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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 25, 2015 13:27:54 GMT
Episode 5x15 "First Girlfriends Club"
Valentine's Day is coming up, as is clear from the hallway's decorations. I can't imagine the holiday-decoration budget at this school. Recall that Topanga found Lauren's letter at the end of the previous episode, and has now brought it with her to school for some reason. All through the series I've admired Topanga's level headedness and maturity, pretty much her only selling point, and now that's out the window. If I were Topanga, I would bring Cory the letter and ask to read it with him. It doesn't matter though, since Angela has no concern for those sorts of things and rips the letter's envelope right open. Angela tries to make a joke and it's awful, then both girls read the letter and look sad. Boo hoo.
On the other side of the hall, we learn about Shawn Hunter's Valentine's Day anxiety. Apparently he doesn't have the necessary time to prepare for it.
He claims this is the first V-Day that's actually worth something (because of Angela) and he's afraid of screwing it up. Not to worry though! "Chasing Angela" Cory is here, riding a brand new saddle for his high horse. Cory is a self-proclaimed "Valentine's Day veteran, Shawn". Yes that's right, and what romantic evening do you have planned, wise veteran? "We have a dinner, at Chubbie's." Apparently they do that every year, recreating their first date, which takes absolutely no effort on the part of either person. That's dumb and you're dumb, Cory.
Topanga slams her soon to be ex boyfriend into a locker and tells him they need to talk. Credit where credit is due, this is the same thing we saw in Wake Up, Little Cory where Topanga gets PISSED and tells Cory off instead of devolving into a sad sack of crying mush, as other women on television are prone to do. Anger is much stronger and more compelling than sadness. Thumbs up for strong female characters.
She tells Cory she doesn't trust him anymore, and doesn't know if they can work this one out. And really, as Cory points out, it's sort of Shawn's fault for giving him the terrible advice to lie about the kiss in the previous episode.
Later, a group of three girls that we recognize from earlier seasons think that "all men are dogs" after this Corpanga scandal breaks in the school newspaper. Angela tries to defend the male gender, but these ladies think Shawn is the worst of all.
It's irrelevant, but look at the palette in this scene, everything is white red and black. Interesting.
OKAY SO I'M GONNA BLOW YOUR MINDS. I'm surprised nobody mentioned this in the comments yet. We know these three girls (im going to be calling them The Blondes) are Shawn's ex girlfriends, and I had to look up the one on the left. Her name is Libby, and she had like 10 seconds of screen time in The Last Temptation of Cory in season 3, a time when Cory and Topanga were very much in love and in a committed relationship.
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HAPPENED IN THAT EPISODE?
I QUIT. I GOD DAMN QUIT.
I CAN'T, THIS SHOW IS JUST IT'S I CAN'T.
NO.
What the fuck man! We did this EXACT SAME SHIT already! Except Cory wasn't a dumbass that time! And Topanga forgave him that time, like any reasonable person would, given the circumstances. But Shawn said in 5x14, and I quote, "She'll forgive you for lying, because you never have before, but she will never forgive you for kissing another girl." Cory has in fact lied before, and so has Topanga, so that first part is wrong, and she already forgave him for kissing another girl. So Shawn was just completely fucking wrong. They even used one of the girls from that episode. They're like,
"Oh, which of Shawn's exes should we bring in, how bout Libby?"
"Which episode was she in again?"
"Who caaaaares, there's no way it's relevant!"
Not only did the writers forget what that episode was about, but Libby was complicit in trying to get Cory to kiss Missy, and now she wants to call Cory a dog? Fuck everything about this.
Ugh. Anyway. The blonde in the middle is Jennifer from An Affair to Forget in season 4, and on the right is, of course, Dana from The Heart is a Lonely Hunter in season 3. Hooray.
I honestly don't want to review this anymore. I'm actually pissed because of The Last Temptation of Cory and I can't focus on this crap. I'm gonna make this brief, nothing important happens until the end anyway.
The Blondes resolve to exact their revenge against Shawn by ruining his V-Day date. At The Apartment, Shawn's getting ready to actually show up to a V-Day date for the first time.
Eric's hair is long again. Huh.
There's a note left at their door, apparently from Angela, saying to meet her at "the boathouse". Which.. pff.. come on. Anyway The Blondes are lying in wait at the boathouse. They handcuff Shawn to some metal pipes and begin the "Trial of Shawn Hunter", an examination of his womanizing past.
Angela shows up at The Apartment looking for Shawn, but wuh oh, he's not there. The Shrial of Hawn Tunter continues at the boathouse, and it's absurd. All the evidence is just "We dated... and then we didn't date anymore... how dare you...". It is beyond nonsense. Now Jack and Eric arrive on the scene, presumably with Angela as well.
Thank you, Eric, for your shining light in even the darkest of nightmares.
At home, Morgan's got some V-day chocolate and I do not care. Angela shows up looking for Shawn, so apparently she didn't go with Eric and Jack. I don't know why not. Eric calls the house to tell Cory the situation. Back at The Trial, who cares! Jack and Eric storm into the trial to argue in Shawn's defense. It's hilarious. Thank you Jack and Eric. Angela and Cory show up and Angela unlocks the handcuffs without the key. That's the power of love, baby.
There's a fairly decent conversation about forgiveness and trust and stuff, Eric and Jack are still hilarious, but there's a surprise witness for the prosecution.
Topanga is still unable to forgive Cory, and then she leaves, so I'm not really sure why she came here in the first place. There's actually a genuine and sweet dialogue between Shawn and Angela here, I think it's the only time that I actually feel good about their relationship. Cory is convinced that Topanga's still going to go to Chubbie's for their date, so he and Shangela head out. That leaves Jack and Eric to hit on The Blondes and escort the three of them out for a group date thing. Look out for my Jack x Dana fan fiction, hitting shelves this Christmas.
During the credits, Topanga does not, in fact, show up at Chubbie's. I'm pretty sure that wasn't actually their first date anyway.
Plot: 0 - IT SUCKED.
Character Development: 1.0 - Shawn admits that he used to be a womanizing jerk, and resolves to be a better person with Angela.
Humor: 1.0 - Jack and Eric man, Eric and Jack. Very funny. You know why it worked? Because Shawn and Cory work. And when they write these two like those two, as they did in this episode and the handful of episodes before this one, everybody has a good time.
Life Lesson: 0 - PPPBBBTTTTHHHH
2.0 OUT OF 4.0. MY SCORING SYSTEM IS GARBAGE. THIS EPISODE SUCKS. IT'S STILL HILARIOUS THOUGH SO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WATCH IT. I LIKE DANA.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 25, 2015 13:28:15 GMT
Episode 5x16 "Torn Between Two Lovers (Feeling Like a Fool)"
The beginning is basically just Cory and Shawn recapping everything from the Lauren arc so far. What's new, though, is that Cory has taken the position that he's done nothing wrong, that he "sat on a couch and talked to a girl", which I agree with. It's unfortunate that he lacked that presence of mind back in 5x14 when this all started. It's honestly an improvement though, he's usually a huge mess whenever something goes wrong with Topanga, but today he's standing his ground, showing a little backbone. As always, they've pulled Shawn's personality out of a hat.
Yes, today Shawn will possibly want to be like Cory and Topanga. Sometimes he absolutely does, sometimes he wants to start his own thing with Angela, it's hard to keep track.
So Shawn clearly wants to reunite Cory and Topanga. He schemes to get both of them to Chubbie's after school, telling them both individually how perfect the other person is. Topanga takes slightly more convincing than Cory, though.
WHO'S FIRST?
I DON'T KNOW!
NO, HE'S THIRD!
Abbott and Costello? Right? Anyway...
In theory, this is a sweet gesture, relinquishing the role of Cory's most-important-person, but we the analytical viewers know that it is simply not true. It works, though, and she agrees to meet Cory at Chubbie's.
Our heroes are now waiting for Topanga to arrive for this meeting, but Lauren shows up instead. The uninitiated may question her ability to find Cory here, but we know that this is literally the only place he could be. I'm sure their all-night conversation in 5x14 included something like "Yeah, it's called Chubbie's, it's the only place I've been in the last four years. If you need to randomly show up, that's the place to do it."
Cory tries to politely get rid of Lauren before Topanga arrives, but this is Chubbie's! Everyone always arrives! Toblahblah is ready to storm out after seeing Lauren. She tells Cory to take some time and figure out if he wants Lauren or not. Let me be clear. Cory doesn't want to, it's not his idea, Topanga is insisting that he stay and talk things through with Lauren.
In The Backyard, we learn that Feeny has a scheduling conflict with his "citizenship class", where immigrants are studying to gain their citizenship. He asks Eric to simply proctor their practice exams, handing out the tests and pencils, and collecting them afterward.
It's been far too long, Feenric. It's good to be home :')
We cut to the class and Eric immediately has all the students rip up their practice exams. The scene fades out on what appears to be Eric starting to do card tricks. Is Eric back to his old screw-uppy ways!? Probably not, but we can still enjoy the ride.
At home, Cory, his parents, and Shawn are all talking about the Lauren situation in the kitchen. Amy and Alan believe that Cory owes it to everyone involved to see Lauren again. Especially since Topanga's okay with it. Amy and Alan have a great showing here, which is always a treat. Lauren arrives to pick up Cory for their date, and she handles the situation with mastery. You would expect some awkwardness here, but she defuses it entirely. Further evidence of how cool she is.
The moment in that gif has really stuck with me over the years. I'm not sure why, it's just... wow, this show is real as hell.
We jump over to Cory and Lauren having a picnic on a pile of dirt that we're supposed to think is a park. As always, the chemistry is blatant, they're having a great time and so am I. It starts raining, though, so Lauren tucks Cory into her jacket.
The whole scene is overwhelmingly adorable, and leaves us with a feeling that this could actually turn into something.
Cory shows up at The Apartment, announcing that he had a good time with Lauren. Shawn decides to weigh both girls against each other to see which one Cory likes more. When it comes to honesty, Cory claims that Topanga is the most honest person he knows, which is not true, she has a history of fibs on this show. Besides, Mister Feeny is the most honest person he knows. The next question is essentially about sex appeal, boobs and butts and curvity curves, in as explicit detail as the censor would allow. It's hysterical, and in my mind one of those classic moments. At the end of the day, you gotta love Cory and Shawn.
At the end of Cory's day, though, he loves Topanga. Not Lauren.
And I guess that's really what it boils down to. As much as we think Lauren is the better catch, would you really leave someone you love with all your heart for a girl you've had two dates with who doesn't even live near you? They still could have made that story work though, if Topanga had just felt too betrayed and ended the relationship, and then just write her out of the show. Oh well. Shawn looks pretty pleased with Cory's decision.
Back at the citizenship class, Eric seems to have spun things out of control, and Mister Feeny arrives on the scene.
Turns out, Eric actually did a great job teaching the material to the class, albeit with unorthodox methods. It's hard to explain, you have to just see it, but it's really sweet and genuine (and hilarious). Feeny and Eric, back together. Never fails!
At Chubbie's (of course) Cory tells Topanga what he's learned from his date with Lauren. Direct quote here, "I don't have to be afraid of what I feel about anybody else because I know that it could never take away from loving you." Obviously we all like Lauren, but if we accept the notion that Cory is in love with Topanga, which we should at this point, then this is a satisfying conclusion for him to reach. If they'd done some kind of "I didn't feel anything for her!" thing, it would have been disingenuous, so I really like the way they've written this.
Doesn't matter though! Topanga wants to break up. "I forgive you for lying at the lodge, I forgive you for kissing her, and I forgive you for the letter. ... But that you needed to see her to test how you felt about me, I don't forgive you for that."
That's a really memorable moment right there, very emotional stuff from Ben Savage. Which is why I said to remember earlier, when Topanga insists that he goes out with Lauren when he didn't really want to. Topanga's only response now is "And you listened," and then she walks out. That is a LOAD of bull shit. I have always hated this part, I just can't justify Topanga's behavior at all. I recognize how hard it must have been to forgive Cory for all that stuff, so brownie points there, but the rest of this just makes no sense. She told him to go. He wasn't testing his feelings for Topanga, he was testing his feelings for Lauren, exactly what Topanga told him to do. I don't like it.
During the credits, we see the citizenship class all passing their exam and becoming citizens while Eric and Feeny look on from the sidelines.
FORGET EVERYTHING ELSE IN THIS EPISODE. THAT WAS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. TEN OUT OF TEN. ERIC AND FEENY SHOW. FEENY AND ERIC. Oh my goodness, if that scene doesn't make you tear up...
Plot: 1.0 - Eric had his first experience as a teacher with Feeny bearing witness. Perfect.
Character Development: 1.0 - Eric.
Humor: 1.0 - Eric and Feeny.
Life Lesson: 1.0 - Feeny and Eric.
