT: Tim Whatley returns and I love his snub of George; I also love Tim offering Jerry a dinner at Mendy’s; The Label Baby, Junior; RISK!; Big Daddy!; The revelation that Whatley regifted the Label Baby is great; Jerry’s line about Elaine getting Whatley a birthday gift and him being a large; Scott the creepy roommate; Newman planning a sneak attack in a game of Risk is amazing; Arthur Jobanian is a funny name; “Oh, it’s Risk, it’s a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives.” is an all time line and “You’re not a little anything, Newman” isn’t bad either; Elaine wanting to go to Tim’s apartment just to find the Label Maker is funny, especially with the payoff when Jerry and George explain that is why she got the invite; Also, Elaine’s dance is cute; “Mae West” and the Super Bowl sex romp, Jerry is on fire; Elaine just ripping poor Whatley’s heart out in the cab; Jerry collapsing George’s world after Scott moves out; Kramer’s weird popping noise when rolling the dice; I always love when Newman plans revenge via mail tampering; Kramer and Newman scampering down the street with the Risk board chasing the tow truck is epic; The Risk game on the Subway and the Ukraine stuff is so great; Elaine going back to get the Label Maker was funny as was Tim having no clue how to respond and then turning the blame around; Jerry and Newman being stuck at the Super Bowl, George using the threesome trick and it backfiring and Newman ending up with Scott’s boxes were allgreat payoffs
Aaron: This is an expertly written episode. Not only do they do about a billion callbacks to things earlier in the episode, but they manage to tie in the Thanksgiving dinner and Mendy’s. Not a single line is wasted as every single utterance moves something forward, and are funny to boot. The RISK subplot is brilliant. Highlighted with Kramer’s frantic physical comedy and stamped shut with an angry Ukrainian smashing the board in a show of strength and power; the game of world domination is instantly one of the more memorable Kramer/Newman joints. George is always great when he’s got somewhere to fall from; and his descent from gleefully celebrating all that is velvet is so wonderfully punctuated with he and Bonnie sadly searching for towels to spend the night on. He does make a tremendous point about how animals mate when left alone in a cage. Elaine’s inability to understand what going upstairs means is as endearing as the excellent Whatley’s gesticulation to go “straight downtown.” It’s so small but I also adore that Kramer namedrops some guy named Arthur Jobanian.
Andrew: There is some incredible dialogue in this episode, to the point where this section could be all quotes. I’ll just point out that “using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp” is my personal favorite and leave it at that. There’s some solid use of callbacks, too, like Jerry’s “I don’t wanna be Switzerland!”, and the entirely perfect “ménage à trois” ending. Newman rubbing his luck in Jerry’s face at the Super Bowl is great, as is Kramer knocking with the back of his head in the opener.
Jordan: Whatley and Newman are two of the best recurring characters and they are all over this one. Jerry is always good when he can talk down to somebody, so mocking Newman and Kramer is like a layup line for him. Elaine inadvertantly leading on Tim and getting offered Jerry’s Superbowl tickets is a nice side story. I enjoy the label maker tying everything together. George and his shenanigans are always fun.
Jason: The Drakes wedding as the reason why Jerry couldn’t go to the SuperBowl was a nice excuse. Kramer only interested in Canadian Football. Tim offering to take Jerry to Mendy’s. Jerry’s, “Buh-bye” when he gets off the phone with Tim. Kramer backing into Jerry’s door with the Risk board; “I’m looking right at you, big daddy!” The game board being in a neutral spot like Switzerland. Scott being an eligible receiver. “It’s a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barley run their own lives.” is one of my favorite Jerry lines in the series. Jerry trying to slam the door on Newman and Newman trying to squeeze through; “You’re not a little of anything, Newman.” Newman being described as merry. Elaine’s, “I’m going to the SuperBowl with Tim Whatley” dance. George’s robe, massage and bathroom at two in the morning lines to Bonnie. Elaine asking Tim to go upstairs like she’s Mae West. Elaine cock blocking Tim during the hotel room discussion. Kramer and Newman running down the street with the Risk board after Cosmo’s car is getting towed. Kramer and Newman playing Risk on the subway; “The Ukraine is week.” Ukrainian guy smashing the game board. Jerry lending the label maker to George for Scott’s boxes. The labels falling off the boxes. Scott and Bonnie being into the threesome. Newman and Jerry sitting next to each other at the Super Bowl was one hell of a payoff with the tickets.
What Didn’t Work
JT: The Drake is still a douchebag, scheduling his wedding on Super Bowl Sunday; What does Newman do at the post office that he seemingly goes to work in the middle of the day? Or were they playing overnight?; The Drake is also an idiot for just realizing the wedding coincided with the Super Bowl; Tim Whatley has no other friends to invite?; Why are Jerry’s windows wide open in the middle of winter?
Aaron: Since when do these guys care about football? Perhaps had there been tickets to the World Series I’d believe the excitement. Also as much as I loved the writing there’s no way, NO WAY, Jerry would ever leave his apartment while Newman was still inside.
Andrew: Acknowledging that a show about nothing will naturally have some low stakes storylines, I’ll still say I wasn’t very invested in how the plots would turn out. Mostly I just wish the Risk game had had a winner.
Jordan: The end scene zooming in on George screaming was so odd. Was he about to be raped?
Jason: Bonnie has very low standards when it comes to guys she wants a threesome with. Scott is one ugly dude with some nice furniture. A real jerk move by Tim by telling Elaine that the label maker was the worst gift he’s ever gotten.
Key Character Debuts
– N/A
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “I asked. Elaine laughed at me, Kramer’s only interested in Canadian football.” – Jerry
– “Ah, just a couple of gals out on the town, shopping and gabbing.” – Jerry
– “Yes, yes. You’re like Switzerland.” – Kramer “I don’t wanna be Switzerland.” – Jerry “Jerry, Newman and I are engaged in a epic struggle for world domination. It’s winner take all. People cannot be trusted.” – Kramer “Don’t look at me.” – Newman “Oh, I’m looking right at you, big daddy.” – Kramer “Alright, soldier boys, let’s fall out.” – Jerry
– “Oh, well, if you repeat the name of the gift, you can’t possibly like it.” – Jerry
– “Are you a velvet fan?” – Bonnie “A fan? I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.” – George
– “Are you even vaguely familiar with the concept of giving? There’s no grace period.” – Jerry
– “Oh, it’s Risk, it’s a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives.” – Jerry
– “What are you gonna do about the roommate?” – Jerry “I gotta try and find a way to switch places with him. It’s like a Sigfried and Roy trick.” – George “Well, the pickle breath is a good start.” – Jerry
– “Jerry? I’m a little insulted.” – Newman “You’re not a little anything, Newman. So just pack it up and move it out of here.” – Jerry
– “How does Tim Whatley even know Newman?” – George “Newman’s his mailman.” – Jerry “Who goes to the Super Bowl with their mailman?!” – George “Who goes *anywhere* with Newman?!” – Jerry “Well, he’s merry.” – George “He is merry, I’ll give him that.” – Jerry
– “You go out with a guy one time, you ask him to go upstairs like you’re Mae West? Of course he’s gonna try and get you alone for the weekend.” – Jerry “You mean just because I asked him to go upstairs, he thinks he’s going downtown?” – Elaine
– “Yeah, well I don’t trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he’s using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.” – Jerry
– “I’m taking the Congo as a penalty!” – Kramer
– “You wanted to be ensconced in velvet, you’re buried.” – Jerry
– “Ha ha, the Ukraine. Do you know what the Ukraine is? It’s a sitting duck. A road apple, Newman. The Ukraine is weak. It’s feeble. I think it’s time to put the hurt on the Ukraine.” – Kramer
Oddities & Fun Facts
– The Drake getting married is a callback to The Handicap Spot (S4, E20)
– Kramer is a fan of Canadian football
– Tim referencing a dinner at Mendy’s is a callback to Kenny Bania’s dates with Jerry earlier this season
– George referencing the menage-a-tois was a callback to The Switch (S6, E11)
– This episode aired on January 19, 1995. The Super Bowl occurred on January 29, 1995 and was contested between the San Francisco 49ers and San Diego Chargers.
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: Oh how I love this episode. It cranks along from start to finish and the Risk stuff is really some of my favorite random, nonsensical story telling in the entire run of the show. The dedication they show to the game is tremendous and the subway fiasco is a brilliant capper. The gifting stuff was funny too despite how big of an asshole Whatley is. I also liked George’s dilemma and really enjoyed all the various callbacks woven throughout this one. Scott is a creepy looking dude. Final Grade: 9/10
Aaron: This was great. The writing was strong and there were great performances all around. Whereas the last few episodes have fallen a bit flat for me, this one turned it around with tremendous attention to detail. I’m running out of synonyms for “love” in these wrap ups. Final Grade: 9/10
Andrew: This episode has great dialogue and more than its share of classic moments, especially the Ukrainian slander and George’s brush with a devil’s threesome. But I wouldn’t call any of the storylines classics, and I do feel like this episode is a notch below the best of the best. Final Grade: 8/10
Jordan: I did not enter a ton of info here, but it’s not a knock on the episode. Sometimes it gets to a point where you wonder what you can say that you haven’t already. George being George always works for me, ditto Elaine and Kramer. For me, the show rises and falls on the performance of Jerry and guest stars – and this one is solid in both. Final Grade: 9/10
Jason: Risk, SuperBowl tickets, label makers and threesomes with ugly dudes. This episode holds up very well with some very good storyline tie ins. Jerry and Newman’s feud is always a treat in any episode. Awesome to have Tim Whatley back. We had some strong past episode references including, “The Mom & Pop Store”, “The Handicapped Spot” and “The Switch”. I’d say that this is in the top tier of episodes from this season. Final Grade: 8/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Feb 2, 2016 8:10:21 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Scofflaw” (S6, E13)
Best Character
JT: I didn’t think this was the best outing for our big four but if I had to pick one there, I would go with Kramer just for the absurd eye patch/leather jacket combo. However, I am going way off the radar here and going with the Hair Team salesman. His rant while snapping at Jerry was so well done and you could feel his anger. I feel he gave the best performance out there.
