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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 12:58:11 GMT
Episode 2x08 "Band on the Run"
So here I was, just tip tappin along minding my own business, tryin to eat my Taco Bell, startin to watch today's episode and WHAT THE WHAT
Most of you probably know that Adam Scott plays Griffin Hawkins in season 3. And if you're anything like me, you're a total hipster about it. "Oh I knew as soon as I saw him on Boy Meets World that he was amazing. What's that? You didn't know he was on Boy Meets World? How embarrassing for you." HOW LITTLE I KNEW! He only has a couple lines here and doesn't even have a name, so I'll save the actual fanboy gushing for when he comes back as Griff later. This caught me completely off-guard, I had no idea he played a musician with bad hair in this episode. I always thought his hair only existed in a constant state of perfection. Now we all know the truth! The true origin! MAY THE TRUE HISTORY STAND FOR MILLENIA TO COME.
So yeah, Cory and Shawn are at Chubbie's, the local hangout/burger place, and Cory's getting turned down by every girl in the universe for the school dance. Adam Scott and some other guy show up and ask the boys to watch their guitars because your first instinct walking into a place called Chubbie's is "hey, I can trust these people." The shallow girls all see Cory with the guitars and suddenly want his rebellious musician D. There's a joke here about how D stands for dick and is also a musical note... maybe something something D-flat something... I don't know. Post a comment if you can put it together.
Hey, cool, we've got a premise. Shawn and Cory are pretending to be musicians. Golly... A dance coming up, where music will be played, and the boys are pretending to be musicians... Could it be...?
This should be fun! Or at least refreshing. Usually sitcoms have their characters magically become good at instruments, and they're in a legitimate band somehow, and then plot happens.
I tried watching Suite Life on Deck once. Lasted about five minutes.
We couldn't break the mold completely though, as we learn that Alan used to play guitar in a band called The Tongues. This primarily serves to give Cory access to a guitar, or at least, a guitar case. Hard to say where Shawn's came from, but knowing him he probably got it from some uncle.
Topanga shows up and talks to Cory about the upcoming dance. Some dude named Jeremy asked Topanga to the dance, but she put him on hold in case Cory wanted to ask her. What a considerate sweetheart. Cory says she can go with Jeremy though, since he wants to go with the groupies. That's some BS. I am officially rooting for Topanga x Jeremy. Keep an eye out for my upcoming Girl Meets World fan-fiction, where Topanga has an affair with Jeremy.
After school, Cory and Shawn hold auditions to fill out the rest of their fake band. It's a hilarious scene, here's the last part.
At school the next day, the groupies do the verb form of "groupie" with Cory. Mr. Turner comes along and banters with Cory, and it's kinda funny but the real show is going on in the background.
Those two have the exact same hair style. Maybe that's what they like about each other.
That girl looks like Larxene from Kingdom Hearts.
After Turner talks to Cory, the camera cuts to the side where Mr. Feeny is announcing that the dance's band has bailed on the gig, and are being replaced by a live recording of "the cool, mellow, Caribbean sounds of Jojo Man and Brother B." Inexplicably, the students are not satisfied with this. One of the groupies does that thing TV shows do where one person manages to speak for an entire crowd and suggests Cory and Shawn's band play for the dance. She says it with the most obnoxious face too, the kind that just NEEDS to be hit with that mallet from Kirby.
Where did all those kids come from? There were like two people in the hallway a second ago. You can see the other groupie with the pink cap by the trash can here. Is her shirt not THE most 90s thing you've ever seen? It's like a fucking crayon commercial.
Cory has no choice but to accept and makes up the name "The Exits" for his band when he sees an Exit sign, a la Keyser Soze. When he tells the rest of The Exits about their gig, Thor and the one with the 18th century military blazer quit the band.
Back at the Matthews house, Alan has invited his old bandmates over, who are played by Mickey Dolenz of The Monkees (who are apparently still successfully touring, which blows my mind), Rick Nielsen of Cheap Trick (who are also still touring, but are about a decade younger than The Monkees), and Billy Vera who hasn't done anything that I recognize. Pretty awesome. And the audience impresses me by not losing their shit as soon as the scene starts.
Alan is blatantly just trying to reclaim his youth, but the other three are all very comfortable with getting old. Despite not being actors, they all do really well with their lines, and they're funny! These scenes where Alan struggles with his age are always great.
We're at the dance now, and the boys' scheme is to have real musicians play backstage while they just fake it for the audience. This episode MUST be a satire of those standard band episodes I was talking about before. The musicians show up, but Cory and Shawn don't have the money to pay them, so they're out of luck.
What was that half-giggle from the audience? That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard on this show. Step it up, audience.
Cory and Shawn go out on stage and stall by exploiting the fact that the crowd at a concert will cheer at literally any question asked by the band.
I don't think the girl on the far right is having a very good time. Also, this is some shoddy camera work. If you're trying to use angles to make us think there are a lot of people, then we shouldn't be able to see where the crowd ends. We can see perfectly well that the crowd doesn't go back very far. Honestly, I don't know if I've ever seen a school dance accurately portrayed on television.
Actually, no, there was one time.
That's right mother bitches, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. That show was awesome.
At the Matthews house, The Tongues play Good Lovin by The Young Rascals, which is pretty cool, and we see that Alan is having trouble maintaining the same energy as everyone else. After Alan's buddies leave, he confides all his insecurities in his wife. She explains that, despite what he may think, she didn't fall for him because of his music, but becase she liked the "whole package".
Back at the dance, Cory and Shawn are getting booed off stage when Cory attempts to perform The Name Game using his groupie's name.
It's hilarious. The students all leave the dance. Well great, Cory and Shawn have single handedly ruined an entire dance. It's probably Mr. Feeny's fault though, he should have known better. Or maybe he did, and just wanted to see them embarrass themselves.
Topanga comes back into the dance instead of going to The Oyster House with Jeremy. DAMN IT. She gives Cory the same "whole package" speech that Amy gave Alan. It's sweet.
During the credits, someone known only as Rembrandt is credited as playing "Scream". Alrighty.
Plot: 1.0 - Thoroughly enjoyable from start to finish. Every show from the 90s did a band episode, but this one was unique.
Character Development: 0.5 - More good stuff from Alan about getting older.
Humor: 1.0 - Feeny laughing at Cory and Shawn would get this point by itself, but the whole thing was funny.
Life Lesson: 0 - This was more of a "let's just have fun" episode. Nothing wrong with that though.
2.5 out of 4, definitely worth watching. There were a ton of good jokes that I didn't include here.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 12:59:04 GMT
Episode 2x09 "Fear Strikes Out"
Cory and Shawn are going to be attending some party where they'll be playing 7 Minutes in Heaven. Ah, high school... Overt sexual expression weakly disguised as a game... I'm sure we all remember a few where we were thinking "this, this is just not even close to a game, at all." But that's for a very different sort of blog. Cory wants to really rock out at this party, so hopefully his practice pays off.
Concurrently Mr. Turner spies the new social studies teacher, Kat Tompkins. Feeny (lightheartedly) gives him a hard time about it, and it's hilarious. Their chemistry is ridiculously good. As good as Cory and Shawn. As good as Amy and Alan.
Cory sits with Eric to ask for some party advice, but it has the opposite effect. Eric describes all the things that can go wrong, and Cory loses his nerve. Dammit Eric, we spent a whole episode building that confidence. All Eric ever does is sabotage his little brother in the guise of experienced advice. I honestly can't tell if he's ever actually trying to help. That makes him interesting.
We're not wasting any time as we jump right to the makeout party. This is almost certainly the same set as that chin-girl's party. Cory's still very nervous, and Shawn is very not. We've seen a lot of episodes recently where Shawn has some quality Cory wants, or can thrive in some situation that Cory can't. This just occurred to me now, and it's kind of blowing my mind, but "the world" that Cory was "meeting" back in season one was Mr. Feeny, but now it's Shawn. Shawn shows us how Cory can grow during this season. Sometimes, at least.
Either way, what Cory needs to worry about isn't his breath or where to put his hands. It's his god damn collar.
Am I the only person in the universe who pays attention to the clothes on this show? There should be someone like me on every set whose job is to say "woah, what the fuck" when something like that happens. And then the director will yell "Cut! What the fuck, guys."
Cory's got mad performance anxiety in the closet. I guess this is that fear striking out from the title. Topanga's totally understanding. I wouldn't expect any less. Topanga is a paragon of rationality and age-appropriate maturity. Whoever made the call to leave her paranormal weirdness by the wayside deserves a medal. In principle, this is a totally legitimate situation to build an episode on. But in practice, it... doesn't make a lot of sense. Cory and Topanga have kissed plenty of times already. There's no reason in the world for him to be nervous about this. At the end of the day, Boy Meets World is notorious for forgetting and rewriting history (ironic, since Feeny teaches history), so we better get used to it. Anyway she manages to calm Cory down, and just as they're about to kiss, time's up!
Cory was using that lacrosse stick to explain how men want to be tough, rather than "nice guys". You gotta wonder what everyone else is thinking when they see him with that.
It's certainly not obvious just from what they saw, but for the sake of the plot, the other kids glean that Cory and Topanga did not kiss. At school, the other guys taunt Cory by calling him "the amazing lip-less".
...Really? Might as well be "Closet No Topanga Kiss Man". Same level of quality.
And Topanga's not making his life any easier.
The writers remembered that they gave Mr. Turner a subplot earlier, so now we've got that female teacher, Miss Tompkins, asking Mr. Feeny for the insider scoop on our favorite English teacher.
Nice bolo tie, blonde-Alice-Cooper. Think I've seen it somewhere before.
I agree, Stan.
We all agree.
We're at the Matthews house and Cory invents the word "agoobwah" to describe how awful the party was. Morgan has some lines and I'll let you take a little quiz here.
It was ________________
a) Richard Nixon b) Buy More Ovaltine c) A Jar of Almonds d) so bad that it made ConfidenceKBM want to join a monastery e) Both a and d
Amy and Alan pick up on the fact that this is all Eric's fault and dole out some punishment. He's not allowed to go on another date until Cory feels ready to go on a date again. This destroys the only thing Eric has to live for, so he gives his little brother a pep talk. Cory agrees to go on a double date with Eric, since Eric promises it will be totally unromantic and there won't be any pressure for Cory to kiss his date. The only girl in the school who will speak to Cory right now is Topanga, so there we go.
We jump ahead to the date, located at some coffee place with an open mic for poetry readings. The set is blatantly just Chubbie's with a bunch of drapes everywhere, but that's showbiz. This clip is delightfully reminiscent of the first time I had a date at a coffee shop.
One unintentional thing to take away from this episode is that you should know enough about coffee to be able to go on a coffee date. "Let's get coffee" is the easiest date in the world. First coffee date I had, I got a bottle of fuckin Perrier. I didn't know what that was either, but I knew it was at least mostly water, and thus a safe choice. Except it was gross. The point is, learn your shit.
Cory leaves her to order her mocha frappa dappa wappa while he finds a place to sit. Now we get a fun look at one of the more intricate bromances in the series, but a bromance nonetheless.
One thing that Boy Meets World definitely did right with its bullies is that they're not just bullies. Normally shows will say "okay, these are the bad guys, hate them". But I don't hate Frankie and Joey. They're fun, they're interesting. Maybe not realistic, but realistic bullies are just depressing, so that's fine.
You can see Cory standing around at the end of that clip, and then Topanga walks up and says "Cory, over here," motioning to the nearby couch. His ONE JOB was to find a place to sit. "I'll find us a place to sit." That's a direct quote. COME ON CORY.
I know I'm goin crazy with the clips today, but a lot of this is just better for you to hear than to read.
I wish every guy saw this when they were in middle/high school. It doesn't get any realer than that, folks. This show is awesome.
Another poet takes the stage while the girl from The Fifth Element is hangin out nearby.
I haven't actually seen the movie, or I'd make a better joke.
This guy does a slow, sensual poem, and all the couples start locking lips, including Corpanga. The audience goes wooOOOoooOOoo, making me roll my eyes. The laughter is justifiable. I get it. I do. I don't like it, but I get it. Fine. But the wooing? Why? Especially in this situation. They're kissing to sensual romantic poetry, not porn-jazz. Ugh.
At school the next day, Feeny is very interested in how Turner's date with Miss Tompkins unfolded, which is hilarious. Cory shares his new secret to kissing with all the other men on the show, and the episode ends with all of them on one big group date at another poetry reading. Including Feeny and Turner and Cory's parents. Because that makes sense.
...So.... wait...
Did we actually solve anything here? Cory is once again able to kiss Topanga, but that doesn't address the original problem. Maybe he can go forward with a new confidence in the knowledge that the girls are just as uncertain and nervous. And the "nice guy" problem didn't come up again after that clip in the hallway. I feel like that could be left to its own episode, it didn't serve any purpose being crammed in here.
Plot: 0.75 - It was fun, but largely unnecessary. Lots of convenience-for-plot-advancement, like Cory getting paired with Topanga in the first place. I think this episode would have functioned better if it wasn't Topanga, since her close friendship with Cory is what made this so easy to resolve.
Character Development: 0.25 - I'll give a little for the growing friendship between Turner and Feeny, but Cory completely struck out here. I'm just not sold on it. If he went to another makeout party the next day, and got paired with someone other than Topanga, I'd wager he wouldn't fare any better than the first time.