4.0 out of 4.0, if we're looking solely at Eric's story. Absolutely perfect. If we throw in the rest of the episode, ehh it's like a 3, but who cares. It's like Whose Line. The points don't matter. Lauren is gone, and Topanga broke up with Cory for some weird reasons. The thing is, she had a few good reasons to break up with him, but we got this instead. I honestly don't care at all because of how good this Eric ending was.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 25, 2015 13:31:05 GMT
Episode 5x17 "And Then There Was Shawn"
Everybody's being real dramatic in Feeny's class this morning. A few episodes ago, I likened our heroes' outbursts in class to those in Girl Meets World, saying yeah, it's annoying in GMW, but they did it here too. Well today that's very different. The Feenster is getting fed up with The Breakup being the center of attention in his classroom. The whole thing was sparked by some new guy named Kenny asking Topanga to borrow a pencil, and they're really making it seem like we should know who this guy is. He looks and sounds like Jack. But that's not important.
Yeah, take a note here Cory. You're gonna need to do this in a couple decades.
They don't let up though, and Feeny threatens to give them all detention in the event of "one more interruption". Just then, a ghastly ghoul of a janitor bursts into the classroom, and then slowly backs out again. There's a history of bad janitors at this school. Anyway Feeny decides that this creepy custodian satisfies the requirement of "one more interruption" (a dick move, by the way) and gives the Cory Crew detention, and Kenny too.
At detention, the jarring janitor appears on the other side of the door's glass pane. Feeny locked the students in the room before he left, so Shawn pleads with the curious curator to unlock the door. He doesn't, though, and the map on the blackboard rolls up to show a threatening message written in blood.
So yeah, as we all know, this episode is a dream sequence that parodies some classic horror films. Sad to say, I know dick-all about horror movies. It's not that I dislike them, I just... don't understand them..? I don't know. Either way, I am not going to be able to point out the references, and I apologize for that shortcoming.
Shawn thinks Feeny is setting up an elaborate lesson to teach them something, and uses his vast knowledge of cheap horror films to predict the upcoming events. Reminds me of 4x22, where Shawn had a dream foretelling their visit to the sorority. Anyway, Shawn predicts that something horrible is about to walk through the door, and it turns out to be Jack and Eric. Eric does an impression of Mr. Hankey from South Park going "Howdy Ho," and... it's... just so out of place. The first season of South Park premiered in August 1997, and this episode aired in February 1998, so I guess it was still sort of timely. Our two new arrivals explain that they saw the scary... scustodian... out in the hall, emptying the trash cans.
The jokes keep rolling. There's this awkward pause after Shawn says "This is straight out of that horror film classic, Blood In The Showers," where I guess they forgot to edit in the laughtrack? I laughed, I don't know what the audience is doing. Shawn predicts that Kenny is going to die first, which is exactly what happens after a gloved hand turns the lights off. He's been stabbed through the brain with a very large pencil. Naturally, Eric responds with "Oh my gosh, they killed Kenny," (not "Oh my god", mind you, this is ABC after all). Is that the entire reason he was in this episode? His 8 minute lifespan had the sole purpose of setting up a South Park reference? I looked up the actor, Richard Lee Jackson, and he's not a horror film veteran or anything like that, but it still feels like I'm missing something
Everyone runs screaming into the hallway and some sort of eerie song starts playing over the loudspeakers, which must be a reference. Shawn makes a few more predictions which all start coming true, ultimately leading them to find a dead Feeny.
The gang retreat back to the classroom, where Angela then wonders if any of them is safe. Shawn explains that virgins never die in horror films, to which Eric and Jack reply that they're both going to die, which is pretty funny. Shawn comments that he'll get "as sick as you can get without actually dying," and Jack gives him a pat on the back like "hey, that's okay buddy." It's hysterical, it's such a guy moment, having this conversation in the face of impending death, and of course Cory thanks Topanga for keeping him alive. It's an extremely funny little bit that presumes a level of maturity in the audience (one of this show's trademarks), and also crosses "sex stuff" off the horror-movie-trope checklist. Well played. But wait... Feeny died... so that means...
Hmmm... Jack's just kinda standing there lookin awkward... You know what this needs?!
Much better. That might be my masterpiece.
The heroes hear the spooky... sp... spatula... okay I ran out of janitor alliterations. The heroes hear the scary janitor out in the hallway, but find that he's already dead. Eric accidentally volunteers himself to keep watch while everyone else hides in the classroom. He's ambushed by a girl named Jennifer Love Fefferman, played of course by Jennifer Love Hewitt. Friedle and Hewitt were dating at this point in time, and they also did an extremely shitty teenage-guy-needs-to-get-laid movie together called The Trojan War around this time. The film was produced for $15 million, and made, this is not a typo, $309 in ticket sales because it was played in only one theatre and they stopped showing it after a week. I kinda need to see it now. I'm trying to think of how we could organize a community viewing of this terrible movie.
Anyway Eric and "Feffy" start vigorously making out in the hallway. I don't know why. Maybe she was just on set that day and they decided to give her some lines. She contributes nothing to the story. It's weird.
Angela's been doing these really loud, campy screams the whole episode, so when Feffy does her own high pitched shriek, Angela gets sassy like "uh uh, I'm the one who does the screaming." Angela being funny is like a unicorn, so I was compelled to mention it. The heroes flee to the school's library, the same library pictured in this blog's banner, which we saw in 4x11. I'm surprised we don't see this place more often if they've just got it on hand like that. The masked killer shows up and starts killing, down to just Cory, Topanga, and Shawn. Then he puts Cory and Topanga's hands together, like they're holding hands, which I don't understand. Shawn pulls off the mask and we discover that the killer is... Shawn.
I DON'T GET IT.
Without any further comment, Shawn wakes up from his dream. He's in detention, and Kenny is there, so I guess everything in that first scene before detention was real. Somehow, this dream has given Shawn the revelation he needed to resolve the situation. He begins, "You two have been together since before I even knew you." I had to look back at that bullshit flashback at the zoo from 5x03 to be sure, and this is indeed consistent with that retcon. He explains further, that if Cory and Topanga aren't together, then he has nothing he can depend on, which is a little insulting to the Angela seated directly in front of him. So this lack of dependability is making Shawn feel bad, and then Mister Feeny lets them all go home.
Hm? What's that? You thought there was more? Nah that's it. It makes zero fucking sense. Zero. How does that explain the metaphor of killing everybody? It's a half-assed attempt at pulling something out of nothing. It was perfectly fine as a one-off joke episode, there was no need to try to make something meaningful out of it here at the end. I appreciate the effort, but the execution was absolutely dreadful. They would have been way better off without it.
During the credits, it's time for Feeny's dream sequence, where he asks Topanga a question she can't answer, and Shawn and Cory are smart.
FUN FACT. There's an episode in season six where Cory dreams about killing everybody, and that's also the only other episode we have left where (an imaginary) Lauren makes an appearance. And of course, Lauren is the cause of Shawn's grief here in this episode. FULL CIRCLE BABY.
IT'S A FULL... IT'S.. 360 DEGREES BABY.
Plot: Fuck it. There's no reason to use my stupid scoring system on this episode. It's a joke episode. We all already know it's amazing, and we love it and it's a classic. The whole thing is hilarious. Start to finish. Except the South Park jokes, but they were probably funny in 1998. If we evaluate this joke episode as a joke episode, it passes with flying colors. Ultimately though, it's meaningless. Not much else to say. I probably could have written a better review if I were more familiar with the films they're referencing. Oops. Sorry if you expected better of me.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 25, 2015 13:32:10 GMT
Episode 5x18 "If You Can't Be With The One You Love..."
Shawn and Cory emerge from Feeny's classroom after a lesson on feudalism, and for some reason it's made Shawn very angry. I dunno, I think feudalism is kinda cool. As Topanga passes by, Cory wishes her a good weekend, and she returns the gesture, but she's clearly not suffering the way that Cory is. Shawn explains that she's handling the breakup "with dignity", and then adopts this grizzled accent to say "while you, Norton, are a train wreck." Google has given me no aid in deciphering this message. It must be a quote since he put on that accent, but I can't figure out where it's from. The audience laughs, it must mean something. Help me out.
See, Cory's being a real Debbie Downer after this breakup. Almost everyone has been invited to Kimberly Sussman's "new nose" party tonight, but not Cory, as Shawn points out. He's just too depressing to be around, and even Shawn is getting sick of it. For the record, that sounds ridiculous, but I actually did know a girl in college who threw a "new nose party". They do exist, I'm afraid.
That's pretty harsh. Just before we cut to commercial, Cory comments that he doesn't like himself either, and that "I'm done with me."
We cut to Kimberly's party, where the hostess herself asks Angela if she can dance with Shawn. Angela tells Kimberly she can do whatever she wants, "but he'll be going home with me~." WooOOooo sounds like Shawn might be dying in a horror movie pretty soon! Angela actually looks fantastic in this scene, I don't know why her hairstyles are so hit or miss.
And now Cory Matthews crashes the party. He's oozing with confidence and doesn't even flinch when Kimberly namedrops Topanga, so she invites him in. We fade over to Cory regaling the partygoers with the story of First Girlfriends Club, which, let's be honest, is the perfect story to tell at a party. Topanga shows up and Cory doesn't give a shit. Clearly something drastic has taken place. As soon as she sees Cory having a good time as the life of the party, Topanga bails. It... grrrr, it makes my blood boil. What the fuck is her problem. A song starts playing that I recognize from another episode, it took me a minute but it's the song that plays at The Boom Boom Room near the end of Last Tango in Philly.
Well we didn't have to wait long to solve the mystery. We now see Cory taking a swig of whiskey in the bathroom. Shawn comes a-knockin, apparently Cory's been in there a while, and Cory invites his best friend to have a drink with him.
You know why anti drug and alcohol programs don't work? Because the message is always "it's terrible, you'll hate it and regret it and suffer the consequences." And then people try it and think "Wow, this is great, I feel awesome, those programs were lying to me." So what's Boy Meets World doing right? It's starting off by showing us the allure, it's not some popular kids pressuring a high horse protagonist (see: Full House and every other 90s sitcom), it's Cory fuckin Matthews offering a drink to his best buddy. It's liquid confidence! Cory is relaxed and confident and he left his broken heart at the door, all thanks to a little whiskey. So now it's a question of whether the bad outweighs the good, which is exactly the direction that I think school programs should be taking. Scare tactics do not work and Michael Jacobs evidently knows that.
UNFORTUNATELY, we'll never see anything like this with Girl Meets World, since Disney Channel banned this episode from being shown on their network. And that's ultimately why I think Girl is doomed, but we'll just have to see.
Shawn and Cory continue taking swigs of whiskey, with their own little sound effects after each gulp. Very funny. Very relatable.
The party's over after the commercial break, as Cory and Shawn wander down some street in a drunken stupor, discussing how they peed on the roof of cop car number 72. Public urination is a common joke on tv when it comes to drunkenness, but like, I've been pretty damn smashed in my days and yet I have never had the urge to whip my dick out and let loose outside of a bathroom. I'll never understand that one. Anyway, the boys offer some cash to some random guy to buy them beer, and he does, but shortly after that cop car 72 pulls up with lights flashing to arrest the boys.
Not much else comes out of that scene, except that Cory does some emotional-drunk talk about how Shawn is more important than Topanga. Alcohol is basically truth serum, so I'm going to go ahead and declare that this is the canonical answer. Cory loves Shawn more than Topanga. Done. It's done.
We're at home after the commercial, and Alan is pissed. He claims that "the charges" have been dropped since they're minors with no priors, but I'm not sure what the charges were exactly. I guess the cop saw them peeing on his car earlier? Maybe open container laws? Whatever, the point is that Alan is being a typical parent right now, thinking that his child can do no wrong. He's convinced that bad bad Shawn convinced sweet sweet Cory to steal his whiskey and drink it. That's real as hell, so many parents are like that, refusing to see their child's mistakes. We're pulling out all the stops in this episode.
Shawn decides to play along with Alan's accusations, just as a favor to his best friend, so Alan keeps saying some pretty hurtful shit. Amy doesn't want to jump to conclusions though, and pulls her husband into the other room. Shawn explains that it's just easier this way since everyone expects the worst out of him, but once Amy and Alan return, Cory comes clean anyway. Alan gives Shawn a serious apology for what he said, and it's honestly really moving. At the end of the scene, Cory and Shawn agree not to drink anymore, but there's still eight minutes left so that's probably not gonna work out.
Indeed it did not work out, as Shawn has a full blown outburst in Feeny's class, evidently the result of drinking. They still managed to make it funny though. Ultimately, Feeny kicks Shawn out of class and excuses Cory to go make sure he's okay. Cory follows the drunk Shawn back to The Apartment, where Shawn grabs another beer from the fridge. Jack comes home and we learn that old Chet Hunter was a pretty abusive drunk. Further, that's actually the reason Jack's mother left Chet in the first place.
This got weird really quick. Like, we were on a nice sightseeing tour and then drove straight off a cliff. Somehow we got to Shawn activating his alcoholism genes. I'll go on record here saying that the first thirteen minutes were great, ending with the agreement not to drink anymore. What I do like about this scene though is when Cory says "I thought we agreed to stop drinking." It's not a fear thing, it's not "remember what my dad said", they made the decision themselves. That's good stuff.
Anyway, back on track, Shawn isn't happy about Jack insulting their father.
The events escalate, Topanga and Angela show up, Angela doesn't want Shawn to drink anymore, and so he shoves her into the door, a callback to Chet being an abusive drunk. Holy shit dude. Realistic or not, it convinces Shawn to stop drinking. He apologizes to Alan, then to Feeny and Topanga, and finally to Angela.