Aaron: He wants to be a pirate and you want him to be a pirate. His stagnating proved to be entirely self-conscious as he cycloptically sauntered and tumbled into our hearts. Sure there’s a bizarre scene where he headlocks George and bullies him, but if you pack that away in the back of the mind, like every other bullying experience, you’ll find yet another strong Kramer episode.
Andrew: I think I’ll go with Kramer. In an episode short on big laughs, all his character work stands out more. Plus, he helps a scofflaw come to terms with his delinquent past, and that’s got to count for something.
Jordan: I am giving this to Cosmo, pirate king of New York. I feel like this outfit was some kind of homage to a character I don’t know, and that actually makes it funnier to me. His falling in the diner is the best part of the episode.
Jason: Gary F’N Fogel all day here! I’m a huge Jon Lovitz fan and this is a role that he was meant to play. Lying about having cancer, the toupee, picking up the chick at Monk’s. So great! GOOD FOR YOU, JACK!
Best Storyline
JT: I will go with the scofflaw. Newman as the white whale and Kramer standing there taking him into custody as the judge looks on disgusted was great.
Aaron: Elaine’s burning revenge on Jake Jarmell. It starts strong with her freaking out over an unauthorized hi and ends with her bringing down the “peculiar” author as well as poor, poor Mr. Lippmann. Her glee as she pranced into Walden Books wearing his glasses is amazing, as is her rubbing of all the salt into his wounded eyes.
Andrew: I think it’s the scofflaw. It’s got some of the classic Seinfeld traits: the repeated use of a funny word, the overwrought speeches, the way it ties into other storylines in unexpected ways. It’s not an all-time classic, but it’s solid.
Jordan: George’s inability to keep a secret. I enjoyed him getting upset with Jerry, then immediately proving that Jerry was right not to tell him.
Jason: While the title plot had it’s moments, everything with Gary Fogel stole the show.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: Should lie about cancer to get free shit? Probably not. Gary seems like a bright guy, I am sure he could have come up with something less vile to earn that free rug.
Aaron: Is smugness a good quality? No. Is revenge very good? Yes. What’s the lesson? Cabbies are the exact same thing as psychiatrists. Psychiatrists who drive you around and give you carbon monoxide poisoning.
Andrew: Is it OK for Jake to refuse to tell anyone where he got his glasses? On the one hand, I have to give him credit for at least being honest about his motives. On the other hand, Jake sucks.
Jordan: Does Jerry have any right to mock anyone for their sense of style? George could have gotten the Joe Dirt hair and he still wouldn’t look as ridiculous as Jerry on any given episode. Keep tucking in those turtlenecks, Jerome. Maybe Paula Poundstone can lend you another blazer.
Jason: Is there a difference between saying, “Hi” and sending your regards? NOPE! Should you trust a friend with a secret who has a bad poker face? Again, NOPE!
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: Jerry and George need to figure out their relationship. They are clearly fighting through the pull to share their deepest secrets and George’s actions screamed that he wanted nothing more that to spill his guts to his true beloved but didn’t want to be the weak one. Jerry, knowing just how to bait George along, masterfully worked the secret out of him. Progress. Love. Relationship Grade: Full House/10
Aaron: Did anyone even bother to write an actual number this week? Nope? Moving on… Relationship Grade: 1000000000000000/10
Andrew: Considering the complicated politics of “saying hi”, “regards”, and the post-relationship upper hand, I’m wondering how these people find the courage to break up with someone every week. Relationship Grade: Good for you, Jack!/10
Jordan: On one hand, Jerry and George can’t trust each other. On the other hand, Gary comes along with all the same qualities of George, and Jerry isn’t tempted at all. Perhaps these two will last after all. Relationship Grade: LOVITZ/10
Jason: Elaine thinking that she lost her upper hand with Jake after their break up was enjoyable. Poor Georgie Boy being mislead by Debbie from her Hi vs. Regards. Relationship Grade: SMUGNESS/10
What Worked:
JT: Kramer’s “Hey Pig” line always makes me laugh; Kramer’s headlock on George and slow exit were great; I like that Elaine knew the secret about Gary; The cop’s obsession with the white whale is a fun side plot; George’s “twenty lies” comment was a good one and Gary lying about having cancer may be the worst of the worst when it comes to deception on this show; Jerry immediately sniffing out George’s poker face and George immediately cracking is really good; YOU BE NICE!; Gary in the wig and Jerry angrily showing his fillings; Kramer walking in with the eye patch, falling down and then switching eyes; The cab driver egging Elaine on; The whip conversation is the essence of Seinfeld; Newman as the white whale is great casting and his breakdown and confession to Kramer was great; Elaine’s revenge; Newman’s absurd courtroom breakdown as well as the closing that scene with Kramer taking custody; The Hair Team rep snapping at Jerry as he rips George’s wig; Nice payoff with George’s spot going to Newman; George with the wig at the end is amazing
Aaron: I really dug Kramer gaining an eye patch and turning away from police work for fear of being shot. Elaine’s whole arc is pretty solid as well. George yelling at Jerry to “Be Nice!” always gets a rise out of me. George trying to keep his secret from Jerry is also a tremendous little piece of business. I’d certainly be remiss if I left out Newman’s insta-cry.
Andrew: George’s unfounded pride in his poker face. Jake blatantly admitting he doesn’t want anyone else to have his glasses. The cop’s white whale story about the scofflaw, and the word scofflaw itself. Kramer’s obsession with facial accessories (“I wanna be a pirate”), and depth perception problems. Gary laughing off lying about cancer. Elaine signing a book to get rid of someone. Gary exhibiting his toupee always cracks me up, as does Jerry begrudgingly showing him his fillings. The cabbie agreeing with Elaine that “Revenge is very good”. Kramer and Newman’s “looking over your shoulder” conversation is great.
Jordan: Honestly, not a ton. I thought Kramer was exceptionally odd this time around, and it worked. I do like that Gary casually tells George he never had cancer. In fact, I like Gary altogether. Jon Lovitz is one of those actors incapable of playing a role – he is always just Jon Lovitz. So his role here and your enjoyment depends entirely on your view of Lovitz, and I am a fan.
Jason: Kramer’s friendly headlock he puts on George. Jerry not telling George about Gary’s cancer because of his weak poker face. Kramer considering buying a wheelchair to cruise around in. A nice throwback with Elaine and Jake’s break up over the Jujy Fruits. Elaine’s obsession over finding out where Jake found his glasses. Kramer smoothing things over with Officer Morgan and Kramer not becoming a cop because he’s afraid of being shot. Newman the Scofflaw being referred to as the ‘white whale’. George admitting he’s living like 20 lies. Gary getting George the parking spot. Gary confessing to George that he never had cancer. The return of Cosmo’s trendy trench coat. THAT FREAKIN’ EYE PATCH!!! The eye patch being itchy. Elaine telling Jake that Kramer’s ‘Hi’ was unauthorized. Elaine signing the book for the impatient prick on line. Jerry buing the hair club membership for Gary. Jerry’s struggle to be nice to Gary after George caves and tells him Gary didn’t have cancer. Gary looking at Jerry’s fillings; “Hey, lookee here, you’re loaded!” George name dropping Jon Voight while in his car with Debbie. Those Malaysian glasses! Excellent writing with George almost hitting the guy crossing the street while Officer Morgan had the ‘white whale’ pulled over. Kramer flying out of Monk’s after the crash. Kramer laying into Newman about being the scofflaw. Newman weeping like a little bitch. The return of Lippman. Elaine giving him the glasses. The judge making Newman keep his car in the garage; “Don’t you worry, your honor. He’s in my custody.” Gary not being able to give George the parking spot was a nice tie-in. George trying on the toupee. Jerry’s, “Why don’t you get a pair of white shoes, move down to Miami Beach and get the whole thing over with?” is an all timer for Jerome. Jerry calling out Gary about not having cancer. Lippman and Jake getting into a scuffle over the glasses was the perfect payoff at the end.