Humor: 0.5 - It was funny, but also kinda not. Feeny and Turner did a lot of the work here again, and Eric got SHAFTED with his lines in this episode. He is absolutely not being used to his full potential yet.
Life Lesson: 1.0 - Refer back to the mind-being-blown gif.
2.5 out of 4. Remember the blonde girl with slicked back hair from 2x08? If you do watch this episode, count how many times she shows up in the background. Spoiler, it's a lot.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 12:59:41 GMT
Episode 2x10 "Sister Theresa"
Cory dates a stalker, but it's okay because she's good looking and eventually she lightens up.
Thanks for reading, see you Friday.
As you can see in the gif, Cory is being impolite to his mother today. She comments that if he were polite for an entire day, people would notice. So now we're at school, and Mr. Feeny gives us a poorly written, delivered, and timed joke.
Really? "Bless you"? Get this man a sainthood. And why the fuck did Mr. Feeny walk that kid out into the middle of this hallway and then give him back the fire extinguisher? "Oh you just stabbed me with a knife? Well here's your knife back." Seriously, are you even thinking today Mr. Feeny?
And Eric looks like the guy from Dark Cloud with that sweater.
So Cory bumps into a pretty girl and knocks her books to the floor, but his plot-driven politeness compels him to pick them up for her. Did we really need the fuckin "be polite" background for this? Are you telling me Cory wouldn't have picked up her books otherwise? She's so impressed too! She falls in love with Cory on the spot because he helped her pick up the books that he knocked down. Talk about low standards. Any remotely empathetic human being would do the same thing.
The girl introduces herself as Theresa, but her friends call her T.K. and she gives Cory her number. She's played by Danielle Harris, who continues to have consistent guest spots on various TV shows and a few B horror movies, which is understandable since she's a pretty good actress here on Boy Meets World. She was born in June 1977 and so must have been 17 when she was on this show. Add that to her checkered mini skirt and I, as a 21 year old, have absolutely no problem saying that she is FIIIIIIIIIINE
AAAAAAAAAS
HEEEEEELLLLLLLL.
as HELL. She is still ridiculously good looking today. But I'm sure you already checked.
That wink is hypnotic. Theresa manages to get herself transferred into Cory's homeroom to spend more time with him, so we're starting to see some red flags here.
The red flags continue.
This episode was written by Jeff Sherman, whose only other episode is 2x03, the one where we first met Desiree. I guess he's just the guy who writes the crazy girls on the show. Michael Jacobs is just like "we need some crazy, better call The Sherm. The Sure Man." And then Jeff Sherman pretends to laugh at "The Sure Man", even though he's heard that joke every day of his life.
T.K. also sent Cory a child-sized clown made out of candy, and a box of frozen steaks. Candy and meat are pretty awesome, but they haven't even gone on a date yet. Amy and Alan try to explain to their son that this girl is coming on too strong and too fast. But Cory's just like "fuck that noise I got a candy clown."
At school the next day, Frankie the Enforcer, Joey the Rat, and Harley Keiner all have a new respect for our fuzzy haired protagonist. He naively chalks it up to his politeness streak because he's a moron. It's hard to know what kind of humor Cory's going to be doing in a given episode. Sometimes he's a sharp witted smart aleck , and sometimes he eats glue. Obviously I prefer the former, but in this episode Cory's dining on the not-macaroni half of macaroni art. It's not just this scene, all of his jokes have been pretty bad.
At least we can count on Shawn to know how to deal with women.
"Stop overreacting and relax" is the essence of Shawn's advice so far this season, and it's definitely good advice, but Cory ain't learnin. He does a poor job of cancelling his date with T.K. and she gets upset and makes Cory look like the bad guy. It's weird, ya know? She's genuinely just trying to be nice and to show her affection, but that affection is completely baseless. What's the right way to tell someone to stop being so affectionate? To tell someone that they shouldn't feel so strongly? I'm not trying to legitimize what she's doing, it's definitely obsessive, but this is a very real situation (usually with the genders switched), so it's interesting to think about.
Joey the Rat interrupts Turner's class, and tricks Turner into going to check on his motorcycle. Then shit gets real.
Battle of the red shirts over here. "Do you happen to know why?" At least we got some smart aleck Cory back in there.
And suddenly the title of the episode makes sense. Except in syndication they never show the names of the episodes so what's the point.
Threatened with agonizing death,
Cory agrees to go out with T.K. as planned, and if he's not a perfect gentleman, Harley is going to send Cory down to Davy Jones's Locker. I don't think that expression works here.
AHHAHAHAHAHHA-
NO.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
God, I'm so sorry Will Friedle. I'm so sorry you have to endure this. Some day, some day you'll get good lines, I promise. Stay strong.
Now Cory and T.K. are at a drive in movie, with Frankie the Enforcer as their chaperon. Theresa gives Frankie money to go buy snacks, leaving her to jump Cory's bones. However, Cory rebuffs her advances. But why? Is he actually trying to slow things down and get to know her? Or is he just scared of being drawn and quartered by Harley? If Harley's threat is the only thing keeping Cory from catching Chlamydia in the back of this car, then what's the point? "Don't fuck a girl if her brother will murder you"? Is that the lesson?
Anyway, in an effort to pacify Theresa, Cory starts talking about baseball. That's sort of meta-funny, since there's that saying that you should think about baseball to lose an erection, but that's probably unintentional. T.K. gets this sad look and tells a story about a time her shitty dad ditched her at a baseball game and Harley had to come help her. It's sweet, but Harley (T.K reveals that his name is actually Harvey) can't really be redeemed at this point.
Cory escapes through the sunroof with the help of Shawn, who's been lying in wait for just such an emergency. Pretty sure that scene was directed by Michael Bay. At school the next day, Harley's pissed and wants to murder the little Matthews boy, so Cory tries desperately to convince Harley that Theresa was the one making moves, and not him. Harley naturally doesn't want to believe it, but some conveniently located upstanding gentlemen corroborate Cory's story. That's fun to say. Corroborate Cory's Story.
The guy second to the left has the same shirt as Cory. Once again, they clearly need me on the set of this show to make sure that shit doesn't happen.
Cory and Harley have a sort of heart-to-heart and neither one murders the other.
During the credits, Theresa is having dinner at Cory's house and tries her hardest to be polite and stuff.
And she's still the best looking girl on this show. Is there a word for those thin side bangs the arrow is pointing to? I love those.
Okay so this wasn't as bad as I remembered. Jeff Menell has succeeded in bringing us another insane female character who I really like. Shit, my entire romantic history suddenly makes sense. Regardless, I don't think I'm a fan of how this one ended. It seems like they're telling us that something was fundamentally wrong with Theresa, and with this change at the end she is closer to being "correct". Yeah she came on too strong, but at the end here she's completely changed the way she dresses, speaks, and behaves, and I just don't like that message.
Either way, her family is clearly wealthy, she's very good looking, she's fun, she likes Cory for who he is, and dating her prevents bullying from Harley. ...Topanga who?
Plot: 1.0 - It was fun and interesting, even if I didn't like the ending.
Character Development: 0 - The only person who changed at all was Theresa, and she changed for the worse. It's honestly a little depressing.
Humor: 0.75 - It was funny, but also anti-funny. Eric got shafted again. Cory is funniest when he's with Shawn, and Shawn was mostly absent. Frankie and Joey made up for it, though.
Life Lesson: 0 - I don't even know what they were going for.
1.75 out of 4. I really genuinely wish we got to see Theresa again in the future. She's just compelling. I feel like I know more about her than about Topanga. And it shouldn't be that way.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 13:00:12 GMT
Episode 2x11 "The Beard"
Sorry this is a little late. I wrote most of it but then I was pretty tired so I napped until 4 a.m and now I'm finishing it.
"Beard is a slang term describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner (boyfriend or girlfriend), or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one's sexual orientation." - Wikipedia
Mrs. Amy Matthews is trying to pick out a new car, but they don't really establish why. Her selfless sons suggest a Ferrari Testarossa, which looks like the exact car you imagine when someonesays "Hot Wheels." Amy ultimately settles on a boring van because it will help with taking kids to soccer, and with paintings for a gallery. She is quite obviously senile, since no one on this show plays soccer and she works in real estate.
WOAHOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Did Boy Meets World just assume it has a mature audience?
It's certainly not a clever joke, but it's reassuring whenever they tell us "hey, I know you're not some stupid kid." Also, nice poop colored sweater + pants combo there, Mrs. Matthews. I could make a store called Clothes To Die In, for senior-as-hell citizens, and that outfit would for damn sure be a hot item.
At school, Turner is passionately detailing the awesomeness of Hamlet. This is lazy writing since we already had an episode about Hamlet back in season one, but I'm okay with it because, again, Hamlet is fucking awesome. It doesn't seem critical to the story, however, as the scene ends as soon as a girl passes a note to Shawn via Cory. She manages to knock her backpack strap off her chair with what must be telekinesis since I can't see how else it could have happened.
Oh shit, no I see it now. It's Cory's telekinesis. He twitches his index finger to the left at the beginning of the gif.
Now we're in Feeny's class and he's lecturing on the Cold War. The Cory Express delivers yet another note to Shawn from a different girl. Understandably, Cory doesn't enjoy being The Cory Express.
At lunch, Shawn can't decide which girl he wants to go out with. Their names are Linda and Stacy, but we don't know which one is which yet. Cory points out that Shawn was able to make the equally impossible decision of meatloaf versus chicken in the lunch line. BUT HOW? Well, Cory got the chicken, so if Shawn didn't like his meatloaf he could have had some of Cory's chicken. Food = women, so this gives Shawn a solution to his girl problem. If you can even call it a problem. He wants Cory to date one of the girls, thus keeping her off the market while he dates the other until he gets bored. This is perhaps the most narcissistic thing Shawn does in the entire series.
I love that bit. "Oh obviously!" It's their entire early-season friendship in one joke. Looking back on the series as a whole, that's one of the lines that always sticks out.
It has nothing to do with the story, but Frankie and Joey get to do a few lines here.
Quality over quantity with these two. Again, I'm not saying it's particularly clever, but this is a great example of what I said in 2x01 about these two actors really pushing the limits of their characters. That little pat on the head? Joey's delivery is general is just fantastic, "aaaand I'll see ya on Monday." Holy shit, I just realized that I say that all the time on this blog. Hmmmmm...
Okay, so Linda's the blonde and Stacy is the not-blonde. Some future frat-guy named Roy is trying to hit on Linda, but Cory fights him off with his skills as a master wordsmith. His wordsmithery...ization...ness... then woos Linda by way of a few sincere compliments.
I actually came up with that one. That's not canon.
Cory takes Linda on a date to Chubbie's because that's what they do on this show. He teaches her the secret to ordering, and it's pretty sweet.
Cory freaks out a little bit when Shawn arrives with Stacy, but he shouldn't be surprised, since no date has ever occurred elsewhere. The best laid plan of Mice and Shawn is going awry, now that Linda and Cory actually like each other.
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAYS! THAT ONE IS CANON. I DON'T UNDERSTANDDDDDDDDDDD!
Cory goes to Alan for advice, but before Alan can help he wants to show his wife that he bought her the van she wanted. She's pissed because men always rush into things or whatever that shit was that Alan was talking about before. Okay, so Alan's gotta go get lectured by his wife and can't help his son. Cory then turns to Eric for advice, but since this is season 2, Eric is only capable of giving bad advice and making jokes at his brother's expense.
That's probably Eric's best line so far in season 2, and is followed quickly by Mr. Feeny's best line in season 2.
It's neat that we're drawing a parallel between the plot and history this time, rather than literature. And that line is just hysterical.
Shawn and Stacy break up because they have different tastes in movies, but who even gives a shit? I mean she was wearing a camouflage skirt for Christ's sake. Who let that happen? Do her parents not love her?
Well I guess Cory cares, since now Shawn is going to come looking to date Linda. Cory finds Stacy at Chubbie's because you should know this by now, and accidentally woos her too. As we now know, Chubbie's is the only location in Philadelphia, so we are not surprised when Linda shows up. She thinks Cory is running the same gambit on Stacy that he ran on her, leading both women to the conclusion that Shawn is the victim here, having been betrayed by his best friend. Excuse me, Linda, but you might want to look at that gif from earlier. Cory didn't run shit. You moved your torso like 3 miles to kiss him while he did not move.
Now Shawn arrives and I'm out of sarcastic things to say.
Linda and Stacy unravel Shawn's heartless scheme and chew out the two boys for treating women like objects and all that, and they leave. Which is pointless because they'll surely come back in like 15 minutes, where else are they gonna go. And then.... the most confusing resolution we've seen so far.
What in the name of Safekh-Aubi the Egyptian goddess of writing just happened? What the hell was the point of this episode? Cory and Shawn have both blatantly learned nothing, but somehow it's okay because Shawn respects Cory a little more? I thought we were done with this after "You're Cory, I'm Shawn, just like it's always been. What else do you need to know?" in episode 2x05. I think one of the basic tenets of lifelong-best-friendery is that you're supposed to respect each other. From where I'm standing, Cory didn't even do anything wrong. He got screwed over by Linda making shit up and by Shawn being a sociopath. Maybe Cory should respect Shawn a little less. It's a really bizarre ending. I honestly stopped and said "What wait?" out loud.
You can see that blond girl with her hair slicked back in the background. I pointed her out a few reviews ago, and I swear she's in almost every scene. And usually with a guy, but it's always a different guy. She honestly gets more screen time than Topanga.