And that's... how it ends... The credits are just some guitar music over the show's logo.
ERIC WASN'T IN THIS EPISODE.
Plot: 1.0 - The first thirteen minutes were a compelling look at a relatable high school student getting drunk at a party. The main characters, high school students, made the choice on their own to get drunk. That shit never happens on TV. Never. Where does it happen? In real god damn life, that's where. It was as not-preachy as a show can possibly be while still maintaining the message. I'm impressed. And then that last eight minutes, I don't even know what that was. The writers clearly just threw it together after using all their good ideas in the first part.
Character Development: 1.0 - Cory was actually interesting in this episode, very real. And I guess Shawn dealing with his family's alcoholism is meaningful.
Humor: 0.75 - It's hard to get that full point without Eric, but it was still pretty funny.
Life Lesson: 0.5 - Drink responsibly.
3.25 out of 4.0. It's actually pretty good. MUCH better than I remember. I've said most of what I want to say already, I just want to reiterate how strange that last eight minutes is. Like why did they even bother doing the "Cory is the bad one this time" thing if Shawn was gonna jump off the deep end for no reason?
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 25, 2015 13:32:43 GMT
Episode 5x19 "Eric Hollywood"
We're making up for the complete lack of Eric in the previous episode. Thank goodness.
Eric's working construction for Pennbrook's drama department. He's just built a balcony for their production of Romeo and Juliet, but when the guy playing Romeo tests it out, it breaks apart and he literally dies. He is actually dead. Some guys carry him off on a stretcher. That's a refreshingly dark sense of humor. I like it. And you know, this is no one's fault except the people who hired Eric. So how can we fix this problem?
Eric does a few lines from the play with a surprising level of skill. Apparently he's picked up the entire play word for word in the time he's been working here. Yeah well your little brother peed on a cop car last episode, Eric, so maybe you're spending too much time here. Anyway we skip ahead to the production of R+J, it's the scene were Romeo confronts Tybalt after he killed Mercutio. Jack is playing Tybalt because they didn't want to pay any more actors for this episode. So yeah Eric gets through the whole thing without screwing up. I almost don't believe it.
The next morning, Eric finds his parents and little sister looking at all the great reviews of his performance in various newspapers. And Eric's head grew three sizes that day.
Meanwhile, at The Apartment, Topanga shows up to make sure she and Shawn are still on good terms, now that she's broken up with Cory. Shawn insists that they are, which is very mature, but this is all just a setup for the side story. Topanga notices that Jack has chicken pox, and soon finds them on Shawn as well. We can look back at two other Eric-centric episodes, "By Hook or By Crook" in season 2, in which Cory has contracted mono, and "Singled Out" in season 4, when Cory had to have his tonsils taken out. And now chicken pox on the Hunter boys. Why do people start having medical problems whenever Eric gets a story?
Eric wraps up another performance, to the praise of his parents and Feeny. I think it's adorable that Mister Feeny came to see Eric in the play. Some other folks are here to see Eric as well. One from Juilliard, one from the Royal Shakespeare Company, aaaaaaaand one from ABC. Naturally, Eric wants to be on TV, so he chooses the third option.
There's a little montage of Feeny and Eric driving a golf cart around some Hollywood lots, and finally we arrive at the set of Kid Gets Acquainted With The Universe. Yes, it's time for Boy Meets World to parody itself. The first example is Lindsay Ridgeway, the actress who plays Morgan, driving up in her golf cart and being very rude and abrasive and anti-Morgan. This is actually some of her best delivery we've ever seen.
Meanwhile in Chickenpoxville, Jack is delirious. In his delirium the thought-to-speech filter is completely turned off. He explains in his loopy-voice that Shawn doesn't want Topanga here since she broke up with Cory, which must mean that Shawn and Topanga were never actually friends. From my perspective, that's true, and is an interesting plot point to explore. Shawn and Topanga would never hang out without Cory. On the other hand, at the beginning of 5x16, Shawn says, and I quote, "You're my friend Topanga. You're one of the two best people I know." He had an agenda when he said that though, so I'm going to conclude that he was lying. Also Shawn's wearing that one shirt that someone pointed out at the beginning of the season, they called it an "ohm shirt", and we were gonna keep track. It's the first time I've seen it since then.
Time to kick the meta jokes into high gear back in Hollywood. Eric meets the rest of the cast of this show, where he'll be playing the "long lost brother". It's the same cast as Boy Meets World, and each of the actors is being the opposite of their Boy Meets World character. Ben Savage is Ben Sandwich, brother of Bread Sandwich from "that show", since his real brother, Fred Savage, was of course famous for The Wonder Years. Ben Sandwich is very aggressive and angry, literally every line he says is hysterical.
It's hard to say whether that's a jab at the fact that Eric is historically a more interesting character than Cory, but I like to think that it is. Funny either way. Ben's entire demeanor and attitude is just amazing, he's so good at this tongue-in-cheek stuff.
Rider Strong is Schneider, a very shy, awkward, anti-Shawn guy, and honestly, this one kinda misses the mark for me. The audience is much more entertained by it than I am. We don't get a name for Danielle Fischel's character, but it follows the same trend. She's ditzy and flirty and handsy, and... yeah you know what I'm getting at. This one works much better than Schneider. It's actually a lot of fun to see Fischel doing something other than Topanga's boringness.
Time for Matthew Lawrence. I put him at second place on the hilarity-meter, behind Ben. His gag is that he doesn't understand why they would want Eric on the show when they already have him. This is a reversal of Jack's introduction when there didn't really seem to be a reason for him. That's something that I and most of the commenters talked about at length, so it really is fantastic here that they're making fun of it. I genuinely appreciate this joke in every way.
Then we go over to Mister Feeny (the real Mister Feeny) wondering why the classroom set only has nine desks. The director, whose name is Matt Fraser, assures Feeny that camera angles will be used to make the classroom appear to have many more students. So, again, just another example of the show picking fun at itself. I don't know if the director's name is supposed to be a joke, it doesn't sounds like "Michael Jacobs", and I can't find any prominent employees at ABC with that name, so I dunno.
It's time to read some lines, and Ben's giving Schneider a hard time. "I am so sick and tired of carrying this show," the audience doesn't laugh at that, but it cracks me up. This might be the funniest I have ever seen Ben Savage. I love every single line, the audience isn't laughing nearly as much as they should be. The scene they're reading for has Schneider's character, Shane, trying to convince Ben's character, Rory, to steal his dad's car keys and credit card. Immediately, Ben yells at the director for giving them a story they've already done a hundred thousand times. "We're doing this story again?!" It really is one of the best jokes ever, because it's perfectly self aware. You can absolutely imagine the actors having that reaction in real life, and we've certainly had that reaction as viewers.
Best line in the series? Quite possibly. Ben Sandwich continues his tirade by yelling at the writing staff, who are a bunch of really young kids. These child actors don't know how to say their lines, making it tough to watch, but Ben continues to be hilarious. These kids are all the children of writers and producers of Boy Meets World, so, yeah, nepotism at its finest. The original Morgan was less annoying.
Anyway it's time for Eric to read some lines as Rory's brother Derek. Eric only knows how to do Shakespeare though, and then gets upset at how different Ben Sandwich is on camera, so the whole thing falls apart and Eric gets fired. Feeny gives him a quick lesson about how extremely difficult it is to make it in the acting business, that you'll get ten thousand rejections before a "yes", which is certainly a valuable lesson for aspiring actors, and artists in general.
Back in Philly, Topanga returns and her and Shawn make up and are friends again. But that's really not even remotely interesting. During the credits, we see Eric looking for his lucky tube socks, and Cory admits that he shrunk them in the wash, saying "I don't think they're so lucky anymore." But that wasn't in the script, so Will Friedle "breaks character" and flips out at Ben Savage for improvising, and then storms off. It's supposed to be the same kind of behind-the-scenes joke that we saw at the set of Kid Gets Acquainted With The Universe, except this time it's the actual Boy Meets World characters and actors. It's pretty damn amazing.
It's another joke episode, so there's no point in scoring it, but it definitely deserves a full score, A+, ten out of ten. This is absolutely one of the funniest and most fun episodes of the series. If not top 5, certainly top 10. I laughed from beginning to end. Love it. Granted, you do have to be pretty familiar with the show to get all of the meta humor, but if that's the case (as it is for all of us) then it's a fantastic ride. You can't miss this one.
As I've written this blog over the last year, there have been many times where I want to criticize this show for something obvious, but I don't. And that's because of this episode. This episode shows us that they're very well aware of the silly things they do on the show, especially that "and still be so stupid?!" part. Every time I've thought about criticizing that, I remember this episode. So not only is this episode hilarious, but the peek behind the curtain is also very important in the grand scheme of appreciating this show.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 25, 2015 13:33:48 GMT
Episode 5x20 "Starry Night"
Cory and Shawn are at a park, where everything Cory sees reminds him of Topanga. All he does is bitch for two minutes, including how Topanga rescued him from the monkey bars when they were kids. Shawn is supposed to be our comic relief, but he's got a whole lot to relieve here and it's not working for me. In particular, Cory explains that he was supposed to go to the new Van Gogh exhibit at an art museum with Topanga, but now she's gone with Angela instead.
Jump over to the exhibit with Topangela, and now everything reminds Topanga of Cory. Angela is our comic relief now, and, well, you know how that goes. The Lauren ordeal is brought up again by Topanga, who can't understand how you can kiss someone and have it "not mean anything." I think everyone has abandoned the "she kissed him" thing, since that would make this way too easy to resolve.
That's great and all, except that in "A Kiss is More Than a Kiss" in season 3, Topanga explains that kissing isn't always meaningful. I know it's not the exact same situation, they were broken up in that episode in season 3, but specifically regarding the "is kissing always meaningful" thing, we're seeing some inconsistency.
And I know that later in season 6, Topanga and Shawn kiss while filming a commercial, and that time Cory is convinced that they must have felt something when they kissed, even after all of this stuff we're seeing now. Bleh. I'm sure I'll bring it up again when we get to that episode.
A guy we're supposed to think is attractive (even though I'd say Shawn, Jack, and Eric are all better looking) comes over to Topangela to try to make some panties drop.
Okay so that was pretty funny.
Our new friend Ricky here apparently remembers Topanga from his childhood, because that's the only romance story these writers know how to tell. Angela leaves them to their business, and Ricky drones on about some Van Gogh stuff and how Starry Night is his favorite painting. Ricpanga talk all day at this exhibit and he asks her out for dinner tomorrow night. So obviously we're trying to draw some parallels between this and The Lauren Event.
In perhaps her most confusing move yet, Topanga insists that she find out what Cory thinks of Starry Night before she goes out with Ricky. So she drags Cory out to the exhibit but he doesn't want to play along.
That's just a polite way of saying "gurl dis some bull shit".
They argue about him kissing Lauren again, it's all the same exact stuff we've heard ten times already, and Topanga eventually just asks him again what he thinks about the painting. I can't adequately explain how uncomfortable this scene is. First of all, they were screaming at each other in an art museum. That's like launching fireworks in a library. And now Cory's interpretation of the painting feels so forced and he's managed to make it all about him and his situation. They bring God into it somehow, even though Van Gogh is quoted as saying "The Starry Night is not a return to the romantic or religious ideas." There are still a lot of experts that think this painting has religious undertones, and hey, art is open to interpretation so whatever, but that doesn't change how absurdly disgustingly forced this dialogue is. The actors don't seem comfortable at all and it's just awkward.
I think this is one of the worst scenes in the series. It's trying so hard to be profound, but the dialogue just ends up being word soup, it's a bunch of nonsense. Cory tells her "You'll know where I'll be" and heads for the exit.
We jump to Topanga on a date with Ricky, and he's talking about how he lived in Paris for a year and all this artsy stuff. He is clearly the perfect match for the version of Topanga that's been fabricated solely for this episode. It's funny, honestly, the writers must have been like "shit, Topanga's such a bland character, how can we write a male-Lauren for her when she's so boring?" So they decided that she would be into art for this episode. I think she shoulda called up Nunzio, at least then we could pretend her "I like dancing" phase was actually a real character trait. That's my new fanfiction. Topanga falls in love with Nunzio after breaking up with Cory and Nunzio goes with her to Yale. Hell, Angela is more interesting than Topanga just because we had to dig through her purse for a while. Whatever, I doubt Topanga will ever talk about art again after this episode. On that note, though, I do like the steps they've taken with Topanga on Girl Meets World.
After Ricky and Topanga kiss. it fades to black. At school the next day, Shawn is pretty angry at Angela for telling Topanga to go out with another guy.
Angela explains that Cory and Topanga are, in fact, broken up. She has the whole practical pragmatic understanding of the situation. This episode is far and away Angela's best showing to date. I'm actually going to say that she's the best character in this one. Funny and clever and reasonable, and Trina McGee is having fun with her lines, it's honestly a joy to watch. How bout that.
Just before Feeny's class begins, Shawn overhears Topanga tell Angela how amazing her date with Ricky was.