What Didn’t Work
JT: Debbie Bibelo is an awful name; For someone that is so obsessed with cleanliness, how does Jerry have so many fillings?; Debbie sucks with everything she says; I know it’s just Jon Lovitz’s style but I thought his overacting was distracting at times
Aaron: I felt the scenes seemed very, very quick in some instances. Like they were trying to cram too much into the episode. Like the first scene with Jarmell and Kramer where we learn about his obsession with the glasses was seriously like two lines long. That feels painfully short for introducing such an important plot point. Brevity is the soul of wit but there’s a limit. I LOATHE Jon Lovitz. He’s awful and his fuchsia shirt can go fuck itself. Please, please PLEASE stop saying “Jack.” Please.
Andrew: Why does Jerry stare at the cashier in the diner? I’ve never understood what that was about.
Jordan: I didn’t care for any of the Jake and Elaine stuff, and felt like she was wasted this episode. George puts his glasses on like a weirdo. Debbie and George felt forced, as did the social commentary on saying hi versus sending regards.
Jason: Debbie should never have gone out with George to begin with. Hi and sending regards are the same thing, sister! The toupee salesman is quote the asshole.
Key Character Debuts
– Gary Fogle
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “I was yelling at the litterbug. I mean this is my town. You don’t throw trash on the streets of my town.” – Kramer
– “Huh, really? How bad? Was he on his death bed?” – George “No, he was on his regular bed.” – Jerry
– “I was so nice to him I almost made myself sick.” – Jerry
– “I have to say, as a glasses wearer I take exception to that. That’s like me buying a wheelchair to cruise around in.” – George “Yeah, I’ve considered that.” – Kramer
– Mr Kramer, let me tell you a story. In nineteen-seventy-nine I ticketed a brown Dodge Diplomat for parking in a Church zone. That fine was never paid, and since then that scofflaw has piled up more parking tickets than anyone in New York City. For sixteen years I pursued him, only to see him give me the slip time and time again. I never got a clean look at his face, but he’s become my ‘white whale’. Mr Kramer, that day was yesterday! But thanks to you, I don’t know if I’ll ever get that chance again!” – Kramer
– “Well, the thing is, I’ve been living a lie.” – Gary “Just one? I’m living like twenty.” – George
– “Kramer, you don’t understand. He made the last contact between us. I had the upper hand in the post-breakup relationship. If he thinks that I said hi, then I lose the upper hand.” – Elaine “It’s like a game of tag.” – Jerry
– “Did you know he was so worried about losing more hair if he had to get chemo treatment, I bought him an unlimited gift certificate at the Hair Team For Men, just to put his mind at ease?” – Jerry
– “You look like a pirate.” – Jerry “I wanna be a pirate.” – Kramer
– “Well, you know in the old days, when the senators didn’t vote the way that the party leaders wanted ’em to… they whipped them. You better vote the way we want you to, or there’s gonna be big trouble.” – Kramer
– “Ah, don’t play dumb. It’s me, Cosmo.” – Kramer “All right, so it’s me. So what?” – Newman “You don’t think I know how you’re feeling, every second of the day? Looking over your shoulder to see if someone’s coming up from behind. Sitting alone at night, knowing they could be closing in.” – Kramer “I can’t sleep, I tell you! I can’t sleep!” – Newman
– “No, I don’t think you’re being helpful! I think you’re being disruptive, and you make it very difficult for your friend here to improve his life!” – Salesman “Hey! I’m trying to prevent my friend from becoming one of those guys people snicker at behind their back, because they look ridiculous! No offense to you personally!” – Jerry All you people with hair think you’re so damn superior! You have no idea what it’s like. You ever look down in the bottom of your tub and see a fist fulla hair? How’d you like to start your day with that?!” – Salesman
Oddities & Fun Facts
– Gary Fogle is portrayed by Jon Lovitz
– Elaine references her bad breakup with Jake Jarmel from The Opposite (S5, E22)
– Kramer’s “I want to be a pirate” is a call back to The Puffy Shirt (S5, E3)
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: I just wasn’t feeling this one and it felt like a step back from their recent efforts. Nothing seemed to really kick into the next gear and there was lots of potential that they never quite cashed in on. As I mentioned above, Lovitz’s overacting took me out of his scenes and only George in the wig and the crazed salesman really made up for it. Kramer’s patch was great but it seemed like they had this fun idea for Newman to be a scofflaw and then sputtered through the storyline until the payoff. The returns of Jarmel and Lippman were good and Elaine had a nice solid episode. Nothing really popped here though and it was one of the first real disappoints for me here in season six. Final Grade: 6/10
Aaron: This is a hard one to rank, I really enjoyed Elaine and Kramer but everything else felt flat or downright enraging. Ranking and writing are hard. Final Grade: 5/10
Andrew: There’s some stuff I really enjoy here, primarily Jon Lovitz and the word scofflaw. But the stories are pretty average overall, and the ending doesn’t do much for me. But most importantly, I just didn’t find this episode as funny as the rest of the season. Final Grade: 6/10
Jordan: This one isn’t bad, but it suffers from being totally forgettable. I have probably seen this one ten times and forgot Newman was the scofflaw, which speaks to my point. I laughed a few times at Kramer and Gary, but nothing was quotable or worth going out of your way for. Really can’t get past Elaine being given a dud story either. Final Grade: 5/10
Jason: This episode held up A LOT better than I remembered. Twenty three minutes of pure enjoyment from Jon Lovitz with every plot tying in beautifully. George sitting in the chair getting fit for a toupee is such an iconic moment. Newman being the scofflaw was tremendous as well. Lots of laughs all throughout gives it a thumbs up from me. Final Grade: 8/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Feb 2, 2016 8:10:57 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Beard” (S6, E16)
** Episodes 14 & 15 of Season Six were a two part clip show special to commemorate Episode 100.***
Best Character
JT: A nice strong bounce back here by the whole crew. Everyone was on point but I thought this was Elaine’s episode from start to finish. I loved her tormenting of George the whole way through, right up until her chucking the wig out of the window to end George’s run as a narcissist. Then she had a killer performance at the opera, nearly turned Robert and then summed everything up beautifully to close it out. Nice work, Lainey.
Aaron: If for one moment it has to be Elaine. When she’s finally pushed too far and wrestles George’s hair of his head and screams “I don’t like this thing, and this is what I’m doing with it!” she enters the all time pantheon of Seinfeld memories.
Andrew: I enjoyed Kramer the most. His excitement at being in a police lineup is great, especially when he starts giving hints. He does a great job of backing George and his toupee, and the “you blew it!” at the end is great. And I admire his willingness to set up a friend with a woman he was once involved with. He truly does lift my spirit.
Jordan: It’s another case of choosing between the most consistent throughout the episode versus the best moment. Jerry was solid the entire time, mocking George for his hair hat and really just bringing the snark. But the best moment was easily Elaine snapping and flinging George’s toupee out the window. I think I will go with Jerry here as he really delivered an all star performance, and he HATES that Michael for being so smug.
Jason: Lots of choices to choose from here, but I’ll go with Jerry. He was on fire with his one-liners throughout the episode. From giving George shit about the toupee to confessing that he’s a regular watcher of Melrose Place. A very enjoyable performance from Jerome.
Best Storyline
JT: I won’t necessarily say it is the best, but Jerry’s issues with admitting his Melrose fandom is one of my favorite all time storylines. The absurdity is ripe but it is so damn relatable, especially to a lifelong wrestling and 90210 fan. I went through the same issues with both right around the time this aired, so I felt Jerome’s pain. Also, the lie detector scene is brilliance. “Did Jane’s finance kidnap Sydney and take her to Las Vegas? And if so, did she enjoy it?”
Aaron: The plight of fake hair and the misery it induces. George is flying high, perhaps too close to the sun in Icarusian fashion. His hubris seems to know no bounds as he rejects a woman for being folically challenged. Justice is swift though as he plummets back down to earth as said woman, in turn, rejects him for being as bald as a bat. Not an expression? It is now.
Andrew: I love the Melrose place stuff: Jerry’s love for the show, plus his unwillingness to admit it, is perfect for the character. And I completely identify with sticking to a lie because it’s too trivial to admit to. Jerry struggling through the lie detector test is a great payoff, and the closing line is a classic.
Jordan: I never watched Melrose Place (give me a lie detector! I’ll prove it!), but I still love that storyline. Jerry going to George to beat the system, the questions asked, Jerry finally snapping, then the entire gang watching together at the end. A really good story that touches on guilty pleasures.
Jason: Elaine being a beard and trying to convert a gay man had it’s moments, but I have to go with George being set up with Denise, who happens to be a bald woman.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: If you know an acquaintance has a preference that differs from your own, should you try to sway them to look away from their very being to acquiesce your sexual desires? Why the hell not. But only once their proclivities have been generally known. Convincing one to hide who they are for your own gratification would be quite wrong.
Aaron: If you’ve seen people on tippy toes have you seen the ballet? As someone who has been to a whopping two (2) ballets I can unequivocally say yes. Ballet is clearly high art. This was proven when I went to see production of Romeo and Juliet. Not only was I bored to dinosaurs by the entire thing but the moment when young Romeo smashed his genitals into the corner of the set to kill himself made me seriously doubt my ability to go on as a living human being. Watch a child try to steal cookies. Watch a cat stretch. Leave the ballet to the high artists like Jumanji. Not a person? Is now.
Andrew: Is it OK to suggest storing casserole in a plastic bag? No. What the hell is Jerry talking about, just dumping it in there? Even if he means wrapping the dish in a plastic bag, I’m slightly horrified.