Plot: 0.75 - I was thoroughly enjoying this episode until the end, despite how ridiculous the premise is. From what wikipedia had to say, the title doesn't quite fit, but who cares. The Cory + Linda scenes were really sweet, up until she jumped to conclusions and flipped out.
Character Development: 0 - They obviously learned nothing. They might have even un-developed a little.
Humor: 1.0 - Everybody got funny lines in this one. Cory is usually at his funniest when paired with Shawn, but he was funny with the girls and his family in this one. That's reassuring.
Life Lesson: 0.5 - Don't treat women like objects. Even if Cory and Shawn didn't learn it, the audience still can. It's weird though. We're supposed to identify with the boys, so if they don't give a shit why should we?
2.25 out of 4. It's funny and entertaining. Worth watching, but turn your brain off first.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 13:01:07 GMT
Episode 2x12 "Turnaround" From the time of its posting to this afternoon, my review of episode 2x11 included the words "basic tenants" instead of "basic tenets". For this I am truly, humbly sorry. I have dishonored my legacy. If none of you ever read my reviews again, I will understand. "Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... For when you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Nietzsche It's time for a Turnaround Dance at John Adams High, where the girls ask the guys. There are some politically-correct types out there that don't like the idea of a turnaround dance, as it suggests that guys have to ask girls any other time. I'm all for gender equality, and I agree in principle that girls are fully capable of being the askers whenever they want. But if we're being honest for five seconds, that's not how it works. I dunno the context of that comic, but I don't need a fucking reason to post Dilbert, okay? Anyway, yeah, turnaround dance. Turner is hanging up some posters and Kat Tompkins, that blonde Alice Cooper from a few episodes ago, is playing maybe-I'll-ask-you-maybe-I-won't with him. It's enjoyable to watch. Also, I've mentioned this platinum haired female extra a few times, and she's already shown up in the first minute of this episode, so let's do something with it. I have named her "The Spectre", and I'll keep track of her appearances, but they won't necessarily be in the pictures. Spectre sightings: 1 Blocking our view of The Spectre is Eric advising Cory on how to get asked the dance. His advice? Positioning. Eric is pulling a Reverse-Cholo by buttoning only the bottom button of his shirt. Do not ever do this. If we've learned anything from the girl-centric episodes so far, it's that Shawn doesn't give any fucks and Cory gets way too worked up. This one is no exception. Shawn gets asked to the dance by a girl named Becky Scholz, pictured above. I know I talked about how all girls on tv hold their books like that, and that shit's the fuckin truth. And I don't understand her style. It's like she couldn't decide if she wanted to be a rebel or a librarian this morning, so she just said fuck it. Cory commends Shawn on his date, since Becky is "like the third coolest girl in our grade". Now Cory needs a date. "How bout Topanga?" you ask. Well for once the writers actually decided to address their history. Topanga expresses her revulsion toward the "destructive gender biased thinking" responsible for turnaround dances, and adds that she's going to New York for Christmas shopping at the time of the dance anyway. That's a five hour drive from Philly to NY, but whatever. With Topanga out of the picture, Cory sets his sights even higher than Becky Scholz.. He wants Allison Cheever, the coolest girl in our grade. Now, her style, I understand. (And also look how she holds her books) Spectre sightings: 2 (not in clip) Woo, plot synthesis catalyzed. Cory's stuck going to the dance with an "ugly" girl (her name is Ingrid). I wrote "ugly" because, despite their best efforts, she's really not that bad looking. At home, Cory gets advice from Eric, like always. Cory's worried that being seen at the dance with Ingrid with ruin his social status forever, but in a rare moment of sage clarity, Eric points out that Cory bailing on his date would look even worse. Further, Eric kicks off one of the best gags of the entire series. In class the next day, Mr. Turner is actively trying to engage his students in a discussion of Shaw's play Pygmalion. Check out the bulletin board in the back. "Christmas ...... the world". Poetry. If you've ever seen that episode of Family Guy where Stewie teaches a Cockney girl to be sophisticated, that's basically Pygmalion. Turner is explaining the themes of class prejudice, which have already started to pop up in this episode. Allison was high class, Cory middle, and Ingrid the callous-handed proletariat, comrade. The Shawn/Becky pairing doesn't really mesh with that, but Becky is more of a plot device than anything. The Spectre is risen. 3 sightings. And she's holding her textbook the way I keep talking about. Awesome, some more literary inspiration. Granted, this scheme is predicated on the notion that Shawn actually read "the pig play", but fine, maybe he read it on accident. At the Matthews house, the boys mock up a collage-woman for Becky to reference while she gives Ingrid a makeover upstairs. WOOAHHAHHOOO was that a vibrator joke?! That is bold, Boy Meets World. Morgan actually did a halfway decent job of saying that line, so that's cool too. Anyway, Becky manages to complete the makeover in about ten seconds, and Ingrid looks pretty good! But she uses her neck to deliver her lines. Cory is having second thoughts about this whole transforming Ingrid thing, but she insists, screaming "I want to be popular!" We're at lunch the next day and Ingrid necks out some disappointing news to Cory. The Spectre must feed. 4 sightings. Well Ingrid's kind of a bitch! Or is she? How many of you wouldn't do the exact same thing? Emma Watson comes bangin down your door tellin you to dump your girlfriend-of-a-few-days for her? Tell me you wouldn't. You're full of shit. It's Cory's fault anyway, and that turtleneck sure as shit didn't help him. I bet Rick Lawler ain't wearin no Christmas turtleneck. Did Mrs. Weasley make that for you, Cory? Shawn got to use that Girls' Network joke that Eric set up for us earlier, and it was hysterical. I love that line so much, and his nonchalant way of saying it is just perfect. That's Allison Cheever again at the end of the clip, in case you didn't recognize her. Jump ahead to the night of the dance, and it turns out that Allison only wanted a ride to the dance from Cory, since she's dating someone else and wanted to hide that fact from her parents. Well Allison's kind of a bitch! Or is she? Yeah, no, she's a bitch. Another Girls' Network bit, and pretty funny stuff from Feeny and Turner. This entire scene at the dance is pure gold. Did you see that girl dancing behind Shawn while he talked to Cory? She is feelin the grooooove. Ingrid shows up, soaking wet. All the popular kids were talking about how cool it would be to jump in the pool, but in practice it didn't quite work out for Ingrid. Moreover, the guy she brought to the dance finds a dry person he would rather be with. Mutually ashamed of their actions, Cory and Ingrid are about to reconcile when some other "cool" guy comes along and whisks Ingrid away. Alright, now she's a bitch. This brings us back to our pal Nietzsche. Ingrid has become a monster. The abyss has gazed into her. I know, I know, a lot of clips, but they're so good! They just had to go for that lame Christmas card ending, though, didn't they. To my great surprise, The Spectre isn't in any of the shots at the dance. She's probably lurking below the stage. No you're shitty editing. Anybody watch Shameless? That girl looks like Fiona... (brb) I'll be damned, it's her. P.S. you should be watching Shameless. I seriously love this episode, you guys. I think this is the episode I've watched the most times out of the whole series. If you even slightly care about Boy Meets World, go watch this episode. It's a fun story to begin with and the parallels to Pygmalion are on point. The humor is fucking FANTASTIC from every actor, and the Girls' Network is hilarious. Eric, Turner, and Feeny all provide great support. And at the end we're left thinking "Huh, I'm actually not sure who I feel sorry for." This. Episode. Rocks. I couldn't help including all those clips, there's just so much I wanted to show you. I made a compilation of all the Girls' Network bits. Show your friends, your estranged relatives, etc. www.youtube.com/watch?v=6v0jdwp_GwEPlot: 1.0 - Engaging, moderately unpredictable, based on a cool play. No complaints from me. Character Development: 1.0 - Cory definitely learned his lesson in this one, and was having doubts about the whole thing pretty early on. Good for him. Feeny ended up being a little less crotchety. Humor: 1.0 - Easiest Humor Badge ever. It's difficult writing so many of these reviews since my arsenal consists of "funny", "hilarious", and "hysterical". I try to cycle through them, but sometimes there's no way to avoid repeating myself. I'll start using "humorous" and "comical". Life Lesson: 1.0 - "It's all right there, in the pig play." The struggles of class prejudice juxtaposed with the change in attitude that comes from an increase in social status is the heart Pygmalion, and comes through vividly in this episode. 4.0 out of 4.0. Definitely one of my favorites.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 13:01:47 GMT
Episode 2x13 "Cyrano" Cyrano is a play about an ugly French soldier named Cyrano who falls in love with a beautiful woman named Roxane. Convinced that she could never love him, he uses his skills as a poet to help his good looking but dim friend win Roxane's affection in his stead. Ultimately, Cyrano receives a fatal injury, and as he is dying Roxane begins to realize that he wrote all of the things that made her swoon, and she confesses her love to him. In his last moments, Cyrano concedes that he has lost all but one important thing - his panache. This play is responsible for introducing the word "panache" into the English language. All in all, it's pretty fantastic. Mr. Turner recaps the scene where Cyrano helps his buddy get the girl, and queries the students for their opinions. The guys, led by Cory and Shawn, think Cyrano is a big dumb dummy, while the ladies, led by Topanga, think Cyrano's actions are romantic and noble. Turner with that wisdom, right off the bat. That scene could have been a whole episode. It set the foundation for the plot, had some good jokes, and put out a little social commentary. Great start. At the Matthews house, Alan is about to take his dear wife Amy to their anniversary dinner, but not before giving her a large gift! Alan's little jump is adorable. But what the fuck is Amy wearing? Is she going to perform a magic show for their anniversary? Maybe do a tap number? Either way, she's not happy with the gift. She definitely wanted a trash compactor, just not as an anniversary gift. I think that Amy is being a garbage wife right now. She should go in the compactor. Alan clearly put a lot of thought into this, and he's really excited to give it to her. I mean shit, he's not made of money. But maybe that's the point: this scene is supposed to tie back in with what Mr. Turner said about men and women having different ideas of what's romantic, and I am a guy after all. Any women out there wanna weigh in? And secondly, where the fuck is YOUR gift to HIM, Amy Matthews? Oh did you not get him anything? Golly, you are an absolute treat. I hope you choke on the dinner your husband is about to buy you. At school, Harley and his Michelle-Pfeiffer-in-Grease girlfriend Gloria are having some relationship problems. Shawn and Cory come around the corner because this is the only hallway in the school. The boys compare Harley's hair to the cafeteria's macaroni and cheese, resulting in this classic gif when they realize Harley is within earshot. Yes, that's The Spectre in the background, with ANOTHER new guy. And a slightly shorter haircut. But she can't hide from me. So Harley wants to beat the flattened collars right off of our heroes, but defers the violence to Frankie the Enforcer, who then escorts Shawn and Cory to the cafeteria for their executions. Having picked up on Cory's skills as a wordsmith and Shawn's natural charm and charisma, Frankie offers to let them live another day if they help him "woo" the girl he's fallen in love with. Shawn is unable to understand what "woo" means, and it's actually a lot funnier than it sounds. This all seems a little weird to me. Frankie has always been rather eloquent, and we've seen him write and read poetry. A diet would take him a lot farther than coaching from Shawn and Cory would. Back at the Matthews house, Amy is still pissy because the writers decided to make her a bad character in this episode. Outside, Alan is trying to figure out why his wife is completely different from how she's been in every episode until now and Feeny offers some insight. Feeny hasn't given us a whole lot of wisdom since Turner joined the cast, but we got some good stuff there. "Just a million well-intentioned men, backing up." It's a pretty fantastic metaphor. Frankie arrives with Cory and Shawn, and Eric is frightened at the sight of The Enforcer in his home. This is stupid since Frankie came over in episode 2x10 and Eric didn't bat an eye. I don't think the writers even knew each other existed, let alone communicated. So it's time for the Davids to coach Goliath. If that picture doesn't tell you exactly how this scene goes, you definitely have not seen enough sitcoms. Shawn whispers instructions to Frankie, Frankie fumbles trying to follow those instructions, Cory uses a high pitched girly voice, and the audience fucking devours it. Name a show that never did this shtick. Ugh. Well, Frankie decides that after ONE MINUTE of working on this, that he's not going to be able to confess to the girl by himself. Solution? Cory and Shawn hide in Frankie's locker and feed him lines, just like Cyrano hid in the shadows and fed lines to his dumb but handsome friend, who, for some reason, I can only imagine as Zapp Brannigan. So it's not exactly like Cyrano, the good looking guys are helping the yeti here, but you've got to admire the attempt. The endeavor is surprisingly successful, but Cory recognizes the girl's voice. So that's Frankie's locker now? It was Joey's in 2x01, and from observing the background I'm pretty sure every student at this school has owned that locker at some point. If that stupid statue wasn't there, we could at least pretend it was a different hallway each time. Maybe it's like a communist locker system, I don't know. Harley shows up in the only hallway in the school and wonders why Cory and Shawn are still alive. You gotta respect Harley, comin up with these quick, on the spot investigations. The boys claim to be the angels of themselves, having been killed by Frankie, and attempt to float away. It's actually hilarious. Now that that's a gif I'm seeing how strangely it was shot. Why does it cut twice? The second cut gives us the positioning for their next lines, but the first one just shows us Harley walking. Huh. Harley asks if they've seen Gloria. I really wish he'd followed that up with "I was supposed to meet her here." That would explain what she was doing here in the first place, and it would make Harley's appearance much less of a "pffff, uh huh." Can someone hire me please? Shawn accidentally lets on that they have seen Gloria, and Harley intends to learn the details. Back when Shawn and Cory were in the locker, all they heard was Frankie asking Gloria if she wanted to get a burger. Fortunately for our heroes, there's only one burger place in Philadelphia, so they know exactly where to take Harley. Again, this could have been made completely reasonable with a very slight tweaking of one line. Maybe they already ate the burgers, and then Frankie ate the plates, too. I mean, who hasn't been there before? Sometimes you just, you go into a frenzy, you know. You just gotta eat, and nothin's gonna stop you. So you eat the plates. Well Harley's pissed. And he should be! He and Gloria start to fight (verbally). Harley brings up the time he got her tires as a gift, but she says the tires were a stupid gift. This parallels Alan's trash compactor from earlier, prompting Cory to explain that all couples deal with that kind of shit, including his parents. I don't see how this addresses the issue of Gloria being on a date with her boyfriend's lackey, but fine. This gives Harley the idea to do something so ridiculous and absurd that it's actually funny. He goes to Cory's mother for advice. Amy Matthews has once again demonstrated that she does not understand how clothes work. She explains to Harley that women just want to be appreciated, and meaningful gifts are a way of showing them that they are appreciated. I think that's fucking stupid, but it's just the tip of the bull shit iceberg. What what what the WHAT THE FUCK? Are you FUCKING ME right now Boy Meets World? JEWELRY?! FUCKING JEWELRY? WHATTTTTTTT? !!!!!!!!!!! I quit. That was literally the worst ending I've ever seen on this show. No summary, no points. I'm done.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 13:04:05 GMT
Episode 2x14 "I Am Not a Crook"
ROUUUUUUND THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Whenever I read the word "versus" I think of that voice from Epic Rap Battles of History.