Cory is convinced that things are still going to work out. On the other side of the hall is the Topanga Dramatica Show. It's very long winded and it's supposed to get the viewer riled up, but the gist of it is that she felt nothing when she kissed Ricky, which made her realize that she's actually truly in love with Cory. The idea is that if she couldn't feel something for someone as "perfect" as Ricky, then she must truly love Cory. I didn't know that was ever even in question. Recall near the beginning when Topanga claims that you can't kiss someone and have it not mean anything, and now she has clearly seen that that can happen. That would make sense as a legitimate conclusion if they even bothered to mention it. But they didn't.
Like, how does this work? "I still love Cory, thus all the problems I had are null." When did she ever stop loving Cory? I just don't get it.
Topanga finds Cory at those same monkey bars he talked about at the beginning, Some nonsense happens, and she explains now that she understands kissing someone without feeling anything. Okay, so they did bring that up, that's good at least. Cory and Topanga kiss, and agree to "start over". If anyone out there is satisfied by all of this, then good for you, I'm glad this episode reached someone, but absolutely none of this means anything to me.
Plot: 0.25 - They tried to give Topanga a Lauren-story, and that sounds good in theory, but they had to invent a new personality for Topanga to do it, and that just immediately stops you from being interested at all.
Character Development: 0.25 - Cory and Topanga are back together. That dictates pretty much the rest of the series, so it's gotta be worth some points.
Humor: 0.25 - Angela and the brief interaction between Shawn and Cory.
Life Lesson: 0
0.75 out of 4.0. Definitely one of the lowest scores I've given. I hate this episode. None of the dialogue makes sense, Topanga is entirely fabricated, there's no Eric to make me laugh, and the resolution almost completely ignores all of the problems that led us here in the first place. It's garbage, but the writers were surely aware that they dug themselves into a hole with this story arc, and rather than having their main love interest split up, they decided to just shoehorn it back together and hope nobody asked too many questions.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 25, 2015 13:34:11 GMT
Episode 5x21 "Honesty Night"
The first two and a half minutes is a recap of the entire breakup arc, which would normally upset me as a viewer, wasting my time like that, but hey it's two and a half minutes I don't have to write about.
It's the day immediately after the end of Starry Night, and we're at school with a very lovey dovey Corpanga. We learn right away that Cory has neglected to tell Shawn about his reconciliation with Topanga. As she so aptly puts it, "You should have told Shawn before you told me!" I'm glad you recognize that, Topanga. So our newly reunited couple hatch a scheme to pretend to be broken up and find a way to let Shawn think he was responsible for getting them back together.
Top Five Feeny line right there.
Well this is gonna be a waste of time. I don't see any other option. I'm glad they stuck Feeny there though, that tells us that the writers aren't taking this seriously. At the same time, it's kind of depressing that we already know right away that we're going to be doing something stupid. Maybe they're just trying to lighten the mood after Starry Night.
So they set their plan into motion, and Shawn's buying it. Cory and Topanga do this whole bit where they realize that this sneaky deception is that dangerous sort of sexy. It's a refreshing change of pace to see them acting like they actually have hormones. And, full disclosure here, Danielle Fishel... is good at this.
There's some more good lines from Feeny here. Glad to see him back in action.
After class, the charade continues. It has its funny moments, but I mean... We spent the last handful of episodes watching them do this for real... I don't really need to see it in pretend-form now. Anyway Shawn gets sucked in to the con and resolves to save their relationship, all according to plan.
"Jerk" is, of course, the ABC approved substitute for "jackass".
At the apartment, Shawn is looking for advice from Jack and Eric. This is mostly a joke scene, and Eric's gag-of-the-episode is his Word-A-Day calendar. Today (as well as the next two days) the word is "estranged", and he keeps trying to work "estranged" into the conversation where it doesn't really fit. I think everybody loves this running joke, it's definitely one I remember in the long term. Unfortunately, Jack's donned his condescending-toward-Eric persona today, which no one likes, so his contributions are minimal.
It's time for Shawn's Couples Counseling in Cory's kitchen. He's really only making things worse though. Re: Feeny's Stupid Idea Train, CHOO CHOOOOO. Topanga is funny though, if you can believe it. It's her funniest episode that I can remember. Shawn insists that they each name one thing they'd like to change about the other. Cory says Topanga is "cold and unforgiving", while she calls him "an insensitive jerk". Topanga storms out, apparently breaking up with Cory for realsies, again. Yes, they've re-broken up because they each said something negative about the other under duress. It is ridiculous. Was that the "honesty night" part?
I love angry Ben Savage. We saw that back in Eric Hollywood. He's so much funnier when he's angry.
Cory explains his stupid scheme, and Shawn explains that he really doesn't care whether he's involved or if he gets told last or any of that. So now it's time for another round of Shawn's Couples Counseling, and this time we're going for group therapy.
I like to think that's a bit of meta humor. I imagine a lot of the staff and actors were getting sick of it like we are at home. Eric does some more silly word-a-day gags, which are still funny, but no one has the patience for his shenanigans.
Maybe I'm just in a good mood, but I cannot stop laughing at that. Jack's delivery, everyone's facial expressions, and Eric raising his hand, it's just too much, this is too funny. I said before that we don't care for this side of Jack's personality, but it absolutely got me this time. A+.
They go on to ask Jack why he stays with Eric after all the nonsense, and Jack explains that he still likes him and wants to be his friend, it's pretty adorable, and sort of serves as an example for Cory and Topanga to take note of. They don't, though, and the problem remains as we jump to Chubbie's. Cory and Topanga have their backs to each other, while Shawn and Angela look on from across the room. Amy and Alan show up and fight over some dumb stuff, and then make up really easily. This time Corpanga take notice and do the same thing. This was all cleverly orchestrated by Shawn, but he keeps that to himself. This Chubbie's scene took four minutes, by the way. That's the trend of this whole episode, fluff being extended into several minutes.
During the credits, Eric annoys Feeny with the overuse of his new vocabulary, so Feeny snaps him out of it by mentioning the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.
Plot: 0.75 - It's fluff, start to finish, but as fluff it works really well. I guess this is the actual end of the breakup arc, but I really don't know why they thought this was necessary. It's a fun episode, don't get me wrong, it just seems really strange after we did so much work getting Corpanga back together.
Character Development: 1.0 - They're back together for realsies. I mean it this time. Surely nothing could prevent them from reaching their ultimate goal of marriage now. ...Right? ...Guys?
Humor: 1.0 - Topanga had a great showing, Eric was fantasic, and Feeny too. And, of course, "Who is tired of Eric?"
LIfe Lesson: 0.5 - Everybody fights.
3.25 out of 4.0. Like I said, maybe I'm just in a good mood but I liked this episode a lot. It's a ton of fun with lots of laughs along the way.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 25, 2015 13:34:43 GMT
Episode 5x22 "Prom-ises Prom-ises"
Time for the senior prom. Both of our male leads are wearing tuxedos to cover their massive erections. They're speaking with ABC-acceptable-subtlety about how they're both hoping to have sex with their girlfriends after prom. Good work Boy Meets World, giving us a real and mature topic to explore. As a result, this episode was of course banned on Disney Channel. Cory explains that he and Topanga "made a chart" weighing the pros and cons of having sex, ending with a "maybe" from her, as long as everything goes exactly perfectly right. See that sounds more like Cory and Topanga, making a dorky little chart like that, not screaming over their interpretations of Van Gogh.
Joining us now are Cory's parents, and Alan immediately sniffs out what the boys were discussing. He drops a little warning about pregnancy and they go on their way. Which is cute since as soon as they boys leave, Amy informs her husband that she is pregnant. I don't think anybody saw THAT coming. Or maybe we just didn't want to.
We see Topangela having the same sort of conversation about sex, and they at least broach the possibility of sexing their respective boyfriends. For that alone you've gotta give this show credit. Female sexuality is almost non-existent on teen oriented shows of the 90s (and still today). Remember on Fresh Prince when Ashley decides not to sleep with Steve Urkel? My memory could be faulty, but I remember the audience cheering when she says she doesn't want to. Okay yeah I just found the episode, that's what happens.
Are you expecting the unexpected? Because that's what you're getting. This guy named Howie shows up at the door, ready to take Topanga to prom. There was apparently a misunderstanding during the time when Corpanga were split, and now we have a problem. Feeling guilty, Topanga lets Howie tag along with them to prom.
We're at prom now, and Jack and Eric are here. I guess they're chaperoning? Neither one remembers his own prom because they were both too busy making out with their dates. It's just barely not-preachy. It's close, but let's not dwell on it. Meanwhile on the dance floor, Topanga responds to Cory's advances by suggesting they get a hotel room (the prom is located at a big fancy hotel). This scene here where Cory tries to rent a room is extremely uncomfortable. He's nervous and awkward and doesn't want the hotel employee to think he's about to bang his girlfriend, saying things like "oh I'm just tired". So it drags on way too long and I don't think it's very funny at all, except for some of the receptionist's deadpan.
Eventually Cory gets his hotel room, and just then Amy and Alan show up at the desk looking for a room as well. I refuse to believe that any parents in the world would knowingly stay in the same hotel as their child's senior prom. This is so dumb, I'm actually angry that the writers decided to put it on paper. Mister and Missus agree to meet in the lounge and pretend they don't know each other, so we can already tell that this is about to devolve into "sitcom antics" reaaaaal quick.
Okay fine, I like this receptionist guy. If we're ranking one-off characters, it goes
1. Dancing Guy
2. Nunzio
3. Hotel Receptionist
Lauren would be up there, but she's not really a one-off. Hotel Receptionist is played by John Balma, who hasn't had any huge roles, but consistent minor ones since this. He's been on eight episodes of Parks and Rec as "Barney", who I don't remember at all... I'm gonna have to rewatch some of that.
Alright, time for the antics. In his excitement, Alan tells the woman next to him at the desk that he's going to be having a baby, and the woman gives him a congratulatory hug, which Eric sees from the background as adultery. Let me be clear. I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate these kinds of Flintstones Scooby Doo garbage ass scenarios.
Eric tells Jack about what he saw Alan doing.
I don't know how that's related to Alan having an affair, but Jack moves over to the exit to stop couples from going up to hotel rooms. It's pretty damn ridiculous, and Mister Feeny commends this behavior. From what we've seen of Feeny, I'd bet dollars to donuts that he was rockin' the bedroom way before his senior prom. Don't be a hypocrite, Feeny.
Cory reaches his hotel room and realizes that he forgot to bring Topanga. Is that supposed to be funny or are they just wasting time? Back down at the dance, Feeny announces prom king and queen. To no one's surprise, Cory and Topanga are the winners. How do we feel about this? Everyone at the school certainly knows that they're a long term couple, but I still wouldn't say they're popular. Cory has exactly one friend. Now there's nothing wrong with that, of course, it's just not conducive to becoming prom king.
So Cory spirits his girlfriend away, up to the hotel room, and Jack is unable to stop them. Cory and Topanga begin passionately kissing, and Topanga starts taking off Cory's suit. Way to go Topanga. Way to go writing staff. This is the man she loves after all!
Meanwhile Eric bribes Hotel Receptionist for the room number of "Mister Matthews," and he just ends up interrupting Cory and Topanga instead of his father. More Flintstones humor. Eric returns to Hotel Receptionist and tries to bribe him again, but he's looking for a bit more money this time.
That's it, I'm done. That's the best joke in the show. I don't need to go any further. Oh my god, I can't stop laughing. "And a mystery bag..." That is pure, unfiltered Eric right there. Perfection.
Back at the room, they get interrupted by Howie and then Topanga accidentally stabs Cory in the eye with her thumb. She sends him out to get ice for his eye, as well as some sodas, and now it's time for the EPITOME of Flintstones humor. Cory sets his card key on top of the ice container fridge thing, gets his ice, and walks off to find a soda machine without his card key. Now Alan comes out of his hotel room, which is of course right next door to Cory's, sets his own key next to Cory's, gets ice, and walks back with Cory's key. He tries to open his own door, then tries Cory's door and makes his way in to find a horrified Topanga. Now Cory grabs Alan's key and finds his mother. I wouldn't be surprised if they all started slipping on banana peels and telling knock knock jokes.
It's so thoroughly anti-funny that it ruins the episode for me. God, and we just had the mystery bag too. This switcheroo scene is all I can think of when it comes to this episode, so it never seems worth watching. But we were doing great up to that point.
Now Eric shows up, still under the impression that his father is having an affair.
Yes, there's the great culmination of all the contrived nonsense of this episode. That punchline is what we've worked so hard for. I'll admit that it made me laugh, but mostly because Will Friedle's delivery is so perfect.
The party's all here now as Cory and Amy emerge from the other room, and they announce to everyone that they're having another baby. This in-your-face unplanned pregnancy leads Corpanga to decide not to have sex after all, which is kind of.. ugh.. but at the same time it reaaaaaaally doesn't seem like Cory brought a condom. Not once at any point in this episode does ANYONE so much as mention any sort of contraception. That in itself is pretty disappointing. So they head back down to the dance.