Jordan: Should George be turned off by a bald woman even though he is bald? Yes, he has every right to be. I don’t think it’s shallow – physical attraction is usually the first thing that draws us to someone. If I had a mustache, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t find women with mustaches unattractive.
Jason: When you lend tupperware to someone, should it be returned to the owner? Absolutely! Homeless guy she be grateful enough that Kramer had the heart to even offer him food.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: Sex. Shopping. Opera. Melrose Place. Bald. What more do you need? Relationship Grade: 10/10
Aaron: I think the big mistake people make when they look at Romeo and Juliet is that it really isn’t about their love. Sure they happen to be the lynch pin to the whole fiasco, but really it poses a pretty deep question: Can love overcome hate? R and J proves that yes, love can, but it comes with a terrible price. Also Tybalt is not a bad person, nor is Paris and if you stage them as such you’re doing the play a disservice. Relationship Grade: 2 hours traffic/10
Andrew: I think Elaine laid it on a little thick as the beard, but her heart was in the right place. And her desperate, misguided attempt at the conversion is enjoyable. I really feel for Jerry being doomed by an offhanded lie. Relationship Grade: Thirty, forty-five minutes a week/10
Jordan: Even gay men can not resist the alluring siren known as Elaine Benes…at least not permanently. Elaine faulting her not being able to handle the equipment properly is a bad excuse in my book. Professionals don’t blame equipment for their failures. Elaine just needs to practice more. Someone call Newman! Relationship Grade: EQUIPMENT MANAGER/10
Jason: If there’s any woman out there who can convert a gay man, it’s Elaine Marie Benes. Minus being bald, Denise is quite attractive. The second she took her hat off, George should have ripped his toupee off and nailed her on the booth at Monk’s. Jerry really blew it with Cathy. She’s a hot cop and all he had to do was admitted that he’s a Melrose Place junkie. Relationship Grade: Ba-Ba-Boom-Chicka-Boom-Chicka-Boom-Boom-Boom/10
What Worked:
JT: Elaine failing at chopsticks was a solid little open; The Beard premise is a good, original sitcom story; I like Kramer’s ongoing obsession with Chinese that always pops up; George’s super wig-fueled confidence; Geogre and Elaine dueling was great; Kramer is a good egg; Kramer dictating the sketch artist is pure Kramer; Nice call back for George with the pouty lips too; Elaine’s sell job to Robert’s boss topped by the huge kiss was great; The euphemism discussion with the teams and equipment was cute; Jerry trolling poor George about not mentioning his toupee to Denise; The lineup scene always makes me laugh, with Kramer turning the wrong way and doing the smirk and dance; As a lifelong wrestling fan, I enjoyed Jerry dodging admitting his love for Melrose Place; Jerry shaking the drink was good; George’s “SHE’S BALD” is an epic line and that whole scene is an all timer, capped with Elaine chucking the rug; The homeless guy finding the wig and getting Kramer booked is a great payoff; Elaine’s Rick Rude celebration dance; The lie detector scene is so damn good; George getting dumped by the bald woman; Awesome payoff at the end with the crew all watching Melrose Place together; Kramer telling the lineup regular to “straighten up and fly right” was good
Aaron: I love Elaine’s irrational hatred of George’s toupee which is wonderfully balanced by Kramer’s love/lust. To think the K-Man never realized what an attractive man George was before. George going buck wild fussing about his hair was great as was his argument with Elaine about WHO is bald. Jerry calling George about his “little hat” has the perfect amount of smarm. His commentary about the nuisance shaking a bottle is as spot on as Kramer declaring “With a piece of TupperWear you just assume.” Kramer summing up everyone’s failures before they sit down to watch Melrose Place feels like a tight little capper. I also am really digging the fact that the coffee shop has become the place to speak about the problems facing mankind. When Elaine suggests conversion and Jerry declares it uncharted territory you really feel like they’re getting to the bottom of something besides a big salad.
Andrew: The “team” metaphor for sexuality is fantastic, and full of great lines. The “access to the equipment” angle will be stuck in my head forever, and the “Are you that desperate?” conversation is excellent. I also enjoy Jerry’s weapon-centric flirting with the cop. Elaine’s righteous anger when throwing out George’s toupee is classic. And his relief at going back to his neurotic insecure self is perfect. “I got rejected by a bald woman” closes the storyline perfectly.
Jordan: Wig George is great, and I wish he salvaged the wig so it could return from time to time. The way he saunters around so confidently is great. Elaine and Jerry talking about what team you play for was done in a fun way. I liked the twist of George being set up with a bald woman. As mentioned earlier, Jerry was terrific this time around, and I loved him suggesting George come clean about his “hat”. Elaine throwing it out the window in a rage was awesome, awesome stuff. I really get a kick out of Kramer in the lineup motioning to the guy next to him. The entire lie detector scene was well done, and the questions were awesome, made better by Jerry clearly having a response to them but trying to compose himself to beat the machine.
Jason: Elaine struggling to use chop sticks. Jerry never being to the ballet, but has seen people on their tip toes. Kramer thinking George looks fantastic in the toupee. George thinking Elaine missed the boat with him. Homeless man’s, “where am I going?’ line always cracks me up. Kramer arguing with the homeless man about the tupperware; “the patented burp, it locks in freshness.” Elaine grabbing Robert and kissing him at The Met. Elaine falling for Robert; ‘they’re only comfortable with their equipment.” Jerry telling Elaine that’s she’s venturing into uncharted waters. Jerry setting up his date Cathy; ‘first date, no weapons.” George fluffing his toupee with a hair pick. Jerry being able to spot George’s “bird’s nest” two blocks away. Kramer dumping trash into homeless guy’s coffee. All three times Kramer was in the lineup were incredible; “You again? You’re a slippery one!’ Jerry acting like he doesn’t watch Melrose Place when Cathy name drops the show. Jerry admitting he was embarrassed about watching the show to Elaine; “Sydney and Michael and Jane” “…and Billy and Jake and Allison.” George telling the gang about his date with Denise; “SHE’S BALD?” “SHEEEE’S BALD!” George’s Larry Fine line. Jerry asking George advice on how to beat the polygraph test; “It’s not a lie if you believe it.” Elaine grabbing the toupee off of George’s head, followed by her rage and the tossing it out of the window. Homeless guy finding the toupee on the street. Elaine’s Rick Rude hip thrust. Elaine trying to seduce Robert. Robert going back to being gay and Elaine not being able to compete with the equipment access. Jerry caving about watching Melrose Place during the polygraph test. The big payoff at the end with the entire gang watching Melrose Place together.
What Didn’t Work
JT: Lou needs a haircut; Uncle Rico stealing the Tupperware is a pretty dick move; Tierney has a really weird delivery and cadence; Jerry’s pants on fire line was cringeworthy; So does Jerry tape Melrose Place or is he just never hanging with his friends during that time every week in this pre-DVR world?
Aaron: I didn’t love the sub plot with the lie detector test for watching Melrose Place. Although there is something endearing about the three men who clearly get together every week to watch the show and exclude their one female friend.
Andrew: George’s anger about the bald woman is off-putting. That’s clearly the point, but he’s a bit too belittling for my taste.
Jordan: I thought the Tupperware theft was stupid and didn’t really like any of the stuff with the homeless guy.
Jason: Lou’s hideous shirt when he’s compiling the sketch of Denise. Elaine being a lazy ass for not wanting to shake her drink. Robert’s boss and his wife seem like two stuck up pricks.