If you're anything like me, you've done some Boy Meets World math over the years, and there's one thing that seemingly doesn't add up. Cory starts 7th grade in season 2 and graduates from 12th grade in season 5, so we'd be missing two years somewhere. Well, the mystery just got a little less mysterious. Cory and Shawn are trying to find a club for Cory to join, but none of the ones on Shawn's list are appealing. Cory remarks "Here I am going into my 8th year of public education, and who am I, really?" You're a little young to be having an existential crisis, Cory, but that line blatantly serves to inform the audience that we've jumped ahead to 8th grade. Neato.
Turner's class begins, and he informs the students that it's time to elect an 8th grade class president and asks for nominations. A guy named Alvin nominates himself,
and Shawn nominates a reluctant Cory.
Why did Cory walk to the front of the class? A simple "no" would have worked. Thankfully, neither the students nor the audience cheered or clapped at the end of that, because otherwise I would have snapped my laptop in half. I hate scenes that end like this. What happens between the fade-to-black and the start of the next scene? Cory is just standing there awkwardly, how can he possibly follow that up? Does he wait until Turner's like "Hey Matyoos, put da flayg back in da holster, huh? I need ta teach a clayss heeee." *audience laughter* "Oh, right, sorry Mr. Turner, but there's never a bad time for patriotism." *Cory shrugs, grins, and raises his eyebrows* *audience erupts*
Did you guys see Turner's handwriting on the chalkboard? How can someone write that badly?
Cory's still not happy about running for president, since he's just an average guy, but Shawn understands that that's exactly what makes him appealing to a majority of the students.
You can see The Spectre on the right of the frame there, with another new boy toy to extract the life essence from. She knows I'm on to her, and since cutting her hair in the last episode didn't work, she tried dying it here. But I'm no fool. And what the fuck was that face she made at the camera?
Seriously, who the fuck does this girl think she is? Who keeps letting her on the set? Is she blowing somebody?
The next couple minutes are Shawn filming a campaign commercial for Cory, and it's really just the opposite of entertaining and involves Eric having terrible lines. I think we've still got a ways to go before Eric gets interesting and it's becoming painful.
Somehow Alvin has rallied like 15 students in the lunchroom to go over his campaign platform. Cory shows up and reciprocates by making the same bull shit campaign promises in every school-election episode of every show since Shakespeare. "Less homework", "shorter school week", "get rid of Feeny", blah blah blah. There's nothing inherently wrong with a school-election story, it's just that Boy Meets World isn't bringing anything new to the table here. The protagonist is compromising his integrity to try to win the election. Yippee. Will he be able to go through with it or will his conscience overpower his pride in the end. I can't even begin to try to guess. At least it's time for Feeny to throw the gauntlet at Turner's feet.
Alvin has some girl dressed like Alice in Wonderland to give a testimony. Allegedly, Shawn once said, as a child, that "all girls are icky". This shouldn't really affect Cory, but it gets the students in frenzy. It's really hard to watch this entire scene. They're constantly trying to make 10 people seem like 100. They're not loud, they're not threatening, and they're not enthusiastic. Yuck. At least Arya Stark is in this scene.
Of course it's not really her, but look at that face.
The mob chant for Cory to fire Shawn, and he does, because these 10 votes are absolutely critical to his success. Shawn's pissed. Why aren't these kids in class?
Later that night, Alan talks with his son about all the nonsense promises being made in the course of this campaign. Alan tells Cory about running an honest campaign and not screwing over his friends and stuff. It's the exact same shit that every other character in the show has said to Cory, but for some reason it sticks this time and the sad music plays while Cory looks introspective and guilt-ridden. I guess an honest evaluation of the political process would just be too edgy for 1994.
So now we're at the debate and boy does Alvin piss me off. His voice, his delivery... maybe that's just good acting. Shawn mosies on out of the woodwork to announce that he's running for president too.
Point Feeny.
Shawn and Cory start to argue, but as soon as Alvin slings some mud on Cory, Shawn jumps to his defense. Intimidated by his opponents, Alvin drops out of the race. Shawn and Cory get all unreasonably sentimental and shit and both ultimately drop out of the race too. Topanga walks up on stage from the audience and wins over the crowd. The King is dead, all hail the Queen.
My GOD this episode was bad. The obvious first point is protagonist privilege, an expression I just made up to describe when the entire universe bends its will to focus everyone's attention on the protagonists. Cory said at one point that there are over 400 students in their grade, but the only nominations were him and Alvin? How is that possible? Second is the inconsistency. Why did anyone think Cory could ever be a good school president? He has literally never done any work at school before. There was a scene a couple minutes long where Feeny disciplines some student and Cory's like "hey, I'll get rid of Feeny if I'm elected". Why even bother having that scene? It was never mentioned again. Third is the bull shit ending. A presidential debate in 8th grade? What the fuck could they possibly debate? The way that Shawn and Cory just start feeling sorry for themselves and completely disregard how much of everyone's time they're wasting makes this entire episode completely worthless.
It was written by Steve Young, who didn't write any other episodes in the series, thank goodness.
0 points for everything except humor which gets 0.5 I guess.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 13:04:34 GMT
Episode 2x15 "Breaking Up is Really Really Hard to Do"
Yeah. It's pretty hard.
The show opens at Chubbie's, the only restaurant in Philly, and Cory's reading aloud the contents of a Hallmark card, using his "can you believe this shit?" voice. You know the one. It's an invitation to a dinner party, but it's couples only. Cory, a proud bachelor, feels slighted by these strict requirements and looks to a nearby Shawn for solidarity, but Shawn's tongue is busy holding hands with the tongue of some girl we'll never see again. The girl goes off to write in her diary that she kissed a boy, or whatever, leaving our heroes alone at their table. In his infinite cool-headed wisdom, Shawn points out that Cory merely needs to ask a girl to the party. He suggests Wendy, who is also currently at Chubbie's because there's nowhere else in the universe for her to be.
Wendy is adorable. You may remember (read as: I remember) her from episode 2x02. That episode ended with Cory and Wendy agreeing that they should get to know each other better before being boyfriend and girlfriend. Apparently they did, and now Cory is comfortable with the idea of being a couple with her. She must have been sick during the turnaround dance. Anyway Wendy is really excited and readily accepts.
Awwwwwwwwww. This actress does a great job as Wendy. Her tone and demeanor remind me of Lila from Hey Arnold.
At the Matthews house, Eric's report card is filled with something that rhymes with "gad brades". As punishment, his parents forbid him to go on any more dates until it rhymes with "good grades". Crap, switching the letters didn't work that time. But hey, awesome, we've got an Eric side story in this one. I'm going to invent the term "Ericlogue" for this. It's like "epilogue" or "prologue", but for Eric.
Once again Amy is wearing four layers of the same color and Eric has buttoned only the bottom button of his shirt. I'm sure you're all as frustrated by this as I am.
At school the next day, Wendy is waiting for Cory outside Turner's class after the bell rings. She wants to make plans with Cory for the summer, even though the summer is not even remotely close. Wendy also comments on Cory's next class and straightens his collar as she sends him off with a kiss.
This scene shows us everything we need to know about Wendy. She's coming on way too strong, but she's also a sweetheart and genuinely cares about Cory.
The Ericlogue resumes. A pretty girl named Lori wants Eric to come over and help her "get the heat up" in her hot tub. In a refreshingly surprising move, Eric obeys his parents and turns Lori down. Our boy is obviously not happy about this, but just then his charming, well spoken, and all around amazing best friend Jason comes along and suggests a "parentally acceptable, highly satisfying, dating substitute."
Listen... men... boys... lads and blokes... if you've never had a $25+ salon haircut from a beautiful woman, then that is something that you need to do. During my senior year of college, my stylist was Aphrodite herself and I always loved going to see her. Female friends of mine have described similar experiences with handsome male stylists. The point is, Jason is spot on here. This really is one of life's secret pleasures. What's interesting though is that they built this surprisingly well set up salon for one episode, but they won't build a second hallway to use for three more seasons at the school. I'm pretty sure that plant on the right was in the Matthews' living room in season one.
That skip was intentional, from "I know what the homework is" to where Shawn says "End it this minute". Figured that was better than posting two separate clips. For the future, if a clip skips, it's intentional. And remember the socks gift, that's important later.
In that clip we saw Shawn and Cory hand in poems they've written, and when class starts Turner decides to read some of them out loud so they can all discuss them. His first selection is Shawn's poem Welfare, which actually might be social commentary as the first stanza reads "My uncle Ralph he does not care, 'cause twice a month he gets welfare". Cory passes the break-up note to Wendy just as Turner starts to read her poem titled Leave Me And I'll Die. It is as creepy as/creepier than it sounds. Wendy reads the break-up note, starts crying, leaves class, and Cory goes after her. Cory manages to convince her that he doesn't want to break up, even though the note said "I think we should break up." It's not exactly believable, but maybe when you're as smitten as Wendy you'll take what you can get.
Later that day...
So Wendy has come to make and eat dinner, uninvited. Alan catches on to the state of things pretty quickly.
That's one of my favorite bits. I've seen this episode a thousand times and it always gets me. It takes a little more convincing, but eventually Amy gets weirded out as well. Remember that this scene lasted four minutes, I want to come back to this later.
At school, Cory tells Shawn the story of another failed attempt to break up with Wendy. Resigned, Cory starts to imagine the final years of his life. We see an elderly Cory and Wendy having dinner at some place we're supposed to pretend isn't Chubbie's. Cory is stealing everything, from the dinner rolls to the salt shakers. I think that's hysterical, old people really just don't give a shit. Wendy goes to get her husband of 90 years some prunes, and old-Shawn shows up. Their old-man voices are actually really funny, and we get one of those classic Boy Meets World lines.
They even gave Cory a wedding ring to wear for that scene. FINALLY they pay attention to some details.
We're out of Cory's imagination now, and he and Wendy are eating at Chubbie's. Thinking it's not a big deal, Cory reveals that he wasn't looking for anything too long-term when he asked Wendy to be his girlfriend. Wendy says she doesn't want to be in a relationship based on a lie, and breaks up with Cory. Then we see one of the most genuine, heart wrenching moments so far in the series.
The socks.
During the credits, the Ericlogue concludes with Eric trying to "break up" with the stylist. But she ropes him back in. Breaking up is hard to do, folks.
The Spectre wasn't in this one, so I don't think we'll see her again. That's probably a good thing, that joke was getting tired.
What happened to the dinner party? Isn't that why Cory paired up with Wendy in the first place? Speaking of dinners, let's talk about that four minute dinner scene with the Matthews family. It was entertaining, but Amy and Alan's opinions of Wendy had no impact on the story, and ultimately Cory wanted to stay with Wendy, so that was all kinda pointless.
Why does Cory always get the crazy girls? For that matter, DIDN'T WE ALREADY DO THIS? Episode 2x10??? A lady by the name of Theresa Keiner??? She was basically this exact same trope. I guess she was more "let's fuck" moving-too-fast, while Wendy was "let's get married forever" moving-too-fast.
Plot: 0.75 - This is a great episode, but we did sort of already do this story, like I said.
Character Development: 1.0 - Cory learns that the standard serial monogamy of high school doesn't really apply to him, which of course sets the stage for his long-term relationship with Topanga.
Humor: 1.0 - Lots of good stuff from the whole cast, but what really sold me was the Ericlogue. He wasn't the saboteur/older brother we've been seeing lately, he was just a silly, doofy guy. And that's the Eric that we all love.