Let's talk about what went right. Similar to the drinking episode, our heroes weren't preached to, or scolded, or commanded, they reached the decision together on their own. I can't tell you how glad I am that it wasn't some fragile girl throwing on the brakes under the pressure of a horny out of control male. That's what most shows do, and all that does is perpetuate the toxic idea that sex is something men do to women, rather than the healthy truth that it's something they both do together. (Or men and men, or women and women.) Boy Meets World went with the healthy truth. And so this episode got banned from Disney Channel. Fight the power.
What we have to understand is that there's no way in the universe they could ever air this episode if Topanga and Cory actually have sex (off camera, obviously). There's just no way. So with that in mind, I'm pretty happy with everything that happened, except for the glaring flaw that no one ever mentioned using a condom.
During the credits, Shawn asks Cory what happened, and Cory and Topanga give him this look like "you know what happened" which is a little... weird... Like, it really looks like they're saying "yeah we did it", which would be fine, but just based on what we saw they almost certainly did not. Unless it happened in the elevator on the way down. I don't get it.
Plot: 0.75 - I liked the first 75% of it, but then the god damn Flintstones shenanigans started and I could barely watch.
Character Development: 1.0 - A "nice girl" who wants to have sex. Thank you Michael Jacobs, for not taking the easy way out, for daring to tell the truth.
Humor: 1.0 - The BS at the end was annoying, but the fuckin MYSTERY BAG. Oh man, I'm still laughing. Wayyyyyyy too funny.
Life Lesson: 0.5 - Ehhhh I don't know, this one's hard to score. It almost seems like Alan was saying "don't have sex unless you're okay with a pregnancy", which I think is silly, but at the same time they were showing us not to be afraid of being intimate with someone you care about. WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY MENTION CONDOMSSSSSSSSSS. OR THE PILLLLL OR ANYTHINGGGGGG.
3.25 out of 4.0. I've been pretty thorough with my analysis so far, so there's not much left to say. It's a good episode, Hotel Receptionist is awesome, but you might as well turn it off when Cory leaves to get ice. What was the point of Howie? I thought he might actually impact the story but he was just a gag character. And not a very good one.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 25, 2015 13:35:11 GMT
Episode 5x23 "Things Change" Angela, Topanga, and their boyfriends are at Chubbie's, all four with their respective letter from Pennbrook. We find out that everyone has been accepted except Shawn, who is on the waiting list. Dang, that sure was less exciting than Eric's acceptance. But it's probably better this way, anything they tried would have paled in comparison to Eric's moment of triumph. During all these proceedings, Shawn's taking pictures of everyone as they open their letters, including himself. Ah, I see, they pulled out the old Hat of Hobbies again for this episode. (I made that.) I imagine the script said something like "Shawn takes as many photographs as possible to convince the viewers that this is actually something Shawn does." Just like Topanga's art, all of Shawn's "hobbies" in Chasing Angela, Cory being a filmmaker... The list is as long as the series. I'm sure we'll see the Hat of Hobbies again. At school, Cory and Topanga are convincing everyone who got accepted to Pennbrook not to go, so that the college will start admitting from the waiting list. It's an effective strategy, and it's fun to watch Cory and Topanga doing their silliness. Maybe we've turned a page after Starry Night. Topanga was good in 21 and 22 as well, but the comments are assuring me that she gets annoying again next season. Ah yes, the next scene takes place in the darkroom at Shawn's photography job. He enjoys the security of this job, and is honestly considering staying here even if he gets accepted to college. Hat of Hobbies indeed. We've invented a new character trait for the sake of the story, and have to pretend it's always been there. It was different with Shawn's philosophy class though. I liked that because it was a discovery, we watched him become interested. But with this I'm just left asking "why the fuck is he a photographer". There might be something interesting to say here if they intentionally gave his boss the same first name as Mister Turner, but it's probably just a coincidence. Cory and Topanga arrive in The Kitchen to find Amy, Alan, and Eric trying to choose a new wallpaper for Cory's room once he moves out. (Recall that Amy is pregnant.) Eric wants the wallpaper with duckies, and Cory's upset that everything is changing so fast. Woah! That's some dark humor! I like it. Eric is the master of all forms of comedy. So Cory leaves to go to Chubbie's, which is by gum the most consistent and unchanging thing on this show. We're doing almost the exact same scene as before now, with Shawn opening another letter from Pennbrook. And this time, he's been accepted. Woohooooo. Where the hell is Chet? I wanna see Chet's reaction to his boy getting into college. For that matter, everyone in the previous scene was too preoccupied with WALLPAPER to discuss the fact that Cory got into college! Either way, Shawn mentions that he's up for a big promotion at his photography job and thinks he's going to stick with the job rather than go to Pennbrook. Cory is obviously upset about this, claiming that Shawn is "throwing away his entire life", but let's think about it. If we accept the Premise Of The Day that Shawn wants to be a photographer, then he hit the fucking jackpot. The only reason to get a degree in photography is to get a job in photography. But he already has that! And he's about to get promoted! But it's not really about logic for Cory, he's just afraid of not having his best buddy around at college. Topanga also has a new letter, this time from Yale. She made the waiting list, but that's not what she wanted. Boo hoo Topanga, you spend all your free time goofing off with Cory. They don't really look for that when you're applying to an ivy league school. Cory drags Jack to where Shawn is setting up a photo shoot to convince him to go to college. Jack ends up doing some modeling shots instead. Funny stuff. They're actually making a great case for Shawn not going to college. I don't remember how this episode ends, but we all know Shawn ends up going to Pennbrook, so I'm genuinely interested to see what makes him change his mind. Cory's last hope is Mister Feeny, but he's already given Shawn his blessing to stay at the photography job. Good for you, Feeny. The old man comments that things change, "and not just for students." Old man George is retiring and moving to Wyoming.  Taking it one step further, Topanga arrives with another letter from Yale, this time an acceptance. Everything seems to be falling apart for our boy Cory. Morgan comes outside to comfort her brother, and they end up going to Chubbie's, the last bastion of normalcy in Cory's life. Except it's not. Chubbie's is finally gone. Kaput. No more Chubbie's in this series. It has been bought out by Peg Leg Pete's, a pirate themed restaurant. R.I.P. I didn't mean "Rest In Peace" there, that stands for "Restaurant Is Pirates". I love that line. It's crazy how quickly they just delete something we've had since season 2. Chubbie's has almost certainly been in a majority of the episodes, and now it's just gone. But that's sort of the point, you know? How quickly you can lose your familiar settings. I'm sad to see it go, honestly. That's good writing. Imagine if they'd done like... a party for the "last night at Chubbie's" or whatever, that would have been terrible! Much better to keep it like this and keep the theme intact. So yeah, the story of this entire episode is that Cory is unhappy with the way things are changing. Morgan runs outside to bring in Eric and then everyone else to try to make Cory feel better. Slowly, but surely, he begins to accept all the changes going on around him, as he encourages Topanga to go to Yale and Shawn to stay at his job. Angela doesn't have any lines in this scene because who the hell caaaaares what she thinks. Cory even begins to accept Feeny's retirement. Eric's been all zen about change so far, but Mr. Feeny moving to Wyoming just crosses the line, dammit! So I guess this all gets resolved in the next episode, since it's time for the credits. During which, it's... that scene... ...Where Eric doesn't want Mister Feeny to leave... ;_____________________________________; That rips me apart from the inside every time I watch this episode. Every single shred of innocence that we love in Eric bursts out in this moment of complete and total vulnerability. It is the saddest kind of beauty, and the most beautiful kind of sadness. No one on this show comes anywhere close to the raw emotional power that Eric has, especially with Mister Feeny. I adore that line. Top five moment. I don't care how many times I've said that, this is a top five moment. And here's the video of that, if you want it to see it (I know you do). Plot: 0.25 - Stuff is just changing. There isn't really anything going on. I did like the small touch of having Shawn on the waiting list first, it would have been a stretch for him to get straight in. And we've talked about this before, but when the hell did Cory become a good student? It just sort of happened and they made it seem like it had always been that way. And the whole thing with Shawn's photography, the Hat of Hobbies, that's really annoying. We know that'll never come up again. Why didn't they just pick something we've seen about Shawn in the past? Something poetry related, or GEE I DON'T KNOW, the fucking advertising agency from How To Succeed In Business? For crying out loud. Character Development: 1.0 - I should change this category to like, "character exploration" or something. I'm giving the point for Eric's love for Feeny, even though that's not really a development. Humor: 1.0 - Cory is hilarious the whole time since he's angry, the modeling scene with Jack is funny, and Eric is funny as always. Life Lesson: 1.0 - Things do, in fact, change. It's kind of cheap since we already know none of these changes are permanent, but the theme still works. 3.5 out of 4.0. This is a fantastic penultimate episode. It does exactly what it's supposed to, we're totally set up and excited for what's to come in the season finale. There's a lot of interesting plot threads to follow. I for one am super excited for the next episode. That's a job well done. |
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 25, 2015 13:38:56 GMT
Episode 5x24 "Graduation"
It's the end of the year and Cory wants to get his yearbook signed by everyone who passes by, but they all silently ignore his advances. Need I remind you, this is the guy who won Prom King a few episodes ago, and now nobody will give him the time of day. You might almost suggest that Cory winning Prom King was total fucking nonsense. Almost.
Doesn't matter though, because this just became one of the best episodes in the season. It's FRANKIE AND JOEYYYYYY. Last time we saw Joey was in the marathon billiards match, all the way back in season 3. We saw Frankie a few more times after that, last of which was Turkey Day in season 4. But they're back for their final final appearance now, asking Cory and Shawn to sign their (stolen) yearbooks. They're definitely a few years older than Cory and Shawn, but Cory makes a point of saying that it took the thugs eight years to get through high school. I barely recognized Joey at first.
So yeah, this is just a fun way to give our favorite thugs a proper sendoff. Love it, A+, don't really need to see any more, but let's keep going.
Okay I'm glad we kept going. IT'S MINKUS O'CLOCK, my favorite time of the day. He says that for the "last four years" it hasn't felt like he's been at the school. So we've got re-confirmation that seasons 2 through 5 were four years, and not the five years it would take to go from beginning of 8th grade to end of 12th grade.
That shit don't matter tho.
Cuz it's fuckin Minkus.
Our favorite nerd explains that he's been "over there" the whole time, pointing toward the studio audience. Cory explains "We don't go over there," and Shawn continues that you may never come back if you do go over there.
Hey look, Minkus is holding his notebooks in that way all the girls hold their notebooks.
You see that!? THEY'RE BRINGIN BACK CHARACTERS FROM OLD SEASONS
SO I BROUGHT BACK COMMENTARY FROM OLD SEASONS
FUCKIN AMAZING BEST BLOG EVERRRRRRRRR
I'd like to know why they couldn't get Turner for a reappearance. He was a much more significant character than Minkus or the thugs, I'd definitely like to see him again.
Shawn doesn't really care about signing Cory's yearbook, and he also thinks the class rings that Topanga and Cory are so excited about are stupid and meaningless. And hey, I agree with you Shawny boy. I always wrote "See you tomorrow" in my friends' yearbooks. But I guess it's a lot different now with Facebook and everything. Anyway yeah, Shawn is the Grinch of the last week of school. Topanga tells her boyfriend that she's going to Pennbrook over Yale, but he insists she read the "information I got off the internet last night" on Yale before she makes her decision. ...Cory knows how to use the internet? Should I be as surprised as I am?
Shawn calls out his best friend on faking his supportiveness for Topanga. Real Grinchy Grinch behavior here today.
In class, Feeny gives everyone an optional assignment to write about "what's in your heart during this last week of school." Feeny makes it very clear that he wants Shawn to do the assignment, and perhaps he's created this assignment solely to hear from Shawn.
Topanga literally threatens Mister Feeny into giving her an A, since she has "699 As" and wants 700. Afraid for his life, the old man complies. As usual, we, the viewer, don't care.
Shawn returns to The Apartment to find some sort of celebration set up by Jack to congratulate Shawn on graduating. It's odd, since Shawn isn't actually graduating for another two days. Either way, the gesture isn't well received by the angstier Hunter boy, so the two end up wrestling and arguing like always. Shawn is being a real jackass today. Jack went to a lot of trouble here!
Eric emerges from his bedroom clad in spy gear, heading off to stop Mr. Feeny from retiring. This man truly is the Master of Shenanigans.
Aaand that's the last interaction between the Hunter boys. Their problem remains unresolved, so that was pointless. Honestly, this is exactly where they started at the beginning of the season. That's uh... That's an interesting writing choice. Back at school, Cory's let loose a few chickens in the hallway as a senior prank. The joke is that no one cares about the chickens, not even Feeny, but Cory thinks it's the greatest prank of all time. It's cute. I like the way Cory keeps yelling "chickens!" More importantly though, we have another meeting between Feeny and Shawn. Feeny urges Shawn to work on the assignment, but Shawn still doesn't want to since it's not required.
I really appreciate that line, it really reflects everything Feeny's been about in this series. It resonates with what I've been talking about in If You Can't Be and Prom-ises, where the characters aren't following orders or rules, they make the decisions for themselves. And that's always been Feeny's philosophy, to point out what page we're on, to give everyone the information they need to make their own decisions and choices.