Key Character Debuts
N/A
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “No, I never realized what an attractive man he is. He is a looker, that one.” – George
– “You look ridiculous in that thing.” – Elaine “Is that so? Or could it be that you’re just a *little* bit worried that you may have missed the boat?” – George
– “You know I just thought of something. I know this gorgeous woman, she called me up this morning, she’s moving into the city, and she asked me if I know of anyone she could meet. Now you can go out with her.” – Kramer “Well what about me?” – Jerry “No I think he’s got you beat buddy.” – Kramer
– “Where did the Chinese learn to cook like that?” – Homeless Man
– “Well believe me this didn’t happen overnight. Robert’s not exactly a *one* *woman* *man*, if you know what I mean. No sirree Bob. Sure, I mean in a lot of ways, he’s a typical guy, he likes his sports, but he counters that side with the side you see here tonight at the ballet, or the pleasure he gets in watching Ms. Liza Minelli belt out a few choice numbers. It’s those two halves of his personality that just come together to make him the very special guy that he is.” – Elaine
– “And we discover yet another talent. Posing as a girlfriend for homosexuals.” – Jerry
– “Because when you join that team it’s not a whim. He likes his team. He’s set with that team.” – Jerry “We’ve got a good team.” – Elaine “Yeah, we do. We do have a good team.” – Jerry “Why can’t he play for us?” – Elaine “They’re only comfortable with *their* equipment.” – Jerry “We just got along *so* great.” – Elaine “Of course you did. Everyone gets along great when there’s no possibility of sex.” – Jerry
– “I knew this was going to happen. I just made a delicious casserole, but now it won’t keep because I have no Tupperware.” – Kramer “What about a plastic bag?” – Jerry “You must be kidding.” – Kramer “What is the difference?” – Jerry “The patented burp, Jerry. It locks in freshness.” – Kramer
– “Are you kidding? I could spot that bird’s nest two blocks away.” – Jerry
– “You mean this whole time we could have been discussing Sydney and Michael and Jane…” – Elaine “And Billy and Jake and Allison, yes we could have discussed it.” – Jerry
– “Hey you know what? I have access to one of the most deceitful, duplicitous, deceptive minds of our time. Who better to advise me?” – Jerry
– “How so? I’ll tell you how so. She’s bald!” – George “What do you mean bald?” – Elaine “What do you think I mean bald? Bald. Bald bald.” – George “She’s bald?” – Jerry “She’s bald.” – George “Oh come on.” – Elaine “Oh come on? No come on. She took off her hat and there she was…hello. It was like I was looking at myself in the mirror.” – George “Well maybe she got a haircut or something.” – Elaine “Let me tell you something. No one walks into a beauty parlor and says “Give me the Larry Fine.”” – George
– “I tell you, when she threw that toupee out the window, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I feel like my old self again. Totally inadequate, completely insecure, paranoid, neurotic, it’s a pleasure.” – George “Good to have you back.” – Jerry “And you know what else I’ve decided to do? I’m going to keep seeing the bald woman.” – George “She’s as good as anybody else.” – Jerry “Her scalp was clean. She had a nice skull. There just wasn’t a lot of hair on it.” – George “Yeah you’ve had like a religious awakening. You’re like a bald-again.” – Jerry
– “Jerry, just remember. It’s not a lie… if you believe it.” – George
– “Well it’s a lesson for the kids out there. Anything’s possible. Jeromy, I have *hit* the jackpot. The perfect man. Nothing but sex and shopping.” – Elaine
– “Did Jane sleep with Michael again?” – Cop “Yes! That stupid idiot. He left her for Kimberly, he slept with her sister. He tricked her into giving him half her business, and then she goes ahead and sleeps with him again. I mean she’s crazy. How could she do something like that? Oh that Jane, she makes me so mad.” – Jerry
– “Well here’s the thing. Being a woman, I only really have access to the, uh… equipment, what, thirty, forty-five minutes a week. And that’s on a good week. How can I be expected to have the same expertise as people who *own* this equipment, and have access to it twenty-four hours a day, their entire lives.” – Elaine “You can’t. That’s why they lose very few players.” – Jerry
– “Oh that Michael, I hate him, he’s just so smug.” – Jerry
Oddities & Fun Facts
– John Gries plays the homeless man; He is better known as Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite and many other films and TV roles
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: Ah, it is good to be back. After a blip last week, the goodness returns here with one of my favorites of the season. Things cruised along and all of the storylines were pretty unique and each had nice payoffs as well. The Melrose stuff was so good and I crack up at the lie detector scene every damn time I see it. “I hate that Michael, he is so smug” was a go to line for me for years. The delivery of it was so damn good. Also, Elaine was dominant and backed right up by the rest of the crew as well. Lots of classic stuff here, especially the scene where George reveals Denise was bald and Elaine snaps and ends the charade once and for all. She certainly earned the right to do that Rick Rude swivel dance. ‘YOU’RE BALD!” Final Grade: 8/10
Aaron: I’m torn on this one. On one hand I really loved the wig stuff and all of Elaine’s escapades. There were more than a few laugh out loud moments, but the script just didn’t feel like a tight Seinfeld script. It was still a great way to spend a half hour but the writing keeps it from being an all timer. This one’s a bridesmaid never a suicidal cow. Final Grade: 7/10
Andrew: I’ve always liked this episode. The Melrose Place angle is a lot of fun, and the “switching teams” storyline made a big impression on me. Every character has something interesting going on, and the dialogue is excellent. The stories don’t tie together as perfectly as in other great episodes, but that’s a relatively minor complaint. This episode gets well-represented in clip shows, and I do think that should count for something. Final Grade: 8/10
Jordan: This one snuck up on me! I have obviously seen it, and remember moments, but didn’t have a crystal clear remembrance of it. I really liked it! Beyond the toupee being thrown out the window, I liked Elaine really pushing hard to convert the beard, AND SUCCEEDING! Then failing in the long run. The Melrose Place stuff was goofy and I could see why some may not enjoy it, but it worked for me. Thankfully Jerry lives in New York, because if he took that test in Manitowoc County, he would now be in jail for eight rapes. Final Grade: 8/10
Jason: I really enjoyed this one. A few iconic moments with the toupee and George dating a bald woman. The Melrose Place stuff was excellent and tied in well with how hot that show was when this episode originally aired. All members of the core four had strong showings here as we head to a memorable stretch of this season. Final Grade: 8/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Mar 15, 2016 2:17:17 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Kiss Hello” (S6, E17)
Best Character
JT: This was pretty good around and little bit parts like Morty and Julio were sharp as well but I thought Jerry had the best overall showing. He had great lines and a lot of ups and downs as he dodged kisses left and right before finally ending up as an outcast in his own home.
Aaron: By hook or by crook George Costanza managed to get “delicate genius” over as a saying in a mere 22 minutes. Sure he’s lying about his desire to participate in the flamenco but don’t mention it too loud, he’ll hear you. That being said if he does come over to confront you, simply kiss your neighbor until he sidles right out of the room.
Andrew: Jerry is my favorite in this one. Seeing him grow weary of social norms regarding greetings and small talk is very relatable, and I think he does a good job portraying the frustration, whether he’s getting too much interaction or not enough.
Jordan: Feels like I haven’t picked Kramer in a while. His plan for photos of all the tenants was absurd, yet it worked, which sums up the Kramer character in a nutshell. I also liked that Elaine’s plan backfired completely and Kramer liked Wendy’s hair. Taking a photo of himself by mistake was the cherry on top.
Jason: It’s episodes like this where everyone is on point and I can’t choose just one person. As I have a few times in prior episodes, the entire cast wins this week. The core four were all on their A game, The building tenants all turning their back on Jerry was excellent. Nana losing her mind and ratting out Leo. Wendy nailed it as the intolerable delicate genius and Morty was a force of nature figuring out the interest rate on the money that Leo owes Helen.
Best Storyline
JT: I will go with Jerry’s anti-kissing campaign since it includes both the Wendy stuff and the issues with his fellow tenants. I did come close to going with the race track debt just because Morty was so awesome as he calculated all of the interest and potential losses.
Aaron: I’m a big sucker whenever Seinfeld plays the “Pettiness of the elderly” card. Uncle Leo’s reaction as he denies he owes Helen any money is pretty perfectly priceless. And while you may be annoyed and outraged by that alliteration understand your outrage pales in comparison to Morty Seinfeld’s. “He’s not getting away with this.” Indeed you petty old curmudgeon.
Andrew: I love the apartment building greeting storyline. Kramer’s attempt to bring some civility to people’s lives is so well intentioned, but has the unintended consequence of irritating Jerry’s growing discomfort with social greetings, until Jerry feels compelled to make a doomed attempt at making society conform to him. I think it’s kind of brilliant, dramatically speaking, and quite funny too.
Jordan: I enjoyed Kramer’s stupid photo idea a lot. Everyone seemed thrilled to have polaroids of them on a wall, and a true utopia was being formed in that hallway. Jerome tried his best to ruin it, but PhotoWallOpolis would not be moved.
Jason: Again, a tough chose here, but I’m gonna go with Kramer’s building tenant picture program. There’s no limit to what ideas Cosmo comes up with and this one ranks towards the very top.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: If your friend has a really embarrassing haircut, should you tell them so? Yes. Always. They need to know how bafflingly stupid they look. I get this is easier for guys, but Wendy looked terrible and Elaine or that stupid receptionist should have said something sooner.
Aaron: When dealing with an injury, is simply applying dry heat and ice a lot of trouble? While these may seem like simple and reasonable directions, the effort you have to put in is way more than any injured person has any interest in. How the hell do you create dry heat in your home? They’re assuming you have one of those damn magic bean sacks, they’re also assuming you haven’t planted the beans in the ground in hopes of treasure. Then you have to freeze water. It’s too much. Anyone who has the gall to suggest this absurd course of action should have their wrists broken.
Andrew: Is it OK to drop someone off a few blocks from her apartment? I think this is one of those “only if they offer” situations. It’s one thing to prompt someone with a “is it ok if …”, but demanding your friend carry stuff for three blocks for the sake of your own convenience? That’s messed up.
Jordan: What lengths should one go to in order to cover up that they owe someone 50 dollars? is having an old woman sent to a nursing home too far? i say it’s not far enough. Leo should have silenced Nana… FOREVER.
Jason: If one of the elderly relatives is losing their mind, is throwing them in a home to keep them quiet the right move? Bad move, Leo! Pay up! Kissing people hello is fine if you know them well. But, if you hardly know the person, a hand shake or head nod works just fine.