Life Lesson: 0.5 - Fuck the police, date whoever you want. But at the same time, it's high school dating. Don't take it too seriously.
3.25 out of 4. Watch it.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 13:07:33 GMT
Episode 2x16 "Danger Boy"
You guys gotta understand that Eric wants to get laid.
Like...
Home boy is thirsty.
So our boy Ewic Maffyoos is tryin to put the moves on some girl who's like, I dunno, a six, under the pretense of studying. Eric wants to bang over the weekend, after the exam they're studying for has passed, but Six's younger, female cousin is going to be in town and she wants to spend time with her. Eric suggests a double date and tries to advertise his little brother as a date for Six's cousin. Cory betrays himself by coming into the living room and pretending to be a fountain.
In an unusual display of loyalty, Eric still tries to sell her on Cory, but Shawn comes downstairs to grab a soda and is much more mature and charming. Six suggests that Shawn be the date for her cousin. Eric is still hesitant, and it's completely blowing my mind right now what a good brother he's being, but Six uses her female wiles to persuade him in favor of Shawn.
#wiles
At school the next day, Mr. Feeny reminds Mr. Turner that the faculty meeting is today. Turner's reaction is beautifully spot on for anyone who works at a job with too many meetings. Like me.
Solidarity, my brotha.
Eric successfully recruits Shawn for the double date. Awesome. No wishy-washin around, we're diving right in. The two young men walk offset and we jump forward to the faculty meeting. Mimi from The Drew Carey Show is leading the staff meeting, which is odd since Feeny is the principal. She is overtly sexually harassing Turner, so she might as well actually be Mimi, and Turner agrees to supervise the "class ski trip". Believe it or not, that is actually a real thing in this series that does come up again later. You can also see Scuba Club there on the board, a fun throwback to season one.
Why are all the "A"s capitalized? Feeny was Dive Master at the scuba club in season 1, so there was probably a serious bloodbath between him and this RF guy, but either way Feeny lost out. So Mimi automatically assumes Mr. Feeny is going to want to be in charge of the Chess Club, and he's not too happy about people making assumptions about him. There are only like five people at this meeting because whatever, and the meeting is being held in the cafeteria, also because whatever.
At the Matthews house, Amy comes home with a new haircut but Alan doesn't really notice. If you haven't realized by now, I love talking about hairstyles. Every person I meet I thoroughly examine their hair. I pay attention to that shit. But the last time a girl I was seeing got a haircut, I didn't notice. If anyone on earth should notice, it's me, but I didn't. It's a curse that all men have, and to all the women out there, we're sorry. Regardless, Amy paid way too much for this haircut.
Oh William Russ. I love his voice. I watched that clip three times in the process of making it, and three times I laughed at "Well tell him to stop!" Perfect delivery.
The next scene is centered on Cory, and he's not at home or at school, so tell me, Mr. Holmes, where is he? For that matter, since Eric and Shawn are on that double date, where are they? And finally, where is the King of Rock 'n Roll?
Elvis leaves with his food and nobody says another word about it. It's completely out of nowhere and I can't decide if it's funny or not. I don't think I've given a Bonus Badge this season and this bit caught me completely off guard, so let's throw down an Elvis Presley Bonus Badge. Shawn thinks that Eric already asked Cory to go on the double date, and that Cory declined, so Shawn has no problem leading Cory over to Eric. The younger Matthews brother quickly grasps the situation and is like "what the fuck, why didn't you ask me?" and Shawn is like "what the fuck, why didn't you ask him?" Cory is rightfully pissed so he goes home.
Later that night, something amazing happens. Something unheard of. Two characters on a television show address the hostility between them by communicating with each other. Someone call the Pope, it's time for Ragnarok. Eric recounts what happened in the first scene. Already knowing the answer, Cory asks "the fountain hurt me?" with a sigh. Eric explains that Six was looking for someone more "dangerous" for her cousin, and that Cory is slightly less dangerous than "lime jello".
I think that was Friday, so now it's Monday and Mr. Feeny's class has just ended. Feeny can see that something's bothering Cory and offers to help. Student explains to teacher, and the latter tries to pass off some of that "you shouldn't worry what people think of you" crap, but just then Turner shows up in the doorway and taunts Feeny a little about that whole club situation. Feeny shoos him away, and then amends his earlier statement to include that one must leave oneself open to new experiences in order to grow and subsequently rub the haters' noses in it. To do just that, Cory and Mr. Feeny resolve to do something dangerous and spontaneous.
At the Matthews house, we discover that Alan lost 300 dollars in his recent poker game. Instead of being immature children, they both acknowledge that sometimes they do silly things with money and essentially just laugh it off. This episode has had like 90 opportunities for stupid boring drama, but the writers had the fortitude to ignore those easy stories. Way to go.
In the boys' bedroom, Eric finds a note from Cory saying that he's gone to "the amusement park" with Mr. Feeny. Eric is unreasonably alarmed by this note, and dashes off. At the park, a woman from a local news station is reporting on the grand opening of "the most terrifying amusement park attraction ever created". Guess who's at the front of the line?
The reporter is played by McNally Sagal, who has actually had a legitimate acting career since being on Boy Meets World, but I only know her from Sons of Anarchy. Those guys behind her look like they should be in the Sons of Anarchy. The writers have taken a lot of liberties here: I have never seen a roller coaster with only two seats. Why is the grand opening of this ride at night? How could they possibly have been first in line when they were at school all day? I was going to ask if Philly even has amusement parks, but apparently Hershey Park isn't that far so whatever. IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY, the point I wanted to make is that we don't care or even really notice those bigger details because the show distract us with small details: The super tough guys in line for the ride, Feeny's hilarious cotton candy, the puke-bibs... Our attention is grabbed by the fun, unnecessary things they add to the scene to draw away from the necessary things that they glossed over or ignored. And that's just fine with me, because you can tell that they actually tried to draw us into this scene.
So anyway they board the coaster and then Eric and Turner run up from the side to try to talk them out of it.
Apparently Turner got the same sort of note as Eric, but from Feeny. This is.. ugh, okay, look Boy Meets World, I just defended you on taking liberties with the plot, I don't know if I can rationalize this one. Maybe they ran up the handicap line or something, but where would Feeny have even left that note for Turner? Regardless, Eric and Turner concede that Cory and Feeny are "dangerous", and then the ride starts. And I want you to see it.
My favorite thing is how the second piece of stock footage is blatantly a hanging coaster. My non-sarcastic favorite thing is how Cory and Feeny switched seats. Another small but hilarious detail. Cory and Feeny trick Eric and Turner into getting in the car by telling them that Cory lost his shoe.
Definitely the dumbest part of an already quite-dumb scene. No one would ever let this happen, and Eric could have blatantly seen that Cory is still wearing both of his shoes. I don't want to be that guy, but this scene in particular is full of nonsense. During the credits, Alan is hosting a poker game and Elvis shows up again.
One thing about this show is that you can never tell which stories are going to be important. The Alan/Amy story was just filler, completely unrelated to everything else. In 2x15, Feeny hustled Turner in racquetball, and that was filler as well. Sometimes all the story threads come together, and other times it's hard to really know what to pay attention to. But I suppose for the casual viewer, it doesn't make a whole lot of difference.
Plot: .75 - Pretty much every episode this season has been founded on Cory's insecurities or his lack of some quality that Shawn has, so nothing new there. What is new is his relating to Feeny on that insecurity. Cory and Feeny team up very very rarely, and it's always a lot of fun.
Character Development: 1.0 - We're well aware that Cory is an insecure teenager, but seeing Mr. Feeny in a state of vulnerability is unique and refreshing. Watching him overcome that vulnerability is a real treat.
Humor: .5 - In the early seasons, a lot of the best humor comes from the chemistry between Shawn and Cory, but Shawn had maybe 30 seconds of screen time in this episode. On the other hand, William Russ is always funny as Alan, and Cory did have a few good bits with Eric.
Life Lesson: 1.0 - This was one of those switcheroo life lessons. It looked like we were going to get lectured on not caring what people think of us, but we ended up with something much more meaningful. It's the same sort of lesson we learned back in 2x12 when Mr. Turner was discussing Pygmalion. In the real world, how people perceive you has a very real effect on your life. That's not to say that you should only worry what people think, but just like Cory and Feeny in this episode, it's good to try to improve yourself if you want to be perceived differently. We are all special little snowflakes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to better ourselves when we can.
3.25 out of 4.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 13:11:13 GMT
Episode 2x17 "On the Air"
This episode is bad, so I'm going to make up my own better story to go with the pictures.
John Adams High has just finished the construction and installation of its extremely hi-tech Karaoke Room. Feeny's birthday is that weekend, plus he's the god damn principal, so he gets first dibs. He brings in his favorite student, that nerdy guy Alvin from 2x14, and the pair perform an absolutely adorable rendition of "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better".
The Karaoke Room is broadcast throughout the school during lunch. Shawn and Cory are listening from the cafeteria. The boys are so impressed by Feeny and Alvin that they jury rig a recording device into the loudspeaker. Shawn's uncle Ralph works as at a local music label, so the boys' plan is to drop off the recording and get Feeny a record deal for his birthday.
Unfortunately, Mr. Turner comes in with his fuckin 10 calorie lunch (seriously, look at that) and catches them in the act. The boys want the record deal to be a surprise, but Mr. Turner will almost certainly spill the beans to Feeny. To cover, they tell Turner that the recording is for them to listen to at home, so they can take notes and try to be better singers themselves. Turner believes their story, and admits that he was thinking of doing the same thing. He explains to Shawn and Cory that the best way to improve at singing is to practice, and suggests they try out the Karaoke Room for themselves. Realizing that their lie has led to an imminent, meteoric rise to stardom, Cory and Shawn excitedly practice foreplay for all those groupies they're about to have.
At lunch the next day, Cory and Shawn are in the Karaoke Room. They've brought along a female student and potential groupie named Sarah to sing with them. Shawn sits out the first song while Cory and Sarah perform "A Whole New World" from Disney's Aladdin.
That scene honestly made me cry. I love that song. You probably don't recognize her with red hair, but Sarah is played by Taylor Swift. She sings this song quite well, and there's no doubt it played a big part in getting her career started. The students in the cafeteria are all very impressed by the performance, and rightfully so.
But wait! Cory and Shawn realize that they left the recording device in the loudspeaker the day before. Because the tech in 1994 had a really shitty amount of memory, Cory's performance of A Whole New World has overwritten their previous recording of Feeny doing I Can Do Anything Better Than You. So they've ruined their gift for Feeny, but in for a penny in for a pound, so Cory wants to try to get a record deal for himself, and Shawn agrees to be his agent. They couldn't afford to build a set for the record label office, so we just skip ahead to the next day, and indeed Cory got the record deal. He performs again at lunch and the groupies show up.
Good thing he got that practice earlier.
So this has disturbed the natural order of things. Shawn is used to being fawned over, but now he has to watch Cory get all the attention. He snidely resigns as Cory's agent and storms off. During class later that day, Mr. Feeny observes the hostility between Cory and Shawn and tries to understand the situation. Cory explains that Shawn is being a jealous piece of crap, and then Feeny unsuccessfully tries to mend the friendship.
Cory goes off to the Karaoke Room again, and gives such a commanding performance that the entire school bursts into dance, and it's really just, it's incredible. Watch this gif a few times and really understand how ridiculous some of these people looked on national television.
As you can see, Feeny and Turner think this situation's become a little too much to handle. Their only option is to get Shawn to dethrone Cory as the voice of the Karaoke Room. They know that Shawn has a more sultry and smooth singing voice than Cory, one that the students won't want to dance to. So the two teachers go find Shawn and bring him to the Karaoke Room. Turner pushes Cory away from the microphone and Shawn rushes in to start singing "Fly Me To The Moon" by Frank Sinatra.
The students all love Shawn, and now all the groupies want Shawn instead of Cory. You can see how sad Cory is in the back of that gif there. That's the look of a reinstated status quo, my friends. Everything's back to normal and the students aren't dancing anymore. Since this show has no sense of continuity whatsoever, I doubt we'll ever hear about the Karaoke Room again. Also Eric won 10 million dollars.
Obvious perfect score, only a genius could have written this episode.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 13:11:54 GMT
Episode 2x17 "On the Air" Revisited
While I was reviewing "No Guts No Cory" I realized that I can survive a review of anything. And I won't feel satisfied with this blog unless I've actually reviewed every episode. So let's do a real review of On the Air this time. Plus, the next episode of season 5 is annoying and I don't want to watch it.
Mister Feeny is at some sort of radio console in what appears to be a supply closet, along with a student wearing a sweater vest. He looks like his name is Melvin, which reminds me that it's actually Alvin. Feeny announces over the radio that they're re-booting the high school's radio program after ten years, and accidentally hits a button that starts producing pig noises, and the audience eats up that terrible humor like, well, pigs. Feeny starts playing some Michael Bolton, which really isn't that bad, but we cut to the lunchroom where Shawn is trying to cut through the room's loudspeaker's wire with a plastic knife. Turner puts a stop to their shenanigans, and offers some useful advice.
That speaks to a greater issue of people (especially adolescents) mindlessly complaining about shit without actually doing any work to try to change it. Shawn starts off as one of those types of people, initially resistant to Cory's excitement at Turner's suggestion. "I don't wanna do nothin'," he explains, and it really has some of that Boy Meets World essence that we love, where Cory is hatching a scheme and Shawn's tagging along for the ride. The difference between this and the Eric/Jack dynamic is that Cory's plans actually make sense, and Shawn generally provides input, and participates, rather than heckling from the sidelines the whole time.