Topanga shows up and asks they boys if they want to hear her valedictorian speech. Shaking his head, Shawn walks away without saying anything at all. I'm going to have to agree with Shawn here. Minkus reappears off to the side, and challenges Topanga's claim to valedictorian. Unfortunately for our favorite nerd, the A that Topanga extorted out of Feeny brought her to victory. You'll recall that Topinkus argue about this same grade crap in episode 7 of GMW. It was pretty forced and nonsensical, and most importantly anyone who didn't see this episode of BMW wouldn't understand what was going on.
Once again, Cory encourages his girlfriend to go to Yale, but she's still not sure so she goes to Feeny's office that evening for advice. It's really difficult to get invested in this when you already know what happens. Or maybe it's just that we're all wishing for Topanga to go to Yale. I just don't care about her struggle, I really don't. Eric saves us from the monotony though, by grappling-hook-ing his way in through Feeny's window.
The tune of "Good Lookin Guy" from 4x02 plays while Eric is climbing (and ultimately falling) out the window, which is a beautiful flourish on the end of an already hysterical bit.
There's a touching scene up next when our three heroes stay after class to talk to Feeny. They ask if all their antics have driven him to retiring, but it turns out to be quite the opposite. Watching the three of them grow has given him enough gratification to close out his career with total satisfaction. Very touching.
These words leave Shawn thinking about the thing he complains most about, which is school. Tie that in with the optional paper about what school means to him, and we're set up for an epic conclusion.
We're at the graduation ceremony now, and it's time for the valedictorian speech. Topanga defers to "somebody who could give a much better speech than I ever could." This is, of course, Shawn. The point of his speech is that he dicked around too much in school and now... he really wishes that he hadn't.
And The Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.
So this is the conclusion of the Shawn-Feeny arc that took us from City Slackers to the Eskimo to now. Shawn's spent his whole life thinking he's defined by his upbringing, that he's a failure no matter what, but now... "I coulda done better." Shawn is realizing his own potential, admitting that his previous failures are his own fault. We don't learn his plans for the future in this episode, but I like to think that he's already made up his mind to go to Pennbrook at this point, because he wants to prove to himself and everyone else that he still can do better. Good stuff. The Shawn-Feeny arc is definitely more subtle than Eric-Feeny or Cory-Shawn or Cory-Topanga, or even Shawn-Turner which ended back in Cult Fiction. Even so, it's got two of my favorite episodes, Eskimo and City Slackers, so once you've picked up on it, it really is a great story.
Eric jumps up out of the graduating students to stop the proceedings, trying to delay Feeny's impending retirement. He grabs the microphone and starts singing To Sir With Love by Lulu, directed at Feeny. It's funny at first, but it drags on wayyyyy too long. What's worse though is that it completely undermines the ending from the last episode. We saw that moment of seriousness between mentor and student, but now Eric is just acting like an idiot. I really wish this hadn't happened, and they'd just let the end of 5x23 be this season's last scene with Eric and Feeny. Especially since this contributes nothing to anything. He just keeps singing and eventually it cuts to Feeny reading off the names of the students to come get their diplomas. Again, it is funny, but it's still not worth it.
Our heroes give Minkus a big hug after his name is called, which, in my opinion, was absolutely necessary. A very, very sweet gesture from the writers to include this in the memory of our season 1 pal.
Last but not least, Topanga proposes to Cory right there during the name-calling ceremony. Cory is left speechless and it's just that fun guitar music during the credits. I didn't ask for this. Why.
Plot: 0.5 - It's a lot of fluff. Lots of wrapping-up going on, and the scenes with Minkus and the thugs were just fanservice. Appreciated, certainly, but still fanservice. Shawn's little story with the paper is where the points are coming from. Shame they didn't address whether or not Shawn's going to college in this episode. They really teased that in the previous episode and it never came up here.
Character Development: 1.0 - "I coulda done better" and Topanga proposed.
Humor: 1.0 - Eric's spy gear bit was fantastic, so was Cory and his chickens. Topanga was thoroughly anti-funny, but whatever.
Life Lesson: 1.0 - "I coulda done better" either hits you really hard or doesn't mean anything. It hit me really hard when I first saw this, and this is my blog, so I'm giving the point.
3.5 out of 4.0. At the end of the day, watching this episode is just necessary. We have a sendoff for Frankie, Joey, and Minkus, Topanga proposes, Shawn does his thing, it's all very important. It's not amazing, but it's fun and it's important. I think that's all I've got to say.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 28, 2015 13:30:01 GMT
Episode 6x01 "His Answer (Part 1)"
We get a quick recap of the developments near the end of Season 5. Amy got pregnant, Feeny decided to retire, everyone graduated, and Topanga proposed. In the present, Cory's unsure how to respond to this ambush-proposal, which is the most rational thing about the situation. He agrees after she kisses him though, so there we go, that's "his answer", why do we need a part 2? Either way, Topanga wants go tie the knot right away. Why wait when you've been together your whole lives?
Damn you Karen McCain, for getting in the way of my gif. And wow, that's a low blow from Cory. I don't even know what's real anymore, to be honest. I thought we established that Eric convinced Cory girls were icky for a few years, and then they started dating again in high school. But I think from now on they'll be insisting that they've never been apart, so consider this my blanket statement of "this is a BS retcon" for the rest of the series. Between my posts and the comments we've all harped on it enough. Let's just accept our fate and be done with it.
This scene jumps back and forth from The Apartment to what must be Angela's room, which we've never seen before, where she and Topanga are similarly talking about the marriage situation. Shawn, as we know, buys into The Retcon and thus supports the marriage, while Angela, surprisingly enough, thinks they should be doing pretty much everything in the world except getting married. We learn that Cory is afraid to tell his parents about the proposal, but not much else. It's mostly just to show us Shawn and Angela reacting to the news.
But Shawn's got news of his own.
Cory's lack of enthusiasm is due to his preoccupation with GETTING MARRIED, but that still deserves a "what the hell?" Shawn's going or not-going to Pennbrook was one of the most significant issues at the end of last season. It was a really big deal, and it was starting to look like he actually wouldn't go. But now it's just swept under the rug with a "I decided to go." He does mention his photography job though, so they're at least attempting some sort of continuity. Underwhelming, to say the least. Jack is more excited about it than anyone else, but he and Eric are alarmed to learn that Shawn will be living in a dorm with Cory instead of in The Apartment. How ever will they find a replacement?
Well since this is a sitcom, all they've gotta do is wait about ten seconds, same way we found Jack at the beginning of season 5. The redhead from the new intro loudly breaks up with her boyfriend at the end of the hallway and is quickly recruited by our boys to be their new roommate. A few hours later, Shawn's not happy to find all his stuff being thrown out into the hallway, but quickly changes his mind at the sight of the new fiery haired roommate.
You kinda have to hear it, but the way Shawn does that line gets me in stitches every time.
So yeah. Welcome to the new Apartment Dynamic. The new girl, Rachel, is very good looking. That's her thing. For two seasons. The amount of shenanigans resulting solely from the fact that she's good looking is just absurd. I am not looking forward to it. "Rachel is pretty, and thus ___ occurs." Eric and Jack were really starting to find their footing as a team, but any hope we had is gone now. For the most part, anyway.
Shangela and Corpanga arrive at the Matthew House after a double date, and things start to unravel. It comes up that Shawn and Cory will live together, but Topanga expected to live with Cory since they'd be married, but no one can mention the marriage in front of Cory's parents, so it's a whole sitcommy mess. Eric shows up just then, expertly breaking the tension as always.
I love everyone else's expressions there.
Topanga eventually just says flat out that they're getting married. Amy, Alan, and Angela, The A Team, serve as the force of reason here, saying all the things that we the viewers want to say about why this marriage is such a bad idea. Shawn's purpose is to remind everyone (including us) that Cory and Topanga are exceptions to the natural way of things, and Eric doesn't say anything at all. Probably because he's too busy thinking about, I don't know, kangaroos, or Mister Feeny, or his new roommate. The situation heats up, and ultimately Corpanga run off to elope.
Once they're gone, Eric comes out in support of their marriage, but his reasons are total nonsense.
That's another one where the delivery is important. It's hard to explain why this is different from when Jack does those kinds of insult-jokes, which I generally don't enjoy, it must have to do with the fact that Alan is a better established character and actually knows Eric a lot better than Jack does.
Corpsehanger arrive at some judge's house to elope, and it's clear that everyone's kinda starting to question this whole thing. It's completely obvious to everyone on earth that they're going to wait and have a real ceremony, because it's television, so I'm really not interested in jumping through these hoops.
At The Apartment, Jack and Rachel find their way into some play-wrestling, just as Eric comes home.
There are some more jokes about how Rachel is good looking before Eric explains the crisis he "resolved" back at home. And then some more jokes about Rachel, it's honestly kind of unsettling, the red flags ought to be going off in her head right now, but instead she says that they're terrific and are making her realize what a creep her now-ex-boyfriend was. Like, this would be fine if they were old pals, I can totally understand that kind of humor, but they literally just met her earlier today, and now they're both blatantly competing to get in her pants. Maybe she's just used to this sort of thing, I have no idea.
If I were to give her character a lot of credit, I would say that that's a clever way of passively shutting down their boners. Buuuuuuut it's probably just a cheap "haw haw they aren't gonna get laid" reversal joke. Whatever.
We jump back to the judge's house for the wedding ceremony. Cory says "I do" but Topanga finds herself unable to get the words out, and it fades to the credits, which is just some jammin' guitar music over the logo. Real talk, I love all of the music that plays during the credits like this. Maybe it's all nostalgia, but it always sounds like a bright sunshiney afternoon.
And oh, I get it now, the next episode is called "Her Answer (Part 2)", because now she's gotta answer the "Do you take Cory..." question. Cute.
Plot: 0.25 - Nothing really happened. We barely addressed Shawn going to college, Rachel was introduced in the LAZIEST WAY IMAGINABLE, and the whole eloping thing just feels unnecessary.
Character Development: 0.5 - Rachel is developed in the sense that she comes into existence, but that's about it. Again, very lazy writing when it comes to Rachel.
Humor: 1.0 - Eric does a lot of good work, Cory too for the first half. And Shawn is consistent throughout.
Life Lesson: 0 - It's really unclear how we're supposed to view this eloping. Everyone sort of comes to terms with it by the end, except then Topanga suddenly doesn't like it anymore. Also it's totally cool to be a massive creep toward your new roommate.
1.75 out of 4.0. - Definitely the weakest season opener so far. We had such a great setup at the end of season 5, but this was a letdown. The two biggest points are that we didn't explore Shawn choosing to go to college, and that Rachel's entire presentation this episode seems like it was written by a 14 year old boy. Seasons 4 and 5 had such strong openings, showing us everything to look forward to, but what the hell do we have to look forward to now?
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 28, 2015 13:30:29 GMT
Episode 6x02 "Her Answer (Part 2)"
So we're still at The Elopening, where Topanga's unable to finish saying "I do", she keeps getting stuck after "I". She eventually flees the scene, which kiiiiiiiiiiinda makes me feel like the entire last episode was a big poopy waste of time. Was that "Her Answer" just now? Is it over?
Apparently not, since Cory's still gotta drive them both back to Philly, which is quite possibly the most uncomfortable situation in the universe.
The atmosphere doesn't get much better than that, and Topanga explains that she wants a thoroughly meaningful wedding. That sounds like something she really ought to have known before deciding to elope in the previous episode. And she manages to act like Cory's the bad guy, which is annoying.
At home, Amy and Alan are talking through Cory's eloping. Alan insists that Cory wouldn't really go through with it, and then wants to go to bed since it's so late, kicking off one of the best multi-hit jokes in the series.
I will always love that. I made all those gifs the same number of frames so they'd be synced up, but with the way gifs are loaded in your browser, it doesn't look like they'll sync properly. Oh well.
As everyone shows up they give their thoughts on The Elopening, but one important detail they sneaked in here is that both Eric and Shawn were expecting to be Cory's best man, That comes up again in the future, so I like to think they're giving us a little teaser here now. Feeny, though, is more interested in talking about himself and his retirement. As usual, Eric freaks out at the mention of his mentor's retirement, but Feeny explains that when you care about someone, you should be supportive of their decisions, even if it's hard. This, of course, draws a parallel to everyone's negative reactions toward The Elopening, It would appear that they've all decided to be more supportive. It's almost impossible for us to be invested in that, though, since we already know Cory and Topanga didn't go through with it.
Over in Rachelville the next morning, it's time for another production of Rachel Is Attractive Theater.
This plays out exactly like every scene from the previous episode.
Boys: "Wow Rachel is hot."
Rachel: "You guys are my heroes!"
The subject of Rachel's likability came up in the comments for the last episode, so let's look at that. I guess I would agree that she's likable as a person, I mean yeah she's cute and super friendly, you can see yourself being friends with her, and the actress is skilled enough. But that doesn't outweigh the fact that as a character she's horribly one dimensional and boring. I feel like I just described Riley on Girl Meets World. But who knows. Angela and Jack both had a couple great episodes last season, so hopefully Rachel turns out the same way.