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: Kramer finally shows his affection for Jerry with some hot PDA action. George catches them in the act and not surprisingly bottles up his feelings. Those feelings will spill over someday, Georgie Boy. Best to express them now. Hello, indeed. Relationship Grade: PDA/10
Aaron: There was merely a hint of it here but in no uncertain terms should Elaine and Kramer ever date. The fabric of our society is already riddled with tears and Cosmo perhaps slipping it past Benes’ goalkeeper would not only shatter us but plunge us into another dark age. I’m bringing back the numbers! Relationship Grade:0/10
Andrew: An uncharacteristically relationship-free episode. Relationship Grade: You should be thanking me for liberating you from your world of loneliness and isolation/10
Jordan: Finally, after nearly six full seasons, the sexual tension between Jerry and Kramer reaches its tipping point. The kiss between two men is abruptly shaken up by the appearance of a third, clearly heartbroken man. Relationship Grade: GAY TRIANGLE/10
Jason: Kramer should plow Wendy until she shakes like a piggy bank and George’s $75 falls out of her. Relationship Grade: Cash or Check/10
What Worked:
JT: Poor Nana waiting on Jerry to have a pointless lunch with George before she can eat her ketchup; I love the first kiss hello from Wendy after Jerry tees it all up for George; Jerry comparing Wendy’s haircut to a picture in an old high school yearbook was great, as is the Kramer plan; I love how Nana called up Uncle Leo after Jerry no showed and him demanding Jerry kiss her hello was a funny touch; Leo’s nervous laugh tipping off Jerry about the $50; Kramer’s awful cover with the will, Jerry’s “you’re robbing me” and Elaine flirting with Kramer to get him back over in a row; Morty immediately compounding the interest on the $50; Jerry dodging Wendy’s kiss hello with the refrigerator door and his proposal for a fondle hello; Kramer taking Jerry’s awful picture; Kramer loving Wendy’s hair and then botching the picture; George is so damn on point about the bullshit cancellation policy and I love when he shoves it back in the receptionist’s face, including the click noise; The photo wall being Jerry’s nightmare; Leo locking Nana in a home to shut her up over $50; Jerry’s rant on family and Kramer kissing him is epic; Morty kills it all during this one; Julio nails his big line as well; I love the payoff at the end with George’s great hearing after Jerry mentioned it earlier and then Elaine burying the dagger with the hair; Jeff hamming it up with his “great idea” line, looking right at Jerry
Aaron: The kiss hello as an entire concept is pretty brilliant in it’s truthfulness. I loathe these little social contracts we make with one another and will always delight at the show destroying them. George claiming to be down to only one kiss hello actually felt like a small victory in my heart. Jerry painfully having to kiss every single one of his neighbors was great but comparing himself to Richard Dawson put the whole sequence over the top for me. Jerry’s neighbors tuning on him in the most unreasonable of fashions is a sweet topper to a strong story. Elaine suggesting that perhaps we move to an intercourse hello system, while ridiculous, could one day be the utopia in which we live. Everything with Kramer worked in this one. Even when they sit down and try to plan a meeting between Kramer and Wendy, the K-Man’s hilarious shadow looms large. I love when he outright admits he’s searching for a picture with a cool “You’ve got that straight,” and I adore his inability to use a camera. While we may never attain our intercourse utopia, Kramer’s friendlier society really is something we should strive for. There’s one more little thing I’d like to point out: When Uncle Leo is over at Nana’s and there’s a knock at the door there’s a brief look that Leo gives the door that I can only sum up as suspicious contempt. It’s fantastic.
Andrew: Jerry’s standup bit about our reactions to hair on/off the head is my favorite in a while. George’s unprompted Flamenco obsession is very character appropriate, and I think he just invented squeeze ketchup. I love the idea of using Kramer as weaponized criticism delivery system. It’s always good to see Uncle Leo, and his nervous laugh about the $50 is great. Kramer’s half-assed cover lie when rifling through Jerry’s apartment is fantastic, as is his reaction to Elaine’s “I just want to see you again”. I really enjoyed Elaine’s stunned silence to the “Is there anything wrong with him” question about Kramer. George’s reaction to Kramer kissing Jerry is classic, and I’m surprised to find myself on board with his attempt to turn the tables on the 24-hour-cancellation policy.
Jordan: I enjoy Nana and Leo. Jerry fighting his uncle over who gets to open a ketchup bottle was silly in a good way. I also love Leo covering up a $50 payment for decades, and Morty’s repeated calculations of how much that is worth now is a great touch. I like Jerry’s efforts to escape the lips of Wendy by shoving his head in the fridge and freezer. Kramer’s photo quest was such a stupid idea, and the fact that everyone loved it but Jerry was awesome, as was everyone turning on Jerry for refusing kisses. George and his cancellation battle was a nice way to keep George involved, and I like George smugly stating he has a 24 hour notice to the secretary. Elaine hating Wendy’s hair was well deserved, and her plotting to introduce Kramer to her nearly worked. Kramer’s reaction at meeting Wendy was excellent. Jerry’s wall photo was terrific.
Jason: Nana calling Jerry to open a bottle of ketchup is such a great grandmother thing to do. Elaine and Jerry’s plan to set up Kramer to say something to Wendy about her hair and it backfiring on them. Kramer roaming through Jerry’s apartment for a picture of him. Jerry hiding behind the fridge to dodge a kiss from Wendy; “Oh, look at that, I’m all out of Klondike bars.” Kramer bursting into Jerry’s apartment to snap a picture of him. the camera flash going off in Kramer’s face. Morty’s obsession over figuring out the interest rate on the money Leo owes Helen; “No proof? We’ll get him. He’s a crook, sooner or later, he’ll slip up.” George’s rant at Wendy’s receptionist; “The delicate genius has a policy.” Elaine dragging her skis down the street. Kramer greeting tenants in the building; “HEY…STEVE!” Mary’s rant to Jerry. “Nobody wants you here, NOBODY!” Buddy ending up being in the same home as Nana. Jerry calling out Leo about the money; “YOU’RE BUSTED!
What Didn’t Work
JT: The debate over squeeze ketchup always bothered me, as the squeeze bottle was released in 1983 by Heinz, have they never seen one?; Wendy’s hair…woof; Why is Wendy so obsessed with kissing Jerry hello to the point that she would stalk him at the door; What the hell is a chiropodist; I hate that damn receptionist; Joan sucks too; Wendy is a bitch with dumb hair
Aaron: Elaine is shunted into the background a bit too much in this one. She shined brightly as she struggled with her skis but I could have dealt with more of her. What kind of a piece of work is Wendy? From charging your friends full price to her archaic 24 hour cancellation policy (which not being two ways could elicit another rant from me) to the capper of not bothering to drive three measly blocks for a friend she deserves to be right in that cell with our foursome at the end of the series.
Andrew: I have no complaints, for once.
Jordan: Not enough Elaine here for me. Also, Wendy is a pretty rotten friend, dropping Elaine off three blocks away and making her drag her equipment home, then charging her a visit fee.
Jason: Shouldn’t Jerry have gone to open the bottle of ketchup for Nana before he went to grab a bite to eat? C’mon, Jerome! Wendy has some balls dropping Elaine off three blocks away from her building.