The next morning at breakfast, Eric tries to weasel some money out of his parents.
Either I'm losing my edge or Morgan actually says her lines pretty well in this scene. Regardless, Eric doesn't end up needing money because he gets a package from what is essentially Publishers Clearing House, saying he's won 10 million dollars and has to sign up for some magazine subscriptions or whatever. Eric falls for the scam and his parents don't try too hard to convince him otherwise. Sometimes it's just not worth the effort. Maybe this also serves to show the target audience how these scams work.
For reasons I cannot understand, Mister Feeny has allowed Cory and Shawn to do their little radio show, which is where we cut to next. They're interviewing a girl named Sarah from the student council about the bake sale to raise money for the school dance.
That's basically every first date I've ever had. Except Shawn Hunter isn't usually there.
Sarah is played by Hillary Tuck, who showed up again in the Disney World episode as a different character who totally could have just been the same character. She's also in episode 2x22 of House, and I love House, so I might have to watch that one. Okay I just watched the first few minutes, she's the main patient and it looks like a good episode. I don't actually remember how it ends.
So yeah this radio show is a piece of crap and nobody cares. Some kid calls in and starts speaking German, but Cory informs him that the German hour isn't until the next hour. A crushing disappointment. But then! A guy named Spencer calls in and tries to ask out Sarah. Cory wants to focus on the bake sale, but Shawn seizes the opportunity for some gossip radio. HOPEFULLY Sarah actually knows who this guy is, because she agrees to go out with him. Cory, ever the pragmatist, thinks the show is going to devolve into a bunch of lonely, thirsty guys trying to hit on girls (he is correct) but since this is a TV show, that's not what happens.
Sister you do not need to go on the radio to talk to boys. You could... sit at a ham radio and every guy in school would start learning Morse Code.
Cory declares the name of the show to be "Lunchtime Lust", and I'm honestly surprised they can say the word lust on this show. I think the girl in front there has the same acting coach as Candace Cameron.
What is wrong with these people? Literally all she says in that gif is her name (Jasmine Fontana), and she raises her eyebrows four times. Well Sarah didn't do it, and that's why she got to be on House.
Anyway, Mister Feeny, shocked that Cory and Shawn aren't taking their responsibilities seriously, brings down the hammer.
He hasn't brought down a lot of hammers in season 5 so far. I hope that changes.
Later, Feeny's class ends and he announces that the next lesson will be on the Bill of Rights. Holy shit, Feeny's actually teaching history. The boys take this opportunity to try to assert their first amendment rights, and I'm honestly impressed they know what the first amendment is.
Oh Season 2 Shawn. You are a truly magnificent creature and I miss you.
Feeny doesn't give a great explanation for why Cory and Shawn are wrong, but I'm pretty sure it's because the first amendment only prevents the government from restricting your speech. Like you can't just go into Wal Mart and start yelling the N word and expect to get away with it, but you won't go to jail for it. It's the same with that Duck Dynasty guy and Donald Sterling. They're allowed by law to say whatever they want, but the TV network and the NBA can (and did) dole out whatever punishment they want.
In the hallway, Jasmine Fontana tells the boys that her and all the other girls "in the locker room" want them to be back on the air, and they resolve to do just that. They look to Mister Turner to help them achieve their goal.
He thinks they fucked up, and is reluctant to help. But they wear him down, and makes them promise not to go near the radio station while he tries to smooth things over with Feeny. Turner walks off and the boys immediately dismiss everything he said. They see Alvin in the hallway and grab him to go steal some radio equipment. Alvin claims to have put the station together, but that's a lie because Feeny said it had been there for ten years.
Turner goes to talk to Feeny, and manages to get a second chance for Shawn and Cory using the same sort of awesome teacher mentality that we talked about in 5x04 with Schopenhauer.
Also Feeny makes a joke about banging Turner's aunt. Unfortunately, just as Feeny says he'll think about it, the intercom blasts some electric guitar and Cory and Shawn are like "we're back bitches". The extras in the hallway are super excited about this new radio show. Cory and Shawn play some dance music and everybody starts dancing in their faded blue jeans.
I wonder what that guy's up to nowadays. I hope this was his big break.
Feeny and Turner maneuver their way through the mosh pit hallways searching for the boys, but can't find them (they checked the radio room first, obviously). But Shawn is dumb and makes a comment about a bucket, so Feeny ultimately finds them and a kidnapped Alvin in the janitor's closet.
Season 2 Shawnnnnnnnnn. Come back to meeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Feeny takes them to Mister Turner, who's waiting in the radio room for some reason. He makes another attempt at explaining the 1st amendment, but it's still not great. He says "the 1st amendment does not give you the right to turn the school into a rave", which is true, but doesn't really hit that core idea I was talking about earlier. He asks the boys why they wanted to be on the radio so badly and sneakily flips on the radio microphones. Cory talks about how they were just trying to find their place since everyone else seems to have their identities figured out. They go on to explain that they feel lost, and these ideas really resonate with the extras in the hallways, indicated by them standing up and looking at the loudspeakers.
They get a bunch of callers, and even Feeny calls in commending Turner on his expert handling of a difficult situation. Recall that Feeny's solution was to just kick them off the air, but Turner channeled their passion for working the radio into something productive.
THOUGHT I FORGOT, DIDN'T YA?
Guess that makes Turner the winner. They didn't really do any opposing philosophy stuff in season 3, and Turner was barely in season 4. If I'm missing anything though, definitely leave a comment.
During the credits, the Publishers Clearing House guys, led by Robin Leach (who isn't actually the guy who does that) show up at the door with the ten million dollar check. The joke is that the check is actually for their neighbor. Leach hosted "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous", and talks about the Matthews home like he's doing that show, which was culturally funny in 1994, but it's sort of lost now.
*Edit* That episode of House WAS really good. The second season is probably my favorite, it's so damn good.
Plot: 0.75 - Yeah it's fine. Eric's story is pretty dumb, but it doesn't take up much time. I'm so glad they gave Eric an actual story arc in seasons 3 and 4, these little nothings got old pretty quick. The notion of a radio station at a scool (outside of like, morning announcements) seems pretty strange to me, but who cares. It was fun.
Character Development: 0.5 - Not much to speak of, but we got to see some conflicting philosophy between our favorite teachers. And the vulnerability/lostness of Cory and Shawn is interesting but not exactly new.
Humor: 0.75 - Season 2 Shawn, yo.
Life Lesson: 0.5 - I appreciate the decision to deal with the 1st amendment, but they reaaaaaaaaally could have explained it better.
2.5 out of 4.0. I must have had a bee in my bonnet the first time, it's definitely not that bad. I enjoyed the whole thing. And we can all finally pretend that that abomination I wrote the first time doesn't exist. But I'll keep it up, because I'm an artist, and you gotta own up to that sort of thing.
No badges, but that's fine, it was still a good episode.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 13:12:47 GMT
Episode 2x18 "By Hook or By Crook"
If you check out the comments on the reviews for 1x03, 1x07, 2x04, and 2x05, you'll see that I've got my first scathing critic! Let's pull out the old checklist here... Fiery, self-righteous critic? Check Intro animation? Check Celebrity acknowledgment? Checkaroni. I'd say we're really startin to rock and roll here folks.
Eric and his best friend, His Majesty The Fantastic Jason, come home to the Matthews house with some new books about backpacking across Europe. Some of them slightly more enlightening than others.
How beautiful is that gif? I figured out a better way to make them. Welcome to the future. (If it's moving slow, just wait for it to finish one full cycle, and then it should be good.)
So Eric and Jason are planning to trek across Europe over the summer. Alan warns his son that that trip ain't happenin unless Eric can pull together a B average at school. This sets the premise for the Ericlogue, and this might be the first time Eric's education has been central to the plot. He's usually chasing skirts or setting up some scheme or other, so this is a nice change.
In Turner's class the next day, Topanga exists again. Our lovely heroine learns from Shawn that Cory is out sick. Indeed he's "got somethin bad", as is evidenced by Shawn's claim that today is film strip day in Sex Ed and Cory still isn't there. That seems backwards to me, Sex Ed was only ever incredibly, uncomfortably awkward at my schools, it was like an episode of The Office. Either way, that's a pretty strong sign that this episode will focus on Eric. Turner comes in and regales the class with the story of his motorcycle being run over that morning. Shawn promises Turner a good deal if he goes to get the motorcycle fixed at his uncle Mike's shop and offers a business card. This is followed up by a lovely display of the show's self-awareness.
Good on you, Boy Meets World, for acknowledging Shawn's limitless uncles. Do you see the kid on the left? He's like "god dammit I'm trying to learn and this fuckin Shawn kid fuckin ruins every single class I am so done with this bull shit-". And the girl in the white shirt between Turner and Shawn starts flipping through her book. Clearly her talents are wasted in the background. For real though, she's in every episode that has a scene in this classroom, but I don't think she ever gets a name.
The next scene starts at the end of Mr. Feeny's history class. Eric and God's Greatest Gift Jason try to persuade their teacher into giving them both Bs instead of their usual C+s on the exam that Thursday. Feeny is not convinced, and we get to see William Daniels's legendary "how do I put this gently..." expressions.
Is there anything worse than Thursday exams? It's like, damn, just make it Friday, come on. You need the weekend to dampen the blow, you know? "Well I can't answer any of these questions but at least tomorrow's Saturday." Anyway, Feeny suggests they get tutoring from a senior. I don't understand why Shimmering Magnificence Jason is worried about his own grades, maybe he's just trying to be a good friend. They agree to work with a tutor, but Eric isn't happy about it and explains that all tutors are Minkus-y nerds. Eric discovers that he is incorrect.
Oh Will Friedle! Those faces! Take my heart, I beg of you, you wonderful actor. I say this every time, but Eric and Transcendent Stupendous Jason are so damn good together. The tutor's name is Torie, and she's played by Terri Ivens. Ms. Ivens has had a decent acting career, including a starring role on All My Children, and the obvious highlight is her role on the 2012 TV movie "Piranhaconda", which can't possibly be anything less than fantastic.
Later we come in on the conclusion of Angelic Aurora Jason's session with Torie. Eternal Splendor Jason tries to flirt with her, but she ain't havin it. On the other hand, when Eric comes in for his session, Torie gets a bad case of the flirty flirts and suggests they go somewhere more comfortable. Wuh oh, is that the smell of imminent compromised integrity? I've smelled it on myself enough times to recognize it anywhere.
That came up on a Google image search for "compromised integrity". How is that even a pyramid? It's the 60 degree angle of choice, really. Whatever.
We're at Uncle Mike's repair shop now, where Shawn evidently works part time, and it's the same set that was previously used as a towing company in 1x18. The actor playing Uncle Mike was an unnamed delivery guy in 2x10. Maybe he just works a bunch of jobs. Maybe he just wants to provide for his family. You don't know. Shawn convinces his uncle to give Mr. Turner a good deal, and it's super sweet to see the planting of the first seeds of the relationship between Shawn and Turner.
Eric and Torie are at Chubbie's, which is not exactly my idea of "somewhere more comfortable", and there's no ice in their drinks. Torie confesses that she's super hot for Eric, offers to give him the answers to Feeny's test, and, to the audience's excitement, kisses him. At lunch the next day, Eric and Gallant Perfection Jason have just completed the exam and both admit to struggling with it, in fact Eric left half the test blank. Eric tells his best friend that Torie offered to give him the answers, but he didn't take them. Mr. Feeny arrives, having immediately graded their tests out of a "morbid curiosity".
Hail Him Praise Him Jason got a B because he's awesome. Mr. Feeny calls him "Mr. Marsden", so they're actually using his full real name for his character's name. Fascinating. I never knew that.
And Eric got an A-. After lunch Eric confronts Torie, wondering how he could have scored an A- when he left half the test blank. Somehow Torie managed to fill out the answers on Eric's test in between the class ending and Feeny immediately grading it, but fine. Eric explains that he wanted to prove he was smart, and she talks down to him like "why do you care about school when you're so good looking?" This is a very weird thing for her to ask since she is also good looking and also cares about school.
At Uncle Mike's shop, Mike tries to charge Turner a lot more than they agreed on and Shawn comes to his defense once again. You have to wonder if the writers got here and thought "you know, this is good stuff, we need to do more of this", or if they had already planned out Shawn and Turner's friendship arc.
It's late at night and we're at the Matthews house, and Eric is studying fervently in the kitchen. Mr. Feeny is a black hearted monster, why is he giving another test so soon? There's no real sense of the passage of time here, maybe it's actually been a while, who knows. Eric gives Torie a call, hoping she can direct him to the most important topics to study. The compromised-integrity tutor doesn't think Eric can pass the exam without cheating and tells him all the answers to the test, which Eric reluctantly and guiltily writes down.
Overcome with guilt, Eric confesses his cheating to Mr. Feeny, but lies about the source of the answers. We've been lacking in powerful Feeny lessons this season, but the wait pays off here, for sure. Eric claims that he'll always just be an average student, that he just isn't capable of excelling in academia.
Mr. Feeny.
Brings.
Down.
The hammer.