She mentions that she's going to go take a bubble bath, and then Eric and Jack give us like seven jokes that are all centered on the fact that they enjoy the thought of her being naked in their home. It's just... ugh... such lazy writing. This turn of events leads the boys profess their love for each other once Rachel goes to take her bath. It's funny, and we all love to see the bromances on this show. But on the other hand, they're bonding over creeping on Rachel, so I'm torn.
Now Cory and Topanga arrive back at the Matthews House, where everyone congratulates them on their marriage. Let me explain why I hate this. It's almost exactly two minutes of bull shit. Cory and Topanga want to be showered in compliments and good tidings, so they don't bother correcting the misunderstanding, which just fills the entire scene with needless dialogue. Why do we have to sit here and listen to everyone give a speech about their marriage, when we already know it didn't happen? We don't care about this. Yeah you could argue that there's some emotional value to it, but it's ultimately worthless since they're all mostly faking it to show support. This is pure 100% Colombian waste of time.
After that two minutes passes, it's Amy's turn for a speech. She can't keep up the facade though, and expresses her disapproval, and finally takes a shot at Topanga with "Why couldn't you have just gone to Yale?" It seems a little out of character for her to be so cruel, but we don't really know enough about her to talk about it.
In one of Cory's most impressive moments to date (and I'm not being sarcastic) he explodes at his mother for saying something so horrible. It's a powerful moment for his character. I think I've been impressed every time that Cory gets actually angry.
In a very rapid change of tone, it's time for another installment of Rachel Is Attractive Theater. Jack bought her a book as a gift, while Eric bought her a bird. Rachel seems overwhelmed by her gifts though, and retreats to her bedroom. Eric wonders if they can eat the bird. Actually pretty funny.
Back at home, we learn just what the fuck is wrong with Amy. Alan makes his way through the dialogue tree, and it turns out that Amy doesn't want to be replaced as Cory's caretaker, and is generally having a hard time letting go. It's a believable result for her character, and Betsy Randle does a fantastic job with it, but it still doesn't justify her outburst from earlier. That was some serious vitriol.
The Theater resumes as Rachel reemerges from he room with a big suitcase. The boys assume she's moving out, and start to apologize for all their creepy objectification and promise not to do it anymore.
I sure am glad they acknowledged that. I hope this new resolution lasts.
Either way, Rachel wasn't planning on moving out anyway. Her suitcase was just full of stuff from her last boyfriend (who she was originally living with) and was going to throw it into an incinerator. She acknowledges the sexual tension, and admits she could fall for either one of them, but agrees that they all need to keep it platonic. So again, I hope this lasts.
I really like that joke. First of all because I wasn't expecting it, and second because it shows a shift from how Jack started out season 5. Here he is going along with Eric doing something silly (eating a bird he bought for Rachel) instead of just making fun of him. That's much better.
A hop, skip, and a jump takes us to a park, in front of a monkey-bar jungle-gym... thing... I checked, and this is indeed the same place where Starry Night ended, and, before that, was where Cory and Topanga met for the first time. Which is to say that there is some version of the retcon where that is true. I never actually noticed that until today, so that's fun.
Amy explains why she was a bitch-a-saurus earlier, and ends up giving her mother's engagement ring to Topanga to wear. Cory grabs it and proposes to Topanga on the spot, since their first proposal/engagement was nullified when the wedding failed. Or whatever. And okay, this is Her Answer. So they met here, Starry Night happened here, and now they're engaged here. And the best part is, NO ONE MENTIONS ANY OF THAT. The significance of this location is entirely subtext. And I think it's much more special that way. Thumbs up.
Corpanga announce that they haven't decided on a wedding date. They're going to get married "when they're ready."
During the credits, a going-away party is being held for Feeny in The Kitchen. Eric gives the exact same speech that Amy gave earlier, except directed at Feeny. Very funny.
That's like the third time we've seen Angela in this episode, but she hasn't had any lines at all. Weird.
Plot: 0.5 - CAWRY N TUPOONG R GET MARRYYYY
Character Development: 1.0 - Amy finally approves of the engagement, Jack and Eric stop creeping on Rachel.
Humor: 1.0 - Mostly Eric, but Shawn and Cory had their moments too. And that whole "creeps and weirdos" bit gets me every time.
Life Lesson: 0 - Don't eat your pet birds.
2.5 out of 4.0. - Enjoyable. Eric makes it worth watching. And the really real engagement of our main couple is an important landmark. The weird thing though is that it's not like we've made any progress since the end of Graduation. They're still getting married. IMPORTANT FOLLOW UP QUESTION: WHERE THE HELL DOES SHAWN LIVE? I mean he must have moved back to the trailer, right? He and Cory don't move to the dorm until the next episode. You'd think they would mention that somewhere.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 28, 2015 13:31:03 GMT
Episode 6x03 "Ain't College Great?"
Cory and Shawn have finally arrived at their new college dorm, and Cory brought pudding.
As you can see, Shawn's hair has changed a bit since last episode, when he still had his wavy bangs. Now it just makes him look 40 years older. Put a beer gut on him and he looks like some angry New York taxi driver.
So Shawn doesn't want to be known as "Pudding Boy's best friend", and HOLY SHIT it feels like we're back in season two! We left the soap opera drama in the previous episode, now we're seeing our goofy hero in a new environment trying to find his way, and his cool best friend is keeping him in check. SHAWN AND CORY. OLD SCHOOL. BACK IN ACTION. Feels great.
Cory's parents and Morgan come in with the rest of Cory's luggage, and he tries to send them off with a "Well hey, thanks for raising me. See ya," which hits way too close to home. Amy's wearing overalls, which reminds me to be glad I haven't seen non-work overalls in a very long time. Cory's family leaves, prompting the arrival of the boys' girlfriends, who whisk them off to sign up for classes. Along the way, we learn that Cory is afraid of the co-ed bathroom.
Cory wants to sign up for challenging courses in the hopes of reinventing himself, in particular Existentialist Thought And Its Effects On Quantum Physics, while his friends are going to be signing up for basic introductory classes. You can already imagine all the cheap laugh we'll be getting out of that.
At The Apartment, it's another episode of Two Guys Want To Sleep With Rachel. So that whole "we have have to keep it platonic" thing from the end of last episode is already in the dumpster. Rachel's sobbing on the couch, surrounded by used tissues and snack foods.
The guys try to make her feel better. Jack is very sensitive and empathetic, while Eric is more fun and whimsical, reciting In a Cabin In a Wood with Rachel. You could argue that they're just genuinely being nice, and maybe they are, but Rachel lights a spark when she responds with "if you two were one guy, I would be in serious trouble." You really should have known better than that, Rachel. That is only going to cause problems.
Over at the Student Union/Bookstore place (which is the new Chubbie's, and I'll call it The Union from now on) Cory's friends are trying to convince him he's a huge fucking moron for signing up for a bunch of impossible classes. He doesn't listen though, since he's stuck on "reinventing" himself.
I love Topanga's face at the end there, like "huh that's actually a decent point".
On his way out of The Union, Cory crosses paths with his Quantum professor, who starts speaking total gibberish when Cory asks for a synopsis of the course. I think a lot of people enjoy this, but I think it's kinda dumb. I am more than ready to be disagreed with. Regardless, this has the desired effect on Cory who rushes off to some dean or other, though it's definitely not the same dean that Eric was involved with last season. I don't think we'll see that guy again, and looking back it seems they were smart enough to stop writing that character pretty early on. I think it was episode 4 that was the last time he appeared. Huh. I totally forgot about him.
Cory successfully drops his courses, but all the intro classes are already full. He pleads with this dean whoever guy to "please fix this", but the dean guy dishes out a serving of harsh truth.
First of all, college is not the real world. College is fucking easy and I wish I could have stayed there forever. So to answer the question in the title, yes. Yes it is great. Second, this shouldn't be a new concept for Cory. Even in high school you can't just magically get into a full class. And third, this is bull shit. There is an abundance of people eager to help you as much as they can. They want you to succeed, partly because the school makes more money if you stay enrolled. I don't know why TV shows like to make college seem so much harder than high school, and high school seem so much harder than middle school, but it's all crap.
The shot fades to Cory at a lake in Wyoming, accusing Feeny of not preparing him "for life". Right away we all know that's a bunch of HOOEY. For the curious, Cory got here with the air miles he's accumulated from his pudding labels. Silly, but at least they gave us something. After seeing how easy Feenys retired life is, Cory decides to stay.
Back at The Apartment, Eric's trying to seem extremely sensitive to impress Rachel, going for the "two in one" thing she mentioned before. At least Jack seems to have given up on these shenanigans.
And like... what are we even doing right now? Eric has always been sensitive! He's the most sensitive guy on the show! Certainly more sensitive than Jack. This has been completely fabricated just for this episode. Disappointing.
Rachel appears to be won over by this charade and uses her sexy voice to ask Eric to help her with her laundry. Jack and Eric both seem to think this is a big deal.
In Wyoming, Cory's acting like a tired old man, to hilarious effect, but Feeny insists that Cory is too young to be doing absolutely nothing, and realizes that he himself is also too young for this kind of life. It really is funny. It's always great when Ben Savage goes outside the normal Cory range.
That's Cory in the blue hat, if that's not obvious.
We're in the laundry room now, with Eric and Rachel, and lemme tell ya. Rachel has turned the sexy levels up to "Holy Shit".
She does a whole routine, blatantly trying to seduce Eric.
So yeah, he's like "you're not acting like yourself" and she's like "yeah neither are you." Woopdy woppy woodly doo ladies and gentlemen. Don't try to seduce your roommate unless you're acting like yourself.
Feeny tries to work things out with the dean/guidance counselor whatever guy from before, but no luck, so he and Cory wander into The Union, where they meet up with Topangela and Shawn. It turns out that they all signed up for an extra class specifically to drop it and make room for Cory in case he needed it. That seems like really vital information to share at some point during the first half of the episode. Either way, Cory is no longer screwed and we get to have a heartwarming moment with Mister Feeny.
I love that look he gives Shawn there at the end.
During the credits, Jack decides to bring out his "fun" side, the same way Eric wanted to be sensitive. (refer back to the logo at the top) So I guess Jack isn't actually above the shenanigans. The whole bit is really funny though, I'll give it that.
Plot: 1.0 - It feels like the old Boy Meets World again! Cory learning a lesson with the help of his friends and Mister Feeny. And Eric doing some unimportant yet funny side story.
Character Development: 1.0 - Feeny's not ready to retire! Woooo!
Humor: 1.0 - Eric was fantastic as always, and Cory was great in Wyoming. Feeny had some great lines too.
Life Lesson: 0.25 - Sign up for your courses like a not-massive-idiot.
3.25 out of 4.0. It's a great episode, lots of fun along the way, even if the Rachel story is the same shit we've seen in the last two episodes. Maybe someday we'll see something different in The Apartment. And we've gotta remember that bit about the co-ed bathroom. By same crazy twist of nature, that comes up again.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 28, 2015 13:31:33 GMT
Episode 6x04 "Friendly Persuasion"
It's freshman orientation in The Union with all twenty of the new students at Pennbrook. Cory and Topanga are making out on the couch since they have no shame. Angela wants to make out with Shawn, but he wants to spend this time meeting new people, which is the complete reverse of what we would expect. A cute girl named Cameron approaches Shawn, who then introduces Angela as his friend, but quickly corrects himself, causing Cameron to walk away. So now it's awkward.
I will say that it's nice to see Cory and Topanga acting like normal teenagers instead of Hollywood soulmates.
Angela isn't gonna quickly forgive Shawn for his "friend" comment, and it sounds like she might want to break up since Shawn's so interested in "meeting new people".
Elsewhere, Cory is still afraid of the co-ed bathroom (a fear born in the previous episode). Nothing comes of it though, it's just setting the groundwork for later. And there's a funny little bit where both Topanga and Shawn are impressed by the body of a muscular guy who walks in to take a shower. Back in The Dorm, Cory learns that Shawn and Angela have indeed broken up.
Shawn's wearing that shirt again. We've talked about Shawn wearing the same shirts a few times already, and now that I think about it, it makes sense. Shawn's too poor to have an expansive wardrobe. I doubt anyone on the show put that much thought into it, but it'd be nice if they did.
Anyway, it looks like we're going to be dealing with Cory The Relationship Expert Matthews today. Topanga joins the scene and defends Shangela's decision, but Cory continues his "They shouldn't break up! They should be like us!" routine. He specifically said he wants them to "be like us", conveniently forgetting that both he and Topanga went out with someone else not that long ago. What a preachy hypocrite.
In class, Eric, Jack, and Rachel have a surprising new classmate.
The class's teacher, Dean Bolander, shows up with her no-nonsense attitude, causing Feeny to immediately develop a big ol crush on her. She assigns group projects to the class, so Eric calls dibs on Jack, while Feeny and Rachel team up.
Meanwhile, Cameron and Shawn are occupying The Dorm with a rubber band on the doorknob.
Angela explains that she's fine with it, that Shawn can do whatever he wants, but of course Cory isn't going to let that stand. He tries to convince her that she shouldn't be so calm and accepting of this breakup, finishing with "I'm just trying to be a friend." That sets off the fireworks though, as Angela responds with "Let's not kid ourselves, you and I were never really friends to begin with." Cory is left speechless, and I think we all have to agree with Angela here. This is one of those rare dramatic moments that's actually supported by history. And perhaps that's part of why we never cared about her as a character. Cory is our gateway into the show, so if he doesn't care, why should we?