Key Character Debuts
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “Boy, I wish the flamenco was popular here.” – George “Yeah? Would you do it?” – Jerry “Yes, I think I would.” – George Well, I knew you’d have an affinity for it, because it’s the dance of a very proud people.” – Jerry
– “I love these people, you can’t ask ’em questions. They’re so mentally gifted that we mustn’t disturb the delicate genius. Unless it’s in the confines of an office. When huge sums of money are involved, then the delicate genius can be disturbed!” – George
– “She looks like something out of an old high school yearbook.” – Jerry
– “Well, I’m making out my will. Oh, I got a big slice of dough for you, buddy. And you too, Elaine, I haven’t forgotten you.” – Kramer
– “Oh, come on, Jerry. If everybody knew everybody, we wouldn’t have the problems we have in the world today. Well, you don’t rob somebody, if you know their name!” – Kramer “You’re robbing me.” – Jerry
– “Six hundred and sixty-three dollars and forty-five cents. And that’s figuring conservatively at five percent interest, over fifty-three years, compounded quarterly. Or, if you put it into a ten-year T-bill.” – Morty
– “It’s the obligation, you know? As soon as this person comes in, you know you have to do this. I mean, if you could, say, touch a breast as part of the kiss hello, then I think I could see the value in it a little better.” – Jerry “How ’bout an intercourse hello? How would that be?” – Elaine “Elaine, now you’re being ridiculous.” – Jerry
– “For putting my picture up on that wall! I’m like Richard Dawson down there now. And every person I see engages me in this long, boring, tedious, conversation. I can’t even get out of the building!” – Jerry “You should be thanking me for liberating you from your world of loneliness and isolation. Now, you’re part of a family.” – Kramer “Family?” – Jerry “Yeah.” – Kramer You think I want another family? My father’s demanding my uncle pay interest on fifty dollars he was supposed to give my mother in nineteen-forty-one, and my uncle put my nana in a home to try and shut her up! And I tell you another thing, Cosmo Kramer, whatever you wanna be called. The kissing thing is over. There’s no more kissing, and I don’t care what the consequences are.” – Jerry
– “I tell you. If you were hitch-hiking, you’d never get into a car with someone with a hairdo like that.” – Jerry
– “Well, I think it is! It’s a big building, Seinfeld, maybe I’ll get to it someday. After I take care of the people who’re civil to each other.” – Julio
Oddities & Fun Facts
– Wendy is portrayed by actress Wendie Malick, who would star on Just Shoot Me soon after
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: This one has aged quite well. It sped along and hit no resistance along the way. Even the little bit parts and scenes connected and the main storylines were a perfect blend of inanity and realism. I could relate to each of these scenarios but they unfolded in the usual madness of the Seinfeld universe. And I like to think Morty is still sitting at that table banging away at that calculator, marking down every last cent that Leo’s cheapness has cost him. That crook! Also, George’s issues with the cancellation policy were a home run for me. That shit wasn’t even posted! I wouldn’t pay her shit. Hello, again, hello! Final Grade: 8/10
Aaron: I laughed quite a bit during this one. We have some strong performances from basically everyone and tight storylines to boot. My only complaint is that the Uncle Leo larceny ( no idea if that’s correct) isn’t in any way connected to the rest. That and a lack of iconic moments leave this one firmly in the very good/almost great episodes. Final Grade: 8/10
Andrew: I really enjoyed this episode. I don’t think of it as one of the more famous ones, but I find myself really appreciating it this time around. It’s really well plotted out, I find the storylines interesting, and the dialogue is really solid. I think it’s just missing one of those big, classic, clip-show moments; Kramer kissing Jerry comes closest, but we’ve seen much better. This episode doesn’t quite reach the heights the series is capable of, but I really enjoy it. Final Grade: 8/10
Jordan: I really dug this one, as it snuck up on me. It’s certainly not one you hear mentioned when talking about great Seinfeld episodes, but this one was seamless with it’s stories and lots of laughs. I was pleasantly surprised with how much I enjoyed it. If there are any complaints, it’s simply that it isn’t an all-timer and didn’t produce any legendary lines or moments. Final Grade: 9/10
Jason: This was a smooth and silky twenty three minutes with more laughs than I remembered. Wendy played her role perfectly and it was great to see Nana back. Morty crunching numbers is always a treat. Going into this episode I was thinking a final grade of an 8 was going to be expected, but I really enjoyed it from start to finish and think we can bump it up a notch. Final Grade: 9/10
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Mar 15, 2016 2:17:38 GMT
Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch – “The Doorman” (S6, E18)
Best Character
JT: I am not sure where to even start on this one. The Doorman was aces and one of the best one-off characters we have ever seen. Jerry and Elaine were perfect teaming up to take down the scheming Doorman before finally being caught red handed. Kramer was top notch in creating the Bro and using it to save himself from a beating. And of course, the Costanzas were so fantastic. Frank doing the cha-cha in a bra, exasperated George trying to process living with his crossdressing dad while also fretting over his own chest and then Estelle just icing them all at the end. The Costanzas take this one, but it was quite the race.
Aaron: Here on the Seinfeld rewatch we rarely talk about dignity and it’s a damn shame. The dignity that Frank Costanza demonstrates as he dances to the cha cha while trying on his support device should be the lesson on human behavior we send to aliens when we make contact. It’s Frank Costanza. It’s always Frank Costanza.
Andrew: Frank Costanza is so great in this episode. The scene where George and Estelle walk in on him trying on a bra while doing the cha-cha is an all-timer. And he’s great throughout: his scenes with Kramer are fantastic, and even his handshake makes me laugh. Frank is the best.
Jordan: All the guest stars this time came up huge – the Doorman, Frank, even Poppy! I would like to give it to the Doorman knowing this is his only shot, but he picked the wrong episode. Frank Costanza is an all time great, and this is some of his best work. He coined the phrase mansiere (much less ethnic) and did the cha-cha. J. Edgar Hoover would be proud.
Jason: Kramer and Big Frank had great showings here, but this episode belongs to George. His reaction when Frank opens his shirt is priceless and his displeasure with having to share a bed with his father at the end is an all timer.
Best Storyline
JT: I don’t know how to choose. How can you do it? The Doorman was flawless, but THE BRO? How do you not pick that? My God!
Aaron: I enjoy theatre of the absurd so the mind fuck that the doorman perpetrates on Jerry and Elaine takes this one in a walk. You guys feel that? That’s his dick in your mind.
Andrew: The Bro/Manssiere storyline is amazing. It’s a ridiculously silly idea, but works so perfectly. And this is entirely anecdotal, but I feel like it’s the one thing I’ve most heard brought up from the series. I love the doorman stuff, but this one is a classic.
Jordan: Here’s where I can give the Doorman his proper credit. How do you talk to a doorman, and was Jerry treating him poorly? I don’t really think so, but I do believe this: The couch theft was orchestrated by him.
Jason: The title plot held up very well, but Kramer and Frank’s Bro/Mansiere idea is so iconic and delivers big time from the second Frank exposed his man boobs.
Ethical Dilemma of the Week
JT: How long was Jerry really committed to standing watch at the door? Was he supposed to stay there all night? He probably should have alerted building management before just straight up leaving, but I don’t blame him one bit for walking off. Especially since the Doorman was just going to knock back a boilermaker.
Aaron: Is the term “Bro” too ethnic? It sure is if you’ve ever spent time with the Greeks. They throw that word around as if their whole civilization was a giant sibling. Think about it my Aristotelian friends, if everyone is your bro then you’re one big incestuous society which would make Zeus swell with pride. Also the last time I had to do a business deal with a Greek man (whose daughter was named, I shit you not, Athena.) I asked if the building has a back door to which he replied, “We’re Greeks, we always find a way in the back door.” Jesus guys we’re still doing that? I guess the economy isn’t the only thing in the shitter.
Andrew: If my doorman asked a random dude to watch the door for a while, and the building got broken into … I think I would still be mad at the doorman.
Jordan: If you are a tourist in New York City and witness a mugging, should you just watch in horror or ACTUALLY ATTEMPT TO STOP IT?
Jason: If your friend is separated from his wife, is it right to want to date his wife? HELL NO! Bad move by Sleazy Sid Farkus. If you get a couch that was previously urinated on, should you allow someone to sleep on it without telling them? Again, HELL NO!
Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)
JT: Purple shirts. D cups. George and the random coffee shop women may have been a match made in Heaven, but Georgie Boy was too busy fretting to take notice. Relationship Grade: 36D/10
Aaron: Estelle and Frank are meant to be together. If they can get past the transvestite parties they can get through anything. And damn that son of a bitch Sid Farkus for trying to step in between America’s favorite couple. Relationship Grade: 10/10
Andrew: Estelle gets a lot of dates for a married woman. I gotta respect the game. Relationship Grade: How ’bout those Knicks?/10
Jordan: I know that the internet is a disgusting place full of erotic fan fiction of all kinds, but I refuse to believe someone wrote a fan fic encounter of the Estelle/Sid date. Excuse me, I have to google something unrelated. Relationship Grade: GROSS/10
Jason: Jerry was doomed from the get go by the Doorman for not watching to engage in a conversation with him. If Estelle and Frank want to spice up their relationship, enter Sid Farkus. I believe it’s pronounced menage a trois? Relationship Grade: Senior Citizen Orgy/10
What Worked:
JT: The Doorman is amazing immediately, especially when he just stares at Jerry and then gets pissed about the Knicks question; Kramer’s leather coat certainly is something and I love how he comes up with the stupid mugging idea and then forces George to go along with it; Frank not knowing who Cosmo was and then exposing his tits is a tremendous one-two punch of comedy; Jerry’s “Hi Mr. Pitt!” and Pitt thinking that means a party is going on; The Doorman is so delightfully weird; Kramer and George explaining Frank’s hooters to Jerry, then Kramer planting the seed in George’s head, then diving into the bra idea and finally the woman saying she was twins with George; George’s Crying Game line; The Doorman is always there, waiting; Jerry as the Doorman is awesome, especially when he just gives up and walks off; George becoming self aware of his lady lumps; Kramer examining Frank’s back issues and then unleashing the Bro was tremendous; George asking his Mom about his Grandmother’s breasts and then them walking in on Frank and Kramer dancing is an all time classic scene; Elaine looks great in her retro crime movie getup and I love her and Jerry trying to sort out a plan; I love how Frank thinks the “Bro” is too ethnic; Elaine’s dismissive tone when grilling the Doorman and then finally snapping and caving was so well done; Kramer, Frank and Sid talking about banging broads and unhooking their bras is so creepy; “Summer nights”; Another business deal is crushed due to Frank being a wild card, although Sid is kind of an asshole here; Kramer blowing up the pee stain on the couch to Frank; Estelle destroys her scene in the apartment, the “he only sells them” line is a killer; Kramer avoiding an attack with the Bro was funny as was the great Poppy payoff with the couch; The final scene in the bed is so good and it is clear that Jason Alexander is doing all he can not to die laughing
Aaron: Larry Miller is great right from the start. His strange confrontational demeanor surely masks a pure genius masquerading as an uneducated doorman. Jerry’s need to avoid said doorman is one thousand percent relatable as I’ve done everything short of murder trying to avoid people in my day to day life. In fact as soon as I have enough money I’m moving up North and I’m buying some guns. That’s going to be it for me. And if you dare, DARE to try and bother me, you sir will perish in a hail of bullets that would make the god damn Spartans wish for the sunshine. I love that during the sales pitch for the “bro” that the men take a minute to lament bra clasps and all their inconvenience. Their pain and laughter are both palpable. Almost as palpable as the doormen’s joy as they laughed at Jerry’s misfortune is possible the best fantasy sequence of the series so far. George is also pretty fantastic throughout. His neurosis over his growing breasts is a fear too many men have had to deal with. And I love…LOVE that he still has the baseball sheets. Imagine the magnanimity of Frank not even chastising him for them. I’m always in for Elaine suffering under the tyranny of Mr. Pitt. She knows as soon as she answers that phone she’s in for a night of going through the old man’s mail. Her quip that “He’s a comedian, they don’t know anything,” is scary accurate. Finally all the business with the German tourists is golden as is the one tourist who suggests his fat friend would be in need of chest support.