Mr. Feeny believes Eric is capable, and points to Eric's laziness and his affinity for easy excuses. It's all really quite inspiring, and sets the groundwork for their friendship arc. Anyone who has seen this show knows how emotionally powerful the relationship between Eric and Feeny becomes, and it all starts right here. Awesome.
No caption necessary.
Torie comes along, having been called to Feeny's office before this scene started for some unrelated reason. We get that whole "How could you tell him what I did?!" "I didn't..." "Oh shit."
thing, which is honestly a staple for this show. Feeny really chews Torie out for not believing in Eric and for robbing him of his chance to prove himself. It's amazing. Ultimately though, Feeny just sort of lets her go with a warning. In an otherwise perfect scene, that has always bothered me. Feeny also comments that Eric will need to come to summer school, but Eric is okay with it.
The scene fades to black, the credits start, and the audience applauds. Forget everything I've ever said about the studio audience because I would fucking clap too. This ending is absolutely fantastic. You wouldn't expect one of these "I did something bad" confession scenes to ever be worth a damn, but this one is worth many damns.
Plot: 1.0 - Wonderful. Exquisite. Not entirely original, but very well written and entertaining. This is the first time we see the man that Eric is going to be for the rest of the series and it is EXCITING.
Character Development: 1.0 - Shawn+Turner arc, Eric+Feeny arc. Couldn't ask for more.
Humor: 1.0 - Quality from the whole cast.
Life Lesson: motherfucking 1.0 - I've already gushed a lot over that ending. It's lovely and inspiring without being cheesy or cliche. That's basically a tagline for the entire series.
I fucking love this show, you guys. I highly suggest watching this episode.
4.0 out of 4.0 with an "I fucking love this show" Bonus Badge.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 13:13:22 GMT
Episode 2x19 "Wrong Side of the Tracks"
If you missed the review of 2x18, I'll fill ya in. The gifs pulled from the show are now in much higher quality. If they're going slow, just let them finish the first cycle, and then they should be fine.
Shawn's made a date with a girl named Jill Howwlijjdadger. That's my best attempt at her last name, Cory just sort of mumbles it out. From her outfit, we're supposed to pick up on the idea that she's wealthy, or snobby, or at least comes from upper middle class, and they actually managed to do that one right. And look, she's even got a real backpack, we're making great strides here today.
Her face honestly kinda looks like Shawn's... Lemme just... real quick...
Can't even tell the difference.
Since this is the only hallway in the school, Eric and Jason are also here. They tease Cory and Shawn a little, but all the jokes miss pretty hard. A pretty girl named Valerie in Eric/Jason's age group walks past and Eric jumps at the chance. She's interested in Eric, but she claims to spend all her time at the ice skating rink. Jason chimes in and wingmans the shit outta this, dropping a few bold lies about Eric's ability to skate and sets up a date for them to go skating. You shouldn't be insecure about being bad at skating, Eric, since Valerie is bad at acting. Either way, Jason's not too worried about it.
Turner has assigned the students biography reports, and asks the students who they've chosen to write about. Topanga has chosen Katie Couric, which is pretty cool, and Cory has chosen Captain Kirk, which is pretty dumb. Picard is the obvious choice. Turner doesn't feel like putting up with Cory's shenanigans today, and reminds him that the report can be about anyone, alive or dead, as long as they're real.
At lunch, Jill breaks off the date with Shawn, and he's pretty broken up about it. Cory asks Jill's friend Mindy, who is also dressed to convey her affluency, while Shawn listens in from the shadows. Mindy explains that Jill's parents would never let her go out with a guy like Shawn since the two are from such different "circles".
And her face... kinda looks like Cory's... WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS EPISODE.
Shawn gets all mopey like "what was I thinking, a high class girl would never date trailer trash", that kinda thing. It skips ahead to later in the day when Cory and Shawn are at Cory's house working on their biography projects. Recounting their pasts brings up all the differences in lifestyles between the two, with a focus on the nice things that were never available to Shawn.
At school the next day, Shawn is up to no good. He's apparently flooded the library somehow, causing thousands of dollars of property damage that he almost certainly won't be held accountable for. A perfectly legitimate response to being rejected by a snobby girl, the same way that serial arson is a perfectly legitimate response to coloring outside the lines.
Shawn tells Cory that this is about "being who I am", and goes to ask Harley Keiner if he can join his gang of thugs. I'm not really sure who this actor is, but he doesn't even try to do the Harley-voice and it's honestly kind of embarrassing trying to pretend that this future Hollister model is Harley fucking Keiner.
From now on, if I'm making up the words on a gif or image they'll be red, and yellow if it's the actual dialogue. It may not have been obvious, but all of the text on the gifs from 2x18 was the actual dialogue.
The bell rings and Turner comes into the hallway telling Cory and Shawn to get in the classroom. Cory tries to stop Shawn from going with Keiner, but our working class hero storms off like a god damn 5 year old.
Time for an update on the Ericlogue. Jason has dubbed over his mother's "lose weight while you sleep" tapes, transforming them into "learn to skate in your sleep" tapes. Eric comments that he doesn't want to "skate in my sleep", and Jason has the gall to question Eric's intelligence. I'm preeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure you don't get to talk right now Jason, what with dubbing over fucking weight loss tapes and actually thinking it's going to work. They fire a few more blanks from the joke gun, and we're back to Shawn and Cory.
It's essentially the same exact scene as the last one. Shawn's running errands for Harley, and Cory tries to snap him out of this bull shit with no success. Shawn spews some whiny garbage about how he and Cory can't be friends anymore since he's poor and has no future, and he storms off again.
Look at those two gifs and tell me you're not rolling your eyes. God this is frustrating. I'm going to do the full explanation of why this is stupid at the end of the review.
Turner isn't happy and tells Keiner to quit corrupting Shawn. In turn, this lecture makes Keiner unhappy, and he plots revenge against Mr. Turner.
And nowwwwwwwww we get a dream sequence. Nancy Kerrigan, one of the best ice skaters in the world back in 1994, teaches Eric how to skate while he's sleeping/listening to Jason's dumb tape. That in itself is neat, Nancy Kerrigan is and was a pretty big deal, but this scene is so bad.
It's three minutes of Eric's stunt double skating far enough away from the camera that we can't see his face. I'm not exaggerating, the faceless stunt double spends more time skating than Nancy Kerrigan. It's a complete waste of time. But who can blame them? This whole episode is pretty shallow. Like I said, they did the exact same scene twice, so they're just throwin as much time away as they can.
Well we're at school the next day, in the teachers' parking lot. Harley's revenge is to have Shawn bust up Turner's motorcycle.
This picture is rife with symbolism. The bat represents this episode's writers, and the motorcycle represents the script.
Before Shawn actually does any damage, Cory shows up, then Turner arrives, and they give Shawn a good talking to. Honestly, it's the best thing to happen so far in this episode because Anthony Tyler Quinn (Turner)'s you-better-fucking-listen-to-me voice is just spectacular. I love every scene where Turner gets angry. When Turner means business, he commands the entire scene. So that's really good here, even if the whole situation is a little contrived. It also adds some more to Turner's role as a father figure for Shawn, which is important.
Okay. So. Nitty gritty time. Why is this episode bad? Well let's see if Shawn can tell us.
The entire season so far
THE ENTIRE SEASONNNNNNNNNNNNNN
has been founded on Cory not knowing who he is, while Shawn serves as the cool headed, "dude it's not a big deal, relax" sort of guy. WHERE DID THAT GO? Out of absolutely nowhere Shawn is a completely different person, just because some nobody girl thinks he's too poor. This side of Shawn has definitely been seen before, back in the Christmas episode of season one, but it was far more subtle. I really liked that episode because we were getting a peek at another side of Shawn. This was not a peek. This was some guy in a trenchcoat flashing you on the subway. This episode could have been amazing if they'd built up to it, you know? Like, if we'd seen some cracks in Shawn's armor throughout the season, slight moments of self doubt that finally get to be too much in this episode. But there was nothing like that. In the first 18 episodes of this season, Shawn hasn't had a single personal problem. It just doesn't work.
And then there's some lame conclusion of the Ericlogue where Jason steals the ice skating girl. It's a little funny but that hardly matters at this point.
Plot: 0.25 - Pity points for what could have been.
Character Development: 1.0 - For Papa Turner. If I were in the habit of giving negative points, Shawn would have brought it down a little.
Humor: 0.25 - Not even Eric and Jason could save this one.
Life Lesson: 0.25 - I'll give you a life lesson. Chill the fuck out, jesus christ.
1.75 out of 4.0. Check out the last scene if you wanna see some awesome Anthony Tyler Quinn action. Not gonna find much else here though.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 13:13:54 GMT
Episode 2x20 "Pop Quiz"
Cory and Shawn are passing a foam football around in the only hallway in the school because this is a fantasy world where a high school's halls aren't constantly swarmed by students in transit. Cory does a little shoutcasting of his sweet hallway-football moves and tries to pass to Shawn, but his terrible aim results in hitting Frankie the Enforcer with the football. Joey the Rat is there too, reading some sort of note with Frankie, and the two well spoken thugs don't seem to notice Cory's projectile. This greatly confuses our heroes, so naturally they do something stupid.
WHEN WOULD THAT EVER BE AN OKAY THING TO DO? I bet this is how they usually get beat up. Frankie and Joey just mind their own business and then these asshole kids come up like "why the fuck aren't you mauling me", so they have to maul them. "Anti-heroes" if I've ever seen 'em.
Turns out the note is a letter from Harley Keiner at his new reform schoo-, excuse me, "juvenile boot camp", sorry Frankie. These career-lackeys are having an existential crisis without their leader. Overcome with sorrow, Frankie carries Joey off screen.
The boys are back to their game of foam-ball-color-commentary but Mr. Feeny rounds a corner into the only hallway in the school and intercepts the ball. In a bizarre move, he doesn't give the boys detention, and instead hands back their exams. Cory got a 16 and Shawn got a 12. Shawn, like me, doesn't understand how that's possible, so Mr. Feeny offers an explanation.
The moral is, Feeny's having trouble getting through to the slacker minds of Cory and Shawn. Mr. Turner comes by and talks to them like they're little puppies to get their attention.
Now I ain't gonna lie.
This is one of my favorite scenes in the entire series. There's more to it, but two gifs is enough. It's absolutely hysterical every time I watch it. It's not only well written and acted, but it fits with everything we know about the characters. It's beautiful. And it also means that we're about to see ROUND FOUR of Feeny vs Turner.
Feeny goes off to do Feeny things, but Turner's got a bone to pick with the nice boys. Their book reports were due earlier today, and they didn't turn them in. They haggle a bit and Turner decides to let them bring the reports to his apartment by Sunday afternoon, when he's going to grade them.
At the Matthews house, Morgan does one of her three funny jokes in the series. She makes a sandwich out of wonder bread, cheese whiz, and lucky charms, and Alan discovers that it's actually delicious.
Alan proceeds to give Eric two tickets to a water park which he got in a promotion at his store, on the condition that the other ticket go to Cory. Upstairs, Shawn and Cory are trying to work on their book reports but realize that they can go rent the movie versions instead. No points for originality there.
At school the next day, a lethargic Frankie and Joey get trolled a little more by Shawn and Cory, and they ultimately decide that they need to find a new leader. Since this is the only hallway in the school, Eric walks into the scene and, in plain view of Frankie and Joey, asks a girl we saw in 2x17 (they actually kept her name the same) to go to that water park with him. The lackeys look impressed. Further, Eric uses his knowledge of Cory's video-rental-book-report scheme to blackmail the other water park ticket out of him. Frankie and Joey are looking very impressed.
Aren't they just the cutest.
It's the weekend now and Cory and Shawn arrive at Mr. Turner's house to turn in their book reports. He invites them in to catch their breath while he gets dressed for a date, leaving them alone in his living room. This is a sitcom and it's the 90s, so they make a mess. Not quite Kenan and Kel level of a mess, but it still kinda makes you go "ugh..." Eventually they stumble upon Mr. Turner's lesson plan and discover that there's a pop quiz in his class the next week.
Cory and Shawn pretty much think they've gotten away with murder. To quote, "We finally beat the system! *jumping double high five*".
At school on Monday, Frankie and Joey have decided to make Eric their new leader. They've dressed like folks you'd find at a country club drinking martinis at about this same time of day. And yet, they still don't look as ridiculous as Eric. Either way, Eric, or "Rico" is they've decided to call him, doesn't want anything to do with them.
Look at em. Look at their sad little faces... Frankie just needs a big ol' hug doesn't he. Poor guy.
Turner's class begins and he announces the pop quiz, which is followed by some blatantly pre-recorded groaning. What's the sound version of "stock footage"? "Stock sound" doesn't quite roll of the tongue.
Topanga doesn't exist again. But the girl who sits next to Cory? Betchur ass she's there. She's always there. ...I think I might love her... Sorry what are we talking about? Well our system-beaters are acting pretty smug about the whole pop quiz ordeal and even came prepared with pencils. Hot dog.
The next scene opens in Mr. Feeny's office, and we finally get to meet Griffin Hawkins! He's just transferred to John Adams High. Griff is played by the amazing ADAM SCOTT, and I know I said I don't want to use clips anymore, but fuck you, it's fucking Adam Scott.