I really like that Topanga is straight up calling him out on this. Drama supported by what we've actually seen on the show, that is a treat.
Eric is showing off his karate skills to Jack before class begins, and I went ahead and made it the new background because it's hysterical and we were due for a new one. Dean Bolander arrives and starts class, asking for volunteers to present their project. Feeny volunteers, even though Rachel is terrified of going first. The topic of the projects is basically Nature vs. Nurture, and Feeny takes the stance that we might expect.
That's got Shawn Hunter written all over it, doesn't it? That's the theme of the entire Shawn-Feeny arc. And I'd say it's one of the most predominant themes of the entire series. When a Boy meets the World, it's less about what the World does, and more about how the Boy (or girl) reacts and adapts to it. So yeah. I like that Feeny's still sticking to his guns.
However, it is clear that environment does play some role, as Feeny cannot help falling into his old teaching patterns, going so far as to treat Dean Bolander herself as if she's his student. Rachel is able to overcome her environment, gaining the courage to speak to the class, but only to explain Feeny's inability to overcome his environment, calling him out for acting like he's the teacher. Interesting development, and Feeny's not really sure how to respond.
As you can see, Cory is intent on proving to Angela that they are in fact friends. Look at that ancient ass iMac on her desk in the bottom left, boy those were some times.
She doesn't want to deal with Cory's bull shit though, and I don't blame her at all, so she escapes to the shower since Cory's afraid of the coed bathroom. He's finally able to conquer that fear though, because he's "more scared of losing you". This strong desire to be Angela's BFF isn't exactly supported by history, but it is supported by the character. This is just the kind of thing Cory would do, based on everything we know about him. Doesn't mean it's logical, but it is justified.
KA-TRUUUUUUUTHHH
Ladies and gentlemen that was the sound of a truth bomb exploding, dropped from the fighter jet of Ace Pilot Angela. Damn, shut-down of the century. The best part is that Cory admits it, and asks for a chance to get to know her. Angela explains that it's too hard to be friends with Cory when she's still got feelings for Shawn. They back and forth for a while and eventually Cory wears her down.
That's one of Angela's best lines so far. Very mature. Shawn wants to meet new people and have his space, and she doesn't want to stand in the way of that. I think Cory is fundamentally unable to understand that concept, but he agrees to keep her feelings a secret, even from Topanga. So now that they've got their Secret of Enduring Friendship, they're going to try to be real friends.
We bear witness to the conclusion of Eric and Jack's presentation, as Eric summarizes with "Watches... chocolate... cheese... Ladies and gentlemen we give you the Swiss. Thank you." It's hilarious, but Jack is back to doing his "this guy is such an idiot, poor me" faces and gestures. Class ends and Dean Bolander explains to Feeny that teachers never stop being teachers, and advises him to apply for a teaching position at the university. Convenient. We can see the sparks starting to fly between Bolander and Feeny, prompting Eric to give the most elaborate Feeny Call of the series.
Will Friedle is a fucking genius. Matthew Lawrence back there is having a real hard time keeping his laughter contained. Obviously there's more than what's in the gif, but it's too long and it doesn't really translate to text... Anyway, that Feeny Call is amazing, and it looks like Feeny's gonna be back to teaching. During the credits, Cory, Topanga, Angela, and Shawn are all brushing their teeth at the same time. Cory and Angela are BLATANTLY smiling and winking at each other, it looks really stupid and obvoius.
Plot: 1.0 - Drama supported by history. Thumbs up. Feeny makes his way back to center stage.
Character Development: 1.0 - Cory and Angela are friends, Shawn is still at war with his hormones, and Feeny is going to be a teacher again.
Humor: 1.0 - Eric is fantastic, of course, but everyone else kinda fell flat. I was gonna go for .75, but that Feeny Call is just too good.
Life Lesson: 0.5 - "Free will decides behavior, and not one's environment." I like that they included that and still talked about how environment does inevitably have some effect. I would have liked it if that also could relate to Cory's half of the episode, but there isn't really anything to tie it to. Maybe that Cory won't let the environment of the breakup stop him from being friends with Angela? It's kind of a stretch.
3.5 out of 4.0. There's really nothing wrong with this episode except Cory's behavior. He is a bull seeing red when it comes to friendship, he's goes really hard. But like I said earlier, that's just who Cory is.
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Post by sbtbfanatic on Jun 28, 2015 13:32:17 GMT
Episode 6x05 "Better Than The Average Cory"
It looks like we're jumping right in to Feeny being a college professor, as we see him leading a group of students around an art museum. Angela and Shawn approach their respective best friends to announce their good news. Shawn got into "the photography program", which, I mean, holy shit, continuity. And Angela got an A on her essay "Maintaining Black Identity While Having Three Very White Friends." And Cory found a penny! But Topanga didn't do a damn thing. Didn't even get a callback to her previous fascination with art. Either way, we see that Shangela are doing a good job of staying friends after breaking up.
Cory gives an interpretation of a painting by "Alexandra Nechita", but it's completely wrong, as is pointed out by the real Alexandra Nechita, a real life child prodigy. I have no idea how she ended up on this show, but I wouldn't even know who she is otherwise. Our hero makes a real jackass out of himself here. It's a bit uncharacteristic, but still funny.
Cory clumsily apologizes, while Feeny begins to drool over the child prodigy. He starts in with a barrage of complicated, artsy fartsy, hoity toity blabbledyblark questions, and she looks none too excited about those topics. I smell a character arc!
While we're on the subject of character arcs, it looks like Cory's going to resurrect his classic inferiority complex. That's been one of the most recurring elements of Cory's character since the very beginning, where he doesn't think he's interesting, or good enough, or what have you, only to be convinced otherwise by the end of the episode, usually because of something Shawn says or does. And we can nitpick, like "Why does he always have this problem if he's fixed it so many times?", but in this particular case, that's a bad argument. How many times have you just had a day where you're like "damn I suck, what am I doing with my life", and then you have to pick yourself back up? Happens to me at least once a week. Everybody's got their ups and downs, Cory's no exception.
Anyway.
Cory mentions that Nechita is the same age as his sister, establishing his inferiority of the day, and Nechita herself overhears. For some reason she sees the prospect of meeting a complete stranger as fuckin CHRISTMAS just because she's the same age and gender. So that's how Alexandra Nechita ends up in Cory Matthews's kitchen. She doesn't even have a chaperon or her parents or anything. Some moron at an art museum has a sister? BETTER SKEDADDLE.
So Morgan and the prodigy hit it off right away, but it's weird since Morgan looks ten years younger. Looks can be deceiving though. The two are actually the same age, both thirteen for this episode, and in fact Lindsay Ridgeway (Morgan) is two months older.
That is mind blowing.
The two girls run off to play Banjo Kazooie in Morgan's room, which is the single greatest way to foster a powerful friendship. (Grant Kirkhope? Are you out there? Do you read my blog, Grant Kirkhope? I love you.)
Meanwhile, at The Apartment, it's more of exactly the same. Eric really needs to go to the bathroom, but he's holding it in, afraid to leave Jack alone with Rachel. This proves to be a somewhat ineffective long-term strategy, as he has to run off immediately after Jack tricks him into drinking some water. The moment Jack gets a chance, it's... business as usual.
Rachel plays it off as a joke, and then starts choking on that hot dog. Unfortunately for Jack, that's not a euphemism.
If I wrote... a list... of the things on television that make me the MOST pissed off... The "It's not what it looks like" gag would be a TOP. FUCKING. CONTENDER. I have the video paused as Rachel's choking, a blind man can see what's about to happen. Jack's gonna do the Heimlich and Eric's gonna walk out and go 'WAHHHAHAGHHRHHAH". I am dreading pressing play again, but here goes nothing.
Being this right isn't as fun as you might think. It was even worse since they started off with the "he doesn't realize she's choking at first" thing. What an annoying waste of time. The only takeaway is that Rachel feels extremely indebted to Jack and Eric is jealous.
Cory is in his room with Shawn, looking over all his lame participation trophies from his childhood and teen years. Okay, see, I thought we were doing "I'm not interesting", which was the reason for that explanation earlier. Now it seems like we're doing "I've never been interesting", which is a little harder to swallow. I mean the guy literally traveled back in time twice, that's gotta be worth something.
Everyone who has ever seen this episode is in love with that moment and wants that poster. That is just genius. Down in the kitchen, it's some shit we don't care about. Amy and Alan ask Morgan if some other girl named Ellouise is the reason she's not going to enter "the talent show at the youth center". Yeah more like EL-LOSER. Apparently SMELLOUISE wins every year, so there's no point in trying,
The parents tell their daughter she doesn't have to compete if she doesn't want to, which is nice of them, but Cory accuses them of "grooming another 8th place honorable mention nothin special *something I can't understand*". He goes on to quite ruthlessly insult his father's inability to raise him beyond normalcy. "I'm average because you're average." Alan looks absolutely heartbroken, and I don't blame him. Cory is a real punk sometimes.
I really hate it when tv shows and movies do this, but now we're just magically out of that awkward or tense situation, as if everyone just walked away. There's a quick group therapy session with our four freshman in Cory's dorm, until Alan arrives to whisk his son off to Learn-A-Lesson Land. But not before we take a trip back to Rachel Land.
Jack finally decides to cash in his favor with Rachel by asking for a PB&J sandwich. Eric realizes that Jack isn't a huge jerk, and that's why he's not using his favor on something that involves genitalia. And that's it, that's their story for this episode. Not interesting or exciting, and it's not even very funny. Besides, I'm sure they'll both be back to preying on Rachel in the next episode anyway. So it's all pointless.
So yeah, learn a lesson land.
Is it supposed to be terrifying? Either way, it's the exact same place where Shawn and Jack reconciled back in 5x02. Shawn and Jack used to live here with Chet before Jack's mom left. You can see the green doorframe that leads to the apartment in both pictures.
You thought I wouldn't notice, didn't you, Michael Jacobs?
YOUUUUUUU THOUGHT I WOULDN'T NOTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
So why are we here now? That little store in the bottom left of the first picture is the store where Alan's father worked for 40 years, and where Alan himself got his first job.
Alan goes on to explain that he was proud of his father, and respected him, because he did the best that he could. Further, "maybe if my son thinks that 'average' is nothing, then, I've done my job..." And that really is a fantastic line. While he doesn't approve of looking down on "average", he's provided a life for Cory where it's at least possible to do that. And that's beautiful, in a sort of sad way. What's interesting is that Cory's attitude toward being average didn't upset Shawn at all. I'm surprised he didn't have the sort of reaction that we're seeing from Alan.
It's time for that talent show we heard about earlier. HELLOUISE is twirling flaming batons, which is definitely a tough act to follow. Alexandra Necktie is giving Morgan a pep talk backstage, and eventually the singing happens. She's chosen "Wind Beneath My Wings," and she's a decent enough singer. Cory eventually joins in, singing the lyrics at his father as an impulsive apology.
Ben Savage really gives his all here, with hilarious results. But obviously it's supposed to be silly rather than emotional.
We never learn who won the talent show, which is probably the best way to go. Morgan winning would have been disingenuous and Disney-y (Like when Riley won that award on Girl Meets World recently? Holy shit I almost threw up). And Morgan losing would have just been a bad use of time. So anyway, Alan and his fuzzy headed son have one last heart to heart. Cory admits that it was just easy to blame his father, when it's really up to himself to make his own life something to be proud of. Alan explains that that's what life is, is finding your own validation, and some people do find it through their talent.
Good old Alan. I love what they've done here. Instead of going for the "everyone is good at something, you'll find your talent" which just feels straight out of Full House, he's explaining that validation can come from all kinds of places, which in his case was raising a family. Good stuff.
During the credits, Eric pretends to be electrocuted by his toaster to get mouth to mouth from Rachel.
It doesn't work. Real twist, I know.
Plot: 0.25 - Cory whines and complains and is mean to his family. Eric and Jack don't do anything.
Character Development: 1.0 - We delve deeper into the well-developed character of Alan Matthews, and William Russ gives a great performance as always.
Humor: 0.5 - Disappointing is probably the best word. Still funny sometimes, like the celery poster, but the laughs were scarce. This was the least-funny we've seen Eric in a loooooong time.
Life Lesson: 1.0 - "If my son thinks average is nothing, then I guess I did my job", and "Other people find it in other ways."
2.75 out of 4.0. The plot is extremely thin. This isn't what I was hoping for, where Cory tries to make something out of himself, like we saw a lot in season 2. He just bitches about it the entire time, without every actually doing anything. And we know he's capable! He joined the wrestling team, started a school radio show, he was a goddamn TV celebrity in Quiz Show! He is more than capable of being good at things, but he just sat around complaining. And we didn't see any character arc at all from Nechita, she just sort of dropped a trail of plot points, so we could move through the story. And I don't even wanna talk about The Apartment anymore.
On the other hand, Alan kicked some serious ass, and the Lessons were strong. So it's worth watching if that's what you're looking for.
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