Andrew: The guest stars really make this episode. Larry Miller is so great as the doorman. I’ve already talked about how much I enjoy Frank in this one, and Estelle is right up there with him. Poppy gets a lot out of a brief appearance, and Mr. Pitt forcing Elaine to describe the mail to him is hilarious. As for the regular cast… Kramer’s got an extensive vocabulary for talking about breasts, and I enjoy them all. And seeing him defuse the German tourist situation with The Bro is pretty good. George trying to get information on his grandmother’s bosom is fantastic. Elaine’s noir routine with the doorman lie is a nice touch. And the storylines are great; I really like the couch unexpectedly serving as a tie-in (and as a callback to “The Couch”).
Jordan: Larry Miller is one of those guys that plays the same character all the time, but it always works. Kind of a jerk, but he usually has a point. Frank’s moobs stunning George is great, and George’s quest to find out if he would wind up with man jugs is funny. Poppy showing up at the end was a good capper, which the show sometimes struggles with. I like Elaine’s sad declaration that she cannot go to the movies, because Mr. Pitt wants to know what is in the mail. The bro vs. the mansiere name debate is fun. Jerry’s total fear of the Doorman is good. I LOVE that George’s bedroom is decorated as if he is nine years old.
Jason: The doorman asking Jerry if he was Elaine’s boyfriend and there for a quickie. Kramer pretending to rob George to entertain the German tourists; “Hands up, porky!” Mr. Pitt’s swank leather couch. Jerry picking up the phone when Mr. Pitt calls. Pitt shouting out instructions to Elaine from Scotland. George’s disgust when Frank takes his shirt off; throwing up all night and being his own personal Crying Game. Kramer’s, “These were real hooters.” Jerry running into the doorman on the street after his shift was over; “You really think you’re better than me, don’t you?” George’s paranoia that he might get man boobs too. The lady with the same shirt telling George they’re twins. George looking down his shirt and being self conscious when the bus hits a bump. George asking Estelle if his grandmother was bosomy. Estelle walking in on Frank and Kramer trying on the bra with Cha-Cha music playing is a top ten series moment. Jerry feeling the pressures of being a doorman. The couch getting stolen after Jerry leaves the lobby. The tie-in with Jerry and Elaine having to get a new lobby couch and George offering to give up his couch to get rid of Frank… BRILLIANT Kramer calling out George’s pee couch.Kramer, Frank and Farkus shooting the shit. Frank losing his shit when Sid wants to go out with Estelle. Franks, “You had me lying in urine?” The Marathon Man parody with Kramer bumping into the German tourists and introducing them to the Bro. The final scene with Poppie showing up was brilliant. The payoff with Poppie getting aggravated when he see’s Elaine and having to sit down on the couch. What a finish! Frank offering George kasha, so damn good every time!
What Didn’t Work
JT: The Doorman should have said something that was a bit more of a cover than straight up saying he wants to go get a beer, is he running to a bar? A liquor store?; Does Mrs. Payton own the building? I am reaching
Aaron: I don’t know what a Banlon is and I’m not looking it up. As great as Larry Miller was I think we all live in a better world because he didn’t accept the role of George.
Andrew: I never got the reference they were making when Kramer is trying to escape the German tourists. It’s not the writers’ fault I never saw Marathon Man, but that moment never really worked for me.
Jordan: The fake robbery and payoff with the tourists finding Kramer was stupid.
Jason: No complaints from me.
Key Character Debuts
– The Doorman
Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes
– “What’re you, the boyfriend? Here for a… quickie?” – Doorman “Can I just go up?”- Jerry “Oh, I get it. Why waste time making small talk with the doorman? I should just shut up and do my job, opening the door for you.” – Doorman
– “…What makes you think I wasn’t reading the Wall Street page? Oh, I know, because I’m the uneducated doorman.” – Doorman
– “That’s it. Now, gimme your wallet. Got it in here, huh, fat boy!” – Kramer
– “Today, I went record shopping in Greenwich Village. I bought this record, but I can’t seem to find the hi-fi.” – Frank “I don’t have a hi-fi.” – George “Didn’t I give you my old record player?” – Frank “I gave it to Cosmo.” – George “Cosmo? Who’s Cosmo?” – Frank “I’m Cosmo.” – Kramer
– “Ah, sure. Poor doorman has to work two jobs to put food on the table for mother and baby. No, I live here. That’s okay, isn’t it?” – Doorman “So you work all day as a doorman at one building. Then you come home and stand outside your own building?” – Jerry “You got a problem with that?” – Doorman
– “He had breasts.” – Kramer “What d’you mean, breasts?” – Jerry “Big breasts!” – George “So what? A lot of older men have that.” – Jerry “No, not these. These were real hooters.” – Kramer
– “I was throwing up all night. It was like my own personal Crying Game.” – George
– “Then I suppose the bosom gene comes from your grandmother.” – Jerry
– “He claims that you followed him home, and started harassing him.” – Doorman “What has this guy got a personal vendetta with me?! What’d I do to him? Cuz I asked him about the Knicks?” – Jerry
– “What is wrong with George?” – Elaine “He’s… trying to get something off his chest.” – Jerry
– “You want me to wear a bra?!” – Frank “No, no. A bra is for ladies… Meet, the bro.” – Kramer
– The Bro (Or Mansiere) immediately becomes a pop culture hit
– “I told you! Now, Frank, listen. Here’s what I’m thinking. Now, you have a friend in the bra business, right?” – Kramer “Of course. Sid Farkus. He’s the best in the business.” – Frank
– “No, bro’s no good. Too ethnic.” – Frank “Alright, you got something better?” – Kramer “How ’bout uh… the mansiere?” – Frank “Mansiere?” – Kramer “That’s right. A brassiere for a man. The mansiere, get it?” – Frank
– “The doorman. And, pray tell, what did the doorman say?” – Elaine “He said he asked a friend of yours to watch the door.” – Mrs. Payton “Oh, my. Well, the doorman certainly has a wild imagination, doesn’t he?” – Elaine
– “Diabolical. He thought of everything. He was setting me up from day one!” – Jerry “Is it possible we were victims of a sting?” – Elaine
– “And, to be perfectly frank, I’ve always felt I could use some support. I know, when I’m wearing Banlon, there appears to be some jiggling.” – Sid “I wouldn’t be caught dead in Banlon!” – Frank
– “But, the very idea. you had me lying in urine!!” – Frank
– “You’re not having any of your transvestite parties?” – Estelle “Will you stop it?” – Frank “I lived with him for forty years, I never saw him trying on my underwear. As soon as he leaves the house, he turns into J. Edgar Hoover!” – Estelle
– “Sid Farkus?! You’re not having dinner with a bra salesman.” – Frank “Hey, he only sells them. He doesn’t wear ’em.” – Estell
Oddities & Fun Facts
– The Doorman is portrayed by long time character actor and comedian Larry Miller
– Sid Farkus, bra salesman, returns after being last seen in “The Sniffing Accountant” (S5, E4)
– Multiple times in this episode, characters ask “How about them Knicks?”; This episode aired 2/23/95 and on that date the Knicks defeated the Kings to move to 34-18. That would put them 5.5 games behind the Orlando Magic in the Atlantic Division and at the second best record in the Eastern Conference. They would end up losing to the Indiana Pacers in seven games in the second round of the NBA Playoffs.
– Jerry replaces the stolen couch with his old couch that Poppy peed on, a callback to “The Couch” (S6, E5)
Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)
JT: Easily a Hall of Fame episode. The Bro is iconic and became a pop culture catchphrase. The Doorman may be the best cameo character in the history of the show. Everything tied together, they looped in some really strong callbacks to past episodes and the individual performances were all right on point. Estelle capped it all off by roasting the shit out of Frank to close things out. One of the greats ever sneaks in late in season six. Final Grade: 10/10
Aaron: Come on! It’s the one with Frank Costanza wearing a bra. The writing all ties together, and the characters are strong. Easy winner here. Bring on the rest of six! Final Grade: 9/10
Andrew: I don’t have more to say, other than that this one is a classic. Final Grade: 10/10
Jordan: The Doorman alone makes this a success, but throw in Frank and Kramer selling a bra for men? perfection. Final Grade: 10/10
Jason: If there’s one episode from this season that deserves more praise than it gets, this is it. The Jerry and Doorman feud was excellent. Bickering Constanzas at best. Plus, a couple of great cameos from Poppy and Sid Farkus. Every plot tide in well together with some iconic series moments. There’s very little to complain about here. Final Grade: 10/10
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