If that doesn't blow you away then I don't know what's wrong with you. I figure the original Harley Keiner had some personal reason to leave the show, and that fake ass Harley from 2x19 was obviously not going to work, so here's our new thug leader. And I gotta say, my reaction is about the same as that secretary's. He fucking nails every single line. His posture, his face, it's all spot on. The first time I saw this as a kid, I couldn't believe it. This was the coolest guy I'd ever seen in my life. I went to check who the actor was, and then stalked the hell out of his career. At least once a week I would check his IMDB to see if there was anything new. I googled pictures of him just to admire his hair. When Party Down was first announced, maaaaaaaaaaaaaan I was so excited. And now there's all these "fans" of Adam Scott because of Parks and Rec, and don't get me wrong I love Parks and Rec, but they don't know shit about Griffin Hawkins. But we know.
We know.
Griff swaggers his way into the only hallway in the school and draws the attention of all the nearby women as he asks for directions to his next class. Frankie and Joey are very, very impressed.
Well, Joey is. Frankie just looks kinda hungry. Whatever.
Eric brings Frankie and Joey to Chubbie's where, of course, Griff is currently entertaining some ladies. Eric introduces the lackeys, but Griff doesn't seem interested in their services.
Then we jump back to school where Shawn and Cory have just gotten their pop quizzes back. They both aced it, but Cory is starting to feel guilty about what he perceives to be cheating.
We jump back to where we left off at Chubbie's, so I guess this is all happening at the same time, which doesn't seem right, but okay. Some jocks in letter jackets show up looking for Griff. The most obnoxious of the jocks accuses Griff of gaming his girlfriend, and Griff pretty much admits as much with some award winning smugness. Things look like they're about to get violent, but Frankie and Joey come to the defense of Mr. Hawkins.
I've always thought it was interesting that Joey is supposed to be intimidating. He's pretty scrawny, but then again, he definitely looks like the kinda guy who carries a butterfly knife around and whips it around every once in a while. You know what I'm talkin about. Anyway, this convinces Griff of their usefulness and he accepts them as his lackeys. Heart warming, truly.
That resolves the Ericlackeylogue, so we've just gotta wrap up the pop quiz story. The boys confess to having seen Turner's lesson plan at his apartment, and he reveals that he wanted them to see it, that he wants them to get good grades. He goes on to explain that they can get A's whenever they want because he always tells the students about the assignments in advance. They just have to actually listen. Cory and Shawn have an epiphany about the purpose of education while Mr. Feeny looks on from the background. I really like this scene. It's pretty believable and I love that Mr. Turner never talks down to Cory and Shawn, he's always at their level, genuinely trying to get them to listen and learn.
So why did this work? Great question. Mr. Feeny stops Cory and Shawn so he can find out the answer. Cory says "we heard him loud and clear," followed by Shawn's "yeah, he was talking right to us." That's an excellent thing to say, all in all, and even speaks to a higher real world issue about how impersonal classrooms can be.
As it turns out, Feeny and Turner made a bet on whether this would get Shawn and Cory to actually go open a book. Point Turner.
Plot: 1.0 - What's not to like! The main story is fun, believable, fast paced, and adequately original. The Ericlogue has those qualities as well. Spot on.
Humor: 1.0 - The "nice boys" bit from the beginning would have been enough on its own, but the whole episode is great. There are a few jokes that don't quite land, but not enough to detract from the overall quality.
Character Development: 1.0 - Cory and Shawn are going to open some books, and Griff takes over as the school's kingpin. Awesome.
Life Lesson: 0.5 - There wasn't a real life lesson, but there is an implied life lesson that I'm giving half a point for. And that lesson is to fucking hire Adam Scott to be in your shows, god dammit.
3.5 out of 4.0. This is one of my all time favorites. A lot of the best episodes have those serious moments with important lessons, but this is a shining example of maintaining top quality while also being more relaxed and a little silly.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 23, 2015 13:14:47 GMT
Episode 2x21 "The Thrilla in Phila"
Okay I guess I was wrong before in 2x14, when Cory said he was entering his eighth year of public education. He is evidently still in 7th grade. That's a weird thing to say if he wasn't starting eighth grade. "Oh maybe he's counting Kindergarten." Well that would make sense if he were starting seventh grade, but that's not it either. It was apparently just the middle of 7th grade when he said that. I don't know what's going on.
Topanga exists in this episode and works for the yearbook now. As such, she asks Cory and Shawn what their greatest achievement in their first year (see opening remarks) at John Adams High was. Is she going to interview every student at the school like this? Maybe that's where she's been all season. Anyway the boys can't think of anything.
First of all, WOAH, that's harsh. And second, what the fuck are you talking about? It's already well established that we in the audience are paying much more attention to this show than the writers did, but this is just nonsense. Off the top of my head, let's see, they both were pretty close to winning the race for class president, they took over and then re-took over the school's radio station, they ruined the dance by pretending to be in a band, and initiated a student protest/revolution. TAKE YOUR PICK.
BUT FINE. Let's pretend that none of that happened. Besides, Shawn's hair looks so good in that gif that I'm having a hard time staying angry.
Cory decides to blame his perceived lack of achievement on the jocks, who wear their letter jackets around all the time "and therefore get all the girls, what chance [does he] have?" This statement is completely unrelated to his problem of underachieving, but we're not in the habit of making sense today.
Some jocks in letter jackets approach the boys and estimate their respective weights, hoping to find a new lightweight wrestler for their team. Cory fits the bill and accepts the position on the team. The jocks then whore out the girl you see below to be Cory's new arm candy. Her name is Candy.
I'm sure the porn business will be happy to have you in the future, Candy. In all seriousness, Candy is played by Kelly Packard who had three very minor one-or-two-episode characters on Baywatch in '91, '92, and '95, and then returned to play a fourth, but recurring, character in '97 (two years after this episode aired), and that lasted through the ninth season. So that's cool. And it totally looks like those two jocks on the left are about to kiss.
We had that little hiccup in 2x19 where Cory had all the self confidence and Shawn was having the identity crisis, but we're back to form now. Cory's letting his new jock-ness get to his head, and Shawn's being the aloof "why are you doing this dumb shit" guy who just wants his friend back.
In Mr. Feeny's history class, Griffin Hawkins, played by the illustrious Adam Scott, has called in a professional masseuse.
As Mr. Feeny thoroughly scolds Griff in the only hallway in the school, Frankie and Joey make a convenient arrival. It has just now occurred to me that Feeny's class is in the same room as Turner's class. Come on, Boy Meets World. Can you at least try? Anyway, Frankie and Joey brought some fresh lobsters with them per Griff's request. Feeny asks the lackeys what they would do if Griff were no longer around, i.e if her were expelled, prompting a moment of profound insight from our boy Joey the Rat.
Damn. That hits home, JoJo.
In the next scene, Topanga finds Cory at Chubbie's in an effort to finish that yearbook interview because there is literally nothing else to do with your time in high school. Except for everything.
Cory gives her some bull shit answers inspired by his new jock persona, and she scoffs as she walks over to Shawn, who, of course, is also there. Topanga means to ask Shawn where he sees himself in ten years, but Freudian-slips "where do you see Cory in ten years". Shawn's like "haha you like him don't you" and Topanga becomes outrageously defensive, even though she's admitted to Cory's face on multiple occasions that she likes him. So that was a "no" on trying, then.
The other members of the wrestling team inform Cory that he's going to have to fight for his spot, since someone else in his weight class wants to join. I'm 99% sure that's not how teams work. Either way, the newcomer is Joey the Rat, who is looking for a new activity in case Griff goes away somehow. Joey taunts Cory and makes a rat face and rat noises to scare him, or something. I guess they had to explain his nickname eventually, but I would have preferred not knowing.
There's a poorly shot slapstick scene in the gymnasium where Cory and Shawn watch Frankie try to teach sumo wrestling to Joey. Joey's not doing very well, until he just dropkicks Frankie to the ground, which instills fear in "Cory 'The Cory' Matthews", as he's called now. Yes, you say the whole thing, like "A Pimp Named Slickback". Cory must know literally nothing about wrestling, otherwise he wouldn't be worried about getting fucking dropkicked.
So the match starts and Cory sort of lucks into pinning Joey after about 5 seconds, earning him the jacket and the spot on the team. Joey isn't satisfied with this and challenges Cory to a rematch. When our hero declines, Joey calls him a coward and starts chanting "yellow" at him. Then we get a montage of Joey showing up in random places continuing the chant. It's kind of annoying, except that he looks adorable in this chef's hat.
You know, as I was drawing that I realized that arrows are sort of phallic, which gives a new layer of symbolism to that whole Cupid's-arrows-penetrating-stuff idea. Aren't you glad you read this blog?
Candy is looking 90s as fuck in those overalls and backwards hat. Shit belongs in a music video or somethin.
Cory eventually caves to the pressure and agrees to a fight. Thanks to his seemingly endless supply of resources, Griff manages to turn the whole thing into a spectacle in the school's gym. There's a huge crowd, spotlights, a miniature wrestling ring, and he's even got the late Robert Goulet to sing the national anthem. Mr. Goulet was evidently a pretty big deal, but all I know about him is that he was the singing voice of Mr. Wheezy at the end of Toy Story 2. And that's a good enough reason for me to like him.
Further celebrity attendees include Yasmine Bleeth, one of the stars of Baywatch between '93 and '97, and "eleven time heavyweight wrestling champion of the world, Vader", who is also Frankie's father. He's played by the former WWE wrestler of the same name. In real life, Vader was world heavyweight champion only three times. I don't know if that's good or not.
Either way, we've two Baywatch women and a WWE wrestler. This episode must have been a big deal for 13 year olds in the 90s. This must be the "thrilla" referred to in the title. The "Thrilla in Manila" was the final match between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier for world heavyweight boxing champ back in 1975, which Ali won in an extremely close fight. All kinds of fun trivia today.
...Well this is just ridiculous.
Eric shows up too, and then the fight starts. Joey and Cory do a bunch of illegal-as-shit wrestling moves, and Cory pins Joey again after like 30 seconds. Remind me what exactly is intimidating about Joey. How did he get to be a thug in the first place? I dunno, but I'd put my money on my Butterfly Knife Theory from the 2x20 review. Pinned, Joey tags out to Frankie the Enforcer and Eric accidentally tags himself in for Cory. In a truly marvelous display of bravery and primal instinct, Eric makes some slick moves and pokes Frankie in the eye instead of running away screaming. Vader thinks this is taking too long and tells Frankie to tag him in. Eric is about to have his young life snuffed out by a very very large and sweaty man, BUT WAIT!
Hehhhhh, I just noticed something, look at the guy on the very far right, you can see the sleeve of his letter jacket at the beginning. Watch his face after Feeny flips over. Home boy looks like his acid just kicked in.
So Feeny defuses the situation and that's pretty much the end of that. This whole scene just felt like a giant middle finger to everyone looking for actual substance. They just wanted to show off some celebrities. Where did they get the money for that? I really think they could have built Feeny his own classroom with the money it took to hire these people. It's humorous enough once Feeny and Turner show up, but everything else in this scene just doesn't jive with me. Refer back to the graph.
The next day, in the only hallway in the school, Cory gives back his letter jacket to the lead jock, who is surprisingly understanding and says "you're okay, Matthews." More importantly, as you can see in this picture here,
the Goddess of Hair goes to John Adams High. Look at those curls. How is that even POSSIBLE. We never actually see her face though, and I might not be able to sleep tonight because of it.
Topanga joins the scene, needing to ask Cory a few more yearbook questions, and Shawn takes his leave to give them some privacy. Topanga says she still needs a quote to go with Cory's picture, and he asks what she put for hers. This is something you almost certainly remember if you've watched this series.
"I do my thing and you do your thing. You are you and I am I. And if in the end we end up together, it's beautiful."
It's one of those classic Cory+Topanga moments, and it is cute, but let's be real. That's a pretty contrived setup. What if Cory hadn't asked her just now? Why would she have just let that sit in the yearbook? That's the kind of thing you say to someone's face, or write it in a song or a poem, or something. It's completely meaningless as a yearbook quote. Maybe I'm just too jaded to see the magic in it. But like I said, it's a cute line, even though she says "end" twice within three words.
During the end credits, Cory's in detention with the thugs. But it's okay. "Detention with Griff" is a party! Robert Goulet shows up and starts performing in the classroom.
You can see the chalkboard behind them there, that's where Turner usually teaches from. And during Turner's class, the chalkboard Feeny uses is either covered up by or replaced with a corkboard.
Joey really brought a lot to this episode, and it was awesome to see Blake Sennett thrive. It's always a treat to see Adam Scott's Griff as well. If you have fond memories of Baywatch actresses or Robert Goulet, you'll want to catch this one. On the other hand, if you value and/or respect high school wrestling, maybe give this one a pass.
Plot: 0.66... - Threw a curveball atcha there, huh? That's a new score. But yeah, I liked this one for a while. We've seen Cory try to "be somebody" a few times now, but hey, in real life that's a struggle that never really ends, so that's okay. Joey hasn't had a parallel story like this before, so that was neat too. Unfortunately, they decided to throw it all away and tried to buy my interest with guest stars. Bad move.
Character Development: 1.0 - The romance between Cory and Topanga made significant progress at the end of this episode. Further, we got to see a new side of Joey the Rat (even though in 2x20 he blatantly said that he could never be anything other than a lackey).
Humor: 0.5 - Ehhhhh.....
Life Lesson: 0.5 - It's not a real life lesson, but "all the good lives are taken"... That just... I can't let go of that for some reason.
2.6666... out of 4.
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